The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Have We Hit Peak Daily Mail?

I hate the Daily Mail.

I hate what they stand for.

I hate how they conduct their ‘journalism’.

I hate the way they fan the flames of hate under the guise of revealing truth.

And yet I read it every day.

Every bloody day.

Not for the ‘news’, but because I enjoy the hate they ignite in me.

Of course, by me reading it, they are benefiting from me – and that drives me nuts – but there is something in understanding the depths they will go to appear relevant that is addictive.

They go on about news they have broken.

They go on about justice they have driven.

But the reality is the entire rag is dedicated to letting white middle Englanders, feel superior, which is why I love how they think they’re cutting edge without realising they continually revea how out of touch they – and their readers – actually are.

Recently, they printed an article that was pure gold.

This was the headline.

I can just imagine the horror on the faces of James and Margaret in Tunbridge Wells – spitting out their Earl Grey tea over breakfast – as they worried their darling grandchildren may be being assaulted by sex pest foreign perverts via endless aubergine and peach emojis.

What makes it even better is the article has been written as if the Daily Mail had just conducted some Pulitzer winning, investigative journalism.

No doubt there will be an article coming up in the next few weeks stating the Daily Mail is committed to eradicating emoji filth from our young children’s phones … conveniently ignoring the hate they continually perpetuate towards the young, the poor or the people who question the actions or behaviour of the British Government or Royal family.

Like this blog, the Daily Mail are about 10 years too late to cultural topicality which is why I leave them with this, safe in the knowledge they won’t work out what I’ve said till 2030.

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Uber Eats … Small Business.


The unicorn.

The Silicon Valley dream.

The blueprint for disruptor business.

That is if you turn a blind eye to all the shady shit they have done.

But it’s fair to say, since they got rid of Travis – the founder – and replaced him with Dara, as CEO, things have got a lot better for the delivery company.

Oh, I know they see themselves as pioneers of urban mobility, but then WeWork saw themselves as a tech company and all they really did was lease office space.

That said, Uber have a much more sustainable model than WeWork.

People need to get places and people want food delivered – and boy, are Uber exploiting that.

Especially the latter.

Oh don’t get me wrong … I find it super useful, but when you look into how they charge, you realise they’re eating everyone’s lunch while you’re paying for it.

Stuff, a NZ media outlet, recently did a study on the premium charged by Uber vs going to the restaurant direct.

Now you would expect to pay more having an item delivered – but some of these percentages are massive. Up to 30% more. But then, when you see how much Uber charge them to just be on their site – ignoring the fact that without them, they wouldn’t even have a business – it starts to make sense.

Mind you, when you then see all the other ways Uber profit from delivering your burger and chips – as stated on their website – it starts to leave the nastiest taste in your mouth.

Delivery Fee: The delivery fee varies based on things like your location, the merchant you’re ordering from, and the availability of delivery people. The delivery fee is displayed at the top of the merchant’s menu.

Service fee: This fee is 10% of your order value, with a minimum of $1 and a maximum of $4. If a promotion or discount applies to your order, the service fee will be calculated based on your order value either before or after the promotion or discount is applied, depending on the type of promotion or discount. The service fee will be shown to you at checkout before you place your order.

Wrong delivery address fee (when included): This fee is charged when the address is changed after the order has been placed

Busy area fee (when included): In times of high demand – such as during bad weather or peak times, you may be asked to pay the busy area fee to your restaurant when you place an order. This fee is designed to keep the Uber Eats experience reliable and to help ensure you have a wide selection of your favourite local restaurants and stores.

Priority fee (when selected): Choose to opt-in to have your order delivered directly to you. This option means if the delivery person is dropping off more than one order, yours will be the first delivered.

Now of course Uber aren’t the only ones doing this, but maybe they’re the only ones who don’t give a shit. No doubt they’ll say they are simply an intermediary and cannot be held responsible for the wellbeing and representation of the restaurants they work with – a similar argument to why they didn’t want to be held responsible for employee benefits for their Uber drivers – but when you see a photo like this from them …

… you have to wonder if they care about the wellbeing of the restaurants they deal with.

Or just plain standards.

Yes, I appreciate this will be programatic output.

Yes, I appreciate you get a lot of food from Sun Tasty BBQ.

But for a brand spending untold millions on celebs to promote their brand, it seems when it comes to promoting the actual businesses who they rely on for a business – and the business rely on them for customers – it appears they don’t give a shit.

Which, as a friend of mine recently told me, is the sort of behaviour you would expect from a pyramid scheme or religious cult rather than a food delivery service.

Or as another mate sai …

“Watch out for those who don’t care about the people they work with”.

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Who Needs Science When You Have Life …
August 15, 2022, 8:15 am
Filed under: Comment

Of all the Monday posts I’ve ever written, this may be the most perfect.

