The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Forget Systems, Models And Marketing Practice. If You Want To Make Something Great, Learn The Art Of Conflict Management …

A while back, I did some work for the rock band Journey.

The ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ mob.

Anyway, without going into too much detail – though a lot of what I’m going to say is common knowledge so I’m not contravening my NDA, and trust me, I asked – it was a rather tension-filled experience.

Not Red Hot Chili Peppers – or should I say Anthony Kiedis – levels of tension, but definitely not chill, put it that way – hahaha.

This time though, it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with 2 of the band members being at loggerheads.

As I said, the fracture in their relationship has been well documented – and I had been warned before hand – but by the time I was involved with them, it was bordering on toxic.

At this point I feel I should point out they were nothing but kind and considerate to me, but like a guest at a dinner party hosted by a couple who had obviously had a major row prior to your arrival – you could feel the tension in every interaction.

But this is less about that and more about the management teams amazing ability to facilitate and negotiate a truce.

Obviously I can’t go into the specifics, but I watched something magical literally unfold in front of my eyes,

Think of it like a cross between the lessons in the hostage negotiation book, ‘Never Split The Difference’, and Kim Papworth.

For those who don’t know who Kim is, he’s the brilliant ex-ECD of Wieden+Kennedy London – and longtime partner to the brilliant-but-bonkers Tony Davidson – who had this incredible ability to keep ideas he believed in on the table … even when clients were initially protesting against them. But here’s the thing about him that was so good.

It was never through bombastic actions.
Never through threats or intimidation.
Never through pandering or false promises.
But always through listening, then gently providing context, clarity, understanding and perspective.

Nudging them forward, rather than pushing them back.

This is similar to what I saw with Journey, with the result of this approach being this:

I have to say the ability to achieve this outcome was inconceivable to me..

Let’s be honest, you can tell from the tweet that it was not something that was easy. Hell, you can tell from the tweet it was not something even the band members expected to achieve.

But it happened because of the work of the management team – who happen to also be Metallica’s long-term management, so are well versed in knowing how to deal with ‘human differences’ as well as musical ones.

Anyway, having seen this happen up close and personal, I can tell you it is more than a skill, but an art. Well, that and starting the whole process with the steadfast belief there was a solution to be found, even if it no one knewwhere, how or when it would happen.

[I wrote another post about this sort of mindset, also involving hostage negotiator, here]

But it is these two criteria that allowed them to help take opposing forces on a journey they likely never imagined they could go on, let alone initially want to. But to achieve that and then get them to be thankful for it while never feeling pushed, cornered, provoked or bullied … is, to put it bluntly, fucking incredible.

I say all this is because I feel too often the way our industry deals with conflict is with more conflict. Or, alternatively, just putting our collective heads in the sand.

Sure, there are occasions – and individuals – where you have to be aggressive.

As Gloria Allred – the powerful US lawyer, of which there is an interesting documentary about her – once said: “Sometimes, power responds to power”.

But that has to be the exception rather than the rule.

In the vast majority of cases, the goal should never be one person gets battered into submission by the other. The key objective has to be ensuring you have properly listened and understood the issues causing the friction … because with this, you can then help both sides appreciate, value and identify what a mutually advantageous outcome could offer for both parties so they feel positive about taking a step closer towards each other.

I say this like you are an intermediary, but I also mean it when you are the one in the conflict.

Now of course this approach won’t always work, but too often our default setting is ‘submit or savage’ and frankly, no one really wins when we adopt either stance.

I appreciate for some people reading this, they’ll be thinking I have a hell of a nerve writing all this when I can have an argument in an empty house – however, over the years I have [slowly] learned that if you want to increase the odds of making great work actually happen, it’s not just about being good at your job … or having taste … or identifying and valuing a good idea you fine tune with craft … you need to know how to deal and address conflict.

Doesn’t matter what job you have.
Doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing it.
Doesn’t even matter what level of role you’re in.
The fact is, great opportunities are born more from unity, than friction.

