Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Point Of View, Pretentious Rubbish, Professionalism, Quotes, R/GA, Relevance, Resonance, Wieden+Kennedy
To people who have worked with me in the past … what I am about to say may sound strange. But the older I get, the more I realise what a total bloody nightmare I must have been as an employee and colleague.
I know … I know … you’ve known this for years, but I genuinely didn’t.
Sure, I got I was opinionated, persistent and refused to accept someone’s opinion I disagreed with – even if they were senior or important – but my intentions were always for good.
Good for the work.
Good for the audience.
Good for the clients ambition.
That didn’t mean I always pulled it off – after all, I have a spectacular track record for disaster and stupidity in the quest for doing something brilliant – but it did mean I always gave my all, learnt from [most] of my mistakes and pushed myself to keep finding ways to be original.
And yet, despite that, I still couldn’t help being a cheeky bastard.
Or – in the words of Andy and countless other colleagues and clients – an annoying bastard.
Talks.
Articles.
Client presentations.
You name it, I would find a way to mess with it.
Never maliciously … but because I hate the industries pomposity.
I should point out that doesn’t mean I don’t take what I do seriously.
Nor does it mean I don’t respect the industry that I have worked in my entire career.
It’s simply that I don’t think I have to take myself so seriously in doing it.
Now at 52 you’d think I’d have got my shit together.
But I don’t. In fact, I was recently called by the management of Metallica, ‘resistant to maturity’.
I think they meant it as a compliment … I mean, they renewed my contract again. But while I do believe that there is some benefit to not taking everything so seriously – both attitudinally, creatively and enabling a team to feel free from judgement – I also now appreciate it can be fucking annoying as well.
Which is all my way of highlighting the 2 articles that helped me see what a pain in the ass I may be.
Yes … yes … I appreciate this should have been obvious ages ago.
After all, I once was quoted as saying ‘wank’ on the front page of Campaign … closely followed by me saying I was an ‘annoying’ prick’. And then Campaign got in the act by accusing me of having an affair with a reindeer. But despite that and – let’s be honest – a fuckton of other episodes, including getting drunk on cough sweets and then inadvertently insulting a client [Sorry Lee], I was still none the wiser.
First is this in Little Black Book … where they asked a few planners to comment on some research about people’s habits/trends in Australia.
When it came out, I read it and saw all the other planners being thoughtful and considerate, whereas I go in with 2 guns blazing, blatantly taking the piss out of the whole premise and approach of the research.
Nice one Rob.
In my defence, I did think the research was questionable … both in terms of approach and in findings … but I could definitely of handled my response with a greater level of professionalism, let alone maturity.
And yet it gets worse …
You see every year, BBDO global do some sort of questionnaire to strategists about the trends they think they’ll see coming in the upcoming year.
While Colenso is part of BBDO, we never think – or act – as if we are and, to be fair to BBDO, they never ask us to be and generally leave us alone.
This is all my way of trying to explain why I used a tone in my answers that sounds so piss-takey you’d imagine they’d want to have me buried in a dark whole, let alone my answers.
And yet they then went and ran it all over social channels.
All. Over.
Which means I admire their lack of judgement but question their standards.
Unless, of course, it was an attempt to get me sacked … which would totally make sense.
I So to anyone I’ve ever worked with – or for – I am sorry.
I know it’s too late.
I know I should have known.
I know I’m not going to change.
But – finally – I appreciate I am a fucking nightmare.
[I’ve never been so glad to have comments off. And I will be ignoring the impending emails, ha]
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Brand Suicide, Comment, Corporate Evil, Embarrassing Moments, England, Influencers, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Social Divide, Social Media
The media – and marketing – have perpetuated all manner of stereotypes over the years.
They spend enormous amounts of time and money painting psychological beliefs into society so they can profit from others shortcomings or vulnerabilities.
They don’t care if it destroys lives, to them that’s just canon fodder in the quest of riches, so everything is justifiable.
Which explains why we see so many things being labelled by the media and marketing industries … because it’s the perfect way to achieve mass social psychological manipulation.
You name it and they’ll have given a name to it.
Superfast.
Superfoods.
Superhair.
Supersoup
They’ll use a label to sell anything … from kale to self-help books to gender roles.
And while that is a fucking horrible way to behave, there is one thing that is pretty impressive and that’s their ability to not just never stop doing it … but to never stop inventing new bullshit labels to fuck with people.
Take a look at this …
A CEO body?
A fucking CEO body?
What does that even mean?
Do all CEO’s share a particular physical format?
I mean, I know Elon and Jeff went from dweeb to muscle mountains, but I’ve still met a bunch of CEO’s with very different body shapes to them.
Also, what sort of CEO are they talking about?
A CEO of a big company? A start-up company? A fast-food company?
Do they lead 3 employees or 33,000 employees?
