The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Media And Marketing Is So Lost, They Don’t Even Care What They Say Any More …

The media – and marketing – have perpetuated all manner of stereotypes over the years.

They spend enormous amounts of time and money painting psychological beliefs into society so they can profit from others shortcomings or vulnerabilities.

They don’t care if it destroys lives, to them that’s just canon fodder in the quest of riches, so everything is justifiable.

Which explains why we see so many things being labelled by the media and marketing industries … because it’s the perfect way to achieve mass social psychological manipulation.

You name it and they’ll have given a name to it.

Superfast.

Superfoods.

Superhair.

Supersoup

They’ll use a label to sell anything … from kale to self-help books to gender roles.

And while that is a fucking horrible way to behave, there is one thing that is pretty impressive and that’s their ability to not just never stop doing it … but to never stop inventing new bullshit labels to fuck with people.

Take a look at this …

A CEO body?

A fucking CEO body?

What does that even mean?

Do all CEO’s share a particular physical format?

I mean, I know Elon and Jeff went from dweeb to muscle mountains, but I’ve still met a bunch of CEO’s with very different body shapes to them.

Also, what sort of CEO are they talking about?

A CEO of a big company? A start-up company? A fast-food company?

Do they lead 3 employees or 33,000 employees?

Are they heading up a profitable company or a crypto disaster?

Do they write thought leader pieces on Linkedin or are they living in a social media blackhole?

And why are you only showing a man?

A white man.

Is it because you think only white men can become a CEO?

Have you inadvertently just explained the real reason behind corporate racism, prejudice and the glass ceiling all in one go?

And while I’m at it, can you explain what you mean by the term ‘midlife’ in your headline?

What is that?

Is it a specific number?

Is it 30?

What about 40?

I bet it’s a mid-number like 45 or something … just to mess with us.

Come on, don’t keep it to yourself. Is there a standard ‘midlife’ no one told me about.

You can tell me. I know at 52 I’ve likely passed it, but I’d still like to know.

Finally – and I really don’t want to be picky here – but why are you telling everyone what the 16 foods ALL men should be eating are?.

Is it CEO food?

Don’t CEO’s eat fancy and expensive stuff?

And if all men eat it, does that mean all men will become CEO’s?

How will that happen? Are there enough CEO jobs to go round to make that happen?

And what about the women who are CEO’s? Do they eat that food as well? Is that how they got to the top … they ate like a man and had a body like a man?

I’m so confused.

In fact the only thing that’s clear to me is how you’re using marketing labelling bullshit to add even more expectation and judgement on people’s lives just so you can attempt to profit even more from making society question how they are supposed to look and live.

All this coming from The Times newspaper.

The fucking Times!!!

Once the pinnacle of journalism and standards, now a peddler of utter horseshit.

Even more so when you think what their CEO’s body is like …

Maybe I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure no one would want to look like that, let alone be like that.

And if The Times think they do, it may help explain why their readership keeps falling.

Dickheads.

Oh I really enjoyed writing that.

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Nursery Rhymes Ruin Lives …

A few weeks ago, I was in Australia.

As I was leaving I saw a billboard for a kids hospital.

Well, it says hospital, but it’s actually a charity that serves hospitals.

All hospitals are amazing, but ones for kids are incredible.

Helping those delicate tiny lives … often unable to understand or express what they are feeling … is basically nothing short of saintly in my book. It hits home even more as people on this blog – including myself – have had to experience the anguish of having a sick kid that relied on the brilliance of Doctors and Nurses as well as the miracle of modern medicine to help them come through.

Anyway, this billboard stood out for reasons beyond just the little baby being featured.

More for its name and logo.

Given it chose to name itself after a Nursery Rhyme character that couldn’t be put back together again [which is not surprising given it was being done by the King’s horses and men] it leaves me wondering if the consultants that came up with the name may need hospital treatment of their own.

Humpty might be a terrible name, but it’s a brilliant charity.

One that shouldn’t need to get donations to help other hospitals keep functioning and save lives.

But they do, so if you can donate, I know they would be grateful.



There’s Weird And There’s Adelaide Toilet Weird …
June 27, 2022, 8:15 am
Filed under: Australia, Comment, Culture

A few weeks ago I found myself in Adelaide.

I didn’t expect to be there, but I was there.

It had been over 20 years since I had last visited, but in that time, its ‘unique’ reputation had remained intact.

A city of churches.

A city of serial killers.

A city that had a timezone 20 years behind society.

OK, so the ’20 years behind’ is unfair … but that’s not from me, it’s what the rest of Australia used to say when I lived there and I’ve not heard anyone change their tune since.

