If you have a pet, you will probably understand.
That feeling of love that’s almost impossible to express in words.
The deep compulsion to ensure they remain happy and content.
The ability to spot the nuance in every look or sound they make and translate it into the specific action they need.
It’s a relationship. A real – but unique – relationship.
Which may explain why this note, from the musician Fiona Apple, hit so hard.
A letter to her fans about cancelling a concert so she can stay close to her poorly dog.
It’s utterly beautiful. Proper, proper beautiful.
And while some may not understand how she could come to this decision.
For others, it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Because they’re not a pet, they’re a partner.
It’s 6pm on Friday, and I’m writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I’m writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.
Here’s the thing.
I have a dog, Janet, and she’s been ill for about 2 years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She’s almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then — an adult, officially — and she was my kid.
She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face.
She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.
She’s almost 14 and I’ve never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She’s a pacifist.
Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We’ve lived in numerous houses, and joined a few makeshift families, but it’s always really been just the two of us.
She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.
She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me, all the time we recorded the last album.
The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she’s used to me being gone for a few weeks, every 6 or 7 years.
She has Addison’s Disease, which makes it more dangerous for her to travel, since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.
Despite all this, she’s effortlessly joyful & playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago. She is my best friend, and my mother, and my daughter, my benefactor, and she’s the one who taught me what love is.
I can’t come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference.
She doesn’t even want to go for walks anymore.
I know that she’s not sad about aging or dying.
Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people.
But I know she is coming close to the time where she will stop being a dog, and start instead to be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.
I just can’t leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I’m afraid she’ll die and I won’t have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.
Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes just to decide what socks to wear to bed.
But this decision is instant.
These are the choices we make, which define us. I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love & friendship.
I am the woman who stays home, baking Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable and comforted and safe and important.
I need to do my damnedest, to be there for that.
Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I’ve ever known.
When she dies.
So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and I am revelling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel. And I’m asking for your blessing.
I’ll be seeing you.
Love,
Fiona
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Craft, Creative Development, Creativity, Effectiveness, Experience
About 6 or so months ago, I interviewed one of the most successful football managers of all time. I wrote about it here.
Anyway, in our conversation, he said something that really stuck with me. Something that feels especially important in these times where organisations seem to value complicity more than experience. Specifically, experience gained and earned at the very top level.
He said this:
“Learn from winners, not players”.
It’s important to note this has nothing to do with age.
I’ve met as many brilliant young people as I have met average and old. What this is about is remembering people who have done great stuff have at least as much value [but really, way more] as those who talk – or just judge – stuff.
Which is why this slide is for my friend ‘Grizzly’ who has been thinking and experiencing this for some time. And why he would have loved the debate it ignited when I presented it as the audience was made up of award winning game designers and procurement people, hahaha.
We’ve all seen those signs where countries that don’t speak English, try to translate things into English with tragic – and sometimes hilarious – consequences.
Then there’s those signs in English speaking nations, where they’ve chosen words and/or symbols that massively undermine what they’re trying to say or represent.
But recently, on a trip to LA, I saw another angle of error.
Where the choice of words are perfectly acceptable in the home nation, but have a very different meaning somewhere else.
Case in point, the name given to this pre-school …
Morning Glory!!!
They named it ‘Morning bloody Glory’.
Jesus Christ.
Now they obviously have no idea how this is interpreted in England.
And I am sure they are a very good place of education.
And a name that reflects optimism and happiness in a city that is always sunny, makes sense.
But … but …
Morning Glory?!
Next they’ll be saying, “it’s great to be ‘up’ first thing for the day”.
Whatever … I just hope the police patrol that area especially well.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Airports, Attitude & Aptitude, Business, China, Chinese Culture, Culture, Customer Service, Empathy, Experience, Fulfillment, Individuality, Management, Planes, Prejudice, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance
So as you know, I was in China recently and when I was flying from Chengdu back to Shanghai, my plane was 5 hours late for takeoff.
While that is a pain, what made it worse was it meant we didn’t even take off till nearly midnight.
Now the good news for me is I sleep on planes.
In fact I sleep better on planes than anywhere else.
I’m fast asleep before takeoff and tend to wake up on landing … and that’s what happened to me this time, aided by the late hour.
However what was different this time was I found a package and this note next to me.
Specifically this package and note …
Apparently the crew on the plane were worried I’d wake up hungry but didn’t want to wake me up as they could see I was fast asleep and it was very late so they made up that package and wrote that note.
While I am not sure if the food I received was worthy of that much care and consideration, that level of service – despite the note being written on a sick bag, hahaha – is ‘TV ad worthy’.
