The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

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The Secret Of Success For People Starting Out …

As we approach the end of the first month of 2026 – and I have to be up very, very early – I thought I’d drop this now and end ‘January’ on a rant. Except it’s a rant of hope, rather than pain. Maybe – hahaha.

Life is tough.

It’s demanding, challenging and expensive.

Some are dealt a very good hand, most have to deal with what they’re given.

It’s because of this, we look for things that let us feel we’re doing something right.

It might be putting food on the table.
It might be buying fashion or tech.
It might be progressing your career.

I am not here to judge anyone on that, we’re all dealing with our own shit and what gets us through, gets us through.

However, where it does bother me, is how this is increasingly being presented on platforms like Linkedin.

When I look there, it feels the ambition is to achieve ‘ultimate professional clout’.

Now I get ‘clout’ is old terminology … but it seems to capture the attitude of many, perfectly.

Be THE leader.
Be THE role model.
Be THE most popular.
Be THE judge of what matters.
Be THE most successful person.

To be honest, I find it all a bit repulsive – especially as it seems to be all about celebrating attitude, behaviour and bravado over anything more tangible and meaningful – but again, if it works for them so be it. After all, this need for pedestal posturing is hardly a new phenomenon, as I wrote about it – albeit not related to Linkedin – way back in 2012.

However, where it does become a problem to me is in terms of the message it sends out to the upcoming colleague.

Especially the next gen of marketing/advertising colleague.

In some ways, they’ve got their shit much better worked out than I ever did – as demonstrated by the ‘great resignation’, that was really the ‘great reset‘. However, as I wrote not that long ago, there’s a hell of a lot of people out there who think ‘success’ is far more about acting like a ‘thought leader’ than doing and making stuff that makes people think.

It’s not their fault.

The platforms celebrate it.
The industry champions it.
The companies promote it.

Hell, the only training companies seem to do these days is generic, one-size-fits-all approaches everyone does … so they’re designed to make you fit in, rather than develop you to be able to stand out.

Which is why I want to sound the oldest fuck in the entire universe by leaving anyone thinking of working in my industry with this.

The marketing and advertising industry can be an incredible place. It has given me a life I could never have imagined. I’ve been able to work, collaborate and learn from people all over the World who are unbelievably talented and creative. It has provided me with chances and opportunities that have allowed me to expand who I am, without demanding I change who I am. And while I started in it before many of you were even born, it is still possible. Not easy, but still possible.

But while it is understandable you want to feel you fit in. While it is understandable you want to move up the ladder as quickly as you can. While it is understandable you want to increase the chances of success. While it is understandable you think you have loads of time to do all you want … the way to achieve it is not the way you are being told by everyone else.

Because the secret to this industry is to live the fullest life you can.

Not your work life, but your life. And there’s one major reason for that …

Because creativity – whether we’re talking about strategy, production, media, account management, design – is born, nurtured and crafted through your exposure to experiences.

The people you meet.
The places you go.
The stories you hear.
The concerts you see.
The food you eat.
The books you read.
The museums you visit.
The history you learn.
The lessons you try.
The shit you get up to.

Because all of it – every single bit – somehow comes together and help forge YOUR opinion, rather than mimic everyone else’s.

Basically, the bigger the life, the more you’ll breed your own originality, independence. ideas, craft and voice.

Please note I’m not saying you can just piss about and it will all work out. While openness and spontaneity has a role to play, it’s a deliberate act. You are making a conscious choice. Because whoever you are … growing, learning, expanding and just doing fun and interesting shit takes a lot of hard work.

That doesn’t mean I’m saying you should work all hours in the office, but by the same token, you shouldn’t have the attitude you’re only going to put in effort to better yourself when someone is paying you for it. Sure, companies should absolutely be helping people develop outside of their generic, outsourced, annual training program … but if you don’t want to aid to your own development – by that, I mean exposing yourself to the biggest life you can [as detailed above] – then you’re not denying your potential, you’re undermining it and, without wishing to sounds a total prick, you deserve what you won’t get.

