Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Birthday, Death, Family, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad
Today would be Mum’s 94th birthday.
And even though she died in 2015 – aged 83 – there is a part of me that still thinks she could have lived to this age if her heart operation hadn’t gone the way it did.
Not that the surgery was bad … the problem was that Mum’s heart condition was caused because of an illness she had as a small child and no one had realised its impact until things started to go a different way in the operation than anyone expected or had planned for.
But if that hadn’t happened … I fully expect Mum would be alive.
Actually, not just alive, but living.
Slower – for sure – but still curious, interested and engaged in life because as I’ve said many times, she always told me to be interested in what others are interested in, which was a belief she didn’t just follow, but lived every day.
In a perfect world, she’d now be living with us in NZ … and despite her being fiercely independent, I think she would have done it.
I even think she would have loved it.
Being nearer only son.
Seeing her only grandson.
Chatting to her daughter in law.
Patting the lovely – but slightly stupid – Bonnie.
God I would have loved to have witnessed this. To have witnessed her living in the peace and tranquility of our house in the trees. And while I am sure she would have occasions where she felt far from home – be that Italy or England – I really believe that would be countered by the safety, comfort and warmth she’d experienced being close to people who love her and that she loved.
I always remember how much she loved me coming home to visit her.
How she loved how the house because a cauldron of noise as I – and my friends – filled it with laughter and chatter.
And while we would have ensured she had her own space for her own life, I suspect that she would have spent more time with us than alone. Or she would once we told her we loved her hanging out with us – as I also suspect she’d be so worried she was crowding us out, she would stay out of her way.
Because Mum always was doing more for others than herself.
Looking out for them.
Wanting to do the best for them.
And while that is kind and generous and loving – I wanted her to feel cared for.
I wanted her to feel loved, protected and put first.
And while we had our moments of niggles as I tried to do this for her – while she did all she could to resist it – towards the end we had found a place of harmony and understanding which meant the world to me, because that is how we were for most of our life together and how I would have loved to have seen our life together if we had ever been able to bring her to NZ.
But alas that didn’t happen.
In fact, when Mum died a lot that I am quoting in this fantasy extention of my family life, hadn’t happened either.
We hadn’t left China and moving to NZ wasn’t even on the radar.
Hell, we had to move to America and England before that was to happen – and even then that was motivated as much by COVID as it was by Colenso.
Then there’s the fact we had only just had Otis … and don’t even get me started on Bonnie.
And yet, that image of Mum with us resides in my heart. I’d truly have loved it and so today – in her honour – I’ll be cooking a dinner that I know she would have wanted to cook for us.
Nothing fancy, but a true Italian pasta sauce – simple and yet delicious as hell.
Because the one thing Mum taught me was that love isn’t complicated, it’s just showing you care.
Happy Birthday Mum, I love you so much.
I wish I had more photos of you that I could use in these posts.
The fact I don’t just reinforces how you have gone and how much I miss you.
So a big kiss to you and to Dad.
You’re forever with me.
Rx
Filed under: Comment
If last week was a week of depressing posts, then this week will be a week of slightly less depressing posts.
A reason for this is because tomorrow is what would be Mum’s 94th birthday.
NINETY BLOODY FOUR!!
But that’s for tomorrow … instead, we’ll start the week with something that ensures everyone is in a good mood for tomorrow, which is the only reason I’m posting this clip – because it made me laugh and given it’s a Monday, who doesn’t need that?!
See you tomorrow for my Mum.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Brands, Career, Cliches, Colleagues, Communication Strategy, Conformity, Consultants, Corporate Gaslighting, Creative Development, Creativity, Egovertising, Logic, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Marketing Practice, Marketing Science, Mediocrity, Privilege, Professionalism, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
So, this is the last working day of October and on Monday, we’re in November.
NOVEMBER?!
Thank fuck because I’ve found this year very, very difficult and November means it’s almost over.
I don’t really know why I have such a problem with 2026 … let’s be honest, I’ve had another year that many people would love to have experienced – not to mention the fact that compared to last year, my health has been in a much better state than it has been for the past few years.
And yet this year has felt a struggle.
Like walking through treacle.
Struggling for oxygen.
A difficulty to ignite energy and enthusiasm for stuff.