China gets a bad rap for customer service, however in my experience it’s miles ahead of most other nations [which suggests it’s driven by ignorance and/or prejudice] because this small act on a China Eastern flight between Chengdu and Shanghai shows what happens when you train your people to not just blindly follow a corporate, cost-efficientprocess, but to actually and actively care about your customers.
Thank you China Eastern.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Business, Collegues, Complicity, Confidence, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Freddie, Friendship, Honesty, Individuality, Leadership, Legend, Queen, Relationships, Reputation, Respect
Once upon a time, I wrote a post about why we should be like Freddie Mercury in the boardroom.
To be honest, I also wrote about how we should be more like Freddie Mercury fullstop.
I still think that … but I also think there is another member of my favourite band we should embrace.
Not Brian May with his degrees, poodle haircut and home built guitar.
Nor drummer Roger Taylor … with his rock star smile, lifestyle and notches on the bedpost.
No, I mean the bassist … John Deacon.
On first impressions, John is a typical bass player.
Quiet.
Comfortable in the background.
Doing everything to not bring attention to himself.
Yes … I appreciate there are a few exceptions to this rule – Flea, Nikki Sixx, John Entwistle, even Level 42’s thumb slapping maestro, Mark King – but John is not one of them.
I once had him driving behind me in London and he was in a Toyota Yaris.
But behind the introverted persona was someone who was most definitely exceptional.
Not just in terms of writing some of the bands biggest hits – from Another One Bites The Dust to I Want To Break Free.
Nor do I mean in terms of still being married to his first love and having a bunch of kids who all live happily in Putney.
[His son used to have a great Youtube channel but sadly he took it all down a while ago]
No … what I mean by calling him exceptional is that he’s 10000% his own person.
Not in an arrogant rockstar way, but in his own way.
Have a look at this …
I bloody love that photo.
Love it.
Not just because it’s Queen live on stage.
Nor because Freddie is in his magnificent prancing poser phase.
But because despite being on stage, playing at deafening and blinding volume and wattage to tens of thousands of adoring fans, standing behind one of the most flamboyant and iconic rock stars of all time as – at the time of that photo – a member of the biggest band on the planet … John looks like he’s just come from his job working as an insurance salesman at a building society in Norwich.
Put simply, John didn’t give a fuck.
He loved the band – at least the majority of the time – but not enough to change who he was.
Where many would have succumbed to the pressure of being more ‘rock star’, John simply wanted to be more him.
Whatever ‘him’ was on any given day.
And what I love as much is the band didn’t give a fuck about it either.
Despite the other 3 members embracing their rock god characteristics – at least on stage – they accepted John for who he was.
Not that they could have got him to change if they tried.
Because while it has been well documented that John was a fragile soul – suffering from depression and always feeling slightly disconnected given he was the last member to join the band – John was as stubborn as a mule.
Not in terms of not listening to reason, but in terms of knowing who he was and what he believed.
At a time where the word ‘authenticity’ is banded about like it’s confetti … no one deserves that label more than John Deacon.
And while I am sure that led to all manner of tension in the band, they obviously trusted and respected him, even to the point they let him take control of the bands financial dealings … which not only resulted in them becoming multi, multi, multi millionaires, but – for a couple of years – becoming the highest paid company directors in the World.
We live in times where complicity is not just expected, but often demanded.
Where the rule of thumb is you fall in line with whatever the whim of whoever calls the shots.
But John Deacon didn’t follow that path.
Not because he was a rock n’ roll rebel … but because in his quest to be as good as he could be, he didn’t want it to come at the cost of losing who he was.
And while that may have resulted in John Deacon being one of the most underrated bass players of his time, we cannot forget it also resulted in him becoming one of the most successful musicians of all time.
And richest.
Despite never fitting in …
Be that with his choice of stage attire or the expectations of others.
Which leads to the point of this post …
Too often we feel we need to be like others to be accepted by others.
Adland is typical in this, but then so many other industries operate the same way.
It’s like group-think oppression … a clique that you feel you have to be a part of to stand a chance of being seen for yourself.
Which is mad and shit and rarely works out.
Which is why John Deacon should be a role model for us all.
Someone who never lost sight of who he was, what was important or what he expected from those around him.
Forever working hard but never taking anything for granted.
Including himself and his family.
From the outside, Queen may not come across as the poster child for ‘healthy working environment’.
And John Deacon doesn’t appear as the most natural of role models.
But as role models go – it may not be very rockstar – but it is very good advice to follow.
So wherever you are in your life or your career, be more John Deacon and find a job where they accept you like a member of Queen.