The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Welcome To The 80’s. Again …

The last 2 posts of this week have been pretty heavy … or, even angry.

And I make no apologies for that when I see how the talent in our industry are being undermined by people who only care about themselves than elevating the real value of what we do.

But even I need a rest from it, which is why I thought I’d talk about this …

This is the window display of a shop near the Colenso office.

Now I know they say New Zealand is 20 years behind the rest of the world but even then, it’s mind-blowing this is still up.

I mean, look at it?

It’s to even the overly sexualized image, it’s how fucking rubbish it is.

Like an outtake from this old Hagen Diaz ice cream ad by BBH, putting aside the production quality of this spot FROM 1992, is still better than this suntanning bullshit …

On one hand I’m almost impressed, because it takes a lot of delusional confidence to use this image, and while I get that I ‘noticed it’, that doesn’t mean it’s smart. And that’s where a lot of people go wrong with creativity – thinking that anything that stands out means it’s justifiable. Because while there are moments where ‘shock’ has a strategic rationale, it loses its value when [1] it’s for something no one gives a fuck about because it’s pure superficiality and [2] when every other fucker is adopting the same approach, because then you’re not standing out – just blending in.

Creativity is far more about smartness and sharpness than blatant attempts at shock value … but in the hands of those who don’t know or care what creativity can do – or be – for them, you end up with shit like this.

Or the Heinz/Heineken bullshit collab.

The thing they marketed as ‘the collab you’ve been waiting for’ – hahahahahaha, yeah right.

Of course I appreciate some people will read this and say I don’t know what I’m talking about, to which I will ask who is saying that.

Because I am pretty certain the majority of them will be people who’ve never made any actual creative work, let alone anything of note.

Work can be powerful, differentiated and impactful in a whole host of ways … starting with knowing the people you’re specifically talking to.

And that’s the problem, too many companies have no idea who they’re talking to, so try to talk to everyone.

Which is why you end up with that ketchup beer bullshit – or worse – that Maxwell House disaster.

Don’t get me wrong, I love causing mischief as much as the next guy. Probably more.

And I have probably done more of it than most … including some utter disasters, including the infamous ‘KitKat Royal Break’ nightmare.

But as I said, great creativity is inherently smart, sharp and surprising – rather than just playing the ‘superficial shock’ card – which is why whenever I am in this situation, I always remember something the great Rupert Howell – no slouch in provocative approaches – once said to me:

“Robert. One of the most important lessons to learn is ‘just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

Reinforcing why we need more people educating the industry on ‘taste and trouble’ rather than how to blindly follow a framework that has zero nuance, understanding or space for context, category or audience.

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How To Be A Great Client Who Creates Great Work …

I’ve been around.

I’ve been doing this strategy thing for longer than many who read this blog have been alive.

And of all the things I’ve learned, one of the most valuable has been to never doubt the importance of having a good client.

To be clear, a ‘good client’ doesn’t mean they never challenge you. Or place high expectations on you. Or resist the urge to add pressure to what needs to be done and by when.

The reality is good clients do all those things. The difference is how they do it and why.

Because a good client acts as a proper partner.
They take responsibility for what they need to make happen.
They calm and control the internal noise, voices and opinions.
They share your ambition for the work, not just for the desired impact of the work.
They welcome, encourage and invite truth and transparency.
They remove the barriers and fears that stand in the way of making something great.
The don’t blame, shame or complain – they stay the course and know when to get involved and, just as importantly, stay out the way.
They never dictate … because they’re always clear with what needs to be done and why.
And if things change, they tell you early and transparently.
Plus you know they will have done what they can before that situation occurred.
They always listen at least as much as they talk.
They brief with an actual document not just a casual conversation.
They give feedback that is objective rather than just subjective
They don’t let internal processes stand in the way of opportunities that come their way.
They trust you and your expertise and look for the best rather than seek out the worst.
And they never, never treat you like you’re a servant, commodity or low-level employee.

They do all those things.

All of them. All the time.

Which is why you can have all the processes in the world …

You can have all the systems, data, structures and efficiency tools …

But not one of those comes close to what a great client can deliver and do.

For the work.
For the business.
For the customers and employees.
And for making sure you do everything you can to given them the work of their lives.

We don’t talk about this enough.

And we certainly don’t teach it or train it.

Instead, we keep hearing how we must adhere to a singular process or format, regardless of category or context, even though it has often been created by people who have never made anything of note and if they have, in one area and one area only.

You can tell who they are because they love to sound like they are business liberators when – as I’ve said many times – they’re far more like insurance salesmen.