Which is why, if you read only one thing I ever write – and I’ve written a fuckton about this sort of thing over the 19+ years I’ve been churning out this blog – it’s this.

The secret to success is defining it on your terms, not on the Ranters of Linkedin™.

Here is the model on how to get there …


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A Lot Can Happen In 12 Months …

It’s Monday. In the first few weeks of going back to work after a longish break. And all we are hearing is shit, depressing news from all over the World … so you would imagine today’s post would continue that theme of darkness, and yet it isn’t.

No seriously. It’s bordering on embarrassingly cheery and happy. Admittedly, cheery and happy for me – but given so many people have contributed to the reason for this, I’m hoping it has some positive effect on you too.

So as the title of this post states – a lot can happen in 12 months.

I appreciate you’re saying “no shit”, but as I pointed out, I’m not talking about global events, tech companies or the economy … I’m talking about this from a very, very personal point of view.

Truth be told, when you get to my age, a lot of life has found its natural rhythm so while there will be ups and downs, overall you tend to know how to surf life’s waves.

But the last year for me was pretty extreme.

Don’t get me wrong, the overall view of the year was good – as I wrote about here – but apart from the tragedy of losing many friends and a fucked-up situation with someone I thought was a better human than they proved themselves to be, the biggest challenge I faced was my sight.

I’ve had eye problems since I was 21 but in January 2025, my ‘good’ eye got an infection in Penang, Malaysia that commenced one of the worst medical rollercoasters I’ve had in my life.

And I’ve had a few.

What was initially considered to be a few weeks of discomfort turned into weekly – often daily – hospital visits, endless tests, a range of medical experts being called in, over 50 meds-a-day, a diagnosis so rare it become a medical ‘white paper’ and … worst of all … blindness.

Proper blindness.

The impact of all this on my mental health was pretty severe. To be honest, I hadn’t really realised how much until the festive holiday where my body had the time to finally start to loosen the tension it had been holding – and this was despite visiting a psychologist both after a particularly bad test result and when I was weighing up whether to do the operation as the risks were pretty high.

I say all this because last week I went in for another check-up. My first of the new year … and while the operation had been a success – thanks to my doctor, my surgeons and the intervention of the wonderful PM and his high profile ‘clients’, who organised the specialist who actually invented the operation I was going to have, to come to NZ and consult on my procedure – we didn’t know if it would turnaround my situation.

The good news was after the op, I had some vision – which was a massive news, however I couldn’t see much other than certain blurs of beige.

But over the weeks, with the post-op meds, rest and time – I did sense things were improving, but given one of the issues I had was pressure build up [which you don’t feel] I was pretty apprehensive.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, my check-up revealed the pressure was very good – as in, ‘fully under control’, which meant the main part of the operation had not just worked, but was holding. But then the shockingly good news.

My eyesight was better than my other eye.

That’s right, my operated eye was – under certain conditions – performing better than the eye I’d been relying on for the past 12 months. The irony being that eye was previously shit given my detached retina when I was 21 … but such is the magic of the brain, it has somehow improved to compensate for for my blindness, but now – as the other eye was getting better – it decided not to try so hard.

I cannot tell you what it felt like to hear that.

To be fair, even the specialist and surgeon were shocked at the level and speed of improvement … but they have not just given me the ability to see again, they’ve almost returned my eyesight to pre-illness levels.

No more bumping into people.
No more having my phone screen on max zoom.
No more going to hospital every day and week.
And maybe, no more dressing like a ‘festival chick’ for the Colenso Christmas party.
[Which happened post-op so I literally have zero excuse, haha]

I know, your eyes are now fucked after that image aren’t they. Sorry. At least I can recommend some excellent medical experts. You’re welcome – hahaha.

Anyway, while I’ll need medication for the rest of my life, have regular check-ups and be mindful of lifting heavy items … it really feels like I’ve been given my whole life back.

I know that sounds dramatic. I know there are many others worse off than I ever was or would have been. And I appreciate I was very lucky that I saw a GP quickly … they recognised the severity of the problem straight away … and I had the insurance – and unexpected contacts – who got me the best specialists and surgeons in the country (and worldwide) but there were moments where I felt, with good reason, that the life I had may be taken away from me.

