Filed under: 2026, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Birthday, Dad, Daddyhood, Death, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, Otis
I’m not back, but today would have been my Dad’s 88th birthday so I had to mark the occasion.
Eighty Eight!!
That means he’s been gone 28 years. Or said another way, literally half my life.
HALF! That is both wild and seemingly impossible.
And yet it’s true, which is why I’m extra happy he’s been in my thoughts a lot recently. Not that he was ever out-my-mind, but his presence has been more – errrrm – present and I like it.
I loved being an only child.
I was spoilt with love, support, care and attention.
I never wanted for brothers or sisters and always adored the company of Mum and Dad.
Even during my angst-ridden teenage years.
I feel extremely grateful for that … though it was only when I saw the relationship some of my friends had with their parents, that I truly sppreciated how lucky I was.
Which is why when my parents died, the loss was overwhelming.
In some ways, it felt like I experienced their death twice.
Because while Dad was first and Mum followed 16 years later – there was a moment immediately after Mum was gone that I truly realized – and felt – that I was truly alone.
It felt weird and sad and scary …
A strange mix of abandonment and feeling like an orphan.
It was a very challenging time, even though I was an adult with my own family.
In fact, if it wasn’t for them, I genuinely wonder how long it would have taken for me to feel I had got back on an even keel, because even with them, it took years.
The thing with death – as I’ve written many times before – is that while people are very supportive towards you at the moment of loss, within 24 hours they have generally all moved on with their lives. That’s not meant as a diss … they have their own issues and challenges to deal with … but the impact of that is you feel even more alone.
But if I think I had it bad when Dad died, my poor Mum had it worse.
Not only had she lost her husband of 35 years – a man she had been taking care of 24/7 for over 3 years after he suffered multiple debilitating strokes – she also saw her only son leave her to go back to Australia where he lived.
When I try to put into words the sense of isolation and loss I felt when I realized I no longer had any ‘real world’ parental support, I think of how Mum must have felt those first few days after losing Dad and feel so sad that maybe I didn’t really understand it until too late.
Didn’t really understand it till I wrote this post.
But as I said, my Dad – and Mum – have been on my mind a lot recently.
Or should I say, part of my energy.
It’s given me a real sense of comfort and warmth rather than just a feeling of loss.
They come up in conversation.
Everyday moments trigger good, funny and special memories with them.
When I talk about them, it in a weird blend of past and present tense.
Put simply, it’s lovely.
A feeling I’m closer to them than I’ve been in years.
Of course, I would do anything to still have them around … have them be part of my life and my families … share, experience and build more moments and memories … but as dead parents go, this is quite a wonderful period I am having with them.
Which is why today – on what would be Dad’s 88th birthday – I won’t just be thinking of him and feeling the loss of him not being around any longer, I’ll be talking to him and letting him know that despite being gone half my life, the love and impact he had on me for those first 26 years of my life still have a grip of comfort, adoration and respect.
Which as proof of doing a good job as a parent goes, is pretty much the pinnacle.
So happy birthday Dad. I still feel very lucky I get to call you that.
Rx
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Birthday, Jill, Nottingham, Paul
After my birthday and Jill’s birthday – today is the last birthday of those closest to me.
Paul.
I have to say I love how close they all are to each other, it makes them – and us – all feel extra special and close.
At least to me.
And while I am on the other side of the planet from him these days, I will see him soon when I pop in on my latest multi-country stupid trip in a few weeks.
I can’t wait.
Not just because it’s been a year since I last saw him, but because we have – as I wrote here – gone through a pretty tough time for the first time in our friendship.
But while that has been challenging, it never challenged what he means to me.
As I have said many times, now my parents have died – he is the person that has been longest in my life.
And shit like that matters. Especially when you don’t have many people you call ‘a friend’.
Which is why I am extra happy to celebrate his birthday today and very excited to share some time with him soon.
Because if life is a game of luck, where he is concerned, I won.
So happy birthday my dear Paul …
Because while every bit of trouble I’ve ever got into my life can be traced back to you … so can all my greatest childhood memories.
And I look forward to making more with you for years to come.
Love ya Hilly.
Today is Jill’s birthday.
You may be wondering why I’ve used a photo of Elvis, but keep reading and all will be revealed.
Anyway, because I know she never reads this blog, I can tell you it’s a big birthday for her.
Not that she looks it …
I still remember when we first started going out and I was rushed to hospital for an emergency operation.
She came into the hospital to see me and asked where I was, to which the nurse said, “Are you here to see your Dad?”
I mean, I knew my illness had made me look rough … but I didn’t know I looked that rough, haha!
Anyway, she is someone who never asks for anything …
Or wants to be made a fuss of.
For her, happiness is being surrounded by the family who love her and not being mentioned on this blog, haha.
And while I can definitely promise her the former, I am sorry to say I can’t do the latter … because this is a significant birthday and it needs to be celebrated and referenced.
