The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


How To Feel Old In A Picture …
March 13, 2023, 8:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Age, Childhood, Comment, Culture, England

OK, so this only works if …

1. You grew up in England.
2. You’re of a certain age.

But assuming you are both those things, here’s a way to start your week on a low.

It’s amazing these 2 spent over 70,000 hours on television.

Of course, it was from a time when television was 3 channels and finished at midnight.

But still, that’s the equivalent of 2916 consecutive days … 416 weeks … eight years.

To be honest, I always found the young girl, Carole Hersee, a bit creepy – far creepier than Bubbles the Clown who is next to her … so it’s quite reassuring she turned out to be a ‘normal’ woman and not a psychopathic murderer.

And for those who don’t know what the hell I’m talking about … it’s the famous Test Card F, which was designed by Carole’s Dad and for British people of a certain age, is a reminder just how old they now are.

Happy Monday. Cue: Evil laugh.

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Your History May By Ugly, But It’s Yours …
November 23, 2022, 8:15 am
Filed under: Age, Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Comment, Music, Nottingham

Recently I was reading the Nottingham Evening Post when I saw a pub I knew, was being knocked down.

To be honest, I was more surprised it’s taken this long, because it always was a shit hole.

The food was shit.
The decor was shit.
The service was shit.
The clientele was shit.

It was a venue with almost no single redeeming feature.

In fact the only thing that surprised me more was that it looks just as shit today as it always did … and I have not stepped foot in that place for 36 years.

THIRTY SIX. [So yeah, I was underage when I stopped going there, let alone started]

And yet, hearing of it’s impending destruction made me nostalgic and a teeny bit sad.

Because for all it’s horrificness, it played an important part in my history.

This was the place I played my first ever ‘grown up’ gig.
This was the place where the council told us we were too loud.
This was the place where a biker gang told us to play certain songs or face the consequences.
This was the place my parents first saw me perform.
This was the place that got me addicted to gig life.
This was the place that introduced me to new characters and friends.
This was the place that started – even though it lasted just a few years – a life and career that was beyond anything I could ever imagine.
This was the place I walked the bridge between kid and adult. From food to nightlife to feeling a member of a gang to believing – and seeing – a new life and world was possible.

So yeah … The Forester’s was always an undeniable, unmitigated shithole.

But it was also my university for life of adventure.

I’ll always be grateful for it.

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Goals …
November 1, 2022, 8:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Age, Attitude & Aptitude, Individuality

This is the actress Keeley Hawes.

While I have enjoyed a lot of the television and movies she has appeared in, I don’t know much about her other than she is an accomplished actress who – having read a few interviews about her – is smart, self-aware and considered.

[Yes, I know her husband is also an accomplished actor, but I don’t want to diminish her individuality or achievements, because – let’s be honest – most women end up being seen as someone’s wife or mother rather than their own person]

She recently talked about changing her career.

Not because she doesn’t love what she does … nor because she isn’t as successful as she hoped … but because of COVID, she has started to re-evaluate what she wants to do in her life, especially as she will be turning 50 in a few years and that feels a pivotal age.

I totally get that.

As I’ve said many times before, the problem with getting older is you keep discovering more things you want to explore and pursue, however you have become painfully aware you won’t be able to do all of them … not least because as you do one new activity, they reveal even more things you want to chase down.

But while the temptation is to just stick with what you know to not frustrate yourself, the impact of time does create am anxiety you can’t entirely shake off. So while I acknowledge it’s an absolute privilege for anyone to be able to change direction in the quest for more life experience … it’s likely something most people feel.

None of which has anything to do with this post.

The reason is when I saw that photo of Keeley, I just thought it was amazing.

She looks so cool, elegant and rock n’ roll all at the same time.

I can only dream of being that, but then I wear birkies so I don’t stand a chance.

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The Fine Line Between Evil And Genius Media Planning …

A few weeks ago I saw something on twitter that has deeply conflicted me.

It was this …

That’s right, they’re lawn bowl mats … sponsored by Co-op Funerals.

Now I don’t know much about bowls.

I know they attract a much broader age of ‘player’ these days, but I’m still pretty sure the majority still are of the more elderly variety.

And given I’m 52, we’re talking proper old.

I could be wrong.

