Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Cliches, Clients, Collaboration, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Conformity, Consultants, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Diversity, Effectiveness, Efficiency, Egovertising, Emotion, Empathy, Entertainment, Experience, Fake Attitude, Focus Groups, Food For Thought, Fulfillment, Independence, Influencers, Integrity, Leadership, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Practice, Marketing Science, Mediocrity, Perspective, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Popularity, Professionalism, Provocative, Purpose, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect, Strategy, Technology, Toxic Positivity, Work
I know, that’s quite the title isn’t it.
Some would even say it’s ‘clickbait’.
Well, while I readily admit it’s slightly exaggerated, hang in there …
So years ago, Jill rang me to tell me she’d discovered Otis – who was about 4 years old back then – had made a shopping list of things he wanted to order on Amazon through Alexa.
Loads of stuff.
Fortunately for us, this included a range of items even Amazon can’t source.
Stuff such as: Eyeballs … Polar Bears … “Poo Poos” … and countless other weird shit his mind decided would be fun to own.
Putting aside the fact this proved he was most definitely my son, hearing his little voice recite all the things that were on his ‘ownership bucket list’ was wonderful, which is why we have never deleted it.
Not just so we can forever relive his childhood curiosity, but because it will be brilliant to play it when he has his 21st birthday – hahaha.
I say this because I recently read another evil genius use – or should I say, abuse – of Alexa.
This.
Why the hell had I never thought of doing this before?
On the positive, it has shown how mature I have become over the years. On the negative, it has highlighted how I am a groupie for mischief because you can be sure-as-hell I will be finding ways to do this to people from here on in. No wonder the guys at Q-Prime called me ‘immune to maturity’.
And while you may shake your head and call me a ‘sad bastard’ for wanting to do this, think of it as an act of revenge against the tech-bro boys.
Because as much as Alexa may have many uses and benefits … it has also fucked humanity. Teaching us to expect instant gratification for whatever we want, whenever we want it.
No moment for pause.
No time for consideration.
No appreciation of nuance.
Where the only thing that matters – and you are judged on – is the speed of the response.
It’s probably why so many brands love influencers.
Not simply because of their audience.
Not simply because of their popularity.
But because they will say EXACTLY what they want … without challenge, opinion or rearticulation.
I don’t blame the influencer for this, because not only are they making bank out of it, why should they give a shit … for them, the relationship is purely transactional and what they’re selling is access, not authenticity.
But I tell you who should care …
Clients.
But in these days where the main topic of conversation seems to be about ‘shouting at scale’ – read: believing media is way more important than working with people who know what to say and how to say it – is it any surprise that despite spending over US$1 TRILLION dollars on advertising last year, the industry feels like one homogenous, barren contrived-as-fuck blob?
Or as a client of mine recently said, “we’re past the brand building age and now in the brand shrinking era”.
I get instant answers are convenient.
I appreciate having people push back on you can be a pain.
But we need to get back to normalizing the value of objectivity.
Because the point of it is not to frustrate, but to stop you shouting into an echo chamber and building something that people helps people become something.
__________________________________________________________________
Finally – as if it being Friday wasn’t good enough – I am away again for 11 days.
ELEVEN!!!
However it’s not all good news because if you’re in Perth, Western Australia … then Paris, France … then Beijing, China … I’m going to be in your hood so watch out.
Actually, it’s even worse for the people in Perth because I’m going to be shouting swearwords at the brilliant State Of Social conference.
That’s right, the wonderful, generous, kind idiots have invited me again … which means some people just never learn from their mistakes.
So have a good weekend/week. Unless you’re in Perth, Paris or Beijing.
See you around the 3rd Sept.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Complicity, Confidence, Conformity, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Frameworks, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Science, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
The last 2 posts of this week have been pretty heavy … or, even angry.
And I make no apologies for that when I see how the talent in our industry are being undermined by people who only care about themselves than elevating the real value of what we do.
But even I need a rest from it, which is why I thought I’d talk about this …
This is the window display of a shop near the Colenso office.
Now I know they say New Zealand is 20 years behind the rest of the world but even then, it’s mind-blowing this is still up.
I mean, look at it?
It’s to even the overly sexualized image, it’s how fucking rubbish it is.
