The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

Comments Off on If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …


Stop Making The Problem About What Is The Problem …

We’re only a few weeks into 2026 and yet last week, a planner in London reached out to me to ask for some advice because they were already feeling burned out by work.

Obviously I’m not going to give details about who they are or where they work, but what I can tell you is their stress wasn’t because of workload, but because they were working with a client who could not clearly define the business problem they needed addressing, and then was blaming them for not giving them a solution they felt was appropriate.

In many ways, this is one of the most frustrating challenges in advertising today.

Where someone uses rounds and rounds of creative work to try and work out what’s the problem they need/want to solve.

Now there’s many reasons for this …

One is that too many companies have completely undermined, destroyed and devalued the role of marketing within their organizations – resulting in a lack of training, a lack of standards, a lack of C-Suite credibility and an unspoken rule that you are only empowered to say no to proposals and opportunities.

But frankly, the blame for this scenario is shared.

Because too many agencies have also completely undermined, destroyed and devalued the role of creativity within their organizations – resulting in a lack of training, a lack of standards, a lack of backbone and an unspoken rule that yo are only empowered to say ‘yes’ to a lack of clarity on problems and challenges.

What a shitshow.

Worse, what a waste of time.

So what ends up happening is both sides throw shade and blame at each other without realizing their own complicity in what’s going on, which results in ..

+ Everything taking 10 times longer than it needs to.
+ Everything getting more complex, confusing and opaque.
+ Everything being designed for – and decided by – committees.
+ Everything requiring more presentations and rounds of work.
+ Everything getting shaped by internal politics/managing up.
+ Everything being chipped away and diluted to beige.

Now of course, not every company, agency or brief is like this.

But a lot are – increasingly so – which is why it’s not exactly surprising the planner who reached out was feeling so burned out. And I’ve not even mentioned the role of procurement, the toxicity of the ‘sprint‘ or the outsourcing to AI to make things feel even worse.

And while this situation is no good for anyone – literally no one – what really bothered me was the fact this planner felt completely isolated by his boss, the team he worked into and the client he was working for.

Everyone appreciated the issue, but no one wanted to address it.

And there lies the fundamental issue that is killing the industry.

Because as I’ve said many times, the only way you get to make great things is if 3 things are present.

1. Clarity on what problem you are solving.
2. Shared responsibility in how that can be achieved.
3. Trust each other and be transparent with each other.

All three are needed all of the time.

And while that might seem like fantasy, I can tell you, it can – and does – happen, even though I appreciate it is seemingly becoming rarer and rarer.

But it can change, though it needs everyone to take responsibility for it – specifically senior people – because without that, the ‘stress reduction’ system shown at the top of this page will become the next global marketing tool found in every marketing department and ad agency around the World.

Comments Off on Stop Making The Problem About What Is The Problem …


Why Too Much Marketing Theory Lives In An Ego Filled Vacuum …

Once upon a time, I was asked to help a client based in Thailand.

They were very successful – having made Thailand the most profitable market in the World for their particular brand.

Anyway, part of the project involved a workshop and part of that workshop was about identifying new variants for their product.

So far, so good.

Until I realized they weren’t looking at this to expand who could become a customer of theirs, but how to get existing customers to buy more of what they make.

Even that was OK, until it became apparent they believed their product was so loved, their customers would continually fill their shopping baskets with 3 or 4 different versions of the same product because they just liked the ability to consume it in more places at more times.

In short, they believed the more versions of their product they made, the more volume of products their customers would buy.

Every time.

Forget that people have a finite amount of money.
Forget that people have other bills, items, people to look after.
They believed, if you made it … people would just blindly buy.

It’s the same blinkered approach that some sales organizations have.

Where they believe if one salesman brings in a million dollars of revenue a year, hiring 11 more will mean they achieve 12 million dollars of revenue.

It’s both blinkered thinking and wishful thinking.

Or – as my father used to say – “the expansion of logic without logic”.

I say this because it feels companies are viewing the subscription model in a similar way.

Once upon a time, subscriptions were seen as the exciting new thing for business.