So if you want to ensure you keep the tension in the work, rather than the relationship … learn the art of conflict resolution, because that will do more to help you actually create great work, brands and careers than any marketing process or ‘alleged’ mini MBA.

There’s no blog posts till Monday as there’s another holiday in NZ [I know, I know] … so have a great weekend and try not to get into any trouble.

Or if you do, use the context from this post to practice getting out of it, haha.

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The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …

Over the years, I’ve written a lot about collabs.

The good.
The bad.
The ridiculous.

But recently there has been one that has somehow achieved all three. AT ONCE.

That’s right, the glorious, overpowering flavor of Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Heinz mayo.

It’s the combination no one asked for … no one expected and no one imagined could work.

And it doesn’t, and yet it does.

It’s possible the unhealthiest and most unpleasant thing you could ever put in your mouth and yet – if you’re like me – and love Monster Munch, it’s something you could not possibly resist from trying.

Hell, when we moved to London back in 2018, it was literally the first ‘British’ food item I got Otis to try – literally the morning after we arrived – and the fact he liked them [at least he did, then] made me burst with so much pride, I could overlook his development of an American accent. Just. Check it out below..

But here’s the thing, similar to when the Absolut Disco Ball packaging made me buy alcohol, despite having not drunk anything since I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, this collab made me go to absolute lengths to get it into my hands.

You see you couldn’t buy it in NZ so I had to adopt different means.

I wrote to Heinz.
I joined their ‘fan club/DTC’ service.
I explored supermarkets in both America and Australia.
I contacted courier services about getting it and delivering it to me.

In the end, a plea on social media was answered by the incredible thoughtful Jestyn on Twitter/X … who not only got it for me, but sent it to me as well.

And while I would not get it again … the fact is I was not only more excited about it than 99% of brands out there, but I went to greater lengths to get my hands on it than I would for 99% of brands despite the fact I knew it was overtly bad for you and I’m Mr Healthy these days so I was perfectly aware that I’d only ever taste it once.

While there are many possible lessons we could learn from the creation of this, albeit, novelty product – be if fandom, communities or unexpected relevance – the real lesson is to follow, and then protect, the excitement.

The stuff that captures the imagination.
The stuff that changes the conversation.
The stuff that keeps people on their toes.
The stuff everyone keeps referring back to, even when logic tells them not to.

Because as Paula, Martin and I explained at our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk at Cannes back in 2023 … the greatest strategy doesn’t start from a place of logic, it finds the point of most excitement and works back from there.

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If You Want The Work To Lead You Forwards, Learn From Musicians Not Marketing Practice …

So we got through the first week of this blog in 2025.

Congratulations … we all survived and no one died. I think.

That said, the subject matters of the posts have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster with things such as anger, frustration and loss. So with that in mind, I thought I’d end the week on a more positive tone.

Kinda.

One thing I have always actively rallied against is stringent strategic processes.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about rigor or standards – obviously I do – however I don’t think that is demonstrated by blindly following a set process that has pre-determined what is or isn’t of value.

There’s 3 main reasons for this.

1. It automatically narrows and filters what can be used.
2. It ignores differing contexts, situations and categories.
3. You are actively stopping the chance for happy accidents and/or better answers.

It’s one of the main reasons I love working with artists, because at the end of the day – they are the creative – so for them, they determine success by what they FEEL is better rather than what the process tells them it is.

Nothing brought this home more to me than a scene in the documentary about the making of Do They Know It’s Christmas back in 1984.

Bob Geldof and Midge Ure had got together to write a song that they hoped would raise money for the starving in Africa. The single – launched in December ’84 – featured many of the up and coming posters of the era, ‘bullied’ into turning up by the irrepressible Geldof.

Over the space of a chaotic 24 hours, singers … duo … bands … all traipsed into SARM studios to record a song that had just been written and no one knew. Amazingly, there were few egos, with everyone focused on what they had to do, but it’s here that we see a brilliant example of letting the process play second fiddle to perfection’.