Like an outtake from this old Hagen Diaz ice cream ad by BBH, putting aside the production quality of this spot FROM 1992, is still better than this suntanning bullshit …
On one hand I’m almost impressed, because it takes a lot of delusional confidence to use this image, and while I get that I ‘noticed it’, that doesn’t mean it’s smart. And that’s where a lot of people go wrong with creativity – thinking that anything that stands out means it’s justifiable. Because while there are moments where ‘shock’ has a strategic rationale, it loses its value when [1] it’s for something no one gives a fuck about because it’s pure superficiality and [2] when every other fucker is adopting the same approach, because then you’re not standing out – just blending in.
Creativity is far more about smartness and sharpness than blatant attempts at shock value … but in the hands of those who don’t know or care what creativity can do – or be – for them, you end up with shit like this.
Or the Heinz/Heineken bullshit collab.
The thing they marketed as ‘the collab you’ve been waiting for’ – hahahahahaha, yeah right.
Of course I appreciate some people will read this and say I don’t know what I’m talking about, to which I will ask who is saying that.
Because I am pretty certain the majority of them will be people who’ve never made any actual creative work, let alone anything of note.
Work can be powerful, differentiated and impactful in a whole host of ways … starting with knowing the people you’re specifically talking to.
And that’s the problem, too many companies have no idea who they’re talking to, so try to talk to everyone.
Which is why you end up with that ketchup beer bullshit – or worse – that Maxwell House disaster.
Don’t get me wrong, I love causing mischief as much as the next guy. Probably more.
And I have probably done more of it than most … including some utter disasters, including the infamous ‘KitKat Royal Break’ nightmare.
But as I said, great creativity is inherently smart, sharp and surprising – rather than just playing the ‘superficial shock’ card – which is why whenever I am in this situation, I always remember something the great Rupert Howell – no slouch in provocative approaches – once said to me:
“Robert. One of the most important lessons to learn is ‘just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.
Reinforcing why we need more people educating the industry on ‘taste and trouble’ rather than how to blindly follow a framework that has zero nuance, understanding or space for context, category or audience.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apple, Attitude & Aptitude, Auckland, Brand, Brand Suicide, Clients, Clothes, Communication Strategy, Content, Context, Craft, Crap Campaigns In History, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Design, Details, Effectiveness, Egovertising, Emotion, Empathy, Entertainment, Fans, Fashion, Film, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Science, Media, Mediocrity, Metallica, Netflix, New Zealand, Premium, Privilege, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Respect, Standards, Steve Jobs
For 50 years, I never dressed particularly fashionably.
I had a ‘style’, but it was never one people looked at and thought, “I want to dress like that”.
Questionable t-shirts, ripped jeans and a pair of birkies tend to have that reaction.
Part of this is because growing up, I was never exposed to anything ‘fancy’. Despite my Mum being Italian and going to Italy a lot … my version of designer clothing was stuff from Burton’s and C&A and nothing more.
But over the years, I got more and more exposed to the high-end fashion houses.
Projects with Prada and Chanel introduced me to people, stories and experiences that taught me there was far more to who they were than big prices and even bigger pretentiousness. But even that was not enough to convince me this was something for me.
Hell, I still remember the utter shock I felt when I heard a mate tell me they’d spent 70 quid on a t-shirt.
Sure, this was a 1000 years ago, but back then I didn’t know how that was even possible.
T-shirts were 3 for a few quid from Asda so what on earth could justify 70 pounds for a single tee???
And that was how things carried on for decades until 2 events happened in my life:
I got healthy and I started working for the most successful and influential luxury and street-fashion investor on the planet.
And with those 2 things, everything changed …
I got to go behind the scenes of the highest level of the industry.
I got to talk to the creative directors of the houses and labels who define global fashion.
I got to meet the people who create, curate and craft the experiences that define how fashion makes us feel.
But most of all, (1) I could now actually fit in their clothes and (2) my client sent me shitloads of them for free.
Of course, I appreciate how lucky I am for that – and I massively appreciate that they were doing it to ‘keep encouraging me on my health journey’. But – and I say this with utter love and respect for them – I can’t help the real reason is because they didn’t want me turning up to their big meetings and fancy events dressed like a trainwreck. What maybe triggered this was the time I found myself sitting next to Phoebe Philo, ex-creative director of Celine and founder of her own label, who – on seeing my t-shirt, featuring a cat logo – said:
“I love this, who is it by?”
To which I replied:
“My son made it, and that’s our cat”.
To be fair, she was brilliant but I can’t help but imagine she was also thinking, “who the fuck is this nutter I’m next to?”
Bit like the time I was in the lift with members of the Prada family.
They were – literally – the best dressed people I had ever seen in my entire life.
Me? I was wearing ripped jeans, some Nike’s and a hoodie probably from Asda.