In fact a Qantas steward once got fired for saying this when their plane landed there:

“Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Adelaide. Please put your watches back 20 years”

Now you’d imagine Adelaide citizens would be up in arms with this sort of shit but they’re not.

The reason I was always told was because it means people stay away and they can enjoy their piece of paradise in peace.

And maybe that is exactly the reason.

But there may be another motivation … and that is the people of Adelaide are more ‘unique’ than anyone thought and just don’t want to draw attention to themselves.

What am I going on about?

This …

That photograph is from a bathroom inside the Adelaide airport.

I’ve spent a lot of my life in airports.

I’ve spent a lot of my life in toilets.

And I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.

Which brings me to my opinion on Adelaide and it’s cultural reputation outside of the city.

Because when you need a sign next to a urinal that states, DO NOT DRINK, that’s weird.

But when you need a sign next to a urinal that states DO NOT DRINK because it’s RECYCLED WATER – which suggests it would be perfectly acceptable to be drinking directly from a toilet if it wasn’t … that’s Adelaide weird.

No wonder I like this city.



Cowards Are Oppressors …

Many years ago, I did a campaign for Australian ‘youth’ radio station, Triple J.

Triple J was a government funded radio station, but what set it apart was that it had a mandate to play new artists, preferably Australian, who were definitely not part of the mainstream crowd.

Think John Peel, but Australian.

What I loved about them was how much they divided opinion.

To some they were hope. To others they were noise.

But as we delved deeper, it became apparent the people who thought it was noise were basically proud the followers of the mainstream. The focus-group designed. The beige and the blunted. The average.

Now I appreciate that sounds massively judgemental … but what I found interesting was how companies had basically messed with the meaning of average in a bid to make more cash from customers.

In the old days, average was an achievement.

The meeting point between quality and cost.

Democratisation.

Progression.

Access.

But now average wasn’t that at all.

It was mainstream mediocrity.

Designed for easy, passive appeal. Mindlessness. A strategy of making beige act like gold.

Which led to the point of view of the work: The enemy of average.

Directly targeting anything that had been designed to dumb down rather than lift up.

We got into all sorts of mischief …

From placing warning stickers on all ‘easy listening’ artists in HMV [that saw us being threatened with legal action] … to running ads during mainstream TV to tell viewers they’re being murdered by averageness … to images of mainstream mediocre products being placed in public toilets so you could literally piss on them. [Beige Volvo anyone?]

And while this may all sound madness – and this was the 90’s so tastes were very different – we knew the only way to attract more listeners was to ensure we did it in a way that made our existing fans see we were fighting for what we believe, rather than pandering to popularity.

The old reverse psychology trick.

And it worked because ultimately this was just an extension of who they truly were.

Stubborn, opinionated, mischievous, audacious and uncompromising.

A teen who was very comfortable in playing with the uncomfortable.

And what this did was help build the cult of the brand … helping Triple J enter a new phase of growth while never looking like they were chasing fame.

Of course, they’re not the only ones who have pulled this off.

Playstation did it … NIKE have done it … Supreme do it … but the key to pulling this off successfully is knowing who you are and knowing who you’re for and frankly, not many can brands – or agencies – say that, especially these days.

What makes this even more amazing is how many agencies and companies bang on about their authenticity and purpose … but the problem is they can’t see what they’ve become: a mediocrity pleaser machine.

Of course the signs are there if you just scratch the surface.

Generic, mass audiences.
An aversion for sacrifice.
A desire to remove any sharp edges or opinion.

And while many think making a brand as easy to buy is the greatest way to achieve success, the thing they need to remember is the future goes nowhere in the hands of cowards.



Back To The Future …

Brand experience.

An exciting and new discipline in the brand building space.

Except …

Before some of you had started work.
Before some of you were even born.
SRVT – better known as Sargant Rollins Vranken Tereakes – were not only talking about it, but also doing a ton of stuff with it as well.

Now they were an agency ahead of their time.

An exciting, creative and progressive agency.

One of the very best I had the pleasure of working at.

But still, 23 years have passed since the slide at the top of this page was part of their credentials, so can we stop banging on about experience like it’s the newest, new thing in marketingland?

All we’re really doing by talking about it in these terms is highlighting how slow we actually are.

Especially as many brands – especially in the luxury space – were doing it decades before even SRVT … and certainly better than the ‘lowest level of consistency’ format seemingly favoured and promoted by so many.

God, this week has got off to a positive start hasn’t it, hahahaha.