A new way to charge for your products and services … regardless that ‘direct debit’ payments had been around for years.

There were 3 key reasons why repositioning cost as a subscription was so appealing:

1 It lowered the barrier to entry, so it could appeal to more/new customers.
2 They knew that while customers ‘could’ cancel at any time, data showed most wouldn’t.
3 It could, in theory, allow them to charge more per month than their old annual fee.

And they were right, it proved to be a revelation … until it wasn’t.

Right now, everything is seemingly a subscription model.

Food.
Clothes.
Streaming.
Gym and health.
Car purchasing.

But the one that really is making me laugh, are phone apps.


It’s almost impossible to download anything without it being a subscription service.

And that would be OK, except the prices they want to charge are getting out of control.

I recently downloaded a recipe app that wanted $14.99 A WEEK. A FUCKING WEEK.

$60 a month just so I could send it healthy recipes I see on social media and have them all in one, easy-to-access place.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Sure, it had some features that would make it more convenient than just putting it into a saved folder on instagram … but it sure-as-shit isn’t worth me paying more than it costs me for Netflix, Disney+ and Spotify PUT TOGETHER.

I appreciate everyone thinks their product is the best product.

I acknowledge it takes a lot of hard work and money to make a new product.

But the removal of any ‘human reality context’ – ie: how much money do people actually have available to spend, and the hierarchy of importance they place on the things they spend – is not just stupid, it destroys the potential of good ideas.

Of course, part of the reason for this is because of how tech investment works.

Basically investors want big returns, very fast … so this pushes developers to build economic models based on a ‘perfect scenario’ situations.

For perfect scenario, read: not real life.

So they show things like:

The economic value of the health industry.
The impact of social media on diet choices.
The rise of health-focused products and services.

And before you know it, they’ve extrapolated all this ‘data’ to come up with a price point of $60 per month and said it not only offers good value, but will generate huge returns on the investment in collapsed time.

Except …

+ All this is theory because they haven’t talked to anyone who would actually use it.

+ They probably haven’t identified who they need to use it beyond ‘health seekers’.

+ And they absolutely haven’t understood it costs a lot of money to be healthy and so an additional $60 subscription for the average person is a cost too far … especially when things they use ALL THE TIME – like Netflix [which they already think is too expensive] – is a quarter of that cost FOR THE MONTH.

I get no one likes to hear problems.

I appreciate anyone can find faults if they really want to.

But being ‘objective’ is not about killing ideas – when done right – it’s about enabling them to thrive, which is why I hope business stops looking at audiences in ‘the zoo’ and starts respecting them in ‘the jungle’ … because not only will it mean good ideas stand more chance of becoming good business, it also means people will have more access to things that could actually help them, without it destroying them in other ways.

As perfectly expressed by Clint, the founder of Corteiz …

Comments Off on Why Too Much Marketing Theory Lives In An Ego Filled Vacuum …


We Are All Complicit To All We’re Complaining About …

OK, I’ve given you a couple of days of niceish posts to help ease you into the new year, so I think it’s time I write some stuff that lets out some of my seemingly endless frustrations – ha.

As we all know, there’s a ton of talk about the longevity of the industry with things like corporate consolidation, AI and processes and systems.

I get that and there should be that … but what bothers me is a lot of the conversations are not focused on what got us here.

Because for all the talk about the obsession with efficiency and the ‘illusion’ of effectiveness, what is rarely discussed is the lack of investment in training.

Don’t get me wrong,’outsourced, for profit’ training programs have their role and value in developing skills – even if many have been devised by people who have often never even worked directly in the industry, let alone made anything of note within it – but so much of this is about creating industry conformity, rather than creation.

Worse, it’s industry conformity often based on an individuals definition of what good work is … which is ALWAYS self-serving for them.

And while – as I said – it still offers some sort of value, it also actively devalues individual talent, potential, craft and creativity.

Or said another way, it allows all the things we are spending so much energy complaining about – to thrive.

Add to that too many people only wanting to develop in a bid to get more money – rather than more ability – and you can see how we got where we’re sitting.

