Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Corporate Evil, Crap Products In History, Culture, Film, Food, Government, Health, Marketing, McDonalds
Oh my god, it’s October 1.
We are in the last quarter of 2026 and this is good news for a heap of reasons.
+ 2026 hasn’t been the best year so we only have 90 days till the fuckers over.
+ It means we’re officially counting down to one of the best places in the World for summer.
+ Which also means we’re approach one of the greatest festive holiday periods in the universe.
Suddenly, there’s so much optimism and happiness in my world – hahaha. Unfortunately for you, that means you still have 3 months of my ranting rubbish to deal with so let’s start getting it over and done with, with this post …
Do you remember the movie Super Size Me?
It was a documentary by Morgan Spurlock about McDonald’s and what happens to the body if that’s all you eat for a month.
It caused a huge stir for a whole host of reasons.
+ It brought the issue of obesity to the forefront of conversation.
+ It revealed the exploitation of those from more humble backgrounds.
+ It talked about the tension between convenience and quality.
+ It showed the power and influence of corporate farming.
Now was the film perfect?
God no … the book Fast Food Nation did a much more balanced and informed job at doing that. And then there’s the fact Morgan Spurlock was later revealed to be a problematic character – which permanently took the shine off his breakthrough film.
But all that aside, the impact of his movie was pretty swift.
McDonald’s launched a range of healthy alternatives.
They ensured the calorie content of their food was easily available.
And they reminded people that a daily diet of Maccas was not great for your health.
Except – as is the case with most corporations – they worked hard to restore things back into their sweet zone through product and marketing promotions, such as the 99 cent burger deals and the – admittedly brilliant – ‘famous orders’ campaign.
Zoom forward to now and the issue of obesity and fast food is widely known and accepted … and yet, rather than things getting better, they are arguably getting even worse.
More fast food companies.
More calories per meal.
More desire for convenience.
Rise of mukbang culture.
Add to this an economic crisis which means people are increasingly choosing food based on price than quality – not to mention, as I have discovered first hand, how much it costs to eat healthily – and Super Size Me looks more like a dark-comedy than a documentary.
But the ultimate proof that things are bleak for health is that every company is trying to exploit the high-calorie gravy-train.
Yep, that’s KitKat cereal.
From Nestle … the company who states they are all about ‘good food, good life‘.
Hmmmmmn, sorry to burst their bubble but 24.7 grams of sugar, 10.9 grams of fat and roughly 420 calories per 100 grams is not good for anyone – especially the kids they’re obviously targeting.
“But hang on Rob …”, I hear their lawyers cry. “… we recommend a bowl of 30g for kids, which is only around 126 calories”
And maybe that’s true except …
1. The 126 calorie figure DOESN’T include milk, which puts it to around 170.
2. You know what people think is a 30g portion and what it actually is are wildly different.
3. You openly acknowledge it should only be an occasional breakfast because of its lack of goodness – reinforced by the fact even you’re too embarrassed to mention its real calories on your own official website.
[I should point out I’ve not seen their ads for this product, but the usual approach food companies use for selling ‘high-sugar, children targeted foods’ is to say it provides ‘energy’ for growing kids. Which may be true, but also blatantly gaslighting at the same time]
Look, I believe we all have to take responsibility for our own health … but I also believe it’s very difficult when times are tight, good food costs a fortune and we’re surrounded by a whole host of cheap convenience.
So while it’s ultimately our decision and choice, I can’t help but think the Government have a role to play in all of this.
Because if they are here to ensure the health, happiness and wealth of the nation is sustainable … then surely any food company who undermines that through the distribution of products they know are bad for the health and wellbeing of millions, should be considered a potential threat to the nation.
Is that extreme? Maybe.
But let’s face it, they’ve shown they don’t really care about it.
I mean, on one hand you know what you’re dealing with, with Maccas … but when ‘responsible food companies’ like Nestle prove they don’t give a shit, maybe there is a reset that needs to be set.
