Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Corona Virus, Emotion, Family, Holiday, Home, Hope, Jill, London, Love, Loyalty, Luck, Martin Weigel, Mercedes, Nottingham, Nottingham Forest, Otis, Paul, Paula, Rosie, Shelly, Virgin Atlantic
So I was supposed to be back today, but the gods had other plans.
I got covid.
After avoiding it for 2 years.
After moving to the other side of the planet in the middle of the pandemic.
They decided now was the optimum time to give it to me.
And maybe they were right.
Because this trip has – so far – been filled with nothing but miracles and love.
I got to see the wonderful Martin and Mercedes get married in Portugal, surrounded by old friends who I’d not seen in an age.
Including the brilliant Clare Pickens who I love enormously.
Not to mention Nusara and her husband … who I discovered actually exists.
Now it’s fare to say all weddings are special, but this was magnificent.
There’s many reasons for that – from the people, the venue, the moment – but it was something more than that. As I said on the speech I was asked to give at the last minute, we needed this. All of us. Not just Martin and Mercedes … but every person who was – and continues to be – affected by the devastation of COVID. Which means every person in the World because whether it has been small or big challenges, we’ve all had to deal with them.
And from there, I then got to see my beloved Nottingham Forest pull off the miracle.
From bottom of the league with the worst start in 108 years to playing at Wembley after 30 years and getting promoted to the Premiership after 23 years away.
And to be able to do that with my beloved Paul – who I’d not seen for almost 2 years – by my side, was just even more special.
I don’t mind telling you I cried when I saw him.
When he got out his car and gave me one of his massive hugs hello, I clung on and cried. God I’ve missed him.
Don’t get me wrong, I love NZ, but it is the first place I’ve ever lived that genuinely feels ‘far from everything’ … so with that and all that has gone on in the past 2 years – not to mention the fact this is the longest I’ve not seen him in my entire life – I realised how much I’ve missed and needed him around in my life.
So to have that and then watch our beloved Forest get back into the promise land together was – well, just unbelievably special.
Now if you remember the post I wrote when I was setting off on this adventure, you will note I have not mentioned seeing Paula and her baby yet and that’s because of the COVID gods. But they’re still being nice to me …
Because not only has COVID not been too bad for me – especially compared to what some people have suffered – it meant I had to move my flights as NZ travel rules meant they wouldn’t let me catch my plane. And even this set back has a silver lining.
Because of the demand on airlines – and the time it takes for RAT tests to show a negative reading – the earliest flight I could get was next Tuesday. So not only will I have the time to see her before I go, but I also get to see Paul again when we go to the Queen concert we booked back in 2019 that they had to cancel because of COVID.
Seeing Queen with my best friend and his wonderful wife Shelly is like the ultimate gift to end this incredible visit to Europe.
But there’s more …
You see the Queen concert is on the day the UK celebrates the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee.
I mean the royal one, not the musical one.
The reason this is significant is way back in 1977, my Mum and Dad brought me to London to watch the crowds celebrate her Silver Jubilee. I remember it well, despite being so long ago. So to be back in London – albeit by pure coincidence – on a day where England yet again is celebrating a landmark moment in the Queen’s reign takes me back to that day with my parents and that is a feeling I will really treasure.
What this all means is not only has this trip been more wonderful than I ever imagined, it’s ended up giving me more miracles and love than I ever expected. Miracles and love that I needed more than I ever imagined.
So while I can’t wait to get back to my family – and my team – I can honestly say this has been a couple of weeks that are one of the most important and memorable weeks of my life and for that, I thank everyone who made it possible … from Martin and Mercedes, Paul, Nottingham Forest, Colenso, Q-Prime, NIKE, Paula, Queen, Lee Hill and Virgin Atlantic and my brilliant supportive wife and son right through to, bizarrely, covid.
I don’t know how you did it Mum and Dad, but thank you.
So till next week.
R
A few weeks ago I was chatting to George about how mad 2022 has been.
I mean, we thought 2020 was bad.
Then, somehow, 2021 got worse.
And now – with nuclear threats, war in Ukraine and an Oscar slap – it seems the planet just is a glutton for punishment.
I sent George the above image, with the accompanying message:
“Is everyone now up for a fight and anything can be used a weapon?”
There was a pause.
Then I received George’s reply.
And while it made me laugh-out-loud, it did highlight how fucked-up everything is right now.
Because when animals and produce are able to be used as a weapon – albeit a really rubbish weapon – you really feel COVID has made everyone slightly bonkers.
Which may be the worst symptom of the pandemic.
What am I going on about?
This …
Happy Monday.
Try not to punch someone simply because they asked if you could pass the salt.
Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Corona Virus, Creativity, Culture, New Zealand
So 12 months today, I started at Colenso.
Twelve months!!!
A lot has happened over this time.
Highs … lows … weird … funny … successes … lockdowns.
You name it, we’ve had it.
Overall I’ve enjoyed myself.
