The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Honour In Loss …

I hate losing.

Absolutely hate it.

But I also understand there are benefits to it.

Well, if you lost despite giving your all.

Because losing is a lesson.

It forces you to take a long hard look at yourself.

What you did.
What you didn’t.
What you can improve.
What you need to improve.
What you can take forward with you.

And while there’s the famous Vince Lombardi quote:

“Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a loser”

… I’ve found those who take loss on the chin aren’t necessarily doing it because they don’t care, they’re doing it because they do.

But recently I found incredible quote from Muhammad Ali.

A new way to look at the role of losing … and I love it.

What a way to own loss …

Turning the narrative from despair to character.

Changing judgement into inspiration.

And to do that when you’ve lost the ‘fight of the century’ … incredible.

But then Ali always knew the role and responsibility he held.

He may not have wanted it, but he was not going to close the door on those who needed it.

Needed him.

Needed his direction, inspiration and articulation.

Needed to know there was a chance of a better life than the one others wanted them to have.

Which is why it makes everything even more perfect that he then went on to win that fight.

Twice.

Because honour in losing was just preparation for his honour is victory.

In a World of white, toxic machismo … how we could do with Ali’s majesty right now.

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Career Lessons From My Dad. And A 97 Year Old.

When I was about to begin working for the first time, my Dad sat me down and said, “be generous, be kind, but never be a pushover”.

What he was basically telling me was I should always listen and learn … but I shouldn’t blindly follow what someone has told me without asking questions and exploring or voicing my own thoughts and ideas.

Nothing reinforced this than my first ever client meetings.

I was 19 and in a room with very senior and experienced clients.

After it happened, my boss called me in to ‘have a chat’.

He wanted to know why I’d been so quiet throughout the meeting when normally – as my Dad had told me – I kept asking questions as I wanted to learn more and to start to form my own perspective on things.

I told him I was worried I’d say something stupid so felt it best to keep my mouth shut … and that’s when he gave me 3 pieces of advice that not only changed my career, but that I pass on to anywho who feels in a similar situation.

1. When you’re young you’re not expected to have answers so you should exploit the chance to ask whatever you want while you’ve got it.

2. You’ll find out if your views are stupid or valid by speaking up … and you’ll find out from the most qualified people in the room, which is worth its weight in gold.

3. Remember you were hired because we believe in you. So while you might not always be right, we trust any question or opinion you have comes from the right place and with a desire to be useful and make a positive difference.

And while I’d like to think that the response I got is what everyone would get, you just have to read the stories on Corporate Gaslighting to realise what I was being encouraged to do – by my boss and Dad – is not what many are encouraged to do.

In fact, I’d go as far as to say in many cases, it’s not even tolerated.

You’re called a trouble maker.

Not a team player.

A maverick.

Which, of course, is all kinds of rubbish [not to mention debilitating in terms of personal development, standards and reputation and quality of work] but it seems to be what a lot of modern corporate culture often expects – no, scrap that – demands.

But there is good news.

Because if you find yourself in this exact position, you can either read this post I wrote years ago about how to be Freddie Mercury in the boardroom orread the letter below and see how 97 year old Mary Grant proves it’s never to late to change.

We never needed more Mary’s.

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Devious Strategy Is Brilliant Strategy …

I’ve been a huge fan of what I call ‘devious strategy’.

It’s the art of giving people what they want but in a way that delivers what is in your best interests.

I first recognised it in China when I saw how the Government dealt with issues they faced.

Rather than simply dictate rules – which are often almost impossible to enforce – they created systems that looked – and often were – generous, but were also self-serving.

Case in point, collecting taxes.

To ensure small business – especially restaurants – declared the full amount of their earnings, they created a scheme where customers were more likely to ask for a receipt. They chose this method because they knew to provide a receipt, the retailer had to put the bill through the till … and the moment that happened, revenue would be registered and they would know what was the right amount of tax to collect.

And how did they get customers to ask for a receipt?

By making it like a mini lottery card.

Basically receipts have a little part at the top you can scratch off and find out if you’ve won money. Because no one is going to say no to the chance of free cash, they increasingly ask for receipts and – voila – the government increases the amount of taxable revenue they get.

