The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


It Doesn’t Matter How Much You Care About Something If You Hand It To Someone Who Doesn’t Understand It Or Doesn’t Care About …

For 50 years, I never dressed particularly fashionably.

I had a ‘style’, but it was never one people looked at and thought, “I want to dress like that”.

Questionable t-shirts, ripped jeans and a pair of birkies tend to have that reaction.

Part of this is because growing up, I was never exposed to anything ‘fancy’. Despite my Mum being Italian and going to Italy a lot … my version of designer clothing was stuff from Burton’s and C&A and nothing more.

But over the years, I got more and more exposed to the high-end fashion houses.

Projects with Prada and Chanel introduced me to people, stories and experiences that taught me there was far more to who they were than big prices and even bigger pretentiousness. But even that was not enough to convince me this was something for me.

Hell, I still remember the utter shock I felt when I heard a mate tell me they’d spent 70 quid on a t-shirt.

Sure, this was a 1000 years ago, but back then I didn’t know how that was even possible.

T-shirts were 3 for a few quid from Asda so what on earth could justify 70 pounds for a single tee???

And that was how things carried on for decades until 2 events happened in my life:

I got healthy and I started working for the most successful and influential luxury and street-fashion investor on the planet.

And with those 2 things, everything changed …

I got to go behind the scenes of the highest level of the industry.
I got to talk to the creative directors of the houses and labels who define global fashion.
I got to meet the people who create, curate and craft the experiences that define how fashion makes us feel.

But most of all, (1) I could now actually fit in their clothes and (2) my client sent me shitloads of them for free.

Of course, I appreciate how lucky I am for that – and I massively appreciate that they were doing it to ‘keep encouraging me on my health journey’. But – and I say this with utter love and respect for them – I can’t help the real reason is because they didn’t want me turning up to their big meetings and fancy events dressed like a trainwreck. What maybe triggered this was the time I found myself sitting next to Phoebe Philo, ex-creative director of Celine and founder of her own label, who – on seeing my t-shirt, featuring a cat logo – said:

“I love this, who is it by?”

To which I replied:

“My son made it, and that’s our cat”.

To be fair, she was brilliant but I can’t help but imagine she was also thinking, “who the fuck is this nutter I’m next to?”

Bit like the time I was in the lift with members of the Prada family.

They were – literally – the best dressed people I had ever seen in my entire life.

Me? I was wearing ripped jeans, some Nike’s and a hoodie probably from Asda.

Again, they were kind, warm and welcoming – and never once did I feel judged, in fact the opposite – but it was not long after that I started receiving a lot of fancy clothes – hahaha.

But the point of this post is not that I am more fashionably dressed person than I’ve ever been in my life.

Nor is it that I am one of the luckiest bastards on the planet.

No, it’s that the last few years have completely changed my perspective of the industry.

Where once I may have just seen it as pricey and poncy, I now have a deep appreciation, understanding and respect it..

The creativity, the craft, the inspiration, the statements, the history, the details, the obsession.

Put simply, the belief that EVERY detail matters, no matter how big or small.

Steve Jobs once talked about the importance of ‘painting behind the fence’ – the belief that even if no one ever sees or recognizes the care and consideration you have put into your work, you know and that matters – and in many ways, he could have been describing the luxury fashion industry.

You only has to watch the Netflix Documentary ‘7 Days’ – specifically the episode about Chanel’s couture catwalk show – and you’ll see how much thought goes into how every single detail is presented.

Not simply because image is important to them, but because they want to honour the work they have created.

Make sure it is represented, seen and felt exactly as intended and created.

It is a similar approach Metallica have to their music.

It’s why they bought the best vinyl printing plants in the World.
It’s why they invested in the best live concert sound-system in the World.
It’s why they own the rights to all the music they create and have ever created.

It’s not ego. It’s not hyping. It’s about ensuring they honour the work they’ve made so everyone experiences it exactly as intended, versus letting someone else determine that.

