Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Death, Emotion, Empathy, Friendship, Humanity, Life, Love, Loyalty
Got to be honest, I am glad to see the back of September.
There’s been some really good bits, but there’s definitely been a cavalcade of bad.
They say bad news comes in 3’s, well September proved it can come in much bigger numbers than that.
Which leads to the point of this post … and it’s bleak. Especially for a Tuesday. But it’s also real.
You see, the older you get, the more you welcome death into your life.
I’m not talking about celebrities, I mean friends, family members or friends of the family.
Of course, this can happen at any age – after all, I lost my Dad when I was still in my twenties and the posts I wrote following Mum’s death capture the emotional rollercoaster it can trigger in all of us – but growing old does tend to increase the level of loss you feel when learning of someone passing.
I know that sounds counter intuitive given you experience it more, but it’s true. Mainly because you never really get used to it happening.
Sure, the pain and sadness varies depending on who it is and the relationship you had with them, but it always affects you.
Even more so when the people are younger than you.
Over the last couple of months – literally 8 weeks – I’ve learned the sad news that 6 people I knew, had died.
SIX.
Three were ex-colleagues, one was a generous soul who I’d met a number of years ago and 2 were dear friends.
While I got on well with all of them, we weren’t living in each-others pockets beyond the odd note, the odd Instagram comment and the annual ‘birthday’ best wishes.
It wasn’t always like that, but life has a way of impacting availability even if you really try for it not to … which may explains why – bar Billy – I discovered their sad news via social media.
I wish I could say my first reaction was shock, but it wasn’t … it was confusion.
In each case I would read the ‘update’ on social media and then look at attached photo and not understand how these two things were connected.
One representing the worst of life. The other, showing them in the most vibrant expression of it.
And then, when I finally registered the reality of the situation – I found myself just going down a rabbit hole of their life.
Trying to understand what had happened.
Trying to know more about the life they had lived.
Trying to learn about the relationships that mattered most to them.
Trying to make sense of the last days, weeks and months of their life.
Trying to find the last time we had spent a good amount of time together.
Of course none of this changes the tragedy of it all, but in a weird way it helped me feel connected to them while also honouring them.
And I have felt a real need to honour them because they were all amazing people in a whole host of amazing ways.
Much better than I will ever be.
Now I appreciate this may all sound like I’ve gone mad but this approach has really helped me come to terms with their loss and if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the dealings with death – what works for you, is all that matters.
But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t hurt.
Hasn’t left scars.
If truth be told, the impact of their loss – underpinned by the shitshow that is my eye and another friend dealing with the rapid decline of a parent who has been in my life my whole life – has had a pretty devastating effect on me.
It’s made me question a lot of things …
Decisions I’ve made.
Decisions I’ve yet to make.
The things I put my energy into.
The things I am expected to put my energy into.
All the sliding doors moments that I have walked past rather than walked through.
And while that all sounds bleak, the reality is it has served as an important reminder that so much of how we live is focused on what we should do rather than what we want to do.
That does not mean it justifies any act of selfishness … but it does validate embracing the opportunities, possibilities and people who bring you the greatest happiness, pleasure or excitement.
I’ve not always been the best at this.
I’ve allowed life to get in the way of what – or who – energises my life far too often.
I’ve seen people, places and opportunities pass me by that – had I stopped worrying about what I am expected to do – could have had a profound effect on many aspects of who I am and how I live.
That doesn’t mean I am disappointed with what I have and what I have done – far from it – I feel incredibly fortunate to be able to be so bloody blessed in so many ways. But it also doesn’t blanket the fact I’ve let moments, people and possibilities slip through my fingers that I felt at the time were potentially hugely important to me or good for me, because I allowed things I shouldn’t have regarded as more important at the time, be more important.
Maybe out of duty.
Maybe out of routine.
Maybe out of fear for realising what I’d settled for versus what I could have done or had.
A long time ago, a friend of mine told me their approach to life was “live a little bit more stupidly”.
I still really like that.
A little bit more stupid might be the most sensible thing I’ve ever heard.
Which leads to the point of this post …
Life’s short.
Far too short to spend it with pricks, processes and problems that take more from us than add to us … and yet most of us find ourselves doing exactly that in some way. Every single day.
