The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


There’s A Fine Line Between Maximum Efficiency And Minimum Effort …

Last week was a week of pissy posts, so I thought I’d write something a little less intense.

Recently I was in Nottingham and while on one of my walks, I passed this …

“What is it?” I hear you cry.

Well, it’s a notice about the busses.

Tied with a crappy piece of string to a branch of a nearby shrub because – I assume – the people who had to put it up thought it would take too much effort, cost or complexity to attach it to the actual bus stop.

You know, so passengers could maybe actually see it.

Now I appreciate Nottingham County Council is basically bankrupt so they can’t be spending money willy-nilly … but what the fuck is the point attaching a notice to a shrub that isn’t even next to the actual bus stop???

It all smacks of someone having to hit their KPI’s …

Where the focus is being able to say you did what was asked rather than did what was needed … even though you know what you did wasn’t in the spirit of the original request.

And while you could blame that on the clarity of the brief, it’s still an exercise in deliberate ignorance.

Or arrogance.

Or idiocy.

It reminds me of the toilets I wrote about in Singapore way back in 2006.

Another example of someone ‘executing’ rather than ‘accomplishing’ …

Also known as ‘modern business practice’ … where it increasingly feels like a job well done and well crafted is viewed as an unnecessary cost, when it can just be churned out without any consideration.

Or worse, when someone does that and then tries to hide their laziness behind ambiguous language or claims of cost efficiency.

Which is why I keep going back to the words a father of an old colleague of mine once said:

“If you haven’t got the time to do it right at the start, when will you have the time?”

When will companies realise that if they treat their customers like fools, they’ll value them accordingly?

The older I get, the more I believe the only thing we have are our standards … and while not everyone will appreciate them, you can be sure they will notice them when everyone else shows they don’t have any.

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What A Load Of Crap …

I met someone recently who said they bet I spent my money on crap.

To be fair to them, our conversation had probably led them to that conclusion based on something I did while I was talking to them.

But I still say it was because I was interested in knowing more about them, rather than just trying to avoid them – which I appreciate sounds like an excuse, but it’s not. Honest.

That said, I appreciate what I did could sound a bit ‘weird’ out of context and while I know many would suggest this is just one more bad purchase decision in a long line of bad purchase decisions [100 robot dogs and a windmill anyone?] … the reality is in both those cases, they – admittedly, amazingly – made me money, which means I’m a genius.

Or it would if they weren’t the exception to the rule.

But while I am sadly much more sensible with my spending these days [comparatively speaking] the reality is I do like buying things that appeal to me emotionally more than logically.

Not because I’m a psychopath.

And not because I have bottomless piles of cash.

But because I like going down rabbit holes of discovering what other people feel are important to do – even if I don’t initially understand why they would do that.

Which is my way of explaining my latest purchase. This …

Yep, it’s a book on toilets. Toilets from all around the World.

And why would I do such a thing?

Well, it’s not because it’s a book … it’s because it celebrates people who decided they wanted to do something special with the most functional room in their house or building.

At a time where efficiency and optimization are the most biggest influences in seemingly every decision being made these days, a book on magical bathrooms is – in some way – the politest way to say ‘fuck you’ to all of that.

A reminder you can be, to paraphrase Mr Weigel, functional as hell and not be boring as fuck.

We need more of that … especially at a time where even the Cannes Lions seems to have forgotten about the role and importance of creativity that sustains over time, rather than just communicates in the moment.

So here’s to a book of magical toilets all around the World.

It’s a greater reminder and educator on the value of creativity than almost 99.6% of the hot takes on Linkedin.

Including this one, haha.

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Why British Airways Is The Mini Metro Of Airlines …

The next few weeks are big for me.

My birthday.
Jill’s birthday.
Paul’s birthday.
The World Cup starting.
Trips to LA, Milan, Berlin, London and Amsterdam.
Meetings and dinners with legends of film, fashion and music.
And a bunch of lovely planners in Germany, hahaha.

I’d love to pretend I’m nonchalant about it all, but that would be a massive fucking lie as I’m exited to fuck about it all – bar my birthday.

But this post isn’t about my impending weeks of mega-madness, it’s about the madness of dealing with British Airways.

I am in the incredibly lucky situation of having someone pay for all my flights.

Better yet, they are paying for them to all be Business Class.

