Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Bank Ads, Business, Customer Service, Emotion, Empathy, Finance
This has been a week of big posts. And tomorrow is going to be mega-big … as I’m going to be away for a couple of weeks and given there’ll be no posts, I have a lot of stuff I need to bang on about before I get on that plane.
I know … I know … the thought of that fills you with dread [me too, to be honest] so to make us all feel ready for that nightmare situation, I thought I’d write something a bit smaller … a bit lighter. Albeit it revolves around identify theft. Specifically mine.
You see a few weeks ago, I received this:
It was real.
Apparently someone had got hold of my NZ Credit Card details and was attempting to buy stuff with it in the US. Specifically DoorDash food.
Personally, if someone is going to steal credit card info, you’d think they’d spend your cash on something massive and ridiculous … and certainly not something where you can easily trace where they are by simply following where their food is being delivered. I’m almost insulted to be honest. I remember the good, ol’ days where my credit cards were used to buy computers at Apple in NY and – best of all – tickets for the Orient Express.
But I digress … because in this situation, the bank noticed straight away and shut any spend down before they could go to extravagant.
So far, so good.
Understandably they wanted me to call them to confirm information … so I was just about to dial when I noticed their fraud departments ‘opening hours’.
I must admit, my first reaction was that it felt a bit strange.
Surely a fraud department would be open 24/7? Ready to respond.
But no.
Worse, as all this happened at 9:30pm on a Friday evening, I was in financial no-mans-land.
To be fair, when I called them the next morning, they were very helpful – but then they informed me that my card was now blocked forever and it would take approx 5 working days to get sent a new one.
Five days.
And just as I was about to plead with them to speed it up, I suddenly realised that this meant I wouldn’t be able to buy any more wifi/gadget trash off instagram. Given in the previous week, I’d purchased an ‘ink stamp’ of my cat, a wi-fi/automated Rubik’s cube and 500 stickers of Nottingham Forest … this was an act of mercy.
Which leads me to this.
Banks have a bad reputation.
A lot of it is entirely justified.
But sometimes – just sometimes – you feel they’re actually being proactive and it feels shocking. Good shocking … but still shocking. Maybe they should try it more often, they may be amazed what it does for their reputation and loyalty.
Filed under: Advertising, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Bank Ads, Brand Suicide, Creativity, Culture, Education, Finance, Management, Marketing, Money, Premium
OK, so Friday’s post was an April Fool joke.
I say that because some people seemed to believe it until they got to the very last line. Which obviously made me very happy … no doubt helped by the fact April Fools Day started upto 20+ hours before some parts of the World.
But today’s post is real, even though it’s even more of a joke.
It starts with a tweet I saw a few weeks ago …
I don’t mind admitting, I laughed my socks off when I saw it.
Because it’s true.
The amount of people – read, men – who talk about crypto like it’s a guaranteed money earner despite [1] not looking into how it actually works [2] realising there are a vast amount of choices that are out there and [3] all have experienced incredible and – in many cases – huge losses, is amazing.
But I also kind-of get it.
Because the sniff of winning big can be intoxicating.
Especially if you don’t think you otherwise have a chance.
And for many people they don’t …
Not because they’re not smart or talented or capable … but because life is unbelievably unfair.
Which is why for all the questions that need to be answered about the role, legitimacy and even legality of certain crypto, the reality is many people think the chance of making it big on what is essentially a giant wheel of roulette is still better than the chance of doing OK following ‘traditional’ paths.
I get it. I was in that situation.
I was living in Australia, broke … with a seriously ill Dad and a Mum who couldn’t pay the bills.
I didn’t know what I was going to do when someone I knew asked if I wanted to get involved in a pyramid scheme.
Out of desperation – and a belief I didn’t think I had anything to lose – I said yes.
Of course that is mad, because I did have a lot to lose, from the initial ‘investment’ to the chance to get out of my situation within a year.
I ended up being very lucky.
Because I got in very early. I made back many times my initial investment within 2 weeks.
[I should point out that while I was able to help my Mum and Dad out as soon as this happened, I never told them what I’d done. Part of this was because they’d have been fuming and part of it was because it was hard enough to get them to accept presents from me, so if they knew, then I’d never be able to financially help them out again]
And while the time between ‘investing’ and ‘vesting’ were some of the most exciting, intense and scary weeks of my life, the minuscule chance of making something sizeable out of it drowned out the highly likely chance of losing all of it.
Would I do it again?
No. I am in the incredibly fortunate position to be in a good position now. But I get why people would do it and why crypto is so tempting for so many.
Nothing brought this home than some information Natwest Bank sent me last week.
It was their interest rates.
I say ‘interest’ but what I mean is arrogance.
Have a look at this …
What the hell?