Of course I appreciate it is rarely out of choice, but it happens because life is always happening … but what the results in is us often failing to appreciate what’s passing us by.
Or worse, what’s getting ready to say goodbye.
I think about ‘lasts’ quite a lot.
Last meal.
Last hug.
Last laugh.
Last conversation.
A last and final goodbye.
And while we rarely know when the end is going to come, the one thing we can do to counter it is to be present in the things that make us happy and the lives of those who matter most.
Not just when death is approaching, but when opportunity is screaming.
Which is why I hope this post might inspire someone to make the time to make that call.
To a loved one.
A friend.
A family member.
A colleague.
A significant other.
A significant other, you’ve never shared that with.
A person you’ve let a pointless disagreement become a stranger.
Because if losing one of those people hurts, I can assure you knowing you let them go before they even left is even worse.
Life isn’t perfect.
It can be messy and complicated.
Which is why the connections that matter should be all that matters.
However unlikely, inconvenient or challenging they may be to sustain.
Last thing.
I get this sounds like I’m sad. Well I am. But here’s the thing – so I should be. If I wasn’t, that would be far scarier … so know that I write this because I am good, just frustrated I’ve needed the worst of times to remind me to seize the best of life.
So to September, I say goodbye.
Apart from a couple of special things that happened, you were an asshole, which is why I hereby lay you to rest.
Thank God.
Filed under: Chaos, Colleagues, Cynic, Death, Life, Love, Loyalty, Respect
Earlier this week, I – along with the rest of the cynic mob – received some terribly sad news.
Billy … known as Billy Whizz, and an old cynic colleague and prolific insulter in the early days of this blog … passed away.
He was 45.
He was a brilliant, talented, infectious maniac.
Writer.
Partier.
Trouble maker.
Mischief conductor.
Failed philanderer.
He was the storm that whipped up the best trouble.
And as much as he would do his best to hide his smarts behind his dumbass chic, he never could quite contain it.
Of course not, it was brigher than the sun.
Now 45 is far too young an age but to be fair to him, he used to tell us all he was shocked he was still here when he was 21.
Part of that was because he was always lived like he was driving at 100mph.
Along a narrow road.
On a sheer cliff
At night.
With the lights off.
In the rain.
And while he knew he was being dangeorous – always on the cusp of having a crash – it was also where he was his happiest, the beautiful idiot.
In many ways he was the glue that made the chaos of cynic produce infectious harmony … and while the photo above is not the typical ‘in memory’ pic, I know if anyone would approve of it, it would be Billy.
Taken at the cynic Christmas party in 2003 … it will be forever be known for being the precursor to what we called the infamous ‘vomit bucket’ incident.
He was so proud of causing that, which sums up every part of his manic, foolish brilliance.
I hoped I could be at his funeral in Rome this Saturday, but sadly my eye has put paid to that. I am devastated I will not be able to pay my final respects and say my last goodbyes, but I’m so glad so many of the cynic mob will be there to do it for the rest of us.
Which is why I want to leave this post with this.
Hey Billy. You asshole. Why did you go and die?
Well you have so I need to tell you something.
Some of my best ‘terrible memories’ revolve around you and your wild ways.
I hope that makes you happy and proud. It should, because the best lives have the stupidest stories and you were the author of more than a few of mine.
They say “you only live once but if you do it right, once is all you need”. Well, you definitely did it right … which helps me come to terms with why you left so soon.
I’m so sorry and sad you’ve gone my friend. I’ll think of you in every storm.
Till we meet again … probably in the back alleys of hell.
Love you.
Got to admit, this hit me hard.
On the positive, I guess I can now officially call myself an adult. Kinda.
Good job there’s some good bits in getting ‘older’ or why would anyone want to do it.
Then again, with AI … we might even have that taken away from us.
Hell, it makes ‘being busy’ seem an act of rebellion doesn’t it … putting aside the fact that is about as sad, toxic and limp-shit rebellious as you can get.
So with that, it just leaves me with one thing to say:
Happy Monday. Ahem. Hahahaha!