I booked on Air New Zealand, who – because of the flight itinerary – also scheduled some of the flights on BA.

So far. So good.

Having chosen my seats on Air NZ, I went to BA to do the same with them … except my booking reference didn’t work.

I then tried logging into my British Airways Frequent Flyer account, but got the same response.

No problems, maybe they use a different booking reference, so I contacted Air NZ to ask – and they told me, they use the same number and so it should work.

So I tried again. Nothing.
So I tried calling. No answer.
So I tried their chatbot. No reply.

It was getting frustrating so I went on the website to see if there was another way to contact them and there was.

A customer service contact button. So I clicked on it and what did I find when I did that …

A postal address.

A fucking postal address!

They want me to write – from New Zealand – to work out why my booking reference number doesn’t work. Mind blowing.

But it gets worse …

You see, I went back to Air NZ and told them the situation and they said they would talk to BA on my behalf. And they did.

So after 3 attempts for the website to accept my login details, I go on there to choose my business class seats and what do I find?

Yep, they want to CHARGE ME for choosing a seat.

This on top of the fact it has already cost a fuck-ton of cash.

Now I appreciate this is a first world problem.
I totally get I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to experience this.
But it blows-my-fucking mind that BA wants to charge me even more money to choose which seat I fly in – especially when airlines like Air NZ, let you do it when you fly economy.

Now I should point out BA have said once check-in is open – ie: 24 hours before the flight leaves – I can choose my seat for free, but apart from that still being bollocks, I am pretty sure when I try to do it, they’ll tell me I have to mail in my request by post.

Uncommon have done some amazing work for British Airways.

They have elevated their standing and prestige with some beautiful work.

And the line they created – A British Original – sounds great, until you remember that the British Leyland Mini Metro and also one of those and was a fucking shit experience as well.

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Everything Old Is New Again. It’s Just The People Saying It Don’t Know It Or Are Financially Incentivized To Not Acknowledge It …

John Dodds sent me this a few weeks ago:

LLMs reward clarity and credibility. Your brand language should be concise, benefit-led, and evidence-backed. In a world of agentic commerce in which AI mediates consumer choice, trust shifts from being a feeling about a brand to an attribute of its data.

Why he sent it to me is unknown, but he has been doing that for decades and I always appreciate it.

However the key for me in what he sent is specifically this bit:

‘Trust shifts from being a feeling about a brand to an attribute of its data’.

There’s 2 reasons for that:

The first is people are more likely to connect to a brand based on the quality of their understanding on who they are interacting and/or engaging with [ie: the data they hold on the needs/wants/desires/loves of their audience].

Second is it’s pretty much always been the case.

It’s why there’s brands people know and there’s brands people go out of their way to have in their life.

It’s also why there’s arguably been a reduction in the amount of brands that people ‘love’ – probably because instead of focusing on who they are, who they’re for and what the culture around their category is doing or care about, they’ve fallen for the lowest common denominator, paint-by-numbers, repeat-for-every-category-and-audience, self-interest, outsourced-for-profit schtick of ‘guru’s’ who have never built, worked for or created communication for brands that people adore and care deeply about.

Or said another way …

Here’s another example of someone championing ‘new’, without realizing they’re just rehashing the old. Probably because they don’t know it, understand it or know what to do with it to make it magical rather than just even more functional.

The old adage I always return to is this:

If you want people to give a shit about you, maybe start by giving a shit about them.

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It Doesn’t Matter How Much You Care About Something If You Hand It To Someone Who Doesn’t Understand It Or Doesn’t Care About …

For 50 years, I never dressed particularly fashionably.

I had a ‘style’, but it was never one people looked at and thought, “I want to dress like that”.

Questionable t-shirts, ripped jeans and a pair of birkies tend to have that reaction.

Part of this is because growing up, I was never exposed to anything ‘fancy’. Despite my Mum being Italian and going to Italy a lot … my version of designer clothing was stuff from Burton’s and C&A and nothing more.

But over the years, I got more and more exposed to the high-end fashion houses.

Projects with Prada and Chanel introduced me to people, stories and experiences that taught me there was far more to who they were than big prices and even bigger pretentiousness. But even that was not enough to convince me this was something for me.

Hell, I still remember the utter shock I felt when I heard a mate tell me they’d spent 70 quid on a t-shirt.