So where the fuck is this all going?

Well, it’s because recently I saw this.

Yep, it’s a billboard for the movie Devil Wears Prada 2.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT IMAGE???

How is a movie centered around the world of luxury fashion and media using such a badly designed, stretched and distorted billboard like that?!

Looking online, I can tell you that’s not the official image – at least as far as I can tell – plus I should point out the image has accentuated the lines of the digital billboard, which weren’t visible to the human eye.

But that aside, the image used looks like someone at the local distributor, media agency or billboard company decided, for reasons I don’t understand, to create – or adapt – their own version of the official artwork; the result of which is a visual that makes Devil Wears Prada 2 seems more Poundland than Prada.

Which highlights two very important reminders:

1. Everything communicates who you are and what you value.
2. For the best result, make sure all who work for you – or with you –know who you are and what you value.

I’m not saying price or speed doesn’t matter, of course it does … but what price does sloppiness, misunderstanding or a need-for-speed end up costing?

And to those who say that doesn’t matter, because no one cares … I say this in return.

Not only do you not understand marketing …
Not only do you not care about your company …
You sure as shit don’t understand your customers.

Which gives us one final thing to remember …

For all the systems, processes and marketing practice methodologies you can use … if you forget who its for and what its for, then you’re truly wasting your money.

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In Blog Years, We Are Officially 10487492367 Years Old On Sunday.
May 1, 2026, 5:15 am
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Yes, it’s Friday.

And yes, it’s the first of May.

But neither of those things are as incredible as this …

You see, on Sunday, it will be 20 years since I started this blog.

TWENTY BLOODY YEARS!

That’s before the iPhone.
And Android.
And Facebook.
And the Kindle.
And the financial crisis.
And before Pluto lost its planet creds.
AND BEFORE WI-FI WAS PUBLICLY AVAILABLE … so a very long time ago.

I still remember why I started it …

It wasn’t for any attempt for notoriety or popularity, it was more to do with survival.

You see I’d got a job that – frankly – I was woefully under-qualified for, and because it demanded so much of my time and energy to make sure I didn’t completely fuck it up, I needed an outlet for all the ideas and thoughts that were going around my head that I just didn’t feel were right for what I needed to do at that time.

Not because I was sure I was going to use them later … more because I needed to feel I was still connected to the stuff I loved while also believing that if I didn’t find a way to get them out of my head, they’d maybe be no more space left for anything new to enter my head.

And so this blog was born.

Reading through the first few posts not only reveals the times we were living in, but also the headspace I was in.

Trying to balance making sense of stuff happening around me while also needing an outlet for stuff I was feeling or thinking … which, in many ways, set the tone for how this blog has been for over 2 decades.

Which George recently described as, “the blog version of TK Maxx”.

He’s not wrong … and in some ways, I really like that.

Sure, among the almost 5000 posts I’ve written, there’s a lot of [to keep the TK Maxx analogy going] cheap and nasty shit in there … but there’s also a few ‘designer label’ gems hidden amongst it all.

At least for me.

Stuff that made me think, challenge or question stuff in ways that I had not imagined or considered before.

Stuff that ended up impacting how I did things and how I still do things.

Stuff that forced me to articulate what I believe, not just what I feel.

Maybe those posts meant nothing to anyone but me. Hell, maybe no one even read them. But while every post I’ve written reflects something about who I was – or am – those ‘self-defined gems’ have a special place in my heart because they represent a moment where I felt I was growing and learning.

It’s why I always enjoyed the comment section, because for all the overwhelming piss-taking I received, the vast majority always ‘encouraged’ me to look deeper, wider or longer at issues I’d written about. And I loved that. I loved how the people who commented always kept me on my toes … which is why one of the unexpected pleasures of writing this blog for so long has been seeing how my opinion on certain subjects has changed or evolved over the years. It’s served as a great reminder about the importance of always exposing yourself to others perspectives, opinions, experiences and standards, even if the goal of it is simply to be really sure about what you think or believe.

