The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Back When Logic Tasted Of Insanity …

Recently I saw a photograph that reminded me how I grew up in crazy times.

OK, ‘crazy’ is a bit over-the-top given it was Nottingham – but how else can I describe this:

For those wondering what the hell that is, it’s carpentry tools.

Made of chocolate.

No, that’s not AI … it is the sort of twisted-as-fuck shit you would get back when I was a kid.

As a gift.

That you would then eat and be ridiculously happy about.

And while ‘novelty chocolate’ may not seem the most left-field thing … why the hell would anyone want to make chocolate in the shape of everyday household tools?

I tell you what, whoever came up with that concept either possessed the most brilliant creative mind of our generation, or the worst.

Why tools versus – say – a toy car?

Or a bicycle?

Or a fucking coal mine for that matter.

And yet I both love it and wish they still did it. I mean – maybe they do – but I’ve not seen any for decades and I know I definitely would not of forgotten it if I’d seen it.

But more importantly, I wish I knew why they’d done it.

Was it a chocolate manufacturer who loved carpentry?
Was it a chocolate manufacturer who thought it would make kids like carpentry?
Was it a chocolate manufacturer who was a lunatic?

Whatever the answer, it is more interesting and arguably, more memorable than all the parity shit our over-reliance on frameworks and systems are producing. Not that I’m anti any of that, just anti the blinkered adoption and outsourcing to all that.

But lets leave it there so the chocolate keeps a nice taste in your mouth.

Till tomorrow … hahaha.

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Welcome To The Absolute Idiot Age …

I appreciate the commercial benefits of being associated with technology – especially technology that’s at the forefront of change – but I’m getting fed up of companies shoving the letters A and I ahead of everything they do in a desperate attempt to look cutting edge.

Do they realise they’re not fooling anyone – except, maybe themselves?

Have they forgotten what happened to WeWork when they persisted in their claims to be a tech company when even Stevie Wonder could see they were nothing more than an office space rental firm.

But it’s happening everywhere with everyone claiming everything they do is now ‘AI shaped/influenced/enabled.

AI project management systems
AI consultancy services.
AI home theatre systems.
AI photocopiers.
AI toilets.
AI. Ai. AI.

And even if I accept all these things now have some element of AI in their process and product, how come so much of them operate exactly as they did before?

All that advanced tech and everything still operates the same way as it always has.

That can’t be very good can it?

Surely that means the people behind it are either idiots, attempting to gaslight their customers or they have used AI to remove employees roles so they can squeeze out the last remnants of profit before they scraper and enjoy sitting on their millions.

While I’m at it …

Why is it the worst offenders of this sort of behavior tend to be the most conservative and traditional companies and industries?

[You can tell who they are as they tend to use images like the one at the top of this post because they think that proves they’re all about the ‘future’, haha]

On one hand I appreciate their desire to modernize, but the problem is – if the only thing that changes is the speed they can do things or the price they can do them for … then arguably, they’re proving they haven’t got the faintest idea what AI could do for them if they’re limiting its use to efficiency and productivity.

So to all brands jumping on the AI bandwagon …

Using Claude to speed up your manufacturing process doesn’t mean you’re an AI company.
Using ChatGPT to write articles about your products does not mean you make AI tech.
And positioning any form of automation as AI does not mean you’re a cutting-edge tech company.

Am I exaggerating?

Yes. But not nearly as much as you may imagine …

Every day I see ads and articles from companies claiming AI is at the centre of all they do.

Products.
Service.
Systems.
Manufacturing.
Marketing.

You name it, someone is saying it … which is why the best way to tell ‘who is trying’ versus ‘who is claiming’ is to embrace the same evaluation criteria as used to judge strategy, which is:

Can customers, employees and competitors notice a fundamental difference between how things were and how things now operate and behave?

If they can’t, it’s hype or self-serving commerciality. You’re welcome.

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If Great Was Easy, We’d All Be Doing It …

One of the scariest, awesome things is starting a new project.

Especially a new project where you are given the freedom to take things to new places.

