Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Cliches, Clients, Collaboration, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Conformity, Consultants, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Distinction, Diversity, Effectiveness, Efficiency, Egovertising, Emotion, Empathy, Entertainment, Experience, Fake Attitude, Focus Groups, Food For Thought, Fulfillment, Independence, Influencers, Integrity, Leadership, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Practice, Marketing Science, Mediocrity, Perspective, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Popularity, Professionalism, Provocative, Purpose, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect, Strategy, Technology, Toxic Positivity, Work
I know, that’s quite the title isn’t it.
Some would even say it’s ‘clickbait’.
Well, while I readily admit it’s slightly exaggerated, hang in there …
So years ago, Jill rang me to tell me she’d discovered Otis – who was about 4 years old back then – had made a shopping list of things he wanted to order on Amazon through Alexa.
Loads of stuff.
Fortunately for us, this included a range of items even Amazon can’t source.
Stuff such as: Eyeballs … Polar Bears … “Poo Poos” … and countless other weird shit his mind decided would be fun to own.
Putting aside the fact this proved he was most definitely my son, hearing his little voice recite all the things that were on his ‘ownership bucket list’ was wonderful, which is why we have never deleted it.
Not just so we can forever relive his childhood curiosity, but because it will be brilliant to play it when he has his 21st birthday – hahaha.
I say this because I recently read another evil genius use – or should I say, abuse – of Alexa.
This.
Why the hell had I never thought of doing this before?
On the positive, it has shown how mature I have become over the years. On the negative, it has highlighted how I am a groupie for mischief because you can be sure-as-hell I will be finding ways to do this to people from here on in. No wonder the guys at Q-Prime called me ‘immune to maturity’.
And while you may shake your head and call me a ‘sad bastard’ for wanting to do this, think of it as an act of revenge against the tech-bro boys.
Because as much as Alexa may have many uses and benefits … it has also fucked humanity. Teaching us to expect instant gratification for whatever we want, whenever we want it.
No moment for pause.
No time for consideration.
No appreciation of nuance.
Where the only thing that matters – and you are judged on – is the speed of the response.
It’s probably why so many brands love influencers.
Not simply because of their audience.
Not simply because of their popularity.
But because they will say EXACTLY what they want … without challenge, opinion or rearticulation.
I don’t blame the influencer for this, because not only are they making bank out of it, why should they give a shit … for them, the relationship is purely transactional and what they’re selling is access, not authenticity.
But I tell you who should care …
Clients.
But in these days where the main topic of conversation seems to be about ‘shouting at scale’ – read: believing media is way more important than working with people who know what to say and how to say it – is it any surprise that despite spending over US$1 TRILLION dollars on advertising last year, the industry feels like one homogenous, barren contrived-as-fuck blob?
Or as a client of mine recently said, “we’re past the brand building age and now in the brand shrinking era”.
I get instant answers are convenient.
I appreciate having people push back on you can be a pain.
But we need to get back to normalizing the value of objectivity.
Because the point of it is not to frustrate, but to stop you shouting into an echo chamber and building something that people helps people become something.
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Finally – as if it being Friday wasn’t good enough – I am away again for 11 days.
ELEVEN!!!
However it’s not all good news because if you’re in Perth, Western Australia … then Paris, France … then Beijing, China … I’m going to be in your hood so watch out.
Actually, it’s even worse for the people in Perth because I’m going to be shouting swearwords at the brilliant State Of Social conference.
That’s right, the wonderful, generous, kind idiots have invited me again … which means some people just never learn from their mistakes.
So have a good weekend/week. Unless you’re in Perth, Paris or Beijing.
See you around the 3rd Sept.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Communication Strategy, Craft, Creative Development, Creativity, Marketing, Marketing Practice, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Process, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Rick Rubin, Rigor, RulesOfRubin, Standards, Strategy
When I spoke at the conference in Berlin, I talked about rigor.
