Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Childhood, Dad, Death, Family, Fear, Home, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, Nottingham, Otis, Relationships, Respect
I’m not back.
Not properly.
But today is the 24th anniversary of my Dad passing away and I couldn’t – and wouldn’t – let this pass without mention.
24 years means I’m fast approaching him not being in my life for half my life.
And yet he is always there.
Maybe not always in the spotlight of my life, but always on the stage.
A warm presence.
A secure presence.
And sometimes, a surprising presence.
You see there are times where Dad appears seemingly out of nowhere.
From deep in the shadows to centrestage of the light.
Anything can trigger this.
A song.
A place.
A situation.
But the most common of all is a pair of eyes.
Specifically these pair of eyes …
As the title of this post reveals, those eyes belong to Anthony Hopkins.
And while the life of him and my father could not be further apart in so many ways, his eyes could easily belong to my Dad.
Not just for their shade or shape, but their character.
They are welcoming. They are warm. Caressed by lines around each eye that shows they have seen and they have lived. A journey that has led them through fields of pain, fear, laughter and love. And while you’re left in no doubt they have the power to make you feel fear or guilt with just a glance … that the lines around the eyes curve upwards, reassures you their resting condition is to let you in.
And that’s what my Dad gave me.
The power to always be let in. Even when I disappointed him.
Yes, there were times later in his life – when he was ill – that became a little harder, but even that was just temporary.
Because his main focus was for me to feel his love and support not his fear or wrath.
And his eyes were his way of reinforcing that.
I still remember a moment towards the end …
Dad had had many strokes by that time which had robbed him of his ability to talk and walk.
One day I got a call in Sydney – where I lived – telling me he’d been rushed to hospital and may only have 24 hours left to live.
I caught the first flight home and after a traumatic journey from the other side of the planet, I was with him … relieved he was alive, devastated he may die at any time.
At some point Mum and I were told we should get rest and go home.
Their house was literally 10 minutes from the hospital and they assured us they’d ring if anything happened.
Reluctantly we agreed and as I was saying goodnight, we looked at each other.
A firm, focused gaze into each others eyes.
I can still feel the intensity of that moment.
How the feeling of love was almost breathtaking in its power.
Because I knew exactly what those eyes looking back at me were saying.
What those eyes looking back at me were saying for him.
He loved me.
He was proud of me.
He was so glad I was there.
But it was even more than that …
It was him trying to take in my face.
Every line. Every mark. Every detail.
To ensure he remembered how I looked in case what we both knew was going to happen, happened while we were apart.
I remember how I felt my eyes were overflowing with water as I looked down on him in his hospital bed.
Our hands gripped so tight with me kissing his over and over again.
Holding back the tears in an attempt to express what I wanted to say.
That feeling you’re trying to lift a huge weight in an attempt to not break down.
Massive pauses between words to not let any cracks take hold.
And I managed it.
I told him, “I know … I know … and I love you so, so much my dear Dad”
Then there was a pause as I wondered if I should finish what I wanted to say.
And then I decided I would, just in case …
“And you have to be here tomorrow. You have to be Dad. Please be here”
And as we walked out of that ward, with me constantly turning around to meet his gaze with my eyes, I hoped that was not the last time I would ever see him.
It wasn’t.
Despite us going through a similar rollercoaster 3 months later … a time where he would sadly not be able to find the strength to yet again surprise his Doctors, Nurses, wife and son … he did then.
And I still remember how we knew he was feeling stronger from the moment we walked into that ward.
Because my dad – that wonderful orator – had mastered another skill. This time, the ability to talk … through his eyes.
A million words and emotions passed perfectly through a look from his beautiful, blue, kind, warm eyes.
And while you may think that when I see Anthony Hopkins I get upset, you’d be wrong.
Because when he appears on the screen – even when I’m least expecting it – I am grateful.
Because he doesn’t reinforce the loss, he lets me feel like I’m close to my Dad again.
My wonderful, warm, supportive Dad.
Which after 24 years apart, is a gift.
So thank you Mr Hopkins.
And thank you Dad.
I miss you.
Give Mum a kiss from me.
Filed under: America, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, Comment, Confidence, Corporate Evil, Culture, Cunning, Daily Mail, Egovertising, England, Fear, Government, Honesty, Imposter Syndrome, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Politics, Professionalism, Relationships, Relevance, Research, Resonance, Social Divide, Trust, Truth
Recently I was reading an article on Brexit when I came across a comment that stopped me in my tracks.
The reason for it is that in a few words – literally a few – it not only highlighted the issue with many of the shortsighted fools who voted for leaving the European Union – and likely voted for the election of Boris Johnson and Liz Truss – but also could be used to explain the decline of so many companies, institutions and individuals.
This is it …
What a perfectly constructed sentence.
A devastating set of words that places you perfectly in a corner you can’t get out of.
It’s almost a Hollywood movie line it’s so crafted in its underlying viciousness.
But of course, the people it challenges won’t accept it.
They will continue to refuse to acknowledge their complicity in the situation millions now face.
Because as I’ve written before, people has difficulty understanding something when their credibility and reputation depends on them not understanding something.