There’s been some surprises – from how many agencies are in a country of only 5 million people to how bizarrely bitchy the whole industry is, which genuinely makes me laugh out loud – but it’s been good.
Now this is the point where I could go on and talk about some of the things I’ve helped do and some of the things I’m going to do. From the big global business wins we’ve had to the culture book we’re putting out … but instead, I thought it would be far more interesting if I asked my lovely team mates what their first year with me was like.
Was the 7 month wait, worth it … or do they just wish NZ immigration had been more diligent in keeping me away from the border as if I was some sort of human covid pandemic?
Well I got good news and bad news.
If I’m being honest, I expected I’d just cop a load of abuse.
“Annoying”.
“Loud”.
“Terrible clothes”.
Chaos magnet.
But actually, I got things like this:
Shot. of. adrenaline.
Invigorating, motivating, entertaining.
I say ‘things like this’, but …
1. That’s exactly what it said.
2. That’s all I got.
Now the last time I looked, my team was a lot more than 2 people and me which means this …
Most of them couldn’t even be arsed to insult me.
Not even a “old fuck”.
Which as annual reviews goes is the equivalent of ‘get your coat and get the fuck out’
However, on the positive:
1. That’s the sort of undermining I can get behind.
2. They’re stuck with me, so I get my revenge.
So as first anniversaries go, I consider that a win:win.
Except for those 3 corporate toadies with their crawler compliments.
They’re properly doomed.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apple, Brand, Comment, Corona Virus, Death, Home
How the hell is it the 1st November?
It’s amazing that everyone saw 2020 as a year of insanity, but frankly, 2021 has more than lived up to the same billing.
Sure, we now have a vaccine.
Sure, the World is opening up.
But people are still dying and – if you’re in NZ – you have experienced another long lockdown, which makes you feel like it’s still pandemonium out there.
Add in the fact we were living in England at this point last year and now we’re in New Zealand … in a new house, with new cars and a new job, and you’ll understand why in many ways, 2021 has been equally – if not more so – crazy for us.
Talking of crazy …
A few weeks ago, Jill’s iPhone woke us up.
However this time it wasn’t by the alarm.
But with the smell of burning.
Have a look at this …
Yep, it basically caught fire.
No idea how or why, but it did.
Fortunately we woke up before it could get worse.
But nothing says ‘broken’ like an Apple logo in red.
Amazingly it still works.
OK, so some of the buttons are hard to see – and press – but generally it’s good. Well, I say good, if you ignore the huge burn mark on the screen.
Weirdly, someone I know had their iPad do exactly the same thing the day before … the day after Apple announced their new iPhones and iPads to the World.
Now I don’t want to start any conspiracy theories, but an iPhone that explodes for no reason is a pretty good reason to buy a new one.
Which is exactly what we have done.
My god, Apple are devious bastards.
And I – or should I say Jill – are proof a strong brand can make you do idiotic things.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Corona Virus, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Fear
Once upon a time, it felt like there were a lot of movies where a passenger on a plane had to step up and take control because all the pilots had fallen ill.
It would always feature a member of the flight crew discovering the Captain and co-pilot were sick or unconscious, followed by a nervous public announcement asking: “Is there a pilot on board?”
Eventually someone – typically an Alpha male type of man – would step up and the movie would then focus on the story of them being talked through how to land the plane … which they’d do without a loss of life and everyone, especially the glamorous female flight crew member, would fall in love with them.
Sometimes these movies were comedies – Airplane for example – sometimes something more serious, but that was the general premise of all of them.
Now there have been stories where this situation happened, or at least in terms of a passenger having to help land the plane annnnnnnd – as we learnt on the Netflix Fyre Festival documentary – you can learn to fly a plane through Microsoft Flight Simulator … but frankly, the idea of being thrown into a situation you have never been in before, with hundreds of lives at stake and a time limit for success to be executed is something that must be pretty much everyone’s worst nightmare.
Why am I saying this?
Well because I saw the lowest rent version of this situation recently.
Or, said another way, the ‘training wheels’ version of this situation.
This.
Yep, that’s a ‘be talked through your own haircut’.
Be TALKED through.
Not video. Phone.
Hahahahahahahaha.
And then they charge you $14 for it.
What if you have a complicated haircut?
What if you need it colouring and can’t tell if it’s right?
What if you end up spending hours talking them through the cut?
OK … OK … so it’s someone taking the piss, but as funny as it is, there may be people who would actually pay for this.
No seriously.
Not simply because of the state pandemic hairstyles got in – though obviously I wouldn’t know this – but because we shouldn’t forget, there’s restaurants out there who charge you a full restaurant price to cook your own steak on the BBQ.
I’ll never work out why some people think that is a good night out.
Sure you don’t have to wash up, but you do have to pay a lot of cash for something you could have done – for much cheaper – at home.
So you heard it here first. Next pandemic lockdown, invest in the phone haircut business. They will be the future … or they may end up as a z-grade horror movie on Channel 5.