The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


It Doesn’t Matter How Much You Care About Something If You Hand It To Someone Who Doesn’t Understand It Or Doesn’t Care About …

For 50 years, I never dressed particularly fashionably.

I had a ‘style’, but it was never one people looked at and thought, “I want to dress like that”.

Questionable t-shirts, ripped jeans and a pair of birkies tend to have that reaction.

Part of this is because growing up, I was never exposed to anything ‘fancy’. Despite my Mum being Italian and going to Italy a lot … my version of designer clothing was stuff from Burton’s and C&A and nothing more.

But over the years, I got more and more exposed to the high-end fashion houses.

Projects with Prada and Chanel introduced me to people, stories and experiences that taught me there was far more to who they were than big prices and even bigger pretentiousness. But even that was not enough to convince me this was something for me.

Hell, I still remember the utter shock I felt when I heard a mate tell me they’d spent 70 quid on a t-shirt.

Sure, this was a 1000 years ago, but back then I didn’t know how that was even possible.

T-shirts were 3 for a few quid from Asda so what on earth could justify 70 pounds for a single tee???

And that was how things carried on for decades until 2 events happened in my life:

I got healthy and I started working for the most successful and influential luxury and street-fashion investor on the planet.

And with those 2 things, everything changed …

I got to go behind the scenes of the highest level of the industry.
I got to talk to the creative directors of the houses and labels who define global fashion.
I got to meet the people who create, curate and craft the experiences that define how fashion makes us feel.

But most of all, (1) I could now actually fit in their clothes and (2) my client sent me shitloads of them for free.

Of course, I appreciate how lucky I am for that – and I massively appreciate that they were doing it to ‘keep encouraging me on my health journey’. But – and I say this with utter love and respect for them – I can’t help the real reason is because they didn’t want me turning up to their big meetings and fancy events dressed like a trainwreck. What maybe triggered this was the time I found myself sitting next to Phoebe Philo, ex-creative director of Celine and founder of her own label, who – on seeing my t-shirt, featuring a cat logo – said:

“I love this, who is it by?”

To which I replied:

“My son made it, and that’s our cat”.

To be fair, she was brilliant but I can’t help but imagine she was also thinking, “who the fuck is this nutter I’m next to?”

Bit like the time I was in the lift with members of the Prada family.

They were – literally – the best dressed people I had ever seen in my entire life.

Me? I was wearing ripped jeans, some Nike’s and a hoodie probably from Asda.

Again, they were kind, warm and welcoming – and never once did I feel judged, in fact the opposite – but it was not long after that I started receiving a lot of fancy clothes – hahaha.

But the point of this post is not that I am more fashionably dressed person than I’ve ever been in my life.

Nor is it that I am one of the luckiest bastards on the planet.

No, it’s that the last few years have completely changed my perspective of the industry.

Where once I may have just seen it as pricey and poncy, I now have a deep appreciation, understanding and respect it..

The creativity, the craft, the inspiration, the statements, the history, the details, the obsession.

Put simply, the belief that EVERY detail matters, no matter how big or small.

Steve Jobs once talked about the importance of ‘painting behind the fence’ – the belief that even if no one ever sees or recognizes the care and consideration you have put into your work, you know and that matters – and in many ways, he could have been describing the luxury fashion industry.

You only has to watch the Netflix Documentary ‘7 Days’ – specifically the episode about Chanel’s couture catwalk show – and you’ll see how much thought goes into how every single detail is presented.

Not simply because image is important to them, but because they want to honour the work they have created.

Make sure it is represented, seen and felt exactly as intended and created.

It is a similar approach Metallica have to their music.

It’s why they bought the best vinyl printing plants in the World.
It’s why they invested in the best live concert sound-system in the World.
It’s why they own the rights to all the music they create and have ever created.

It’s not ego. It’s not hyping. It’s about ensuring they honour the work they’ve made so everyone experiences it exactly as intended, versus letting someone else determine that.

So where the fuck is this all going?

Well, it’s because recently I saw this.

Yep, it’s a billboard for the movie Devil Wears Prada 2.

BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT IMAGE???

How is a movie centered around the world of luxury fashion and media using such a badly designed, stretched and distorted billboard like that?!

