The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Actually that’s wrong.

One of the things I’ve always had a problem with about America is their tolerance of the NRA … the National Rifle Association.

For all the talk they give about wanting to maintain the rights of the ‘sport’, the hype they – and their members – spout seems to convey a very different motivation behind their actions.

Have a look at the stuff they say on their website …

Now have a look at the ad one of their members put out …

Yeah … they really sound like an association committed to the use of guns for the purpose of sport don’t they.

Seriously, using nationalism and aggressive language like ‘army’ doesn’t do them any favours and neither does their whole ‘right to bear arms’ argument, because as Ice-T once said, back when the 2nd amendment was written, America thought it was OK to keep slaves so maybe it’s time they accept the World has moved on for the better.

For any NRA advocate who needs another tragic reminder why they need to stop fighting for liberal gun ownership laws, they need to look at this video of the Father of Ricardo Martinez, a young man who died in last weeks mass shooting victims.

I know responsibility cannot be aimed at one person or group … I know the NRA don’t pull the actual trigger when someone dies … I know there are millions of responsible gun owners out there … I know shooting can be a sport … I know the gun industry keeps hundreds of thousands employed … but the NRA are not helping matters with their consistent and aggressive lobbying and hyped up stance on gun ownership being an ‘American’s right’.

Anyway, the reason for that long title is because I recently watched this ad featuring Aussie Rock Legend, Jimmy Barnes …

OK, so the ad is nothing special … just the usual self-congratulatory ego piece you see telecommunication companies often put out. The reason for the long post is because I recently read the press release from DDB Sydney that went with that ad.

“People love to solve puzzles when watching ads and are curious to know why some of Australia’s favourite celebrities are now working for Telstra.”

Now excuse me for being a bit cynical, but apart from the fact that ad is about as much of a puzzle as a 4 piece jigsaw, I sincerely doubt Australians are sitting at home wondering why B-grade celebrities are appearing in a Telstra ad and even in the unlikely event they are, I would assume they’d suggest the answer is because they got paid a shedload of money.

Seriously, what were they thinking?

If the ad was genuinely pushing boundaries, then maybe – and it’s a very big maybe – people might be engaged enough to be interested in what is going on, but when it’s one of the most cliched type of ads you will ever see, the only consideration I would imagine going on inside the heads of Aussie TV viewers is:

“When the fuck does this rubbish stop so I can get back to watching the journalistic excellence of Today Tonight?

To be honest, that isn’t even the worst part of the press release, it also said:

“The punch line works really well, when a real Telstra staff member takes over from the celebrity, representing all Telstra employees who not only want to be famous themselves but are the people who are making it happen.”

Jesus Christ.

I don’t know the person who uttered this drivel but I’m sure he’s very good and this was just a really bad off day [hey, I have them every 24 hours, so it’s perfectly understandable] but claiming the way they [‘they’ being DDB Sydney] executed this ad actually elevated its power and influence is both questionable and ridiculous.

In fact, I’d go as far as to say it does them – and the industry – harm, because if they’re claiming this is what breakthrough communication is, then it’s no wonder business thinks adland talks a crock of shit.

From VW’s Snow Plough, to that Telstra ad.

Oh dear.

I bet Bernbach is spinning so quickly in his grave right now, he could power Shanghai.

Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I thought sex was supposed to be fun … passionate … exciting, but one look at this Durex ad and it appears I was wrong and it should be more clinical, soulless and – according to that ad – similar to washing your hands or something.

For a product promoting ‘real feel’, I find it tragic that the way they communicated this benefit was like it was a bloody pharmaceutical ad. Whether that’s because of Singaporean advertising policy, the brand manager of Durex is the most boring person alive or sex with a Singaporean is like doing your taxes is open to question, but it’s pathetic all the same.

To make it worse, PornHub.com, recently did a lovely campaign called ‘Got Wood’.

Basically, for every 100 videos watched [even if they lasted the average 3 minutes – which I’ll leave you to work out why] they would plant a tree.

Cute.

But then Singapore doesn’t let you access PornHub which explains why John, Northern, Andy & Billy don’t live there.

That doesn’t mean I don’t accept or respect the power and importance of faith … but where religion is concerned, I can’t buy into something that – from my perspective – has caused more tragedy and prejudice than peace and harmony.

But that’s just me.

Anyway, thanks to my inability to plan my travels with any degree of intelligence, I recently found myself getting up at 4am to get to the airport.

As I was getting ready, I turned on the television and there was one of those religious television shows that the networks often like to use to fill up time.

I’m sure they get given the content for free – or maybe the Church pays for it – but regardless, I find it funny that these shows are shown given the potential to alienate the audience.

Mind you, at 4am, the only people watching are druggies, travellers or zealots.

Anyway, as I was watching a man in a shirt that literally caused the television to shit itself, the weirdest ‘super’ came on the screen.

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Yes … your future is in your seed.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the context of it was … maybe they were saying 'if you have a baby, you can live off the little bastard if you force them to get a job by the age of 5' or maybe they're promoting sperm banks and saying the more you wank, the more cash you will have to spend on the cool stuff coming out in the future – but on the bright side, it made me pay more attention to a religious show than I have done in the past 40 years.

Wow, maybe those TBWA disruption folks were right after all … except it doesn't make me want to even find out more about the Church, let alone join it.