Are they heading up a profitable company or a crypto disaster?
Do they write thought leader pieces on Linkedin or are they living in a social media blackhole?
And why are you only showing a man?
A white man.
Is it because you think only white men can become a CEO?
Have you inadvertently just explained the real reason behind corporate racism, prejudice and the glass ceiling all in one go?
And while I’m at it, can you explain what you mean by the term ‘midlife’ in your headline?
What is that?
Is it a specific number?
Is it 30?
What about 40?
I bet it’s a mid-number like 45 or something … just to mess with us.
Come on, don’t keep it to yourself. Is there a standard ‘midlife’ no one told me about.
You can tell me. I know at 52 I’ve likely passed it, but I’d still like to know.
Finally – and I really don’t want to be picky here – but why are you telling everyone what the 16 foods ALL men should be eating are?.
Is it CEO food?
Don’t CEO’s eat fancy and expensive stuff?
And if all men eat it, does that mean all men will become CEO’s?
How will that happen? Are there enough CEO jobs to go round to make that happen?
And what about the women who are CEO’s? Do they eat that food as well? Is that how they got to the top … they ate like a man and had a body like a man?
I’m so confused.
In fact the only thing that’s clear to me is how you’re using marketing labelling bullshit to add even more expectation and judgement on people’s lives just so you can attempt to profit even more from making society question how they are supposed to look and live.
All this coming from The Times newspaper.
The fucking Times!!!
Once the pinnacle of journalism and standards, now a peddler of utter horseshit.
Even more so when you think what their CEO’s body is like …
Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure no one would want to look like that, let alone be like that.
And if The Times think they do, it may help explain why their readership keeps falling.
Dickheads.
Oh I really enjoyed writing that.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Business, Confidence, Context, Culture, Fake Attitude, Marketing, Membership, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Pretentious Rubbish, Revenge, Twitter
Over the last 12 months, one of the things I’ve had an almost adverse reaction to is twitter.
I can see Andy reading this – and I expect an email from him reinforcing this – and shouting:
“Now you know why I always called it twatter”
And he may … just may … be right.
I used to like twitter.
It had a similar feel to the early days of blogging.
Community. Supportive. Elevation of knowledge and debate.
But now …. well, it’s a cesspit of hate, ego and imposters.
Full of people on self-made pedestals claiming to be the next incarnation of Christ. Who believe they are better and smarter than the bastard love-triangle-child of Weiden, Edison and Ocasio-Cortez. Who are disturbingly confident in their claims of being more knowledgable about companies histories, operations and decision making than employees – or even founders – of those very companies. Or even the CIA.
And yet, when you look for any of the work these genius’ have actually made … what you tend to find is more tweets.
Tweets about what others are doing wrong.
Tweets about how they could do things better.
Tweets about how they know the answer to everything and beyond.
Tweets about how they want others to give them answers to questions that someone else is paying them to provide.
Tweets about how they claim ownership for business or societal behaviour change via articles that they had nothing to do with that talk about business or societal behaviour change.
Tweets about how their ego, arrogance, aggression, bitterness and dismissal of others know no bounds.
Tweets. Tweets. Tweets.
And this was before Elon Musk, the World’s comedy villain, overpaid for the bloody thing.
Of course not everyone is like this. There are still some amazing people on there who are generous and open with their comments and consideration … who can disagree without aspiring to demolish those who have a different point of view … however they’re increasingly becoming the minority, drowned out by wave after wave of hateful, spiteful, vicious commentary which – for the first time in my life – pushed me away for my mental health.
This was shocking to me for 3 reasons.
1. Having worked in this industry for so long, I have the thickest of thick skin.
2. I’m a social-media tart. Not just in terms of platforms I belong to, but in terms of ‘content’ I churn out.
3. No one was personally attacking or abusing me.
Basically, twitter has become exhausting to me.
A firehose of cliquey, self-congratulatory, pseudo-intellectual commentary that tries – and fails – to hide it is ego and insecurity shouting into an echo-chamber.
Personally this has devastated me.
I loved twitter – like I loved blogs – because I genuinely felt they helped me be become better at things I do or wanted to do.
It gave me a direct line to people I respected where I was able to listen, learn, interact, explore and debate.
Twitter wanted me to be better.
It wanted me to be exposed to new ideas, ideals and considerations.
But not now.
Now it’s like a digital version of The Hunger Games.
Destruction in 280 characters.
Words used as bombs and swords.
People elevating themselves by bringing others down … through verbal attacks, gaslighting or building a wall of imagined exclusivity between them and others, even if it only exists in the minds, ego and insecurity of those who post so often, you wonder how the hell they have time to do their actual job.
Anyway, the reason for all this is that I recently read a quote from Musk about what he thought Twitter was:
I couldn’t agree with him more.
In fact, I think he encapsulated why I have fallen out-of-love with his $44 billion indulgence.