It’s why they will continue to cast blame on everyone else.
Why they will continue to claim the opposition are more dangerous than the government they voted in … the government that has brought an entire nation to its knees.
But let’s be honest, the reason for their attitude is even uglier than not wanting to own up to what they contributed to. Because for all their claims of wanting a ‘better Britain’ … the real reason behind their choice was to create a barrier between them and people they think are beneath them.
A way to feel socially, morally, professionally superior to those around them, while conveniently choosing to ignore they were either given great advantage from birth over the vast majority of people or seek to mitigate their situation by blaming everyone else for what they have not achieved, despite starting from greater advantage.
I get it. It’s kind-of human nature. It’s also the unspoken truth of democracy – where the reality is we tend to vote for what works for you rather than what’s right for the nation.
Of course the unspoken truth is still better than the alternative … however given the way politics and business are increasingly allowing spin, vitriol and lies, it seems we’re seeing ‘post truth’ as an accepted and embraced business strategy.
And that’s why the independent voice has never been so important.
Not just in the public domain, but within organisations, governments and individual groups.
Not to attack, destroy or dethrone – as is the current trend – but to protect.
To ensure the people making decisions – or the people asking to decide on the options – are aware of the range of possibilities and outcomes that could occur rather than just blindly following a blinkered promise of what will happen.
Not delivered with hyperbole or exaggeration, but with quiet, informed context and facts … delivered by an individual or organisation without political affiliation and respected for their independence.
It doesn’t mean it will stop things like Brexit happening, but it will ensure people who knowingly bend the truths to suit their own agenda or were deliberately ignorant to the choices they made are held to account. Because without that, we carry on down this sorry path where governments, organisations or individuals can choose to ignore previous choices they made, ignore the passing of time that changes the context of everything and ignore the realities others may have caught up and left us behind.
I am under no illusion that the truth hurts, but delusion damages us forever.
How appropriate this years halloween falls on a Monday.
Surely there is nothing scarier than that?
6 letters, a lifetime of fear.
However, I’m a generous fellow so I’m going to help you get even more in the mood by giving you something to watch.
15 of the supposed most ‘scary videos’ on Youtube.
And while that may not sound very inviting, let me tell you a story about the horror movie director, Wes Craven.
Years ago – while working on Sony – I got to interview him as part of our ‘feel’ strategy.
He was very generous with his time and opinion and left me with this gem as regards how he sees what he does.
“I make people feel alive by scaring them half to death”.
So rather than hate me for scaring you with this video, thank me for making you feel alive.
On a monday.
You’re welcome.
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Corporate Evil, Crap Campaigns In History, Creativity, Daily Fail, Fear
There’s a narrative that to be rich, you have to be smart.
Or very, very lucky.
Whether that viewpoint is true or not is probably more an individual take than a general view. But what isn’t talked about very often is how success can make you stupid.
The comedian Billy Connolly once said the world smells of fresh paint, because wherever the Queen walks [RIP] … 20 feet in front of her is someone painting the walls white.
Or said another way, wherever successful people go, ‘yes people’ follow.
Never did I see that more in action than when I lived in America.
OH MY GOD.
The ‘manage-up’ attitude was incredible to witness.
Basic thoughts were met with an ever increasing amount of fawning responses …
“That’s a brilliant idea”.
“Genius”.
“You’re so clever”.
And all this resulted in was leaders thinking they were Gods … walking on clouds thinking the world was looking up and worshiping them … pushing confidence in their own voice to greater and greater levels, so they spouted even more ridiculous viewpoints that they packaged-up as next-level Yoda statements for their entourage to fake swoon over.
I say this because I recently saw this …
WHAT THE HELL?
I mean, what does ‘the smartest praline in the World’ even mean?
Does it have Alexa inside them?
Or maybe the new iWatch Ultra?
Or did they get Einstein’s body, crush it up and placed fragments into each nut.
Seriously, what the hell are they going on about???
Well it gets worse.
No, really.
Because when you watch the ad, ‘the smartest praline in the world’ translates to the ability to be a sexpest on public transport … I kid you not.
The good news is this ad is apparently old … but it still perfectly demonstrates nothing can make you more egotistically stupid, than being successful.
Putin’s evil acts in the Ukraine have obviously repulsed the World – even though, the World has contributed to this situation by their inaction over many years.
However it is the rise of conversations relating to nuclear war that has got everyone terrified.
I don’t mind admitting I have found it very triggering and it’s the most fearful I’ve ever been about another World War.
Of course, compared to the poor people in the Ukraine, it’s nothing – and that’s why they need our support and our commitment to making our governments responsible for righting wrongs and dealing with the Putin situation that actively enabled.
Nothing highlights the craziness of the times than this headline:
That this newspaper headline can exist again – in 2022 – is mindblowling. Almost as mind-blowing as the idea anyone can be ‘well prepared’ for a nuclear attack.
But while this ‘news’ should have put me in a terrified state, it actually managed to raise a smile because the reality is London goes to pieces when there’s an inch of snow so to suggest it could deal with an all out nuclear attack is actually hilarious.
So thank you Sadiq Khan for the smiles and fuck you Putin for the fear.