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Cliches, Collaboration, Colleagues, Comment, Complicity, Conformity, Context, Craft, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Life, Linkedin, Luck, Mediocrity, Popularity, Relevance, Reputation, Respect
As we approach the end of the first month of 2026 – and I have to be up very, very early – I thought I’d drop this now and end ‘January’ on a rant. Except it’s a rant of hope, rather than pain. Maybe – hahaha.
Life is tough.
It’s demanding, challenging and expensive.
Some are dealt a very good hand, most have to deal with what they’re given.
It’s because of this, we look for things that let us feel we’re doing something right.
It might be putting food on the table.
It might be buying fashion or tech.
It might be progressing your career.
I am not here to judge anyone on that, we’re all dealing with our own shit and what gets us through, gets us through.
However, where it does bother me, is how this is increasingly being presented on platforms like Linkedin.
When I look there, it feels the ambition is to achieve ‘ultimate professional clout’.
Now I get ‘clout’ is old terminology … but it seems to capture the attitude of many, perfectly.
Be THE leader.
Be THE role model.
Be THE most popular.
Be THE judge of what matters.
Be THE most successful person.
To be honest, I find it all a bit repulsive – especially as it seems to be all about celebrating attitude, behaviour and bravado over anything more tangible and meaningful – but again, if it works for them so be it. After all, this need for pedestal posturing is hardly a new phenomenon, as I wrote about it – albeit not related to Linkedin – way back in 2012.
However, where it does become a problem to me is in terms of the message it sends out to the upcoming colleague.
Especially the next gen of marketing/advertising colleague.
In some ways, they’ve got their shit much better worked out than I ever did – as demonstrated by the ‘great resignation’, that was really the ‘great reset‘. However, as I wrote not that long ago, there’s a hell of a lot of people out there who think ‘success’ is far more about acting like a ‘thought leader’ than doing and making stuff that makes people think.
It’s not their fault.
The platforms celebrate it.
The industry champions it.
The companies promote it.
Hell, the only training companies seem to do these days is generic, one-size-fits-all approaches everyone does … so they’re designed to make you fit in, rather than develop you to be able to stand out.
Which is why I want to sound the oldest fuck in the entire universe by leaving anyone thinking of working in my industry with this.
The marketing and advertising industry can be an incredible place. It has given me a life I could never have imagined. I’ve been able to work, collaborate and learn from people all over the World who are unbelievably talented and creative. It has provided me with chances and opportunities that have allowed me to expand who I am, without demanding I change who I am. And while I started in it before many of you were even born, it is still possible. Not easy, but still possible.
But while it is understandable you want to feel you fit in. While it is understandable you want to move up the ladder as quickly as you can. While it is understandable you want to increase the chances of success. While it is understandable you think you have loads of time to do all you want … the way to achieve it is not the way you are being told by everyone else.
Because the secret to this industry is to live the fullest life you can.
Not your work life, but your life. And there’s one major reason for that …
Because creativity – whether we’re talking about strategy, production, media, account management, design – is born, nurtured and crafted through your exposure to experiences.
The people you meet.
The places you go.
The stories you hear.
The concerts you see.
The food you eat.
The books you read.
The museums you visit.
The history you learn.
The lessons you try.
The shit you get up to.
Because all of it – every single bit – somehow comes together and help forge YOUR opinion, rather than mimic everyone else’s.
Basically, the bigger the life, the more you’ll breed your own originality, independence. ideas, craft and voice.
Please note I’m not saying you can just piss about and it will all work out. While openness and spontaneity has a role to play, it’s a deliberate act. You are making a conscious choice. Because whoever you are … growing, learning, expanding and just doing fun and interesting shit takes a lot of hard work.
That doesn’t mean I’m saying you should work all hours in the office, but by the same token, you shouldn’t have the attitude you’re only going to put in effort to better yourself when someone is paying you for it. Sure, companies should absolutely be helping people develop outside of their generic, outsourced, annual training program … but if you don’t want to aid to your own development – by that, I mean exposing yourself to the biggest life you can [as detailed above] – then you’re not denying your potential, you’re undermining it and, without wishing to sounds a total prick, you deserve what you won’t get.
Which is why, if you read only one thing I ever write – and I’ve written a fuckton about this sort of thing over the 19+ years I’ve been churning out this blog – it’s this.
The secret to success is defining it on your terms, not on the Ranters of Linkedin™.
Here is the model on how to get there …