The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

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Truth Over Harmony, But Not All The Time …
January 27, 2026, 7:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Children, Colenso, Truth

One of Colenso’s beliefs is ‘truth over harmony’.

By that, it means nothing shows respect like being transparent.

That doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole, but it does mean if you know something that could/will make a tangible difference to whatever outcome you are all [supposedly] working towards – but choose not to say anything in an attempt to either keep the peace or keep things simple for you – then you’re the asshole.

This belief feeds directly into how we tell clients about how Colenso behave in relationships:

We like to challenge and we liked to be challenged.

Again, it’s not because we want to be pricks … but because we want our work to make a real difference to their ambitions.

And why am I saying this?

Well, while I could say no one embodies this attitude and approach more than kids … or how even with the best intentions, truth can sometimes be interpreted by the receiver as an insult, the reality is I just wrote it so I could post this tweet that made me laugh out loud.


Happy Monday. Or at least may it be happier than Unniemara’s.

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Why Having A Healthy Disrespect For Where You’re Supposed To Be, Can Take You To Places Where You Never Thought You Could Turn Up …

When I started in this business, 10,000 years ago, I was a pain-in-the-ass.

OK, I admit … I still am, but for different reasons these days.

Because back then, my annoying trait was driven my eagerness to learn.

Not just from the people around me, but anyone who I thought had – or was – doing something interesting.

It meant I had no boundary as to who I spoke to.

Not just in the agency, but out of it too.

It resulted in me talking to all manner of different people – regardless of their role or level – the only requirement being they had to doing something I thought was interesting.

Not because I was trying to gain favor.
Not because I wanted to earn ‘social clout’.
But because I was, as my Mum had taught me, interested in what other people were interested in … and I thought who better to look at than the people who had, or were doing, something that interested and intrigued me.

What this meant was I not only built up my context and breadth of knowledge pretty rapidly, it also meant I built connections that I may otherwise not ever get to. Not that, my goal was that, it was just a byproduct of it.

And while I definitely got this trait from my parents, at the time I just thought it was normal … something everyone did. Until I realised it wasn’t.

One day I got called into one of my bosses office and asked what the fuck I was doing.

A client had mentioned to him I’d been in touch [in a nice way] and my boss couldn’t work out for the life of him, how – or why – that had happened.

As he started telling me that I need to spend my time focused on my job rather than interrupting people from doing there’s … I told him that I was doing my job. That I’d not let anything fall through the cracks and it was at that point he inadvertently gave me one of the best lessons I’ve ever had in my career.

You see, when he realised I was meeting/chatting to all these people but still fulfilling my responsibilities, he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Worse, he knew I knew.

And that kind-of liberated me to go after anyone or anything I found interesting.

It’s how I met Paul Britton, the Forensic Profiler who brought the discipline to the UK.
It’s how I met Clotaire Rapaille, the author of The Culture Code – which has had a huge influence on my work.
It’s how I met Lee Hill … who I am incredibly grateful is still in my life as my mentor and friend.

And despite all that being decades ago, I have continued to do it throughout my career – resulting in me getting to learn and understand perspectives from International Football Managers to Sex Workers.

Or said another way …

By following what interests me rather than what is expected of me, I’ve ended up with a wonderful range of wonderful people who continue to inform, educate and advice me on what I do and how I do it.

The reason I say this is that I am pretty surprised how many people only want to engage with people of a similar level to them. Not all, admittedly … but far too many.

I don’t know if it is nerves, respect, the fear of looking like a social climber or even the bloody class system but what I can honestly say is that my ‘informants’ [as I called them in Heather Lefevre’s great book, ‘Brain Surfing] still provides me with more insight and creativity than all the frameworks, systems, social listening tools and focus groups – put together.

Which is why when people ask me what they can do to develop their skills, I tell them to not follow the words of the Linkedin pundits and gurus, but wherever their curiosity takes them or intrigues them. Because if you only play where you’re comfortable, you’ll never see everything you want is on the other side of it.

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Forget Emperors New Clothes, It’s The Egg Salad Salesmen You Have To Worry About …

As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.

So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.

How awesome is it?

I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.