Looking online, I can tell you that’s not the official image – at least as far as I can tell – plus I should point out the image has accentuated the lines of the digital billboard, which weren’t visible to the human eye.

But that aside, the image used looks like someone at the local distributor, media agency or billboard company decided, for reasons I don’t understand, to create – or adapt – their own version of the official artwork; the result of which is a visual that makes Devil Wears Prada 2 seems more Poundland than Prada.

Which highlights two very important reminders:

1. Everything communicates who you are and what you value.
2. For the best result, make sure all who work for you – or with you –know who you are and what you value.

I’m not saying price or speed doesn’t matter, of course it does … but what price does sloppiness, misunderstanding or a need-for-speed end up costing?

And to those who say that doesn’t matter, because no one cares … I say this in return.

Not only do you not understand marketing …
Not only do you not care about your company …
You sure as shit don’t understand your customers.

Which gives us one final thing to remember …

For all the systems, processes and marketing practice methodologies you can use … if you forget who its for and what its for, then you’re truly wasting your money.

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Why The Worst Thing That Can Happen To Any Company Is When It’s Led By People Who Value Everything Except What You Do …

A few weeks ago, I found myself in Melbourne, Australia.

I had some time free so I went to the National Gallery where I saw seeing their excellent Westwood/Kawakubo fashion exhibition.

While walking around, it struck me how fashion designers talk about their point of view on society [and how they use their creativity to shape/change it] whereas modern advertising increasingly only talks about their systems and ‘proprietary’ models that drive efficiency and cost savings.

With that in mind, it’s both amusing and sad that for all the business rhetoric we spout on our stages, news pages, and LinkedIn feeds, fashion continues to have greater cultural influence, resonance, and economic impact.

And why is that?

Well, there are many reasons for it, but as someone VERY successful in fashion recently told me: “the top end of their industry is still led by people who love fashion, whereas too much of ours is run by people who crave the love of business”.

Of course, it wasn’t always this way. Go back a little and most of our advertising leaders spoke like fashion designers. And while business will always be essential to our survival – and thank god for that and them – perhaps we’d be better served championing the power of what we create, rather than only focus on the process of how we create it.

Or better yet, let the work speak for us. But not this work.

And if you think I’m being an asshole, spare a thought for all the marketing professionals who attended their MBA course at Imperial College London, when they found I was their guest lecturer. Hahaha.

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Fact Or Fiction …

After the heaviness of yesterday’s post, I’ve decided to lighten it with today’s.

By ‘lighten’ I mean, go even more superficial than normal.

So recently, I saw a guy wearing this shirt …

… and I couldn’t help wondering if it was an animal sanctuary or a Donald Trump ‘alternative truths’ factory.

On the positive, I paid more attention to it than I do most of the ‘dot-to-dot, cookie cutter, social landfill’ marketing-practice advertising that floods our every channel [and – ironically – ends-up triggering our internal firewalls more than our emotional desires or interest] because not only do all of them look, say, sound and behave the same as everyone else, they annoy the fuck out of us with their desperate attempt to shove their ‘brand asset’ down our throats when they’re not even a feature let alone an asset.

God, someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning didn’t they.

On the positive, this shirt should be a shoe-in for the Grand Prix Effie.

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Welcome To The Corporate Emperors New Clothes Era …

There were a lot of stylish people at Cannes.

There were also a lot of try-hard people at Cannes.

But of all the folks I saw over the days I was there, one stood out.

Not just for how they looked, but for the statement they made:

About Cannes …
About the people at Cannes …
About the attitude and behaviour of the industry at large.

I don’t know who you are.

I don’t know what you do.

But if it were up to me, you’d be walking away with a Grand Prix Lion for owning a look I’ll never forget – which, where our industry is concerned – is what we once were brilliant at creating before we sold out the value of creativity in favor of making cash off process and being complicit to a set of rules developed by people who [1] have never actually made the stuff we’re brilliant at and [2] claim the rules for effective marketing are things like emotion, distinction and consistency as if that hasn’t been the case for 200 fucking years.

I suspect, that’s the emotional baggage she’s carrying with her.