And while I’m not suggesting they are kicked out – can you imagine the headlines in The Daily Mail if they did that? – maybe they could find some ways to either make it less economically beneficial to keep pushing bad shit on us or to encourage more ways to make good shit more economically available and accessible to us all.
Jesus Christ … who have I become?!
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Creativity, Culture, Food, Health, Nottingham Forest, Walking
I’ve always subscribed to the view taking what you do seriously, doesn’t mean you have to take yourself seriously.
Not because it justifies my ‘immaturity tendencies’ [though that helps] but because the act of creativity – commercial or otherwise – requires the ability to be silly, stupid and open to the unlikely or ridiculous.
Not because creativity is superficial, but because it enables the possibilities of it.
For new ideas.
For new perspectives.
For new considerations.
For new collaborations.
For new connections.
For new thinking.
Some don’t get this, because they see creativity as a ‘wrapper’ that can be applied at will to whatever they want.
They tend to be the same people who view the creative process as one big ‘inefficiency’, without realising those ‘inefficiencies’ are the very things that can lead to the magic they seek.
This is not entirely their fault, because – let’s be honest – our industry often doesn’t invite them to be a part of it.
But then, by the same token, you can’t blame them when there is often a reluctance to value that process so it ends up being a hinderance.
It’s why I do find Colenso quite the anomaly.
For 5 decades they’ve been pulling off the ridiculous and impossible.
From building a restaurant in a tree to promote the Yellow Pages … to creating a skin cream to encourage women to check their breasts for lumps … to creating a new fuel for cars to sell beer … to developing technology to help dogs get adopted … to getting the public making ads to promote a low-cost telco, Skinny … to getting families to roast each other so they could open up about their mental health. To name very. very few.
Put simply, Colenso has always been about using creativity to solve problems, rather than create advertising to promote the problem – it’s one of the reasons I revered them long before I joined them – and a big reason for how they have been able to do that is their appreciation of the commercial value of happy accidents.
Not holding things so tightly you can’t let other things in.
Not being so precious you won’t share your thoughts with others.
Not being so locked down it’s impossible to evolve, edit or pivot.
That doesn’t mean we’re a bunch of ‘pleasers’ – truth be told, we’re always a bunch of opinionated buggers – it’s simply that by not taking ourselves too seriously, we stop the ‘process’ of creativity becoming so efficient, it impacts and limits the possibilities of how we solve our clients problems so we can do things people will actually give-a-fuck about.
Or said another way …
Not taking ourselves seriously is most serious way we can be a valuable partner to our clients.
I say all this because I recently had my 5th anniversary at Colenso, and they marked the occasion with some gifts that perfectly capture our ‘seriously unserious’ spirit.
First they got me a bridge climb.
And while that will be a magical and memorable experience, the real reason behind it was to unsubtly tell me they would really like it if I stopped walking 20+kms during the day so I could start doing my work meetings in the office, rather than on the streets.
Secondly they got me a weekly home delivery of sourdough and butter.
Amazing. Except it is not because it’s the food I miss the most – since I got healthy – but because it’s the only guaranteed way to make me have a smile on my face.
And lastly, they organized a personal message from Nottingham Forest legend, Mark Crossley.
Not because I love Forest with all my heart, but because their results affect my mood, and this season I’ve basically been a miserable bastard, bar the last few weeks.
See … piss-taking perfect presents.
But even that doesn’t really capture the tone of how we operate.
But this does …
It’s the card from the CEO of Colenso, Ange …
Whose ‘loving’ words show we share a desk and my health consciousness is not good for her hearing, haha.
So to all the rats of Colenso – past and present, thank you.
You’re not serious. But you are very, very clever. [And a bit kind]
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Comment, Effectiveness, Food, Happiness, Health
Once upon a time, I was very athletic.
I played rugby for the school.
I was one of the fastest 100m runners in the county.
I played football with my mates every single night of the week.
I loved everything, and then – aged 21 – I got a detached retina and everything changed.