But what bothers me most is how some companies are reacting and responding to this shift.

I don’t mean agencies – who, in the main, are not exactly shining with their ‘strategies’ – but companies.

Because for all the demands they have in terms of expectations and standards, they end up showing nothing really matters as much as cost and time.

Part of this is because – sadly – many companies don’t know the difference between quality and quantity.

Part of this is because – even more sadly – there is a lack of training in their organizations as well, so they’re only empowered to say ‘no’, rather than ‘yes’.

Part of this is – possibly most tragic of all – is that many companies have put themselves in a position where they have allowed procurement to be the ultimate decision maker – despite the fact the only thing most know about other industries is how to ‘compare prices’.

Case in point …

Recently I spoke to a strategist who is not just incredibly experienced, but is pretty incredible.

By that I mean the work they’ve done and the impact they have enabled.

And yet, despite all this, they’re finding it hard to find work … exemplified by recently losing out on a project where – objectively – they would be one of the most qualified people in the entire industry to do this job.

They didn’t lose out because they weren’t known.
They didn’t lose out because they weren’t available.
They lost out because the company thought they could ‘hack the system’ by hiring someone who had worked at the same company as the strategist in question, who was asking for a much lower fee.

Now I get – on face value – that sounds a smart move.

Except that was the only requirement for hiring this person.

They ignored the fact these strategists didn’t work in the same office.
They ignored the fact these strategists didn’t work on the same clients or category.
They ignored the fact they never worked or interacted together.
They ignored the fact one strategist has led work, the other has just supported it.
They ignored the fact one strategist has 16 years of experience, the other has under 5.
They ignored the fact one strategist is at a ‘head of planning’ level, the other is ‘strategist’.

I should point out this does not mean the strategist they chose isn’t good – I know who they are and they have some interesting perspectives – but their experience, context, exposure to senior leaders and overall ability is miles off what the other strategist in question has to offer. There is literally no comparison.

Now this is not their fault … with time, I imagine their abilities [like all of us] will increase dramatically, or it will if they are exposed to people who are willing to develop them, rather than expect them to just execute which sadly – even if they had a full-time job – is increasingly seen as a ‘cost’ rather than an investment … but while I have no desire to deny anyone the ability to make a living [especially young talent who have been forced out of jobs because of costs, workload or mental health] everyone is going to lose here.

Everyone.

The ultra-qualified strategist has to look for another job.
The strategist who has been hired is going to only execute based on their frame-of-reference and standards which, as I pointed out, is not what a job of this magnitude requires. And that’s before we even consider how much this job could hold back their development because they’re not being paid to learn, they’re being paid to do.
The company ends up having a solution that doesn’t liberate the opportunity they have … or the issues they need to contend with.

Of course, where you work has a huge impact on how you grow … and the place both these strategists worked, is excellent.

But there’s a massive difference between being there a few years and many years – not just in terms of the work you do, but the challenges and growth you are exposed to – and so when companies choose to deliberately ignore this … be it for cost, convenience or control reasoning … not only are they undermining their own business, they’re undermining the potential of the person they hired and so we all end up contributing to the situation we’re complaining about while also being blinkered towards.

Train properly.
Pay properly.
Place value on experience, standards and craft.

If you don’t, the position of mayhem that we’re in now will be seen as one of the golden ages of where we’ll end up.

Happy New Year … hahaha.

Comments Off on We Are All Complicit To All We’re Complaining About …


Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me

So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:

1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]

2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.

That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.

The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.

Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.

But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.

And what high points they were …

Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.

Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.

I got some lovely new tattoos.

Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.

Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.

Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.

My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.

Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …

I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.

Now back to other stuff …

I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.

Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.

Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.

Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.

Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]

Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.

Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.

Talking of Colenso ….

We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.

In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]

As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.

Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.

Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!

How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.

And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.

I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.

Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.

He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.

Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.

And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.

It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.

Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.

Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.

So to my dear Otis …

Happy birthday my wonderful son.

I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.

I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.

Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.

Love you.

Rx

I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.

Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.

Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.

And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.

Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.

See you on the other side.

Rx

Comments Off on Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me