George Michael was at the mic and told how to sing his line.

He did it, but while sounding good, he felt it did not reflect the power he wanted to put into it.

So he suggested changing the intonation and sang it.

And he was right, it did sound better …

In fact, it became an iconic moment in the song.

But it might not have been if he was working with people obsessed with following the process than valuing what the process is supposed to deliver.

Fortunately, George was being produced by 2 other singers – and the incredible Trevor Horn, who owned SARM – who recognized that what they had suggested was no where near as good as what he had delivered. And so while it had an impact on how the following lines of the song were structured, they embraced it because ultimately, they knew it was better.

Have a look at this:

[As an aside, you should watch this fascinating interview where Geldof explains how self-awareness about his career meant he was uniquely positioned to identify the need and opportunity for the Band Aid single]

Now you may think this is obvious and I shouldn’t be making a big deal out of it.

And you’re right, it is … except we live in an age where too many companies focus more on the systems, processes and marketing practices than what they produce.

If you think I’m talking rubbish, ask yourself this.

Is there more conversation, debate and value placed on the process being put forward or the work delvered?

I would hasten a guess it’s the former.

It blows my mind.

As I said, process is important – but often its developed without any consideration to what it needs to create or change … blindly believing that if the process is ‘right’, then whatever comes out the other end must be too.

Which – as history and marketing has continued to prove – is bollocks.

Almost as bollocks as people sticking with whatever is made – even though they know it’s not as good as it could be – because ultimately they can point to ‘a process’ and outsource any responsibility of output to that.

How fucking cowardly.

But musicians don’t do that.

Musicians play for the song. Always.

Which is why they’re open to possibilities because the goal isn’t control, it’s expression.

Here are two other examples of it …

First Rick Rubin with his suggestion to Jay-Z on how to start 99 Problems

And Eddie van Halen, rearranging Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’ so the solo sounded better:

Let’s be clear here, Jay-Z is hardly a shrinking violet. Same for Jackson. And yet they were open to their guests making a suggestion because they [1] knew it was coming from a good place and [2] it was better.

How often does that happen in our line of work?

How often does someone with ZERO experience in a particular discipline tell someone with a track record how to do their job. How to make something better?

It’s why I laugh when people like Mark Ritson comment on what is/isn’t good creativity.

Don’t get me wrong, he knows a huge amount about marketing practice … he offers real value in developing important marketing 101 rules and behaviours, but he knows fuck all about creativity or innovation.

And I wouldn’t care a less if he didn’t bang on like he was God.

As I said, he is very smart and can make a huge difference to certain sorts of companies. But – despite what he likes to think – not all companies. And the reason why I will always value someone like Rubin more than Ritson is that Rubin plays for the work, not for his own ego.

Open to someone being better. Or smarter. Or just making a better idea.

Not because they don’t care about the process, but because they care more about what it’s supposed to deliver.

Musicians often get dismissed as ramshackle and chaotic.

But if you look at some of the approaches adopted by artists such as Bjork, Metallica, Miley, Travis Scott, ABBA, Radiohead, Dolly Parton, The Black Keys, Rihanna, Marillion, Kendrick Lamare, Prince, Queen, Def Leppard, Pharrell and a whole host more – covering everything from crowdsourcing, business models, brand extensions, distribution management, brand assets, copyright investment, differentiation and distinction, gaming, brand experience and overall innovation in communication to name but a few – you will see they have pioneered more business and communication approaches and practice than almost any of the brands and gurus out there. Or at least done it before most of them.

Part of that is because they’re driven by their need to express themselves with total authenticity. Part of that is because they’re very aware of the context they’re entering – rather than blindly thinking what worked before will automatically work again. And part of that is because the process stops when things outside the process offer something better.

Which is why if you want to increase the odds of making something truly special happen … think like a musician, not a marketing practitioner.

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Forget Emperors New Clothes, It’s The Egg Salad Salesmen You Have To Worry About …

As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.