And while our gift to signify the day doesn’t involve Elvis – as it did for her 30th and 40th – it does involve something that hopefully lets her feel just how special she is to me and to us, because if there’s anyone we want to know that – it’s her.
So Happy birthday my dear Jill, we hope you have an amazing day and we’re so lucky to have you in our lives.
Rx
So today it’s my birthday.
I’m 56.
FIFTYFUCKINGSIX.
I’ve never felt my age, but right now, I can’t even comprehend how old I am.
Just 4 years off 60.
Or said another way, 4 years from being the same age as Dad when he died.
For years that number haunted me … and it will probably be very emotional for me, when I turn that age … but right now, I feel closer to 40 than 60.
Part of it is my attitude … or as Peter Mensch say’s, my “immunity from maturity”, hahaha.
But another part – and I appreciate how superficial this is – is how I look.
Don’t worry, I don’t think I’m Brad Pitt or anything – I’m more like ‘Arm Pit’ – but recently I was watching something with Otis when a 50 year old man was interviewed and I caught Otis staring at me.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Nothing. I just can’t work out how he looks so much older than you, when you’re older than him”.
He said it with an air of confusion, consideration and happiness.
Which made me happy.
Not necessarily because I look – at least to him – younger than some 50 year old on the television, but because it means I’m healthier so I’m more likely to be around him him longer than I once may have been.
And while even that may not be as long as I hope or wish … to me, that’s the greatest gift I could ever receive. Albeit this weekend, I’ll be watching the start of the World Cup and eating like ‘old Rob’, hahaha.
Have a great weekend, I know I will be.
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Creativity, Culture, Food, Health, Nottingham Forest, Walking
I’ve always subscribed to the view taking what you do seriously, doesn’t mean you have to take yourself seriously.
Not because it justifies my ‘immaturity tendencies’ [though that helps] but because the act of creativity – commercial or otherwise – requires the ability to be silly, stupid and open to the unlikely or ridiculous.
Not because creativity is superficial, but because it enables the possibilities of it.
For new ideas.
For new perspectives.
For new considerations.
For new collaborations.
For new connections.
For new thinking.
Some don’t get this, because they see creativity as a ‘wrapper’ that can be applied at will to whatever they want.
They tend to be the same people who view the creative process as one big ‘inefficiency’, without realising those ‘inefficiencies’ are the very things that can lead to the magic they seek.
This is not entirely their fault, because – let’s be honest – our industry often doesn’t invite them to be a part of it.
But then, by the same token, you can’t blame them when there is often a reluctance to value that process so it ends up being a hinderance.
It’s why I do find Colenso quite the anomaly.
For 5 decades they’ve been pulling off the ridiculous and impossible.
From building a restaurant in a tree to promote the Yellow Pages … to creating a skin cream to encourage women to check their breasts for lumps … to creating a new fuel for cars to sell beer … to developing technology to help dogs get adopted … to getting the public making ads to promote a low-cost telco, Skinny … to getting families to roast each other so they could open up about their mental health. To name very. very few.
Put simply, Colenso has always been about using creativity to solve problems, rather than create advertising to promote the problem – it’s one of the reasons I revered them long before I joined them – and a big reason for how they have been able to do that is their appreciation of the commercial value of happy accidents.
Not holding things so tightly you can’t let other things in.
Not being so precious you won’t share your thoughts with others.
Not being so locked down it’s impossible to evolve, edit or pivot.
That doesn’t mean we’re a bunch of ‘pleasers’ – truth be told, we’re always a bunch of opinionated buggers – it’s simply that by not taking ourselves too seriously, we stop the ‘process’ of creativity becoming so efficient, it impacts and limits the possibilities of how we solve our clients problems so we can do things people will actually give-a-fuck about.
Or said another way …
Not taking ourselves seriously is most serious way we can be a valuable partner to our clients.
I say all this because I recently had my 5th anniversary at Colenso, and they marked the occasion with some gifts that perfectly capture our ‘seriously unserious’ spirit.
First they got me a bridge climb.
And while that will be a magical and memorable experience, the real reason behind it was to unsubtly tell me they would really like it if I stopped walking 20+kms during the day so I could start doing my work meetings in the office, rather than on the streets.
Secondly they got me a weekly home delivery of sourdough and butter.
Amazing. Except it is not because it’s the food I miss the most – since I got healthy – but because it’s the only guaranteed way to make me have a smile on my face.
And lastly, they organized a personal message from Nottingham Forest legend, Mark Crossley.
Not because I love Forest with all my heart, but because their results affect my mood, and this season I’ve basically been a miserable bastard, bar the last few weeks.
See … piss-taking perfect presents.
But even that doesn’t really capture the tone of how we operate.
But this does …
It’s the card from the CEO of Colenso, Ange …
Whose ‘loving’ words show we share a desk and my health consciousness is not good for her hearing, haha.
So to all the rats of Colenso – past and present, thank you.
You’re not serious. But you are very, very clever. [And a bit kind]