In many ways, that’s the biggest surprise of 20 years writing this blog.

I never expected anyone to comment on anything I wrote, because I started it just for me.

A private place to express my thoughts and idiocy.

But then Andy discovered it and he sent an email to everyone at Cynic and some of our clients announcing it and then the mayhem started.

At that point, blogging had become a big thing. A good thing. A community of people who wanted to help and contribute to what others were doing. A lot of this was down to the great Russell Davies and his iconic blog … a place that not only brought people from all over the world together, but inspired others to start writing their own as well.

It was a place that not only exposed me to a lot of brilliant people I’d never have known about without his blog – people like Gareth Kay, Paul Colman, Northern Planner, Rob Mortimer, Marcus, John Dodds, Lauren, Age to name but a few – it also brought people to my blog who helped add to the texture, lessons and perspectives I was writing about.

I will forever be grateful to Russell for that … especially as most of the people he inadvertently introduced me to, not only still exist in my life but I have met them all IN THE FLESH.

Alas the blogging community, like most things in life, has moved on with maybe only Martin and I still churning stuff out via that platform. [Well, he curates, I churn] And while technologies advances allows strategists to be even more connected in even more ways, the energy of the community is not the same as it was back in the early days of blogging.

Now it feels more aggressive.

More sharp elbows and self publicizing.

Wanting the spotlight on them rather than the work they do.

But then, the industry seems to value those who talk about the work more than those who actually make it … which kind-of highlights why the industry is in the state it finds itself in but refuses to acknowledge.

Emperor’s New Clothes anyone?!

Screenshot

That this blog is 20 years old blows my mind. I never thought it would last that long, mainly because I never gave much thought about how long I’d be writing the thing. It’s not always been fun – when I was receiving a lot of anonymous hate that resulted in me deciding to stop allowing comments was definitely a low point – but all in all, the whole experience has been pretty glorious.

In many ways, this is one of the longest committed relationships I’ve ever had.

And one of the most successful, hahaha.

The fact there are some people who have been reading it for almost as long as I have been writing it, is madness.

Have they no taste?
Have they got nothing better to do?
Or maybe they’re stuck in prison and this is part of their ‘sentence’.

The good news for them is there’s no way this will still be a ‘going concern’ in another 20 years … at least not in terms of how regular I’ve been writing posts for the past 2 decades. Not because I am running out of things to say [albeit Andy said I have only ever written 3 posts and just keep re-writing them in different ways] but because I’ll be – hopefully – doing other things with my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always be grateful to advertising … it has given me a life I never could have dared to imagine … but I am increasingly spending more and more of my time working and collaborating with artists and I feel that’s where my future may be. Not because I don’t love what I do, but because I find their definition and expression of creativity even more interesting, challenging, open, provocative and progressive than where our industry is choosing to head.

But that’s not going to happen yet. Hell, it may not happen at all – I could get fired by all the artists tomorrow for all I know – which is why for the time being, I’ll keep happily juggling my two ‘lives’ while churning out daily blog posts at the same time.

Sorry, hahaha.

That said, the point of continuing this blog is different to what you may think and why I originally started it.

Because while it has helped me grow, learn, make new friends and even help build my professional reputation [which is hilarious when you read some of the stuff I’ve churned out, like this!] … it delivers something that is even more important to me.

Connection to my family.

I know … I know … that sounds weird-as-fuck, but what I mean is this:

A few years ago, Jill said that while she rarely ever reads my blog, when she does – she can hear my voice because of the way I write.

Put simply, how I write is how I talk … so when she reads my posts, it feels like I’m with her.

And she liked that.

