The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Whether it was a band I was playing in or a product I was discussing or a company I was starting … the choice of name has always been something that has inspired great debate.

Some companies have processes and theories in how to choose a name – however having seen what that actually entails first hand, I don’t think shoving a word into a thesaurus and then writing down all the answers while you charge your client top fees for ‘strategic counsel’ is all that smart.

Well, it’s probably quite smart from a financial sense, but that’s about it.

Of course there are some ‘rules’ you should consider when choosing a name – how it translates into other languages is one – but more often than not, you look for a name that embodies something about you or what you do.

OK, so that sounds like I’m suggesting Richard Branson was a virgin when he started the company or the guys behind Naked were errrrrm, nude a lot of the time … and whilst they might be amusing coincidences [allegedly], what I actually meant was that people deciding upon a name tend to gravitate to things that express their view or attitude or experience or something that has additional meaning to them.

Sometimes it can come quite quickly … cynic took a day thanks to a book I was reading at the time … however I also know that when we launched our ridiculously stupid and ego fulfilling company, potent_flix, we took weeks and weeks to come to some sort of consensus.

Seriously, if you want a less frustrating life, DON’T choose a name via committee … I guarantee you’ll spend half the time arguing and the other half wondering how you can kill everyone else and get away with it.

And whilst people say a name isn’t important – it’s more about what a company does – I don’t think too many people would like to fly with Crashalot Airlines.

So how do you choose?

Well contrary to companies like LANDOR, I don’t think there’s a ‘process’.

Sure there’s a bunch of things you have to consider … but interms of a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach?

Well maybe that works in the minds of certain companies however on planet earth, I doubt it.

You fluctuate between going ‘cool’ or ‘corporate’.

What you ‘do’ or how you ‘think’.

‘Attitude’ or ‘delivery’.

You get the idea …

And that’s only the first stage … wait till you have to decide on how the bloody thing looks!

OH MY GOD!

Anyway, as usual, I digress, I mention all these things because whilst in China – amongst all the piles and piles of DVD’s from production companies – one stood out.

Now you could say it’s a very clever marketing ploy – because in a very competitive industry, getting noticed is half the battle – however something tells me that whilst this company might appeal to certain deviants within the industry, that wasn’t the real reason behind the choice of name … which begs the question, what the hell was the reason?

CAN

MY

MOTHER

PLEASE

NOT

SCROLL

DOWN

BECAUSE

AS

MUCH

AS

I

KNOW

SHE

NOW

KNOWS

I’M

NOT

PURITY

PERSONIFIED

I

DON’T

WANT

TO

MAKE

IT

EVEN

MORE

OBVIOUS

I am sure I wouldn’t be wrong to suggest we’ve all gone through situations where the time available has impacted what we’ve wanted to do/achieve.

Sometimes this limitation of time is down to us … maybe we’ve miscalculated how long something would take to do or – a personal favourite of mine – we’ve procrastinated to the point where we’re left with a fraction of what we could have had.

There’s other scenarios too …

Maybe there’s been a sudden change of situation that means a much quicker response is required or it could be that an opportunity presents itself where despite all practicality screaming “NOOOOOOO”, you just have to give it a go, if only to satisfy your curiosity.

However, as much as there are an almost limitless amount of circumstances that can result in time being impacted, more often than not, when it absolutely matters – you will have certain standards that ensure what you do isn’t the cheapest or nastiest solution.

Except for those who work in adland it seems.

Ladies and gentlemen … boys and girls … I present you with the laziest in “lazy ads of the World” …

Now I’ve been around long enough to know there may be mitigating circumstances …

1/ The client briefed the agency late

3/ The client thought they were a creative genius

… but regardless of that, it is totally shit.

Now to be fair, I only saw the ad in the American press, so there may be a TV spot that turns this car crash into more of a slight car bump – but it’s still terrible.

Jesus, they’re small ice-creams … surely there’s a bunch of ways they could have promoted them other than “Test Drive”.

IT’S A BLOODY ICE CREAM FOR GODS SAKE … TEST DRIVE? I DON’T THINK SO.

What about …

1/ The “depression-of-the-recession-is-making-Americans-eat-so-we’ve-launched-this-so-you-can-eat-your-troubles-away-but-not-need-expensive-medical-treatment-once-it-all-gets-better” ice cream.

3/ To you they’re small but to Bazza, they’re still bloody huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge

Hell, even “American classics made smaller” could of led to some interesting stuff [Closing shot: Tom Cruise with the voice over, “However some things are small enough already!”]

But this?

THIS????

There’s lots of reasons for this – some down to the Governments desperate attempts to keep a lid on things – so it’s reassuring to know with the swine flu that is happening on the other side of the planet, the planes and airport of HK have all leapt into action giving warnings and checking for people with symptoms via temperature cameras.

However, this leads to a question: for people coming into HK who have not been here before, does this action reassure or create fear?

Given travel agents and Governments are seemingly cancelling/advising everyone to not eat Mexican food, let alone visit the country, is HK’s proactive stance a good thing or a demonstration of a country that doesn’t want to get caught out/blamed in the future?