The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Protection Over Permission …

Today is the last post until the 7th April, thanks to Easter.

As many of you know, I’m not religious in the least – but if there’s a holiday in it, especially a holiday with a justification to eat the stuff I don’t allow myself to consume at any other point of the year, I’m all in on it.

So before I get on with today’s post, I wish you all a happy chocolate eating period … let’s be honest, with the shit going on in the World right now, we deserve whatever can make us happy for a few minutes.

Right … so let’s get on with things shall we>

There’s a term that states:

“Ask for forgiveness rather than permission”.

I get why … because however open minded a company may claim they are, most only want to operate within the narrow guidelines they’ve always followed.

That’s why, if there’s something you want to do that you know challenges convention – it’s better to do it and apologise later [regardless of the outcome] than ask first and likely lose the chance forever.

I have decades of experience of doing this – and have the written warnings to prove it [haha] – but what enabled me to get away with it was this:

1. I always had/have a logic driving my actions. Even if others didn’t/don’t quite agree with it – there is a reason that drives my desire to do something commercially and creatively original, interesting and/or different.

2. Whatever I did never crossed any legal, moral, financial or commercial line. I may be a nightmare at times, but with a family of lawyers, I’m not a total idiot.

3. Regardless of the outcome – good or bad [and more often than not, it was good. Eventually – haha] I always came clean to my boss. The reality it I knew they’d always find out eventually and it was far better to own it than be owned by it.

4. For most of my career, I’ve worked with/for bosses who I deeply respect and who I knew not only understood who I was – and had hired me because of it – but shared a similar belief of pushing things to explore new things. Not for wreckless or egotistical reasons, but out of pure creative, cultural or commercial curiosity. [Albeit they tended to be more considered, deliberate and discerning in their choices than me]

And it’s this last point that I’ve come to realise is one of the most important and valuable things any employee could ask for. In fact I’d go one further, I’d say I regard it as one of the most important factors when looking for a job.

Right now, it appears too many managers are more focused on managing up rather than lifting their people up. Caring more about how they look to their bosses than enabling their teams to develop, grow and lead in such a way that their worth to the organisation is blatantly apparent.

On one level, I get it.

Times are tough out there and you don’t want your future placed entirely in the hands of others actions and behaviours – except that’s the whole point of being a manager. Or at least in my book it is.

As I’ve said many times over the years, I believe the role of a manager is to help their people embrace and grow their talent in such a way that when they leave – as we all do at some point – they have more opportunities than they ever imagined having and that when someone wants to hire them … its as much for who they are and what they do as it is there’s a role that needs to be filled.

Does that always happen? No.

Has it happened more often than not? Yes.

Now I should point out I am not claiming any credit for what people have gone on to achieve – they did it with their own talent, experience and work – but I am saying that is the driving force behind how I approach my job … how I’ve always approached my job … and how I hope my colleagues see me approaching my job.

Put simply, working towards what they’re working towards or putting them in positions of opportunity where they have the right to say “no” to something rather than it being decided for them by someone else.

And if that sounds selfless, it’s not.

Because fundamentally, if they do well, I do well.

It’s how I demonstrate my worth to the people who are evaluating my worth. Because I believe there’s more value in liberating my teams potential than supressing it so only I look good to the powers-that-be.

To be honest, I’m worried this is all coming out the wrong way. I’m not trying to big-up my management skills – at the end of the day, the only people who can evaluate if I’m any good are the people who work with me. The point of this post is more about the commercial and professional importance of elevating people’s potential rather than simply focusing on elevating their productivity.

Sure, everyone has a job they have to do.
Sure, everyone has standards and ‘quotas’ they have to hit.
But my view is you achieve much more than that if you let your team grow rather than just makie them work more. And faster.

It’s why I passionately believe my job is far less about giving the team permission, and far more about giving them protection.

Protection from others judgement.
Protection from others attempts to control.
Protection from others formulaic approaches that never led to anything great.

All underpinned in the knowledge you’ve set the right values, standards and rigor that will guide their choices and decisions for every challenge or opportunity – even if things don’t end up going quite as anyone hoped or planned.

In some ways, it’s a bit like being a parent.

Where your role is to teach your kid how to think about handling a situation, rather than what to specifically do.