Add to this that I’ve shared deeply personal and important moments in my life – from getting engaged to getting married, to Mum dying, to becoming a Dad, to getting Rosie – and Bonnie – to saying a tearful goodbye to Rosie, to moving from Singapore to HK to China to America to London to New Zealand [so far] … which means moving from cynic/WPP to Sunshine to Wieden+Kennedy to Deutsch to R/GA to Colenso [not to mention all the other highs and lows that have impacted or been introduced to my life over this period, be it death, covid, friends, family, health, books, chaos, and/or multitudes of weird, wild, crazy shit] … and this blog is no longer just a place where I rant rubbish, it’s a place my family can have me close even when I’m no longer here.

That means a lot to me.

Not because I want them to need me, but because I like knowing they can access me should they ever need me.

Or if Otis ever wants to introduce me to whoever becomes important in his life.

It’s why I’m going to keep writing it and why I’m going to move it to a free domain again, to make sure it always stay up … because what originally was a place just for me, has become a place that offers connection to the most important people to me.

And with that, I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has ever visited or commented.

Whether you meant it or not, you’ve given me far more than I ever imagined or hoped for.

Thank you. Love you. Grateful for you.

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A Lot Can Happen In 12 Months …

It’s Monday. In the first few weeks of going back to work after a longish break. And all we are hearing is shit, depressing news from all over the World … so you would imagine today’s post would continue that theme of darkness, and yet it isn’t.

No seriously. It’s bordering on embarrassingly cheery and happy. Admittedly, cheery and happy for me – but given so many people have contributed to the reason for this, I’m hoping it has some positive effect on you too.

So as the title of this post states – a lot can happen in 12 months.

I appreciate you’re saying “no shit”, but as I pointed out, I’m not talking about global events, tech companies or the economy … I’m talking about this from a very, very personal point of view.

Truth be told, when you get to my age, a lot of life has found its natural rhythm so while there will be ups and downs, overall you tend to know how to surf life’s waves.

But the last year for me was pretty extreme.

Don’t get me wrong, the overall view of the year was good – as I wrote about here – but apart from the tragedy of losing many friends and a fucked-up situation with someone I thought was a better human than they proved themselves to be, the biggest challenge I faced was my sight.

I’ve had eye problems since I was 21 but in January 2025, my ‘good’ eye got an infection in Penang, Malaysia that commenced one of the worst medical rollercoasters I’ve had in my life.

And I’ve had a few.

What was initially considered to be a few weeks of discomfort turned into weekly – often daily – hospital visits, endless tests, a range of medical experts being called in, over 50 meds-a-day, a diagnosis so rare it become a medical ‘white paper’ and … worst of all … blindness.

Proper blindness.

The impact of all this on my mental health was pretty severe. To be honest, I hadn’t really realised how much until the festive holiday where my body had the time to finally start to loosen the tension it had been holding – and this was despite visiting a psychologist both after a particularly bad test result and when I was weighing up whether to do the operation as the risks were pretty high.

I say all this because last week I went in for another check-up. My first of the new year … and while the operation had been a success – thanks to my doctor, my surgeons and the intervention of the wonderful PM and his high profile ‘clients’, who organised the specialist who actually invented the operation I was going to have, to come to NZ and consult on my procedure – we didn’t know if it would turnaround my situation.

The good news was after the op, I had some vision – which was a massive news, however I couldn’t see much other than certain blurs of beige.

But over the weeks, with the post-op meds, rest and time – I did sense things were improving, but given one of the issues I had was pressure build up [which you don’t feel] I was pretty apprehensive.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, my check-up revealed the pressure was very good – as in, ‘fully under control’, which meant the main part of the operation had not just worked, but was holding. But then the shockingly good news.

My eyesight was better than my other eye.

That’s right, my operated eye was – under certain conditions – performing better than the eye I’d been relying on for the past 12 months. The irony being that eye was previously shit given my detached retina when I was 21 … but such is the magic of the brain, it has somehow improved to compensate for for my blindness, but now – as the other eye was getting better – it decided not to try so hard.