Because mediums are neither rare nor well done.
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, China, Comment, Communication Strategy, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creative Development, Creativity, Egovertising, Fake Attitude, Focus Groups, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Nike, olympics, Planning, Pretentious Rubbish, Relevance, Resonance, Respect, Shanghai, Wieden+Kennedy
Toothpaste.
It’s all kind-of the same isn’t it.
OK, so the manufacturers would disagree – which is why they keep launching different variants with all manner of ‘secret ingredients’ – but to the average person on the street, not only is the product pretty much the same, so is the advertising.
I get it, toothpaste ads must be hard … but even that doesn’t justify this shit from Colgate.
Cop a load of this.
Yep … ‘Made for greatness’.
Not made for great teeth, but greatness.
Hmmmmn … that’s not an over-claim whatsoever is it?
It’s a toothpaste.
For teeth.
TEETH.
And while teeth have a big role in our lives – and culture – THEY HAVE FUCK ALL TO DO WITH YOUR ABILITy TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN.
Or a flight of stairs for that matter.
Now I appreciate I’m biased because in 2012, we did Greatness for the London Olympics … but have a look and tell me which you think is better … more resonant and more appropriate?
Yes, exactly.
And that’s before you have been reminded about the two lead NIKE Olympic ads from 2012.
God, even now Jogger gives me chills.
As I said, I get how hard toothpaste ads must be, but if Colgate want to do something right and interesting, they should give me a call – as I literally have 3 great ideas they can have. For a price. On the bright side, I promise you that whatever the price we agree on, you wont have to pay with your dignity like you have had to do with this.
Oh god how I’d love it if they did that, even though we all know it’s not going to happen.
So I’ll leave you with this.
Colgate … I am sure this passed all manner of internal research tests.
I am sure you this makes you all feel you’re doing something really important for humanity.
And while healthy, bright, strong, clean teeth are important – and Colgate plays a big role in that – it would be so much better if it helped make the brains of the people who approved this, as bright as their teeth, because maybe they wouldn’t have churned out the advertising equivalent of a root canal without anaesthetic.
Call me Colgate. Seriously. Please call me. I can put a billion dollar smile on your face.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Chaos, China, Confidence, Consultants, Content, Context, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Emotion, Empathy, Honesty, Influencers, Innovation, Insight, Internet, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Prejudice, Pretentious Rubbish, Relevance, Research, Resonance, Social Divide, Social Media
When I was at R/GA, we got invited to do a big pitch in China.
I was travelling a lot so asked some of my brilliant colleagues to help me with developing the overall strategy.
When I came back, I found they had done a ton of work.
Huge amounts of research.
Huge amounts of analysis.
Huge amounts of thinking.
It was fantastic, there was just one problem.
It was all wrong.
Not because what they had done wasn’t true or accurate, but simply because they’d fallen for planners achilles heel.
‘What they thought was interesting and new wasn’t interesting or new for the audience they needed to talk to.’
While they will never make that mistake again, you’d be amazed how much this happens.
I used to see it in China all the time.
Westerners coming into the country for the first time and throwing down all the things that they found fascinating without realising what they were saying was just normal life for anyone there.
The vast populations of cities.
The local alternatives to twitter, youtube and facebook.
Wechat’s amazing array of features that are embedded in everyday life.
The incredible migration of the country during the New Year festival.
The amount of money spent on 11.11
Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn.
It’s such an easy and dangerous mistake to make.
Driven by a pinch of arrogance here … a sliver of laziness there … and underpinned by a big dollop of what I wrote about a while back.
I see it all the time … doesn’t matter whatsoever if it’s strategists talking about cultures of other nations or cultures in other parts of their own nation.
Hell, some of the stuff I heard spouted in London planning circles have been bordering on embarrassing.
From using data without any element of context to allegedly reveal ‘why Northern values are unique values’ right through to a continuous barrage of repurposed and reclaimed ‘trend reports’ which enables them to state with utter certainty they know how ‘TikTok is shaping culture’ … despite never once referring to China, where the platform has been in operation for years and where culture there are literally light years ahead of the West in terms of how they use it and how they are influenced by it.
Seriously, when I see or hear this stuff, I wonder if they realise it say’s far more about them than the people they are supposedly expertly explaining?.
Look, I totally appreciate there are many reasons why this situation is occurring.
And as I said, there are many parties guilty of this situation.
But – and it’s a big but – we, as individuals and a discipline, have to take some blame for it.
Thinking we don’t have to interact with people to talk about people.
Believing having an answer is more important than having understanding.
Valuing individual revelation more than contextual appreciation.
All this does is lead to work that satisfies our ego while boring our audience to death.
We can be great.
We can be valuable.
We can push the potential of creativity.
But it won’t happen if we continue to think if it’s new to us, it must be new to everyone.