So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.

How awesome is it?

I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.

The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.

You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.

Of technological advancement.

Of commercial optimisation.

A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.

Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.

Except it wasn’t was it?

Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.

Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.

Not even in Japan.

And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.

Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.

Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?

Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.

An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.

Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.

Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.

Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.

Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]

Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.

Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.

However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.

I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.

We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.

Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.

Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.

Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.

The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.

Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.

Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.

Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.

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The Post Where I Turn Into Gwyneth Paltrow x Oprah Winfrey x Paula Abdul …

So here we are. December.

9 days to my beloved son Otis’ 10th birthday.
18 days to the last blog post of 2024.
23 days to the festive season.
30 days to 2025.

Bloody hell. I mean … if I thought the last 11 months have gone fast, how quick are the next 30 days going to go? Worse, how quick will the gloriously long New Zealand summer holiday fly past.

ARGHHHHHH.

OK, before I wish everything away before I’ve had a chance to do it – and acknowledging I can’t write my ‘year in review’ post quite yet – I’m going to dedicate today’s post to my mob at Colenso.

Not Colenso – they will get that later – but my planning mob.

God they’re annoying.

A bunch of banter-loving, fault exposing, pricks.

But you know what else they are?

Smart, funny, caring, curious humans. All of them. Even the dodgy ones … of which there’s definitely more than one.

As I’ve written many times before, I’ve always been very lucky with the teams I’ve got to work with. Sure, there have been a couple who have been toxic wankers, but given I’ve been in this industry longer than dinosaurs, I take that as a massive win.

What I’ve loved about all of them is that rather than know interesting things, they’ve done – and do – interesting things. I adore that. I value that. I deeply respect their ability to jump head first into stuff and then naively tell me about what they did and what didn’t work in the naive belief I won’t hold it against them for the rest of their days.

They keep me young and make me old.
They teach me and frustrate me.
They challenge and want to be challenged.
But most of all, they give a fuck.

About the work.
The job.
The standards and each other.

That doesn’t mean it’s a love-fest, oh no … there’s competition. But when the chips are down, they’ll do whatever needs to be done to look after each other. And I mean that … because I’ve seen that. A lot.

Does this mean they’re perfect?

Hell no.

Can they be better at what they do?

Absofuckinglutely … but then, regardless who you are or however long you’ve been doing this, you can be.

Even Paula Bloodworth and she’s as near perfect as anyone I’ve ever met, let alone had the pleasure of working with.

But can you find a better bunch of humans?

Well that would be pushing it.

And the good thing about that is in my experience, the best people in this industry – by that, I mean those who consistently create the best work and ideas – tend to be great humans who just so happen to work in this industry.

They have varied lives, varied backgrounds and varied interests.

What makes them interesting is not simply how they think, but how they live in the world.

At a time where strategic thinking is seemingly being forced into an evermore formulaic approach, this gang of brilliant fools are all – in their own way – trying to break that apart.

It doesn’t always work. It doesn’t always go far enough. But where so many in the industry crave the comfort of the tropes and tribes of strategy, this bunch like to play in the messiness of life.

Or said another way …

They get that interesting lives lead to interesting thinking. Which is why they believe more in the power of creativity than whatever the latest framework, format or buzzword that is being banged on about on Linkedin by someone who has never made anything of note.

I love that about them.

I love we believe in a planning identify more than a process.

And we’re pretty good …

Good enough to have won Global Effies, Grand Prix’s and WARC awards.

Not as one offs, but on going.

Not bad for a teeny-tiny agency on the other side of the planet.

So to Martin, Meg, Gi, Augustine, Tobbi, Emma, Lizzie, T, Syd, James, Caitlin, newbie India – and not forgetting Amy – thank you. For being who you are, for turning down all the agencies who keep trying to hire you [oh I know which agencies you are and what you tried to do – cue: evil laugh ] … but most of all, for putting up with all my HR-violation shit.

Enjoy this, it literally will never happen again.

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