Seriously, what the absolute hell?
Do they think this is good?
Do they think this is going to make people want to invest with them?
Even with their ‘bonus’ percentage, their ‘best’ rate is 0.05%.
And that’s their best. The rest are 0.01%.
ZERO POINT ZERO ONE PERCENT.
Not just many times less than inflation.
Not just many times less than the amount you’ll be charged in fees.
But less than fuck all.
Why would anyone choose to invest their money with a bank?
And I mean anyone … from someone with one pound to one million.
Seriously, you somehow manage to get a million quid and Natwest will reward you with 100 pounds in interest.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
So much for all their talk of ‘caring about your future’.
Of course, they think they can get away with it because they think they hold all the cards.
And right now they probably do.
But for all their advertising claims that are seemingly designed to make the board of directors happy rather than their customers, the vast majority seem to have failed to grasp the one thing that could undermine them all.
People go where the chances are.
Doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect. Doesn’t matter what the research says. If what’s on offer is dramatically better than what the establishment offers – and it’s ‘generally’ legal even if it’s highly risky – then they’ll explore it.
I never imagined I’d be the sort of person who would be part of a pyramid scheme – but circumstances of desperation meant I did. Which means I am pretty sure there’s a hell of a lot of people you’d never imagine would be into crypto, who are.
Not because they’re money hungry assholes – though there’s definitely a bunch who are that – but because with banks taking the piss out of their hopes and dreams with a miserly 0.01% interest rates, suddenly the risk of crypto looks like the most sensible investment for the future they can make.
And then, it’s not just the banks who will be screwed, we all will be.
Filed under: Advertising, Bank Ads, Brand Suicide, Business, Communication Strategy, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Products In History, Differentiation, Egovertising, Fake Attitude, Finance, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Point Of View, Positioning
OK, I know banking is an easy target but – as anyone who has read this blog over the years will know – I am more than happy to throw darts at them.
Recently I came across this gem from Nutmeg … one of those financial institutions who give themselves a cool name so they can pretend they’re ‘down with the people’ when everything they say and do demonstrates the opposite.
Have a look at this …
Apart from the fact that they say nothing about what they do or how they do it – because, let’s face it, compound interest is hardly a unique offering – I’m just surprised they are saying that if you leave £20,000 for 40 years you’ll get over £140,000 at the end of it.
First of all, £20,000 is a lot of money.
Secondly, putting £20,000 away that you’ll never touch is an amazingly big ask.
Thirdly – and I don’t want to sound a dick – but I don’t know if £140,000+ sounds that much after a wait of 40 years.
Sure, I wouldn’t say no to it and I appreciate it represents a huge growth on your initial investment, but after removing the £20,000 you put in at the beginning, that works out to be a return of £3,000 a year.
OK, that’s not bad, but it’s certainly not enough to live off and certainly not the ‘most powerful force in the Universe’ that Einstein supposedly said.
And let’s not forget that little bit of copy at the top of the ad that say’s ‘Capital at risk. Forecasts are not a reliable indicator of future performance’.
Yes, they really are saying that everything they’ve just said could be a load of bollocks.
Imagine what else you could do with that strategy …
“Eat chips 10 times a day and could be beating admirers off with a shitty stick*”
[* Your health is at risk. Forecasts are not a reliable indicator of future performance]
Or what about this …
“Buy this skin care and you will look 30 years younger*”
[* Your self esteem is at risk. Forecasts are not a reliable indicator of future performance]
Why hasn’t someone thought of using this cross-category before???
But getting back to Nutmeg … my question is who is this ad aimed for?
Is it for people who are worried about their future and will put all their life savings away to get £140,000 in forty years time – ignoring the fact, that in 40 years time, £140,000 will be worth around £2.77 in todays money?
Or is it aimed at the wealthy … who can afford the investment, but probably expect even higher returns?
Honestly I’m not sure, but one thing I am certain of is that a financial organisation who doesn’t tell me why I should choose them over every other financial institution that also claims if I give them my money for 40 years, they’ll [hopefully] give me more back – but no guarantees – doesn’t stand much chance of getting any of my money.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Bank Ads, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Culture, Cunning, Insight
I work in an industry that spends billions of dollars per year looking for insight.
You’d think for all that cash you’d discover some absolute corkers – but we don’t.
There’s a whole host of reasons for that.
Part of it is because this industry still mistakes insight for what people do as opposed to why.
Part of it is because some clients believe some insights may stop sales opportunity rather than open it up. [Hence the rise of ‘global human truths’ despite their fatal flaw of ignoring the importance of local context]
Part of it is because some believe that unless an insight is positive, the work will be negative. [Which is obviously bollocks, unless you use insights literally rather than laterally and even then, that doesn’t mean the work has to come out like that]
Part of it is because some in the research industry act like the legal industry and realize there is more money in keeping the question going than actually answering the question.
