The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Bank That Doesn’t Do Itself Credit …

Another day … another rant.

Whereas yesterday I went off at a brand I love/d, today is different.

It’s a bank.

Not just any bank … but a bank who once made me fly from Singapore to Sydney because they insisted they could check my passport ‘by sight’ before they released our funds for us to buy our house.

I should point out they weren’t our mortgage lender … they just wanted to make life very difficult for us and when I rang their ‘helpline’, I was told:

“No one is going to help you here”

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I’m talking about ANZ Australia.

A bank only second to my nemesis – HSBC – for terrible behaviour, which for anyone who knows the hell that HSBC put us through when we lived in China, will know this means ANZ Australia aren’t too crash hot in my opinion.

So what have they done this time? This …

Why the hell are they writing like they’re doing their customers a massive favour saying they’ll keep paying them interest – “even if you make a withdrawal or can’t make a deposit that month” – when your base rate is 0.01%.


To put that in context, if you had AU$10,000,000 … you’d make $1,000 over a year.

Banks charge you for holding your money.

They charge you for using your money.

They close branches to give worse customer service.

They ask you to deal with your own financial issues via the internet.

They find any reason and way to be able to increase their fees.

Many got bailed out – or helped – by our tax dollars.

And then they offer you an interest rate that is so below the current rate of inflation that their ‘financial advice’ equates to literally having less money than you started with and they act like you should be grateful to them for it.

What the fuck?

Either they don’t care or they’re totally delusional.

No wonder people are open to things like crypto … because however much of a risk it is, at least there’s a chance – however small – you may get something out of it, which 0.01% is not going to offer.

Seriously ANZ Australia … stop taking your customers for fools.

As the old adage states, ‘action speaks louder then words’ and your actions continually reinforce you’re about the money not the service. And you know what, I think everyone would have a better opinion of you if you just owned up to that.

We need you and you will charge us for that privilege.

I get it. And – ironically – I’d think more of you for doing that than this ‘helpful and considerate’ tone you’re trying to present. Or even more bizarrely, maybe believe.

I get no one wants to admit they’re an asshole, but regardless what your ‘brand tracking’ and focus groups say, most people think you’re a great dump of calculator catastrophe.

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