I cannot tell you what it felt like to hear that.

To be fair, even the specialist and surgeon were shocked at the level and speed of improvement … but they have not just given me the ability to see again, they’ve almost returned my eyesight to pre-illness levels.

No more bumping into people.
No more having my phone screen on max zoom.
No more going to hospital every day and week.
And maybe, no more dressing like a ‘festival chick’ for the Colenso Christmas party.
[Which happened post-op so I literally have zero excuse, haha]

I know, your eyes are now fucked after that image aren’t they. Sorry. At least I can recommend some excellent medical experts. You’re welcome – hahaha.

Anyway, while I’ll need medication for the rest of my life, have regular check-ups and be mindful of lifting heavy items … it really feels like I’ve been given my whole life back.

I know that sounds dramatic. I know there are many others worse off than I ever was or would have been. And I appreciate I was very lucky that I saw a GP quickly … they recognised the severity of the problem straight away … and I had the insurance – and unexpected contacts – who got me the best specialists and surgeons in the country (and worldwide) but there were moments where I felt, with good reason, that the life I had may be taken away from me.

I know I’d have survived.
I know I’d have got through it.
But the problem is at the time, you focus on what’s going to change rather than what you’re going to do … which is why I’m so grateful to everyone who helped, supported and encouraged me over the past 12 months.

From family and friends to nurses and doctors to colleagues and clients to acquaintances and strangers. All of you helped make sure that however dark some moments were, the light was never completely out. Even it is was in my eye. Ha.

So thank you. Thank you so, so much.

And god bless medicine and all you work with it and practice it. At a time where we have global leaders trying to diminish and undermine medical science and medical care, it’s the doctors and nurses we should be listening to, celebrating and compensating – they’re the hero’s, not the entitled egotists who claim to represent the people but only care for themselves.

And if I thought I could see through their bullshit before, I can see it even more clearly now.

Literally and metaphorically.

So with that, happy Monday … but probably not as happy as I will be.

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Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me

So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:

1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]

2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.

That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.

The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.

Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.

But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.

And what high points they were …

Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.

Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.

I got some lovely new tattoos.

Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.

Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.

Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.

My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.

Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …

I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.

Now back to other stuff …

I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.

Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.

Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.

Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.

Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]

Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.

Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.

Talking of Colenso ….

We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.

In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]

As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.

Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.

Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!

How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.

And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.

I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.

Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.

He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.

Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.

And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.

It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.

Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.

Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.

So to my dear Otis …

Happy birthday my wonderful son.

I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.

I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.

Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.

Love you.

Rx

I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.

Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.

Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.

And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.

Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.

See you on the other side.

Rx

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Why The Long Face …
November 7, 2025, 6:15 am
Filed under: Clients, Colenso, Colleagues, Doctor, Emotion, Eye, Family, Health, Metallica, Nurses

So this is going to be the last post for a while.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure when they will start again – hopefully in a couple of weeks, as I have a bunch of shit to write to close the year out with.

However the reality is this is the first time since I started this blog, where there’s no pre-written posts whatsoever.

Zilch. Nada. Nothing.

Now I appreciate this must be the perfect Friday news for you, but for me it’s less positive because its driven by the fact I have my eye operation on the 12th and what happens after that, dictates a lot about how a lot of things in my life then turn out.

I’ve written a bunch about the issues and implications of the eye condition I have had to deal with this year and while I appreciate this post makes it all sound very dramatic, for me it is.

The good news is there’s some hope. Not masses, but some.

The other good news is whatever happens, at least we’ll know where we stand pretty quickly so I can start planning – or hopefully celebrating – within a day or two after the op. Well. I say that, but there’s 4 critical time periods of which one is seven bloody months away thanks to the optic nerve working in slow-mo, or something.

But the reality is I’m pretty nervous about it for a whole host of reasons.