The main reason for doing that was because while our discipline talks a lot about rigor, more often than not – it seems the emphasis is far more on the adoption of marketing science principals rather than putting in the time and effort to really get under the skin of our clients situation and the context and understanding of the audiences they need to embrace.
The obsession with ‘sprints’ is part of the problem …
Because it seems clients care more about having fast answers than they do right answers.
Oh, I know they claim to give us all the information we need to move forward, but – as Dan Lyons pointed out in his brilliant book, ‘Disrupted’ – too many companies don’t know ‘who they are, who they’re for and what they do’, so the result of that is we are encouraged to make work that appeals to who they wish they were, rather than who they are.
Hence the need for rigor.
To be given the time and space to understand what the hell is going on.
Now of course, I appreciate time is money … and what we do can cost a lot of it … but while you can definitely take too long to do things, you can also not take long enough, which is why briefs need to be more about what we need to change than what we want to say.
And while there’s more data out there than you could ever use, the reality is nothing – and I mean nothing – has the impact of spending time with the people who are deeply entrenched in the category/product/brand that you’ve talking about.
They’re the ones who know what’s going on.
They’re the ones who see the challenges and problems.
They’re the ones who evolve what and where things can go.
And while they may well be at the far edge of where the category is, more often than not – they’re also the people who bring the masses along with them.
Or said another way, they’re the ones who can help you listen and understand like a fan. An educated fan.
Because the more you do that, the more you are exposed to the textures and nuances that reveal the truth, power and possibilities of what you are dealing with. Truth, power and possibilities that – in the obsession with speed – often get overlooked or devalued in favor of quick wins and convenient answers.
It’s basically how Rick Rubin has always approaches his job …
Understanding the artist’s truth and pushing/elevating it, rather than simply having a singular format that he adopts regardless of who he is working with or the situation they are currently in.
And before you dismiss this, there’s 2 important things to remember:
1. What he is doing is basically strategy.
2. What he has achieved – by any criteria you want to measure him by – is beyond almost anything any strategist in our industry has.
Now it is important I point out that I don’t have a problem with marketing science …
It has a place in the strategic process and has lessons/considerations that are valuable and important.
My problem with it is far more about how it is presented, specifically by the people who have a vested interest in promoting their ‘methodology’ … because they suggest it is the only way to liberate a brand’s potential when that is not the case and – generally – it is designed to not go wrong, rather than to elevate how far you can go.
Which is why we need to stop confusing ‘marketing science’ as strategic rigor when it’s more strategic 101. Valuable, but foundational.
It’s also why, I have a sign in the Colenso ‘strat’ department that reminds everyone that true strategic rigor requires us to be …
Filed under: 2024, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Clients, Collaboration, Comment, Complicity, Conformity, Consultants, Culture, Marketing, Marketing Fail, New Zealand, Outdoor, Planes, Professionalism, Research, Strategy
So yesterday I wrote a post about Air New Zealand’s frequent flyer ‘air points’ promotion.
I pointed out how I don’t think they understand the real needs, wants and motivations of their top tier passengers and that it doesn’t matter how much data you have, if you don’t understand what it’s really saying, it’s useless.
Worse … it’s commercially dangerous.
Especially if you choose to ignore 2 consistent ‘hidden’ traits of humans:
1. All of us have areas of hypocrisy.
2. Most people tell you what they think will help protect their beliefs rather than reveal them.
I ended the post asking how the hell could they get so many key elements wrong for such an important relaunch … suggesting the research company they used looks like they spent too much time with the data and not enough – if any – with actual customers.
So imagine my surprise – and delight – when last night, I received this:
Not sure this is the best ‘ad’ for Kantor.
Or the research industry, to be honest.
And just before I get any hate, I have a lot of time and respect for the research industry – when it’s does properly and well. But frankly, we’re witnessing far too many focusing their efforts on how to ‘optimise’ their efficiency [read: using AI and bots] and redefine their position [read: being consultants rather than informants] the the work coming out ends up – ironically – making us ask more questions than have greater understanding.