The seriousness and fragility of my eye meant anything that could cause trauma was off limits – so apart from not being allowed to do any sport, I wasn’t even allowed to lift anything heavy … and so very quickly, I went from active life, to sedentary life.
Unsurprisingly – yet ironically – the impact of this shift meant that while my eye was OK, the rest of me wasn’t.
And this was my normal for over 30 years.
That doesn’t mean I was happy with what was happening, I wasn’t. In fact, in my darkest days, I really hated it. I hated me.
Who I was. How I looked. How I felt.
And what made things worse was I didn’t know how I could change it.
My eye was still fragile. My work was full-on. And food was one of the only things that gave me momentary joy.
But – as I have documented in the past – things changed 2 years ago when I was convinced to eat well for 3 months.
What’s hilarious is this was not because of my weight, but something else entirely … but something inside of me clicked, and I mentally chose to do it, rather than argue against it.
One of the biggest surprises was how much I relied on food to manage stress. You’d think that would have been obvious but it wasn’t. I remember how one of the things I did was go for a walk every time I found myself going to the fridge outside of breakfast, lunch or dinner.
So I walked a lot.
A hell of a lot.
So much so that it not only was the biggest contributor to me getting healthy again – arguably, healthier than I ever have been – but it got me falling in love with walking and now, running.
That image at the top of the page is a perfect example of that. It is my December result.
That’s right, I walked over 750,000 steps. Over 550 kms.
For someone who used to complain about walking the bin up his drive, that’s pretty amazing.
But then, it was December as I’ve detailed many a time … NZ festive season holidays are brilliantly long.
However, just to prove that was not a fluke, here’s the results of last week.
Yep, proportionally, I walked more than when I was on holiday!
How?
Well, let’s just say I have a lot of walking meetings …
Plus, the more I walk, the more I can eat the bad stuff I bloody love, haha.
But this is just to say, if exercise freaks you out, start with walking … doesn’t matter how far you go … because as long as you do a little bit each day, you’ll not just seamlessly improve on what you can do, but also who you are and who you can become.
Not because weight defines that, but feeling a bit healthier does.
Happy to chat to anyone who wants help with it.
Probably while I’m out walking.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Comment, Doctor, Eye, Health, Medicine, Nurses
A few weeks ago, I made an appointment to see my GP.
When I walked into his room, he was busy typing notes into his computer before asking how he could help.
I replied, “You can’t”.
I left just enough of a pause to make things seem dramatic before I added I was there to thank him for the speed he recognised the danger of my eye disease, because had he not – and many wouldn’t have – I’d likely of gone permanently blind.
He just looked at me, a bit in shock.
Not because of how bad my eye issue ended up being, but because I’d gone to see him to say thanks.
More than that, I’d paid $70 for the privilege of being able to do it.
And that’s when I realized how often they must see patients who don’t listen to what they say.
Not because their diagnosis is bad, but because it requires them to change how they live. And they don’t want to do that.
So over years and years, the Doctor and the patient have the same conversation over and over again … until they either listen, or never come back.
To be honest, I probably was one of those people … always looking for the ‘quick fix prescription’ rather than take responsibility for my wellbeing.
But for some reason, Dr Sohn changed all that.
I have no understanding how – or why – but he managed it. In fact, he is the reason I started my ‘health’ kick.
Let’s be honest, I’d needed to lose weight for decades … but never did.
Some of that was because I was overwhelmed by the idea of it …
Some of that that because I literally had no idea how to start …
Some of that was because I didn’t believe I was capable of doing it …
Some of that was because I was pretty depressed at how I looked and felt …
And yet, after he made a passing comment about trying a diet for 3 months, I have ended up 57kg lighter than when he first mentioned it to me.
I know he’s proud of that because he’d once told me he references me to other patients. Proof it can be done.
But I don’t think my results are the real reason for it and more the fact I’m someone he can point to and say, “he listened”.