But given someone thought it was a good idea for Co-op funerals to sponsor the mat, it seems I may not be. And this is what has had me conflicted for weeks.

On one hand, it’s just fucking genius isn’t it.

Old people.
Funerals.
Chance to make arrangements before someone else has to.

But it’s also just a bit evil, isn’t it?

Old people.
Out enjoying themselves.
Message to remind them of their impending demise.

If I allowed comments, this is the sort of post where I know they would come into their own. But I don’t … which means I’ll be getting extra emails of commentary and abuse from the same people who used to do that on here.

And I don’t mind admitting I’m quite excited about that, And quite interested in what they’ll say.

Because I have the sneaky suspicion they may think it’s clever.

And that old people may find it both slightly amusing and kinda useful.

And that by doing something like this, it becomes a social media campaign by fact of it being infinitely shareable.

Or … they may say no one will give a shit because all it will be to them is a free mat so they can rest their knee as they try to destroy that prick from up the road who always seems to win.

But to whoever did this, I admire both your smarts and your mischief … because I haven’t seen something so perfect since [I think] Naked got their client – cheap meat in a can maker – Fray Bentos to sponsor some local Darts Players.

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The Beginning Of The End Or The End Of The Beginning?

I cannot believe it is the end of June.

How did that happen so fast?

The problem with the year going so quickly is that so is my mortality.

When you’re in your thirties or forties … hearing someone has died at 73 seems centuries away, but when you’ve just turned 52, it seems like a week.

I’ve written how much turning 50 has affected me before.

From looking wistfully at photos of people who look a bit like my son, albeit much older … through to how much I love my wife … to finally appreciating a good garden … to talking about my career.

The reality is, if you’re still in adland at my age – or probably any industry – you definitely feel you’re approaching the end of your journey.

And you are …

That doesn’t mean you don’t have a shit-ton to offer or that you’re not doing exciting work … the reality is the industry has always valued ‘new’ over experience – or even creativity for that matter – so it’s just how it goes.

However from a pure ego perspective, it can still sting a little … especially when many of the people getting the acclaim have not done anything of note, other than play the self-publicity game very, very well.

Repeatedly shouting their reframed arguments, judgement on others work or modern takes on old behaviours and then – just as you’re about to turn into a bitter bastard – you realise that’s probably what the previous generation of adfolk thought about you and your mouth – and suddenly things look very different.

And as much as that revelation is a metaphorical kick in the face brings, it also is pretty liberating.

Because while it’s nice to be noticed – and there’s some people out there doing things that truly deserve to be because they’re trying to take the possibilities of creativity to new places, from POCC to Ivy Huang at Tencent to Mr Hoon Kim at Gentle Monster [and I know I’m biased given he’s a client of mine] to the usual suspects like Nils etc to name but a few – the reality is not being defined by your job or your title or your employer is far better for your health, happiness and creativity … and yet that is the opposite of what the industry promotes.

Your value is based on your title.
Your talent is linked to who you work for.
Your reputation is decided by how well known you are rather than what you’ve done.

I get it. I felt that way for a time. But it’s also a bit insane.
I cannot tell you how differently people listened to what I said when I was at Wieden than when I was at Cynic, despite that on many occasions, I was saying EXACTLY the same thing. It happens now with Metallica. People who wouldn’t give me the time of day before suddenly think what I spout has value because some heavy metal musicians treat me as their cat litter tray. But the reality is success is as much down to good fortune as it is talent – even though talent is still very important – so to play to what you think someone wants you to be rather than who you actually are only ends up undermining you.

You may not realise that till later, but at one point you’ll look in the mirror and know.

Let’s be honest, turning 52 is pretty pants.

Even more so when you find a photo of yourself at 22.

Yep, that’s really me … from my passport photo.

Hair, youth and serial killer stare.

But at 52 you ache.
You look older than god.
And you’re made to feel the industry you’ve pretty much given your working life to, is trying to leave you behind purely based on your age.

And despite me having so much fun and doing so much exciting stuff with bands, I still adore adland.

I may not like where it is going or what it now values, but it’s given – and continues to give me – so much and I’ll always be grateful for that.

And while my time in the industry is different to what it once was, it still gives me so much … with the latest gift being the realisation their issue with older people is their problem not mine.