Not for everything … but given the one thing I’ve never struggled to have is energy to do stuff that excites me, it’s quite the revelation.
So why is this the case?
Who knows …
I do think the state of the World has a lot to do with it.
As has the almost shameless irresponsibility of the tech companies to destroy the future for all of us.
And then the equally repulsive behaviour of so many leaders in our industry who love acting like business pioneers while acting and behaving like the spoilt, greedy, selfish psychopathic children they are.
And yet despite my incredibly privileged and fortunate position, I am being deeply affected by it.
Not just for my personal situation – which is admittedly far better than most – but also for the millions of talented people who are either being discarded by the industry or are walking into it with high hopes and wide eyes.
Thank god, there are still some good people, companies and clients out there.
Who value quality rather than easy.
Who want to grow through standards rather than shortcuts.
Who care about the people who work for them rather than see them as an annoying cost.
But it feels like there are less of those than ever before … though that could be because the momentum of the industries publicity seems to be focused on the promotion of bullies and loudmouths, which makes me angry as anyone who doesn’t subscribe to their point-of-view ends up feeling there is no place for them and start to questioning if the industry is for them.
I’ve talked to so many of these people this year.
Struggling to work out where they fit in.
Wondering if there is a future they can grasp.
Confused why the standards they’re being asked to work to are so low.
It’s really that bad for so many and while it would be easy to say they’re complaining – the issue is with us, not them.
Which leads to this week’s posts.
I appreciate anyone who has read them may ask “is Rob OK?”
And the reality is I am … but I’m tired.
Tired of the hypocrisy.
Tired of the exploitation.
Tired of the pundits and theory pushers.
Tired of the gaslighting where everyone says nothing is wrong.
This industry used to be full of different voices, backgrounds, experiences and ideas. But now? Well now it feels everyone is adopting the same methodologies and approaches pushed by the same few people.
Worse, the same few people who either have never done the work they are so loud in criticising or have a self-interest in wanting others to adopt their ‘system’.
Earlier this year I spoke at the Berlin Strategy Conference.
At the beginning of my talk, I said how I keep hearing people talk about how we can make the industry better, but no one ever asks what I think is the critical question:
Are we having fun?
Not for superficial bullshit reasons but because if we’re not having fun, why are we doing it and – even more importantly – why do we think we’ll get paid and respected for it.
I appreciate not everything is going to be fun and frolics, but given our job is to use creativity to help society not just know about a brand or product, but to give a shit about it, means if we’re not enjoying making the work, you can be sure-as-fuck people won’t enjoy being exposed to it.
I appreciate systems, processes, formats and rules have an important role to play, but when they end up dictating WHAT we do and HOW we do it, then it’s hardly surprising the work we make isn’t just increasingly the same but is lacking the energy and intrigue that can deeply connect and motivate society at large.
That the value of creativity to inspire, encourage, motivate and engage people has been replaced by the ability to fire-hosing of the public with whatever self-serving, monotone message a company says all you need to know about the rise of consultant-think.
Add to this the fact companies spent over ONE TRILLION DOLLARS on media over the last 12 months and surely someone should be asking just how smart all these supposed smart systems and formats actually are.
Again, not because they don’t have any value, but because they definitely don’t provide all the value they love to claim.
So, here’s to the end of month 10 of 2026 … we’re much closer to [hopefully] ending a year of big egos and small thinking.
On the bright side, it’s the perfect conditions for a truly scary Halloween.
Always a silver lining … ahem.
Filed under: Advertising, Airports, Attitude & Aptitude, Communication Strategy, Corporate Gaslighting, Embarrassing Moments, Empathy, Tourism, Toxic Positivity
If you don’t want to read all this shit … just skip to the ad [and the point of this post] at the bottom of this page.
However, if you want the context and backstory … read on:
So I saw this ad yesterday. Yes, yesterday – which means this may be the most topical post I’ve written in 20 years.
And while it is supposedly for Emirates Airlines, the reality is it’s a Dubai Government ad.
Look I get how important tourism is to the nation …
I also appreciate how instrumental Dubai has been in helping change the perspectives of the Middle East …
But while they have been incredibly successful in doing that, the situation in the Middle East has impacted its appeal … as have the claims the Government are clamping down on anyone who uses social media to express a perspective that doesn’t match the image the powers-that-be want to present to the World.