Again, they were kind, warm and welcoming – and never once did I feel judged, in fact the opposite – but it was not long after that I started receiving a lot of fancy clothes – hahaha.
But the point of this post is not that I am more fashionably dressed person than I’ve ever been in my life.
Nor is it that I am one of the luckiest bastards on the planet.
No, it’s that the last few years have completely changed my perspective of the industry.
Where once I may have just seen it as pricey and poncy, I now have a deep appreciation, understanding and respect it..
The creativity, the craft, the inspiration, the statements, the history, the details, the obsession.
Put simply, the belief that EVERY detail matters, no matter how big or small.
Steve Jobs once talked about the importance of ‘painting behind the fence’ – the belief that even if no one ever sees or recognizes the care and consideration you have put into your work, you know and that matters – and in many ways, he could have been describing the luxury fashion industry.
You only has to watch the Netflix Documentary ‘7 Days’ – specifically the episode about Chanel’s couture catwalk show – and you’ll see how much thought goes into how every single detail is presented.
Not simply because image is important to them, but because they want to honour the work they have created.
Make sure it is represented, seen and felt exactly as intended and created.
It is a similar approach Metallica have to their music.
It’s why they bought the best vinyl printing plants in the World.
It’s why they invested in the best live concert sound-system in the World.
It’s why they own the rights to all the music they create and have ever created.
It’s not ego. It’s not hyping. It’s about ensuring they honour the work they’ve made so everyone experiences it exactly as intended, versus letting someone else determine that.
So where the fuck is this all going?
Well, it’s because recently I saw this.
Yep, it’s a billboard for the movie Devil Wears Prada 2.
BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT IMAGE???
How is a movie centered around the world of luxury fashion and media using such a badly designed, stretched and distorted billboard like that?!
Looking online, I can tell you that’s not the official image – at least as far as I can tell – plus I should point out the image has accentuated the lines of the digital billboard, which weren’t visible to the human eye.
But that aside, the image used looks like someone at the local distributor, media agency or billboard company decided, for reasons I don’t understand, to create – or adapt – their own version of the official artwork; the result of which is a visual that makes Devil Wears Prada 2 seems more Poundland than Prada.
Which highlights two very important reminders:
1. Everything communicates who you are and what you value.
2. For the best result, make sure all who work for you – or with you –know who you are and what you value.
I’m not saying price or speed doesn’t matter, of course it does … but what price does sloppiness, misunderstanding or a need-for-speed end up costing?
And to those who say that doesn’t matter, because no one cares … I say this in return.
Not only do you not understand marketing …
Not only do you not care about your company …
You sure as shit don’t understand your customers.
Which gives us one final thing to remember …
For all the systems, processes and marketing practice methodologies you can use … if you forget who its for and what its for, then you’re truly wasting your money.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Business, Comment, Consultants, Corporate Evil, Corporate Gaslighting, Culture, Data, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Science, Money, Reputation, Research, Respect, Srircha
3 years ago, I wrote about the amazing story of Sriracha sauce.
How it is a testimony to belief, standards and stubbornness.
If you didn’t read it, you should – especially as the brand, right now, is suffering badly.
Now you may think this is where I say I was wrong …
That I mistook a moment of success for a story of sustainable excellence.
But you’d be wrong … because while the brand is suffering, it’s more to do with values versus ingredients.
You see at some point, the founder – David Tran – asked his son to take a bigger role in the company operations.
While William – and his sister, Tassie – grew up with the company their father founded, William had worked at a management consultancy and as such, thought he could modernize the approach that his father had built his business on.
Was this by investing in better machinery? No.
Was this by buying some of the suppliers they relied upon? No.
Was this by producing new products founded on Sriracha principles? No.
It was by trying to re-negotiate the contracts of their long-term partners and by replacing the ingredients used with cheaper alternatives.
That’s right … rather than make choices that could add to the potential of the business, he chose to exploit what the business already did.
Or said another way, he wanted to squeeze every possible penny of profit he could out of every possible inch of the business.
And the result of this?
Well, their long-term suppliers walked away.
Their product quality fell away.
And their customers walked all the way to their competitors.
So, what’s the point of this?
Well, it’s that we’re deep in the cult of optimsation. The common consensus success is defined by how much you can squeeze out of what you’ve got rather than grow to what you can become. Where standards are deemed as optional when offered the opportunity to make a teeny bit more money by lowering them.
And it’s this bullshit viewpoint that is at the root of so much bad in brands and business..
Of course, you have to manage costs.
Of course, business is hard and challenging.
And of course, you want to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.