Sure, this was a 1000 years ago, but back then I didn’t know how that was even possible.

T-shirts were 3 for a few quid from Asda so what on earth could justify 70 pounds for a single tee???

And that was how things carried on for decades until 2 events happened in my life:

I got healthy and I started working for the most successful and influential luxury and street-fashion investor on the planet.

And with those 2 things, everything changed …

I got to go behind the scenes of the highest level of the industry.
I got to talk to the creative directors of the houses and labels who define global fashion.
I got to meet the people who create, curate and craft the experiences that define how fashion makes us feel.

But most of all, (1) I could now actually fit in their clothes and (2) my client sent me shitloads of them for free.

Of course, I appreciate how lucky I am for that – and I massively appreciate that they were doing it to ‘keep encouraging me on my health journey’. But – and I say this with utter love and respect for them – I can’t help the real reason is because they didn’t want me turning up to their big meetings and fancy events dressed like a trainwreck. What maybe triggered this was the time I found myself sitting next to Phoebe Philo, ex-creative director of Celine and founder of her own label, who – on seeing my t-shirt, featuring a cat logo – said:

“I love this, who is it by?”

To which I replied:

“My son made it, and that’s our cat”.

To be fair, she was brilliant but I can’t help but imagine she was also thinking, “who the fuck is this nutter I’m next to?”

Bit like the time I was in the lift with members of the Prada family.

They were – literally – the best dressed people I had ever seen in my entire life.

Me? I was wearing ripped jeans, some Nike’s and a hoodie probably from Asda.

Again, they were kind, warm and welcoming – and never once did I feel judged, in fact the opposite – but it was not long after that I started receiving a lot of fancy clothes – hahaha.

But the point of this post is not that I am more fashionably dressed person than I’ve ever been in my life.

Nor is it that I am one of the luckiest bastards on the planet.

No, it’s that the last few years have completely changed my perspective of the industry.

Where once I may have just seen it as pricey and poncy, I now have a deep appreciation, understanding and respect it..

The creativity, the craft, the inspiration, the statements, the history, the details, the obsession.

Put simply, the belief that EVERY detail matters, no matter how big or small.

Steve Jobs once talked about the importance of ‘painting behind the fence’ – the belief that even if no one ever sees or recognizes the care and consideration you have put into your work, you know and that matters – and in many ways, he could have been describing the luxury fashion industry.

You only has to watch the Netflix Documentary ‘7 Days’ – specifically the episode about Chanel’s couture catwalk show – and you’ll see how much thought goes into how every single detail is presented.

Not simply because image is important to them, but because they want to honour the work they have created.

Make sure it is represented, seen and felt exactly as intended and created.

It is a similar approach Metallica have to their music.

It’s why they bought the best vinyl printing plants in the World.
It’s why they invested in the best live concert sound-system in the World.
It’s why they own the rights to all the music they create and have ever created.

It’s not ego. It’s not hyping. It’s about ensuring they honour the work they’ve made so everyone experiences it exactly as intended, versus letting someone else determine that.

So where the fuck is this all going?

Well, it’s because recently I saw this.

Yep, it’s a billboard for the movie Devil Wears Prada 2.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT IMAGE???

How is a movie centered around the world of luxury fashion and media using such a badly designed, stretched and distorted billboard like that?!

Looking online, I can tell you that’s not the official image – at least as far as I can tell – plus I should point out the image has accentuated the lines of the digital billboard, which weren’t visible to the human eye.

But that aside, the image used looks like someone at the local distributor, media agency or billboard company decided, for reasons I don’t understand, to create – or adapt – their own version of the official artwork; the result of which is a visual that makes Devil Wears Prada 2 seems more Poundland than Prada.

Which highlights two very important reminders:

1. Everything communicates who you are and what you value.
2. For the best result, make sure all who work for you – or with you –know who you are and what you value.

I’m not saying price or speed doesn’t matter, of course it does … but what price does sloppiness, misunderstanding or a need-for-speed end up costing?

And to those who say that doesn’t matter, because no one cares … I say this in return.

Not only do you not understand marketing …
Not only do you not care about your company …
You sure as shit don’t understand your customers.

Which gives us one final thing to remember …

For all the systems, processes and marketing practice methodologies you can use … if you forget who its for and what its for, then you’re truly wasting your money.

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