I have friends who have/are living there and it’s fascinating talking to the ones who left and the ones who are still there.
It’s like talking to people who reside o different planets …
And while some of that may be because things have changed in the time they have gone, I can’t help but feel that for the guys still there – who talk to me with a robotic smile – the reasons are either:
1. They fear the possible implications of being found to have said anything negative to anyone.
2. It allows them to deflect having to ask themselves, ‘why are we still here?’
Or said another way, there’s commercial reasons to be deliberately positive.
Could be wrong … may not be such a binary answer … but whatever the reality, it definitely isn’t all Unicorns and Rainbows over there, which is why this ad blows my mind.
Because not does Emirates/Dubai Government fail to acknowledge any element of the situation happening in the region, they basically are doubling-down and saying the World’s media are lying to everyone.
Look at the headline on the fake newspaper at the beginning of the ad!!
It’s straight out the Trump playbook … deny, deflect, dismiss.
OK … OK … so they do say ‘some of the stories are even true’.
And then add ‘we know Dubai is not everyone’s cup of tea’.
But not only do they gloss over it faster than Usain Bolt after 19 espresso’s, they adopt a tone that suggests anyone who is not convinced by their words is a parochial idiot.
Or said another way, even more gaslighting.
And while that approach will probably convince some, for others they will be left asking ‘how do you trust a nation that’s so willing to lie to itself?’
There were so many other ways they could have done this.
Approaches that could have built bridges and provided clarity rather than just gaslight and create greater doubt.
[For example my ‘8 mile’ strategy approach could have been one way to tackle it]
But instead they went for this condescending, patronizing, ego-satisfying rubbish …
Another example of an organization who views ‘understanding audiences’ as an inconvenience when all they want to do is tell people what they want them to think.
Which is sad as Dubai is an interesting place. Full of wonderful people and with a far richer and more interesting culture and history than this work conveys.
So enjoy … it’s a great example of crisis management, wrapped in ego and denial.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Dad, Death, Gambling, Goodbye, Life, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad
This is a weird post but I watched something recently that reminded me how grateful I am I was present for two of the worst moments of my life.
When I was younger, the idea of being with my parents when they were about to die was horrific to me. Not because I didn’t love my parents – but because I did.
Massively.
I’ve written a lot about how wonderful they were.
How grateful I am to have had them as my Mum and Dad … for their unshakeable love, support, encouragement and care – even when I pushed my luck with all that to the absolute extreme.
And it was that force of love that made me think being there when they were about to die, would be the worst pain I could ever experience.
And I was right. It is the worst pain. But it would have been even worse if I’d not been there when it was the end.
Because being with loved ones at the final goodbye is not really about you. It’s about them.
Letting them know they can go without being alone.
That the people who care for them the most are there to give them the love, support and acceptance they need to make their final step.
Is it horrible?
That doesn’t even come close to summing up how bad it feels.
Is it important?
Neither does that …
Because being with a loved one at the most tragic of times helps prepare you for welcoming in the memories of the best of times.
It won’t happen immediately.
It won’t happen without incredible pain and sadness.
It may – like it did for me – require therapy to help you deal with it.
But it will happen.
Because underpinning all of it is the knowledge you were there when they needed you most.
They say when you put a dog down, the last thing they look for is you.
That you are the person who has always given them the sense of safety and love that lets them live the happiest of lives.
Of course, humans are not dogs … but that sentiment feels right.
The ultimate demonstration of love is being with someone at the most painful of times you could both ever face.
And while I appreciate that some people will be physically unable to get there … and while I truly understand the idea of doing it is horrific and tragic … I implore you, if there is a chance to say goodbye at the final curtain – do it.
It is OK to feel scared.
It is OK to be upset.
It is OK to not know what to do or say.
But I assure you, going will make you feel better in the long run.
Because at the end, we all want to feel we showed how much someone mattered to us and we all want to know we meant something to someone … which is why I am eternally grateful I was able to be at my Mum and Dad’s side when it was the end for them. And while it took a long time to move past the final days that relived over and over again in my head – and while I hate I have to refer to the same few photographs I have of them over and over again – I am so happy my mind is now filled with the colour and joy they added to my life.
That they still do.
And I know they would love that too.