Depressing and inspiring all at the same time.

Or said another way, the most reflective and needed for a Monday morning.

Hope you have a good week.

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Hooray, Liam’s Leaving …
August 12, 2022, 8:00 am
Filed under: Advertising, Colenso, New Zealand, Planning

Today, Liam leaves the planning gang at Colenso.

Whenever someone leaves – or should I say, whenever someone you like and respect leaves – it’s always sad … but I’m literally over-the-moon.



You see when I started at Colenso, Liam was one of the first people I sat down with.

Within seconds of our first ‘colleague’ chat, he said …

“I would love to live and work in Canada at some point”.

Now I have to admit that it normally takes a little longer for someone to say they don’t want to work with me … and yet I still loved it.

Not because I wanted him to go.
Not because I didn’t like him.
But because he’d been honest and now we knew what we were working towards together.

Zoom forward 15 months and here we are … celebrating his last day before he heads off to Canada to work with the fine folk at Taxi.

Hence I’m sad he’s leaving but over the moon he’s going.

While we didn’t work that long together, I can honestly say I’ll never ever forget him.

Part of that is for his smarts … particularly on something that comes out just after he leaves. [which seems to always be the way. Certainly was for me. Thanks a bunch NIKE China!]

Another part is for his formidable table-tennis prowess, even though he wishes it was also for his 10 Pin Bowling.

But one of the biggest parts is for a reason I’m never allowed to say, despite the fact everyone in the team knows and probably share the same view.

Moving countries can feel scary.

And I don’t mind admitting that initially it can be challenging and demanding.

But it’s also exciting, fulfilling, informing and evolving.

Not everyone can do it.

Not everyone gets to do it.

But I’m so glad Liam is.

Thank you for everything mate. The good … the bad .. and those fucking venn diagrams.

Have the time of your life and know I’m so bloody glad you’re leaving.


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Politicians Need To Represent Us, Not Judge Us …
August 11, 2022, 6:45 am
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Culture, Education, England

Rishi Sunak, the potential Tory leader, has laid out a three-point plan to transform education in the UK – including that statement in the photo above.

Yep, he wants to ‘phase out university degrees that do not improve students’ earning potential’.

What the absolute fuck?

Apart from the fact the easiest way to transform education is to actually invest in schools and teachers across the country rather than continue to see anything other than private education as a wasted expense – mainly because they all went to private schools so have a misguided and warped view of what teaching, learning and intelligence actually is or can be – can you imagine what their idea of subjects worthy of a degree actually are?

There will be no arts. [Waste of money]

No history. [Except about Britain, presumably]

No languages. [As it supports Brexit and immigration]

The only thing we’ll see are subjects related to business, maths and maybe law.

I cannot tell you how angry I got reading his ‘plans’.

Those degrees he hates, aren’t worthless. They’re life.

They’re what helps stops society fall down a blackhole of endless repetition, mediocrity and middle-management.

A production line of duplicate attitudes, approaches, values and experiences.

Not only that, those degrees that ‘do not improve earning potential’ contribute far more to the economy than he knows or wants to admit … even with their best efforts of killing it.

Like those gun lobbyists in America whose attitude towards stopping ‘gun attacks’ is to either give more guns out to people or make schools buy bullet proof rooms… not forgetting those pricks who have decided woman can/can’t choose what is right for their own bodies … Sunak and the rest of his Tory scum seem to think the best way to help a generation they’ve actively and purposefully robbed of hope through deliberate acts of underfunding, denial and obstacles is to tell them what they should find valuable and what they should do for the rest of their life.

10 years ago I wrote a post about a Dad who wrote a letter to his son about his impending liberal arts education.

I suggest every Tory – and parent – should read it, even if they will never understand it.

We all want the best for our kids.

We all know education is a vital part of that.

But it blows my mind that so many people – including those in power – fail to understand the better the education we give to all – not just the privileged – the better the chances people, communities and the country as a whole will have to prosper.

Or said another way …

Education can help a nation achieve what all politicians say they are there to make happen.

Which highlights that Tories don’t actually want that to happen. They just want it to happen for people like them. Rich people. Rich, white people.

But here’s the thing, private education does not automatically guarantee smart people come out the other side. Yes, they have more advantage and opportunity … which they would pretty much have anyway given they generally come from affluent families … but there is plenty of evidence to suggest many create more myopic, self-focused and damaged individuals.

And here’s the thing …

In a world that is increasingly encouraging, valuing and producing the same thing over and over again, we need to remember the arts aren’t worthless to society and economies … they create the value in the known and reveal the opportunities in the things Rishi and mob would never see on their own.

Fuck the Tories.

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