Don’t get me wrong, I know research is not perfect – what the hell is?
I also appreciate that any research is better than none.
However when companies act like they – and only they – have all the answers, then they better be OK with owning their mistakes … because if they don’t, they’re no longer valuable to business, they’re a danger to it.
I get we live in a time of corporate hutzpah – where no one must show any weakness or vulnerability – but what that also means is we’re living in a time of Emperor’s New Clothes and we all know how that turned out.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Community, Complicity, Conformity, Consultants, Crap Campaigns In History, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Customer Service, Management, Marketing Fail, Planes, Planning, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect
Way back in 2006 I wrote a post about what exclusivity means.
Not the marketing version of it … but what the people who can afford to have it, really want and expect from it.
The reality is this group of people don’t care about showing – or sharing – their success with the masses. They don’t have any desire to be ‘aspirational’. In fact what they want couldn’t be more different – because all they really seek is to keep the masses as far away from them as is physically possible.
I entitled the post, FUCK YOU MONEY, but really it should have been called FUCK OFF MONEY … because that’s the spirit that defines exclusivity to them. The ability to live in a world where the only people around them are equal people.
Or said another way, they like to practice economic racism.
It’s part of the reason LVMH lost cache in China when they opened stores in lower-tier cities.
It’s part of the reason Bentley lost long-term customers when they became the car-of-choice for rappers.
And it’s part of the reason why Air New Zealand have scored a massive own goal with their most valuable customers with this billboard rolling out all across NZ.
For those who don’t know what Koru is … it’s Air New Zealand’s new Frequent Flyer Program and Koru Black is their highest tier.
To be fair to Air NZ, Koru is genuinely one of the best frequent flyer programs of any airline in the World … so with that in mind, I get why they think offering the public the opportunity to get more points to get closer to ‘black status’ is appealing.
However, it isn’t for the fuckers who already have achieved that status.
For them, they’ll not only see it as Air NZ allowing more people to be part of their club’, they’ll see it as Air NZ allowing ‘lesser people’ to be part of it given they ‘won’ their place via a promotion rather than ‘earned the right to be there’ as they will no doubt tell themselves they achieved
Is that bollocks?
Sure, but that doesn’t mean they don’t think it, which is why one of the best bits of airline research I’ve ever read was when the wonderful David Lin – who worked for me at Wieden, and is now Mr Important at Apple – told me that ‘business class was the politest way to say ‘fuck off’ to everyone who always wanted their time or attention.
But there’s more …
Because added to this is the fact many Koru Black members feel annoyed they already have to share ‘their’ airport lounge facilities with people from other airlines who happen to hold a business class ticket – which results in situations where there’s no seats available to rest in – and you start to think Air NZ may not understand their top customers as much as they may like to think they do.
What makes it worse is that it would have been so easy to discover …
The main one being just sit in the airport lounge and listen to the conversations when it’s full.
But it seems they didn’t. Or haven’t. Because what else would explain their disastrous decision to set all ‘black tier’ customers frequent flyer points to zero when they launched Koru.
Sure, they did a u-turn on when they discovered how angry it had made customers … but they still did it, which not only undermined their launch, but left customer with a horrible taste in their mouth they’ll remember for a long time.
I mean, you’d think it would be obvious to not do that, but apparently it wasn’t – which not only suggests Air NZ put their faith in the wrong research and creative partners – not to mention are incapable of evaluating standards with an objective, global perspective – it highlights how you can have all the data in the world, but if you don’t look for, or understand, the fucked-up, hypocritical truth of your customers, you’ve got nothing.