One is because a lot is riding on it …

Two is you don’t get the chance to know when a week could change your life very often, and I do … which just adds to the anxiety I already am feeling.

And finally, the last time I was in a situation like this – that resulted in me writing a post like this – the result was my life turned to shit. At least for a bit.

Now the situation between then and now is very different, but it still has me feeling really unsettled however one thing that has really helped is the support I’ve received from all of my doctors and nurses, family, friends, team, colleagues, clients and – bizarrely – strangers on different platforms of social media.

I say ‘bizarrely’ because my experience of a lot of social media platforms these days is it’s full of horrible, judgemental, egotistical rude pricks … and yet, when I have talked about my situation, I’ve been met with nothing but compassion and kindness and I can tell you, not only did that shock me, it also has made a real difference to me.

That said, it has also revealed some people who haven’t been all I thought they were or would be.

Most have had their heart in the right place, they just lack awareness of when to shut-the-fuck-up, hahaha … but some.

Well, put it this way … it’s the equivalent of discovering someone you went to school with is a raging racist and after the shock, you just realise they’re a pretty ugly human fullstop.

But that’s the minority because – as I said – most have been amazing.

The thing is – and I get this may come as a surprise to some, given I’ve shared all manner of personal stuff on this blog over the past 2 decades – the reality is I never tend to share stuff like this, I tend to keep it to myself … at least until it’s all well and done. However this time was different – probably because the impact of it made it impossible to hide – so I’ve had the very unusual experience of not just feeling most people wanting to help, but liking it too.

Jesus, what does this say about me, hahaha.

On top of all this, I have is the Metallica boys coming to this part of the world for the first time in a very, very long time and I am supposed to be doing some stuff for that.

While no one is expecting me to do it – given the eye situation – I really want to.

My involvement with their tour work has always been basically zero – I’m simply their cat-litter tray for their other projects – however given the last time I saw them was in LA, back in September 2023, and all the times they’ve played where I’ve lived, I’ve found myself overseas … this is a chance for me to be part of something extra special given the time they’ve been away from NZ and the situation with my sight.

That said, they have played a role in my health that I can’t go into but will be eternally grateful for … so whatever happens, I am eternally grateful they are in my life and I will even make sure Lars has his fave tea when he comes round to check on me.

Maybe, Haha.

What this all adds up to is that I am going to be quiet for at least 2 weeks and we’ll see what happens after that.

It could be longer, it all depends on the op … but I am going to isolate myself from the world in that time.

Anyway, I really want to end this miserable bastard of a post on a bit of a positive, so to do that I’m going to leave you 2 things …

First, here’s a picture of me in a suit.

No, that’s not AI, it’s real.

I’m in a suit. A suit I bought. That cost me a bloody fortune.

Given I didn’t even wear a suit for my wedding or my parents funerals, this is a VERY big deal.

But if you thought that was the funniest part, wait a second … it gets better.

Because rather than this being undeniable proof the condition of my eye has made me lose my mind … the reality is I bought the suit for a very special dinner I was supposed to have with a very special person in London back in October. Except – as I wrote here – they only went and bloody moved it to 2026 didn’t they!!!

See, told you it got better. Or for me, worse.

OK, so that’s step one of my ‘mood lightening’ agenda.

Step two is something altogether different …

It’s a clip of one of the most wonderful performances I’ve watched in a very long time.

It features Stephen Wilson Jnr. singing the Ben E King classic, ‘Stand By Me’.

There’s so much to love about it, but performance aside, I have to say I love how the host looks increasingly bewildered as the song unfolds … as if he cannot fathom how this incredible majesty of sound is unfolding right in front of his eyes.

It’s a reminder that while anyone can sing a song, only a few can truly own a song – and they don’t do that through technical ability, but emotion.

Talking of emotion, I just want to say thank you all again. You’re ace and I hope I get to ‘see’ you all soon … literally and metaphorically.

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