Scary, because there’s always the risk. you might fuck it up.

Awesome, because you can – in theory – go wherever the hell you like.

I love these moments.

I love exploring all the possibilities and then seeing where everyone’s energy is at.

I love the drama, the challenge, the breakthroughs and the crafting.

But most of all, I love the creation.

Seeing something come to life that wasn’t there before.

But to get to a place that excites rather than appeases, is emotionally draining and stimulating.

The process – if that is what you want to call it – is one that tests you more than tests the idea you’re developing.

And frankly we don’t talk about that enough.

Instead, we celebrate precision, perfection, optimization and logic.

And while there may well be elements of all that in all we do, they sure-as-shit don’t happen at the beginning of the process … and if you think they do, then you’re either kidding yourself or you haven’t tried hard enough.

But what’s scary is a lot of the way the industry is structuring themselves is to kid themselves or not try hard enough.

Too many people running our industry are people not from our industry – so they don’t understand how it works.

They see the rabbit holes we need to go down as a waste of time.

A costly exercise in the delivery of our ‘product’.

And while I appreciate you can take too long on things, you can also take too little time …

But that’s where we’re heading … where effectiveness is defined and determined by ‘delivery timelines’ or ‘fitting in’ to pre-determined definitions rather than trying to do something new … something different … something better.

Which is why it’s so funny so many brand and management consultancies talk about ‘brand transformation’ … because you can’t transform if you stick to predefined and predetermined rules, processes and logic. But then – as Lee Hill once told me – they’re not really transforming anyone or anything. What many are really doing is helping old and slow companies catch up with what everyone else in their category has been doing for an age. It means the consultancy can profit from articulating the learnings from the more progressive companies – rather than develop new possibilities and processes of their own – and wrap it up in expensive language that benefits both parties.

Or said another way … ‘catching up’ is sold as innovation and ‘duplication’ is sold as expertise.

OK, I’m being a little harsh there, but the point is … anyone who says creativity and progress can be delivered via a consistent, precise and stable process is either lying to themselves or lying to you. So don’t see the rollercoaster of the creative process as a cost, see it as people who want to make sure they do something really special for you.

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Why Do You Think They Call It Dumb?

I’m back. I know, how terrible.

Which is why I have some good news for you, because I’m going to be away again in a few weeks. So you only have to endure the pain a little longer before you get ANOTHER reprieve. I know, I’m a Saint.

That said, I had a wonderful time, especially at State of Social in Perth.

Meg – the founder of the conference – has created a truly special event and like StratCon in Berlin, there’s a bunch of stuff other conference organizers could learn from them that would benefit audiences and the industry at large.

Anyway, I’ll be writing about that later, so shall we get the pain of me being back over as quickly as possible?

So as many of you know, I love tech.

Not just the practical stuff, but the ridiculous.

Robot dogs.
Robot rabbits.
Robot balls.
Robot guitars.
Hell, I even bought a, errrrrm, robot mother once.

My house is almost fully automated.
My car is filled with the sort of optional extras the engineers only come up with as a joke.
And don’t get me started on my history with smartphones.

And yet, despite my addiction to stupidity … I totally appreciate there are downsides to technology.

The scrolling,
The timewasting.
The interruption.
The distractions.

And that’s before we get to the blood-pressure inducing annoyance of hearing every fucking company try and claim they’re in the tech/AI space just because they use ChatGPT to write their Linkedin ‘thought leadership’ social landfill bollocks.

So, it’s no surprise we’ve started to see the backlash …

People fighting against companies outsourcing jobs to AI.
Society pushing back on the serving of AI slop.
Companies balking at the prices being charged for AI access.
Investment firms questioning the long-term viability of AI industries.
And then – at a much lower level – shoppers increasingly choosing dumb-tech over high-tech.

You know what I’m talking about …

Products that strip back their functionality to their bare essentials:

Cameras that only allow you to point and click.
Tablets that only allow you to read your books.
And phones that only allow you to make and receive calls and texts.

Will this result in bringing the tech giants down?