Also see every research company who announced with the upmost confidence that Trump wasn’t going to win the Presidency in his first term … either because they were arrogant, blinkered or simply failed to understand people rarely tell you what they think, instead they tell you what they think will protect them from revealing what they really believe.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Business, Comment, Consultants, Corporate Evil, Corporate Gaslighting, Culture, Data, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Science, Money, Reputation, Research, Respect, Srircha
3 years ago, I wrote about the amazing story of Sriracha sauce.
How it is a testimony to belief, standards and stubbornness.
If you didn’t read it, you should – especially as the brand, right now, is suffering badly.
Now you may think this is where I say I was wrong …
That I mistook a moment of success for a story of sustainable excellence.
But you’d be wrong … because while the brand is suffering, it’s more to do with values versus ingredients.
You see at some point, the founder – David Tran – asked his son to take a bigger role in the company operations.
While William – and his sister, Tassie – grew up with the company their father founded, William had worked at a management consultancy and as such, thought he could modernize the approach that his father had built his business on.
Was this by investing in better machinery? No.
Was this by buying some of the suppliers they relied upon? No.
Was this by producing new products founded on Sriracha principles? No.
It was by trying to re-negotiate the contracts of their long-term partners and by replacing the ingredients used with cheaper alternatives.
That’s right … rather than make choices that could add to the potential of the business, he chose to exploit what the business already did.
Or said another way, he wanted to squeeze every possible penny of profit he could out of every possible inch of the business.
And the result of this?
Well, their long-term suppliers walked away.
Their product quality fell away.
And their customers walked all the way to their competitors.
So, what’s the point of this?
Well, it’s that we’re deep in the cult of optimsation. The common consensus success is defined by how much you can squeeze out of what you’ve got rather than grow to what you can become. Where standards are deemed as optional when offered the opportunity to make a teeny bit more money by lowering them.
And it’s this bullshit viewpoint that is at the root of so much bad in brands and business..
Of course, you have to manage costs.
Of course, business is hard and challenging.
And of course, you want to be open to new possibilities and opportunities.
But doing it in isolation, delusion or arrogance of any possible implication is bordering on psychotic … just like the fact that despite all the data and research they invest in, less and less companies seem to have a real appreciation or understanding of who their actual customers are, what’s going on in their lives, what they actually need, want and expect from them and what business they’re actually in.
Oh, they will say they do.
And they’ll use numbers to explain or justify choices and decisions.
But too often, there’s an underbelly of arrogance that customers will blindly accept – or take – whatever they want them to have. That they know more than the people they serve, so are free to do whatever they want that serves their own best interests and goals.
So, they start using lower standards of ingredients.
Or they make pack sizes smaller, while keeping prices the same.
Or they remove features and claim they’re doing it for ‘environmental’ reasons.
Or they find underhand ways to increase usage, like widening the bottle nozzle pour.
Or they claim their product is ‘healthy’ simply by changing pack design and/or serving sizes.
Always looking to shortcut or shortchange … justified and underpinned by an attitude that in business, success is awarded to those who can stretch or squeeze their customers and suppliers, regardless of what it destroys or costs.
That’s where we are folks.
That’s where the school of business is increasingly taking us too.
Optimise, Optimise. Optimise.
Nothing … absolutely nothing matters more than the quarterly result. Except maybe the corporate ego, which is why we end up with research done by bots … innovation designed by spreadsheets … marketing created by systems, rules and AI and decisions evaluated by the ability to optimize not liberate.
Or as my friend told me, “optimise yourself to commodification”.
As I’ve said for far too long… the only thing that differentiates business from competitors are the values you hold.
And when you allow them to be sold for a quick, temporary gain, then you don’t become the same as everyone else, you become worse. Because contrary to popular opinion – people don’t choose you simply because of your price, habit or convenience … but because of something the world of business consultant loves to dismiss as an unnecessary cost …
Standards.
Just ask Srircha, or any of the countless household companies/brands who have turned-to consultants to find ‘clever’ ways to boost business, even if it ends up being at the cost of everyone, except the C-Suite and Wall Street.