But doing it in isolation, delusion or arrogance of any possible implication is bordering on psychotic … just like the fact that despite all the data and research they invest in, less and less companies seem to have a real appreciation or understanding of who their actual customers are, what’s going on in their lives, what they actually need, want and expect from them and what business they’re actually in.
Oh, they will say they do.
And they’ll use numbers to explain or justify choices and decisions.
But too often, there’s an underbelly of arrogance that customers will blindly accept – or take – whatever they want them to have. That they know more than the people they serve, so are free to do whatever they want that serves their own best interests and goals.
So, they start using lower standards of ingredients.
Or they make pack sizes smaller, while keeping prices the same.
Or they remove features and claim they’re doing it for ‘environmental’ reasons.
Or they find underhand ways to increase usage, like widening the bottle nozzle pour.
Or they claim their product is ‘healthy’ simply by changing pack design and/or serving sizes.
Always looking to shortcut or shortchange … justified and underpinned by an attitude that in business, success is awarded to those who can stretch or squeeze their customers and suppliers, regardless of what it destroys or costs.
That’s where we are folks.
That’s where the school of business is increasingly taking us too.
Optimise, Optimise. Optimise.
Nothing … absolutely nothing matters more than the quarterly result. Except maybe the corporate ego, which is why we end up with research done by bots … innovation designed by spreadsheets … marketing created by systems, rules and AI and decisions evaluated by the ability to optimize not liberate.
Or as my friend told me, “optimise yourself to commodification”.
As I’ve said for far too long… the only thing that differentiates business from competitors are the values you hold.
And when you allow them to be sold for a quick, temporary gain, then you don’t become the same as everyone else, you become worse. Because contrary to popular opinion – people don’t choose you simply because of your price, habit or convenience … but because of something the world of business consultant loves to dismiss as an unnecessary cost …
Standards.
Just ask Srircha, or any of the countless household companies/brands who have turned-to consultants to find ‘clever’ ways to boost business, even if it ends up being at the cost of everyone, except the C-Suite and Wall Street.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Clients, Collaboration, Comment, Conformity, Consultants, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Curiosity, Delusion, Imagination, Innovation, Leadership, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Practice, Marketing Science, Mediocrity, Packaging, Perspective, Process, Relevance, Resonance, Respect, Standards, Strategy, Systems, Technology, Transformation
One of the scariest, awesome things is starting a new project.
Especially a new project where you are given the freedom to take things to new places.
Scary, because there’s always the risk. you might fuck it up.
Awesome, because you can – in theory – go wherever the hell you like.
I love these moments.
I love exploring all the possibilities and then seeing where everyone’s energy is at.
I love the drama, the challenge, the breakthroughs and the crafting.
But most of all, I love the creation.
Seeing something come to life that wasn’t there before.
But to get to a place that excites rather than appeases, is emotionally draining and stimulating.
The process – if that is what you want to call it – is one that tests you more than tests the idea you’re developing.
And frankly we don’t talk about that enough.
Instead, we celebrate precision, perfection, optimization and logic.
And while there may well be elements of all that in all we do, they sure-as-shit don’t happen at the beginning of the process … and if you think they do, then you’re either kidding yourself or you haven’t tried hard enough.
But what’s scary is a lot of the way the industry is structuring themselves is to kid themselves or not try hard enough.
Too many people running our industry are people not from our industry – so they don’t understand how it works.
They see the rabbit holes we need to go down as a waste of time.
A costly exercise in the delivery of our ‘product’.
And while I appreciate you can take too long on things, you can also take too little time …
But that’s where we’re heading … where effectiveness is defined and determined by ‘delivery timelines’ or ‘fitting in’ to pre-determined definitions rather than trying to do something new … something different … something better.
Which is why it’s so funny so many brand and management consultancies talk about ‘brand transformation’ … because you can’t transform if you stick to predefined and predetermined rules, processes and logic. But then – as Lee Hill once told me – they’re not really transforming anyone or anything. What many are really doing is helping old and slow companies catch up with what everyone else in their category has been doing for an age. It means the consultancy can profit from articulating the learnings from the more progressive companies – rather than develop new possibilities and processes of their own – and wrap it up in expensive language that benefits both parties.
Or said another way … ‘catching up’ is sold as innovation and ‘duplication’ is sold as expertise.
OK, I’m being a little harsh there, but the point is … anyone who says creativity and progress can be delivered via a consistent, precise and stable process is either lying to themselves or lying to you. So don’t see the rollercoaster of the creative process as a cost, see it as people who want to make sure they do something really special for you.