Probably not … but as I’ve written before, if the Tech Bros carry on their current path and hoodwink companies into outsourcing their entire operations to AI under the guise of increased profits and efficiency, who the hell will be around to buy the products they make or advertise?

But I’m going off on a tangent because when I was in NYC, I saw this …

Now, I don’t know about you, but a phone that gives you whatsapp, maps, uber ‘and more’ … is the opposite of a dumbphone.

Maybe it could be defined as the ‘night-out phone’.
Or – at a push – the ‘bare essentials’ phone.
But it sure-as-shit isn’t a dumb-phone …

That is unless the term ‘dumb’ is being used to describe the people they want to buy it and then maybe they’re onto something. Except, one look at their website and you realise they really believe what they’re peddling … which suggests whether it’s the tech bros or the idiots, we’re doomed either way.

Have a great day. Hahahaha.

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Why Alexa Has Destroyed Brand Building, Agency Partnerships, Audience Understanding And Creativity …

I know, that’s quite the title isn’t it.

Some would even say it’s ‘clickbait’.

Well, while I readily admit it’s slightly exaggerated, hang in there …

So years ago, Jill rang me to tell me she’d discovered Otis – who was about 4 years old back then – had made a shopping list of things he wanted to order on Amazon through Alexa.

Loads of stuff.

Fortunately for us, this included a range of items even Amazon can’t source.

Stuff such as: Eyeballs … Polar Bears … “Poo Poos” … and countless other weird shit his mind decided would be fun to own.

Putting aside the fact this proved he was most definitely my son, hearing his little voice recite all the things that were on his ‘ownership bucket list’ was wonderful, which is why we have never deleted it.

Not just so we can forever relive his childhood curiosity, but because it will be brilliant to play it when he has his 21st birthday – hahaha.

I say this because I recently read another evil genius use – or should I say, abuse – of Alexa.

This.

Why the hell had I never thought of doing this before?

On the positive, it has shown how mature I have become over the years. On the negative, it has highlighted how I am a groupie for mischief because you can be sure-as-hell I will be finding ways to do this to people from here on in. No wonder the guys at Q-Prime called me ‘immune to maturity’.

And while you may shake your head and call me a ‘sad bastard’ for wanting to do this, think of it as an act of revenge against the tech-bro boys.

Because as much as Alexa may have many uses and benefits … it has also fucked humanity. Teaching us to expect instant gratification for whatever we want, whenever we want it.

No moment for pause.
No time for consideration.
No appreciation of nuance.

Where the only thing that matters – and you are judged on – is the speed of the response.

It’s probably why so many brands love influencers.
Not simply because of their audience.
Not simply because of their popularity.
But because they will say EXACTLY what they want … without challenge, opinion or rearticulation.

I don’t blame the influencer for this, because not only are they making bank out of it, why should they give a shit … for them, the relationship is purely transactional and what they’re selling is access, not authenticity.

But I tell you who should care …

Clients.

But in these days where the main topic of conversation seems to be about ‘shouting at scale’ – read: believing media is way more important than working with people who know what to say and how to say it – is it any surprise that despite spending over US$1 TRILLION dollars on advertising last year, the industry feels like one homogenous, barren contrived-as-fuck blob?

Or as a client of mine recently said, “we’re past the brand building age and now in the brand shrinking era”.

I get instant answers are convenient.
I appreciate having people push back on you can be a pain.
But we need to get back to normalizing the value of objectivity.

Because the point of it is not to frustrate, but to stop you shouting into an echo chamber and building something that people helps people become something.

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Finally – as if it being Friday wasn’t good enough – I am away again for 11 days.

ELEVEN!!!

However it’s not all good news because if you’re in Perth, Western Australia … then Paris, France … then Beijing, China … I’m going to be in your hood so watch out.

Actually, it’s even worse for the people in Perth because I’m going to be shouting swearwords at the brilliant State Of Social conference.

That’s right, the wonderful, generous, kind idiots have invited me again … which means some people just never learn from their mistakes.

So have a good weekend/week. Unless you’re in Perth, Paris or Beijing.

See you around the 3rd Sept.

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