Genius.

There’s so many examples of the Chinese Government using psychology to solve problems in ingenious ways, but another example I love is from the actor Daniel Radcliffe.

I wrote about this a few years ago, but in short, Daniel was fed up his photo was being taken – and sold – by the paparazzi every night as he left the theatre where he was performing.

So to counter them, he were the same clothes every night as he left the venue.

After a few days, the paparazzi realised no one would buy their photos given he looked the same in every one and so – despite giving them what they wanted – Daniel got what he wanted, which was the paparazzi leaving him alone.

Brilliant.

It doesn’t take long to see a ton of other examples from this to this … but the reason for this post is because of what’s going on with Twitter.

Since Evil Elon took over, he has increasingly been making the platform a place of hate.

For all his claims of ‘free speech’, it’s obvious he only cares about what he thinks is right.

Which is why I recently used this slide in a talk I was giving to Elon fanboys.

It was worth it, if only to watch their faces try to work out what I was saying …

Which is why sometimes, the best strategy to take on challenges is not facing them head-on … nor finding ways to navigate around them … but becoming their best friend to mess with the natural order of things.

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Is Adland Turning Into Liz Hurley. Or Dan Bilzerian?

As many of you know, I HATE the band, ‘The Smiths’.

Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.

However, I recently saw an old article from their guitarist – Johnny Marr – that I really like.

I should say that I’m not saying this because he also now hates the racist prick that is Mr Miserable Morrissey … or that he lives in Portland and has been known to play with some old W+K’ers … but because I absolutely love the last line of this quote:

Maybe I like it because I’m reacting to the many people in the industry who are achieving acclaim for not actually doing anything other than repeatedly spouting very deliberate, very self-serving soundbites … or said another way, for being famous for being famous … but the idea of someone working hard at something for the sheer desire to be good at something seems a relic of the past.

I know, I sound the grumpiest of grumpy old men.

The reality is I don’t begrudge anyone who is doing what they can to make a living.

Even if it’s utterly strategic and contrived in its motivation.

And I also know there’s people out there who do have a ‘work hard to just be better at something I want to be better at’ work ethic … people like Maya Thompson and Joel Goodall to name but 2.

But the bit that bothers me is the industry is placing so much value on people who shout stuff rather than do stuff that it is actively encouraging more people to behave this way.

Being good at something – just because it feels good to be good at something – seems to becoming more and more of an outdated concept.

In some ways I get it.

Just because you enjoy something doesn’t mean you’ll be good at it. Or good to the level that it could serve you well. So why would you put in all that effort when it may not move you forward?

I also appreciate I am the last person who should be talking about this.

When I learnt the guitar, I did it because I wanted to be a rockstar.

Sure, I also wanted to write songs and play them with my bandmates, because I loved doing that … but the ‘benefits’ of stardom were definitely a major influence in my decision to pick up the 6 string.

I used to look at old guys playing in bands [ie: people who are my current age] as pathetic.

I used to think they were hanging on to dreams they’d never achieve and it was all a bit sad.

But now I’m at their age, I realise it’s no longer about that, it’s about pure enjoyment.

That regardless of what might – or probably might not – happen, the joy of doing something you love, like and are quite good at, is fulfilling enough.

Sure, there are better guitarists out there than me.

Guitarists who will achieve success, money and fame … but that’s OK, because just being able to play to a good standard is OK with me.

It’s a demonstration that I committed myself to something.

Didn’t take the easy option.

Didn’t give up.

It’s the fact I can play the guitar that makes me happy.

Of course it’s nice if others recognise that, but that isn’t important.

Neither is the case that a long time ago, I played guitar for a few semi-famous people.

In fact, given I no longer play for any semi-famous people, you could argue I’ve got worse … except I don’t think that way. Not just because so much of that is down to luck, but because I am happy that I found something that gave me – and gives me – pleasure through a constant feeling of challenge and achievement and that is not to be underestimated.

A gift that has lasted 38 years and counting.

Throughout my life I have met people who have planned their life so well.

They knew their next step … they knew the skills they needed to acquire to get where they wanted to go … they worked everything out in excruciating detail.