Or said another way … trusting their judgement, rather than trying to control it, even if they do something differently to how you would have approached it.

Of course people need to earn that trust – as I need to earn it from them – but believing in their ability has to be the starting point, because if you don’t, not only are you failing to create the conditions where they will even ask for permission, you’re creating the conditions where they’ll be too frightened to do anything different in the first place.

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Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me

So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:

1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]

2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.

That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.

The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.

Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.

But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.

And what high points they were …

Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.

Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.

I got some lovely new tattoos.

Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.

Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.

Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.

My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.

Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …

I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.

Now back to other stuff …

I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.

Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.

Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.

Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.

Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]

Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.

Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.

Talking of Colenso ….

We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.

In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]

As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.

Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.

Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!

How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.

And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.

I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.

Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.

He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.

Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.

And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.

It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.

Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.

Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.

So to my dear Otis …

Happy birthday my wonderful son.

I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.

I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.

Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.

Love you.

Rx

I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.

Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.

Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.

And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.

Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.

See you on the other side.

Rx

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Beware Of What You Wish For …

I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since I was 15.

That means almost 40 bloody years!!!

And yet, over the years, I’ve been arrested for being drunk and disorderly all over the World … even though in reality, I was just being a stupid idiot.

A sober, stupid idiot.

For people who know me, that shouldn’t be too hard to imagine … however the reality is ‘being a stupid idiot’ is why I stopped drinking in the first place.

Not because I ever had a problem with how much I drank – if truth be told, I only ever got properly ‘drunk’ twice in my life and, being so young, meant I never had too much access to alcohol in the first place – but because I had a problem with feeling out-of-control.

I appreciate that may make me sound like a psychopath, but what’s even stranger is that I have a very addictive personality.

Over the years, that’s got me into a bunch of different types of trouble … which is why I am so glad my addictive side is offset by also being in possession of a stubborn-as-a-mule side.

What this means is that if my addictive side goes too far, my stubborn side kicks in and stops me dead.

I don’t just mean ‘stops me’ for that moment, I mean it stops me doing whatever it is I was doing, for good.

It’s like the ultimate flex … showing my addictive side that as influential as it thinks it is, it decides what I do and don’t do. And nothing proves that more by ensuring that when it stops me, it never ever lets me do it again.

It’s why I stopped drinking alcohol.
It’s why I stopped playing fruit machines.
It’s why I – eventually – stopped eating so much shit.
It’s also why I never tried drugs because it’s a given I’d have gone all in on them.

However, I am a bit confused why it hasn’t stepped in to stop me walking around like an idiot. But then, I guess I am choosing to do that rather than because I have a compulsion to – which is, arguably, even scarier.

Or sadder.

Anyway, I am writing all this because I read something recently that triggered all these thoughts.

It was something the actor/host Rob Brydon said this about the best time to be in a movie.

I love that. I love it for the objectivity, the vulnerability and the self-awareness.

Some people dream of being in a movie.
Some people dream of writing a hit song.
Some people – god forbid – dream of working in advertising.

And that’s great, until you let that define who you are.

Because the moment that happens, you’re no longer in control of who you are.

You are at the mercy of those around you.

Desperate for the acclaim. Hurt by any criticism. Doing all you can to stay where you think you are .. and yet, always craving to be something more.

Some companies actively try to cultivate this attitude …

Making you feel you’re special for being where others aren’t.

Letting you enjoy the trapping of industry success and clout.

Feeding your confidence with stories of acclaim and fame.

But while this is going on, they’re slowly changing the dynamic.

Shifting you from a position of strength to dependency.

Turning the screw until they’re the one in control.

Where you’ll be complicit to whatever keeps you in favour.

Because to be let go by them would feel like you no longer exist.

Until they decide you don’t.

Trust me it happens.

It’s kind-of why I started Corporate Gaslighting.

Because the way they win is creating the conditions of control. And shame.

But this post has taken a bit of a turn …

Because while that quote from Rob Brydon may be about the dangers of getting what you want, it wasn’t the point I was originally using it for this post.

The real reason was that when I read it, it reminded me of something The Chemical Brothers once said.

Something to do with alcohol consumption – which is where this post started, just to connect the dots in case you were as lost as I appear to have been.

You see, they were once asked, “What’s your favourite part of being drunk”.