I know I’d have survived.
I know I’d have got through it.
But the problem is at the time, you focus on what’s going to change rather than what you’re going to do … which is why I’m so grateful to everyone who helped, supported and encouraged me over the past 12 months.

From family and friends to nurses and doctors to colleagues and clients to acquaintances and strangers. All of you helped make sure that however dark some moments were, the light was never completely out. Even it is was in my eye. Ha.

So thank you. Thank you so, so much.

And god bless medicine and all you work with it and practice it. At a time where we have global leaders trying to diminish and undermine medical science and medical care, it’s the doctors and nurses we should be listening to, celebrating and compensating – they’re the hero’s, not the entitled egotists who claim to represent the people but only care for themselves.

And if I thought I could see through their bullshit before, I can see it even more clearly now.

Literally and metaphorically.

So with that, happy Monday … but probably not as happy as I will be.

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Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me

So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:

1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]

2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.

That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.

The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.

Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.

But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.

And what high points they were …

Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.

Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.

I got some lovely new tattoos.

Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.

Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.

Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.

My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.

Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …

I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.

Now back to other stuff …

I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.

Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.

Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.

Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.

Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]

Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.

Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.

Talking of Colenso ….

We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.

In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]

As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.

Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.

Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!

How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.

And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.

I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.

Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.

He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.

Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.

And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.

It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.

Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.

Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.

So to my dear Otis …

Happy birthday my wonderful son.

I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.

I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.

Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.

Love you.

Rx

I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.

Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.

Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.

And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.

Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.

See you on the other side.

Rx

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The Ceremony Of Purchase In The Pursuit Of Perfection …

Over the years I’ve written a lot about brands who spend time and money ensuring their customers feel they’ve purchased something of significantly greater value than the functional cost of the item they’ve purchased.

The original ‘brand experience’ as it were.

There’s Tiffany with their iconic ‘little blue box’.

There’s Apple with their packaging and attention to detail.

Hell, there’s even Absolut with their special edition bottles – though I accept that’s more a satisfying novelty than something that builds real additional value for the brand.

But what I find interesting is for all the talk of ‘brand experience’, most brands – except those truly in the luxury space – suck at it. And that’s not counting the masses of brands who don’t even bother with it – often believing their customers should consider themselves fortunate for owning whatever it is they’ve just handed over their cash to buy.

But that aside … the problem with a lot of ‘brand experience’ is it’s starting point is the cost to do it, not the emotion they ignite because of it – so we end up with countless Temu versions of whatever it is they want to do or what they think people want to get.

Now I am not saying that these approaches don’t work or aren’t liked, but we end up in parity status very quickly – which has the result of completely nullifying whatever ‘value’ you hoped you would get from it in the first place.

The reality is experience is less about what you do and how you do it …

Not just for distinctiveness.
Not just for memorability.
But because it conveys what you value and the standards you keep.

This should be obvious as hell – but the problem is, when companies evaluate it against the cost – or time – many view it as an expense rather than an investment in their brand and customer relationship, so before you know it, they strip things back to its most basic form.

It’s why I love how Japanese brands tend to approach brand experience.

As a society, care and attention seem to be built into the DNA.

You just have to see how they package anything to realise they – if anything – over engineer brand experience.

It’s a culture that places high importance on standards, respect and consistency – which is why I like this video of someone picking up their new Lexus car.

On one level, it’s not that different to a lot of car manufacturers around the world who place a bow or blanket over a car when it’s about to be picked up, however when they do it – you know the amount of effort involved in executing is minimal, whereas this – whether part of a fixed process or not – requires commitment and time.

Is this overkill?

Yep.

Is this more culturally influenced than category?

Undoubtedly.

And is the whole thing a bit awkward?

For many, it absolutely would be.

However, the point of the Lexus example is less about what they do and more a case of showing a brand who are committed to expressing who they are and who they’re for – because where brand experience is concerned, too many companies approach this key part of the ‘sales process’ with passive energy whereas Japan is almost aggressive in ensuring its point of view in expressed in an active and engaged manner.

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