The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.

You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.

Of technological advancement.

Of commercial optimisation.

A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.

Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.

Except it wasn’t was it?

Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.

Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.

Not even in Japan.

And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.

Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.

Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?

Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.

An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.

Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.

Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.

Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.

Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]

Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.

Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.

However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.

I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.

We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.

Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.

Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.

Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.

The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.

Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.

Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.

Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.

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Trust Is Saying Yes To Things You Don’t Like Or Appreciate But You Know The Person You’re Dealing With Is An Expert In It.

I love this clip from South Park about how they think Netflix works.

Sure, it’s taking the piss out of the streaming gods – suggesting their quality control is all over the place because they say yes to every pitch – but in some ways, I can’t help but feel it would be brilliant if more clients embraced this approach.

Now before you think I’m mad, there is a reason for this.

About 14,000 years ago, I wrote a post saying clients should say yes more often and agencies should say no. The main reason for this was I kept hearing companies suggest their agencies didn’t understand their business. That they were more interested in what they wanted to make rather than what their clients needed.

They’re wrong … because in my experience, agencies absolutely want to do the best things for their clients.

That they have different ways to achieve their clients needs and goals is a good thing.

More than that, it’s literally what they are all about.

But right now it seems more and more clients are trying to dictate and mandate work … when, with the upmost respect, many haven’t got the faintest idea what good work is, how to get it, and how to get their audience to be interested and motivated in what they’ve got to say.

Now to be fair, this is not entirely their fault.

It doesn’t help many agencies have sold creativity so far down the river, that the only thing they care about is the head hours they can sell. It doesn’t help many companies only enable their people to say ‘no’, rather than ‘yes’. And it doesn’t help company procurement departments have an outsized influence on the approach and people their agency gets to work with – which directly impacts the work that gets produced – which is why you can see how this often turns into a complete shit show.

But that still doesn’t explain why some clients think they know more about creativity than their agency.

Which is why I think the ‘for profit’ research agencies they surround themselves with have to shoulder some of the blame. Part of that is because supporting what the client thinks and wants is in their personal interests. And part of that is because many of them make the mistake of judging work by clarity of message rather than enjoyment of content.

To emphasise this last point, there’s a brilliant story about Spielberg when he was starting Dreamworks.

You see despite him and his partners being some of the most successful producers and directors of all time, their external investors wanted everything to go through focus groups to ensure everything was geared for success.

Spielberg said no.

He said he made films that were true to his vision, not other people’s.

In fact he was so insistent on this point that the whole deal was nearly off until Spielberg agreed to do it on the condition that any focus group was based around answering just one question and he had the right to decide what to do with the answer, once he’d got it.

They asked him what was the question.

“Were you entertained?”

That’s it.

One question.

One simple question … but arguably the most pertinent question.

Just to be clear, I am not saying research isn’t important.

It is. It’s vital.

In fact I love research. I love what it can uncover and reveal and help you understand.

But it shouldn’t be seen as the ultimate judge and jury.

It shouldn’t be about definitive answers.

The funny thing is I often find company research people understand this very well. They have incredible knowledge while also being very self aware. An openness to explore and consider. Where the most blinkered and stubborn thinking happens is when working with external organisations who harbour ambitions to be strategic partners. Where their goal is to control rather than inform.

Not of course, not everyone is like that. There’s many amazing companies out there … but there’s also a bunch whose commercial interests end up accelerating the disconnection of brands with truth and potential rather than enabling it.

But I digress.

The point of this post – and that South Park clip – is in the quest to not make any mistake or risk upsetting anyone – often their own board of directors – companies end up creating work that says nothing and does little. Meanwhile, with Netflix actively looking for the next big, they’re saying yes rather than no … and while that leads to a lot of stuff that may not perform, their commitment to pushing and exploring means they also have a lot of epic. Which has created a lot of longterm value.

Or said another way, Netflix see the commercial value of trust, creativity and exploration.

And while I know the two can’t really be compared, I’m going there … not just to reinforce the point that self-awareness is commercial intelligence, but because if brands want people to love them, it might be good if they did stuff for them, not about themselves. And it might be good if more agencies got back to valuing creativity rather than just saying they do.

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