To which they gave one of the best answers to any question I’ve ever heard:

“The second before you know you’re going to be sick”.

Those are the words of someone who has been there more than once.

Who has learned the lessons of excess the hard way.

Who’s personality is all addiction, and no stubborn.

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Stupid Is Refreshing …

Systems.

Processes.

Models.

Theories.

We’re surrounded with ways to do stuff and yet it feels we’re surrounded by more boring stuff than ever before.

By boring, I mean derivative.

A production line of repetition, albeit with different brand names emblazoned on the front.

I’ve said this before, but while a process is important … when we place more emphasis on that, than what it produces – or what we want it to produce – then we’ve got our shit the wrong way round.

It’s why I’ve also talked about the commercial effectiveness of creative ridiculousness.

A way to make an impact by the simple nature of not following the same patterns and processes of everything that has come before.

I don’t mean in terms of ‘differentiation’ [which is still based on using category norms] but – to steal from TBWA mainly because I don’t see them doing it much anymore – disruption.

Which is my way of saying why I love this …

Yes, it’s got cats on it.

And yes it says it will let me talk to them.

But even I know it’s not true … and yet I bought it and paid a premium for it, which is more than I would ever do for any other form of gum.

Fuck, I don’t even buy gum normally which reminds me of this post back in 2007 that reinforces the power of packaging.

Planning is important.

It has a real role to play for business and creativity.

But when that role ends up being shaped exclusively by the rules of the category, the competition and the ‘average consumer’ … then we’re not moving our brands forward, we’re in danger of cementing them where they are.

Of course I appreciate the difference between a novelty candy and a major brand with global distribution … but the premise remains the same.

If you let your blinkers only allow logic to influence your choices, you’re not liberating opportunities … you’re stifling it. Or – as Martin, Paula and I said at last year at Cannes – you’re being strategically constipated and only imagination can be your laxative.

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Forget The Inside, Sometimes It’s The Outside That Counts …

This is the last post for a week because I’m off again.

I know … I know … it’s getting ridiculous, but consider my jet-lag, your mental health.

Talking of mental health … I’ve not had a drop of alcohol for 38 years.

THIRTY EIGHT.

But despite that, I do find myself buying it on occasion … mainly when those occasions are an extremely rare dinner invite and/or a desire to show gratitude towards someone in particular.

And when that happens, I remind myself how easily influenced I can be.

Because as we saw in 2007, my biggest motivator is the packaging rather than the quality of the product.

Well, I say that, but it has to be a brand I’ve at least heard of – a brand I associate with some sort of quality – but fundamentally, it’s all about the packaging.

Recently I wanted to get something for our old neighbour in LA.

It was his birthday … he’s an amazing human … and he invited me to his dinner. [I was in town, so it wasn’t some totally empty gesture]

So I rushed to a bottle shop and was immediately hit with a wealth of choices and options and so what did I end up choosing?

This.

Yep, a bottle of Veuve in a pseudo orange SMEG fridge.

Frankly it looked ridiculous … hell, it is ridiculous … but it’s also my kind of ridiculous, despite even my low-class tastes thought that for 2 brands that are supposedly ‘premium’, the way they combined looked cheap and tragic.

But unsuprisingly, my inner Dolly ‘it-costs-a-lot-of-money-to-look-this-cheap’ Parton, took over and I handed over my cash and walked out full of smugness and slight humiliation.

Now I don’t know the background to this collab.

I don’t know the process they took to get here,

And while on one level it makes some-sort-of-sense, it also is completely and utterly bonkers … and that’s why I love it.

Because in a world of sensible, it’s nice to see ridiculous win.

Yes, I appreciate Apple’s ‘ceremony of purchase’ packaging strategy is next level … but in terms of what I call, ‘social luxury’, the use of ridiculous packaging – as seen in the fragrance industry – is arguably, the most sensible thing they can do.

For all the processes, models and eco-systems being pushed by so many people right now, it’s interesting how few actively encourage searching for the weird edges. Ironically, they build approaches where the aim is to filter these out before they even have a chance to see what they can do. Which is why as much as the we laugh at the superficiality of fragrance companies and some alcohol brands, they can teach us more about standing out than all these models that seem obsessed with making sure we all ‘fit in’.

So who are the stupid ones now eh?

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