And that’s find if you want that sort of thing – but often that is never how it is sold. Now of course I understand there’s huge costs and risks associated with creativity and marketing … but there’s a major difference between playing to win and playing not to lose … which is why there’s a huge difference between a client who uses process and deliverables as a stick and those who operate via transparency, taste and trust.

And for those of you who don’t think one person can negatively – or positively – influence the output of a corporation, even if they have built an approach and format that has been tested over years, I refer you to the quote by the Dalai Lama.

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito”

We need more training from the people who have made great things happen and over again …

Actual things, not just theories, self promotion or

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What Do You Call Something That Can Cure Insomnia But Gives You Nightmares And A Terrible Headache At The Same Time?

A few months ago, the lovely James Welch [stupidly] invited me to have a chat about my perspectives on creativity, technology and process.

Why? I have no idea … maybe he was being charitable.

Whatever the reason it ended up – surprise, surprise – being a ramble about why I’m a nightmare to work with, an ‘acquired’ taste and absolutely not an idea megalomaniac.

The good news is only one of these character evaluations came from James … which, on second thoughts, may not be such good news after all.

Anyway, I thought I’d post it …

Not because I have a career death wish, but because if someone out there is finding it hard to sleep, listening to it will help them drift off in no time … albeit having to endure some horrific nightmares along the way.

Not because of what I say – even if some of the perspectives are pretty bleak – but because you’ll hear my dulcet tones saying it.

You can watch it here.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you …

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If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

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Who Is Taking Who For A Ride?

I come from a family of lawyers.

My Italian Uncle was a prosecutor against the Mafia and my Dad was a Human Right’s barrister who specialized in fighting corporations and governments who chose to label certain groups/people as ‘irrelevant’ or ‘unimportant’.

I – on the other hand – am not a lawyer. I neither had the brains or the patience … though I did get a distinction in law at college, albeit because my Dad helped me massively – hahahaha.

But the thing is, you can’t be around that level of legal brain without it having some influence over you and one of the things my Dad and Uncle really shaped for me was how ‘details matter’.

Now I appreciate law and advertising are VERY different, but one of the areas where they are very similar is the ability to make complexity, simple.

Unfortunately, a lot of our industry seems to have forgotten that … preferring to either celebrate complexity or make things embarrassingly simplistic, but when we do things right, we do things really right.

Of course it takes a lot of hard work to make things simple.

You have to read.
You have to explore.
You have to go down rabbit-holes.
You have to chat, challenge, and consider.

But not only does this approach mean you get to the core of issues, problems, understanding and opportunities … you are more likely to put something out that makes a real difference to people and the business. So I find it fascinating how more and more companies are giving less and less time for this hard work to be done.

Wanting the process to be at a ‘sprint’.
Wanting costs and people to be ‘trimmed’.
Wanting the agency to accept what ‘they say’.

But we don’t push back on this to be awkward, we push back on this because we give a shit about their wellbeing. We want to do things that add value to what they do, rather than open the door to challenges or questions. And while I appreciate there is a narrative that ‘the general public don’t really care about advertising’, the reality is a bit more nuanced than that.

1. They don’t care about SHIT advertising, but they do care about, what they care about.
2. They definitely care about not being fucked over by companies who try to fuck them over.

And if there’s one thing companies should know by now … social media often finds the stuff they want to hide. The stuff that challenges the narrative they like to project and profess. And while I appreciate that may have led to many companies making ads that basically say nothing – in the twisted belief that if they bore audiences to death, they’re protected – the reality is there will always be someone out there who delves into the details.

I’m not talking about conspiracy theorists.
I’m not talking about the populists and non-conformists.
I’m talking about individuals who want to make sure the companies who want them to give a shit, give a shit in return.

And you know what should scare companies even more?

AI allows everyone to do this quickly and easily. Suddenly the tool some companies have adopted as a way to ‘slash costs’, is the tool that allows society to work out if they should give them any time, let alone money.

And why am I talking about this?

Because in the last few weeks, there’s been a couple of posts that show the importance of ‘the details’.

A couple of posts that show a company that loves to claim they care about what you need, care more about what they need.

A couple of posts that are fucking breathtaking in their ‘findings’.

Who am I talking about? Uber.

Cars and Food delivery.

Now I appreciate what is detailed below may not be entirely accurate – different markets operate by different needs and requirements – however if you use Uber in any way, and I do, it’s something worth reading.

Because at the very least, if the information is not completely right, Uber can then tell us and show us how good they really are. And if the information is correct, then it will force Uber to change or face the consequences.

Details matter.

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