It’s the same emotional baggage anyone who cares and creates work is dealing with as we watch certain individuals get wild applause from the broad industry despite the fact they continually demonstrate they either don’t know their history or are choosing to rebadge it so they can flog it off as a ‘proprietary systems for success’ despite the fact all their blatantly bloody obvious lessons have come off the back of the hard work the creative industry has been creating and making for decades.

Seriously, we’re in full-on, corporate Emperor’s New Clothes territory these days … and while there’s a lot of fools being taken in by it, we’re the biggest idiots for having let it happen and then standing by as they do it.

Happy fucking Monday. I’m up for a fight this week … Hahaha.

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Pride Can Come Before A Fall, But It Can Also Make You Stick Things Out To Let The Impossible Happen So A Prick Doesn’t Win…

I have written before that apart from my friend Paul, I owe almost everything in my life to the fact I left the UK and went on an adventure.

Without that, I would not have met my wife … would not have had my son … would not have had my pets … would not be working with rock stars … would not have had all the life experiences and adventures I’ve been fortunate to enjoy and almost certainly would not have the career I currently enjoy.

That’s pretty huge when you think about it and while there’s a whole list of people I need to thank for making it all possible, one of them is an old boss.

Who was a prick.

I had a rather complex relationship with this individual.

Because while they were pompous, petty, condescending and rude, they were also smart, knowledgable and experienced.

On top of that, they gave me a shot on a couple of projects that they probably shouldn’t have. I should point out that wasn’t because they necessarily believed in me – it was more there was no one else to do it – but I appreciated it all the same.

Anyway, when I decided to leave – to go explore opportunities in another country – they were pretty pissed off with me.

While I’d love to say it was because they didn’t want me to go, the reality was they were frustrated I was leaving after they’d agreed to give me a payrise.

That this ‘rise’ was still below market rate and they’d fucked me around for literally 2 years, seemed to have completely slipped their mind … which is maybe why on the day I left, they thought it would be ‘funny’ to write the following comment in my leaving card.

“You’ll be back. Come crawling”.

I remember watching him going around telling people what he had written, laughing hilariously at his own ‘joke’ and while I didn’t take it too much to heart – because everyone knew he was a bit of a prick – it still hurt.

Little did I know then, how those 5 little words would play such an pivotal role in how my career would turn out.

You see, when I ended up in this other country, I initially found it very difficult.

Not just because I didn’t have friends, contacts or a job … but because my Dad was very ill back in the UK.

In all honesty, the temptation to go back was huge but there were 2 reasons I stuck it out.

1. I wanted to show my gratitude to my parents for supporting and encouraging me to go, despite them going through a terribly tough time because of my Dad’s major stroke.
2. Those 5 little words.

While I’d like to think the former was the biggest motivator, I fear it may have been the latter.

That’s pretty pathetic isn’t it … especially as I could have gone back without having to go back to that old job.

But I wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction directly or indirectly.

And so I persevered.

Pushed, prodded, walked the streets, did shitty, temporary roles … anything that kept me from gaving to go back with my tail betweeen my legs.

And it everntually worked out.

Not because of any talent I did or did not have, but because of my perseverence.

And willingness to take any bullshit salary … hahaha.

But for me, getting a break was my main objective … because while I knew I was not the smartest strategst, I knew my work ethic meant I could out-work most.

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that is a toxic trait – but it is my trait – and back then, it was a way for me to prove my worth to agencies/clients who didn’t have to give me a chance or keep me on board.

Of course, over the years, my motivation for continuing to explore the possibilities of the World and my career have evolved.

These days it is far more about wanting to feel I’d be making my parents proud than it is me reacting to 5 little words from a toxic, little manager.

But I also have to acknowledge that without that persons toxic motivation, it is unlikely I would be in the situtation I currently enjoy.

So thank you AC … you were a strange little man, but for all the fucked up shit you did – and there was plenty – you did one thing right, even if it was wrong.

And while I doubt you even remember me – let alone care what I’ve done – it doesn’t matter.

Because I didn’t come back and didn’t come crawling and so for that, I won, so there.

It’s Easter long-weekend that then leads into a big week for me/Colenso – from us hosting Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast to me saying goodbye [for the second time] to someone who is very special to me … so have a great weekend, overeat Chocolate and Hot Cross Buns and I’ll see you Tuesday.

Till then, this is for you AC.

With thanks.

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