Which gets to the point of this post …
We often have clients or colleagues who ignore what we suggest.
That despite our experience, knowledge or information, they prefer to follo what they think is right instead.
And – let’s be honest – that pisses us right off.
But advertising and medicine are very different things – so while we may take what we do as seriously as what every Doctor or Nurse does – no fucker is going to die because someone hasn’t done what we told them they should.
That’s right … one side is trying to SAVE LIVES while the other is trying to make some ads.
So with that in mind, maybe we all need to chill-the-fuck-out and be thankful we’re not Doctors or Nurses – while being thankful as hell for our Doctors and Nurses – because in terms of job frustration, we’re total amateurs compared to the shit they have to endure from their clients.
I like food. Actually, that’s wrong, I fucking love food.
Not the fancy stuff, just classic, everyday comfort shit.
It’s why one of the only ways I was able to get healthy was by ridding myself of all temptation and shut it out my life.
So, no ‘cheeky’ bites.
No ‘super small portions’.
No ‘just a taste’. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Instead, I replaced my diet with ridiculous amounts of spinach, mushrooms, chicken, fruit and chili flakes. And while that might sound horrific in comparison to what I used to consume, I’ve developed a bunch of different ways to cook it that – along with regular walking/running – has let me lose weight without feeling I am also losing the enjoyment of eating. [or the will to live]
But since losing over 57kgs and maintaining it, I’ve been slowly re-entering normal life … by which, I mean going to the odd restaurant rather than cooking everything myself. And I’ve generally been able to make good choices – without going over-the-top in terms of quantity – however it has also helped me realize that as good as I have been, there are some foods that I am incapable of offering any form of resistance.
If you’d asked me what I thought that food would be when I started this journey, I’d have answered ‘pasta, butter, cheese and salt’ without a moment’s hesitation.
But I was wrong, because if I see that on the menu, I can skip past it without any effort whatsoever.
But bread?
But sausages and mash?
But a fucking banoffee pie?
Nope. Not at all. The moment I see it, my brain shifts …
It starts by screaming ‘DON’T EVEN LOOK AT IT ROB’
Then, within seconds, it starts love bombing me with thoughts like, ‘Maybe you could have a teeny, little bite?’
And almost immediately after, it metaphorically grabs me by the cheeks, looks me right in the eye and tells me, ‘Eat it. You don’t go out often. Put it in your mouth and enjoy it. You’ve earned this. You deserve this’.
And I do.
And yes, I fucking adore it.
And while it’s true I don’t go out to restaurants very often and I am very, very good at all other times, the fact is I do this EVERYTIME I go to a restaurant.
EVERY. TIME.
And here’s the reality …
If I went to a restaurant every day, I’d do it every day. I am helpless to its power.
I love the taste.
I love the texture.
I love the feeling.
I love every single bit of it.
So, whereas I’ve found a healthy, decent alternative to pasta that satisfies my cravings … I haven’t found anything that comes close to that other stuff.
Sure, there’s plenty that claims it … but there’s nothing that comes close.
Which reveals that the biggest challenge with food is not just the taste, but the texture and context … and if the health food companies spent a bit more time on that, maybe more people would feel able to change their life.
But none of that – none of it at all – has anything to do with this post.
Not really. I wrote all that to justify this …
You see a few weeks ago, I was in the office kitchen when I found that tin of mushy peas.
I have no idea why it was there.
I have no idea how long it was there.
But I do know that if I couldn’t have them on chips and gravy – loaded with salt and vinegar – the next best thing would be to heat them up, put a big dollop of mint sauce all over them and, voila, get transported back to my youth at Nottingham’s Goose Fair where each year, we would eat them out of a stylophone cup and say – semi correctly – we were enjoying a big cup of ‘Culinary Jesus’™.
So I did.
Which means not only is there another ‘food’ I have to now add to the bread … banoffee pie … and sausage, mash and gravy kryptonite list, it’s another reason why my doctor is grateful I don’t live in England anymore … haha!