There’s a whole bunch of reasons, and while I believe insights can come from anywhere – I still believe those that reveal people’s beliefs, motivations and behaviours are often the most powerful of them all.
As anyone who has ever worked with/for me will know, I call these ‘dirty little secrets’, because in my experience, they tend to reveal far more than just why people do things, but the circumstances that led to this belief.
It’s not easy … it’s not always perfect … it always requires other work to validate, explore or exclude it … but I will continually push my lovely colleagues to investigate and discover, because when you reveal a dirty little secret, you are already on the road to making work that will be different and powerful.
The reason I say this is because I recently read about Ponzi-scheme King, Bernie Madoff.
While he comes across as a cold, calculated, sociopath … his intellect can’t be disputed.
When asked how he pulled off the biggest financial fraud in history, he said this …
“I succeeded because when you offer people a deal that’s too good to be true, they never want to look too hard into the facts. They say it’s because of trust. I say it’s because of greed.”
There’s a lot of truth in those 2 sentences.
There’s a lot of creative opportunity in those 2 sentences.
I don’t mean to make work that exploits even more people, but to make work for [say, a bank] that can build the sort of conversation that gives them a real chance to prove they have their customers best interests at heart.
But it won’t happen because too many clients think ‘negative insights’ leads to negative work [which is utter bullshit] and most banks already know what Mr Maddoff said, because that’s how they continue to screw the taxpayer out of cash to line their own pockets.
Shame, because a financial institution that decided to be utterly transparent and then communicated, “the reason we tell you everything is we don’t want you to blame us for anything” might be quite a refreshing change.
So obviously this has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. Hardest and most horrible.
On top of the pain and trauma of losing my Mum and having to make decisions that directly impacts my history and future … I’ve been fucked over by those bastards at HSBC [again] as well as needed an emergency root canal.
But through all the pain and horror I’ve gone through in the last few days, there has been some light.
Of course having my wife, son and closest friends near me has helped enormously.
Part of me wanted to just run away, roll into a little ball and cry and cry and cry … and while they have all encouraged me to grieve openly and proudly, their love, laughter, smiles and – in the case of my son – innocence has helped me see some glimmers of light amongst all the darkness.
Then there’s work.
They’ve been amazing. Everything you want to be true about Wieden+Kennedy is. They are people who care, genuinely care, and their compassion and understanding for what I am going through has been both comforting and breathtaking.
But I want to talk about something else.
A few days ago I wrote about how technology is making death harder for me to compute.
How the constant reminders of my Mum’s presence in my life was both a blessing and a curse.
And I still feel that, I truly do.
But it cannot be denied that technology has offered me something else in some of my darkest days.
Not just in terms of being an outlet for me to express all I am feeling but that it offered me a chance to see how many people cared about me and cared about my Mum.
In all honesty, I’m overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I’ve received over the last 5+ days.
People I know. People I know but have never met. People I don’t know and have never met. It’s been both amazing and unbelievably comforting.
I appreciate death is an awkward subject to discuss because no one can say anything that makes it better and most people are scared of saying something that makes it worse – and that is why I’m so touched by how many people have thrown aside concern and reached out to me in messages, comments and texts.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have honestly appreciated every single word. Every one of them. Of course I wish you didn’t need to write them but I am overwhelmed with what I have received.
I am aware that as a 44 year old man – and a father to boot – I should be strong to tragedy at this point in my life … able to face adversity with strength and stoicness but I’m not. I’m a weakling.
I have cried rivers of tears and howled in emotional pain over and over again. I have done this both in private and, embarrassingly, in public as well.
I feel totally destroyed and shocked. I still can’t believe this has happened and feel that I’m living in either a dream or some weird parallel universe where on the other side, the other version of me is visiting my mum in hospital who is recuperating well from a successful operation.
It is all too complex and confusing for me to grasp and when you take into account that I need to decide what I’m going to do with my family home – a place where my dads ashes are scattered – the weight of expectation and pressure feels almost overwhelming.
And yet I am – in my own way – getting through things and a big part of that is because of all the love, support and compassion that has been thrown at me.
Frankly I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. I know what my Mum did to deserve it, but not me. And yet people’s generosity of support has been amazing and I’m genuinely humbled and feel cared for by it all.
Media likes to present the World as a cold and miserable place. Where selfishness is the norm. They are wrong. The World is full of kind and caring people and I have been fortunate to experience this first hand at a time where I felt my whole World was collapsing around me.
So thank you to you and the people who made the technology that allowed you to reach out me.
Of course it doesn’t take all the pain away, but it stops everything looking so bleak and I can assure you that would be exactly what my Mum would want for me.