I used to sort-of envy these people.

I used to wonder what was wrong with me because I sort of bumbled along, choosing things that interested me rather than necessarily rewarded me.

Please don’t think I am claiming to be a saint, but I can say that money was never the driving factor in my choices – except once, which led to one of the most soul destroying periods of my life which reinforced that my way of making decisions – however stupid – was perfect for me.

In fact, I realise more and more that what works for me is less about efficiency of progress and more about emotional satisfaction.

And that’s why I love that Johnny Marr quote, because he captured that while people who have gained the highest job title or have been put on the highest hype pedestal are good … the real stars are the folk who simply get on with what they do.

Who take pride in a job well done because that’s the standards they operate by.

Not for progress or cash incentives, but because they believe that’s what’s right.

They view it as a testimony to their hard work and experience.

That being good at something is – to a large extent – good enough.

Sure, some of these people also sit at the top tables of companies … but most tend to be people who let other people shine through their abilities at doing something well.

I am not one of these people.

I want to be.

I try to be.

But I’m not.

I write a blog and court attention.

I try to do it for the right reasons – I genuinely do – but, let’s be honest, I also do it because for some mad fucking reason, it’s also become quite good for my career.

To be honest, that’s pretty sad and pathetic.

And that’s why I am so glad I play the guitar.

Because while my reasons to pick it up may have been flawed, it was the sheer joy of wanting to get better at something that gave me sheer joy that kept me going with it.

I hope everyone finds that thing.

We will all be better for it.

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Big Enough To Matter, But Not Big Enough To Count …

Recently I was reading an article on Brexit when I came across a comment that stopped me in my tracks.

The reason for it is that in a few words – literally a few – it not only highlighted the issue with many of the shortsighted fools who voted for leaving the European Union – and likely voted for the election of Boris Johnson and Liz Truss – but also could be used to explain the decline of so many companies, institutions and individuals.

This is it …

What a perfectly constructed sentence.

A devastating set of words that places you perfectly in a corner you can’t get out of.

It’s almost a Hollywood movie line it’s so crafted in its underlying viciousness.

But of course, the people it challenges won’t accept it.

They will continue to refuse to acknowledge their complicity in the situation millions now face.

Because as I’ve written before, people has difficulty understanding something when their credibility and reputation depends on them not understanding something.

It’s why they will continue to cast blame on everyone else.

Why they will continue to claim the opposition are more dangerous than the government they voted in … the government that has brought an entire nation to its knees.

But let’s be honest, the reason for their attitude is even uglier than not wanting to own up to what they contributed to. Because for all their claims of wanting a ‘better Britain’ … the real reason behind their choice was to create a barrier between them and people they think are beneath them.

A way to feel socially, morally, professionally superior to those around them, while conveniently choosing to ignore they were either given great advantage from birth over the vast majority of people or seek to mitigate their situation by blaming everyone else for what they have not achieved, despite starting from greater advantage.

I get it. It’s kind-of human nature. It’s also the unspoken truth of democracy – where the reality is we tend to vote for what works for you rather than what’s right for the nation.

Of course the unspoken truth is still better than the alternative … however given the way politics and business are increasingly allowing spin, vitriol and lies, it seems we’re seeing ‘post truth’ as an accepted and embraced business strategy.

And that’s why the independent voice has never been so important.

Not just in the public domain, but within organisations, governments and individual groups.

Not to attack, destroy or dethrone – as is the current trend – but to protect.

To ensure the people making decisions – or the people asking to decide on the options – are aware of the range of possibilities and outcomes that could occur rather than just blindly following a blinkered promise of what will happen.

Not delivered with hyperbole or exaggeration, but with quiet, informed context and facts … delivered by an individual or organisation without political affiliation and respected for their independence.

It doesn’t mean it will stop things like Brexit happening, but it will ensure people who knowingly bend the truths to suit their own agenda or were deliberately ignorant to the choices they made are held to account. Because without that, we carry on down this sorry path where governments, organisations or individuals can choose to ignore previous choices they made, ignore the passing of time that changes the context of everything and ignore the realities others may have caught up and left us behind.

I am under no illusion that the truth hurts, but delusion damages us forever.

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