There’s a lot of debate about gender at the moment.
Everyone seems to have an opinion … which then triggers more opinion about the people who expressed an opinion.
It’s become an endless loop of people shouting at each other, rather than listening to each other. As usual.
Which may explain why I loved this story I heard recently.
If you like tomatoes, you must be OK with the trans community …
Because how else can you explain liking something that was born a fruit but identifies as a vegetable?
And I like tomatoes.
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Creativity, Culture, Food, Health, Nottingham Forest, Walking
I’ve always subscribed to the view taking what you do seriously, doesn’t mean you have to take yourself seriously.
Not because it justifies my ‘immaturity tendencies’ [though that helps] but because the act of creativity – commercial or otherwise – requires the ability to be silly, stupid and open to the unlikely or ridiculous.
Not because creativity is superficial, but because it enables the possibilities of it.
For new ideas.
For new perspectives.
For new considerations.
For new collaborations.
For new connections.
For new thinking.
Some don’t get this, because they see creativity as a ‘wrapper’ that can be applied at will to whatever they want.
They tend to be the same people who view the creative process as one big ‘inefficiency’, without realising those ‘inefficiencies’ are the very things that can lead to the magic they seek.
This is not entirely their fault, because – let’s be honest – our industry often doesn’t invite them to be a part of it.
But then, by the same token, you can’t blame them when there is often a reluctance to value that process so it ends up being a hinderance.
It’s why I do find Colenso quite the anomaly.
For 5 decades they’ve been pulling off the ridiculous and impossible.
From building a restaurant in a tree to promote the Yellow Pages … to creating a skin cream to encourage women to check their breasts for lumps … to creating a new fuel for cars to sell beer … to developing technology to help dogs get adopted … to getting the public making ads to promote a low-cost telco, Skinny … to getting families to roast each other so they could open up about their mental health. To name very. very few.
Put simply, Colenso has always been about using creativity to solve problems, rather than create advertising to promote the problem – it’s one of the reasons I revered them long before I joined them – and a big reason for how they have been able to do that is their appreciation of the commercial value of happy accidents.
Not holding things so tightly you can’t let other things in.
Not being so precious you won’t share your thoughts with others.
Not being so locked down it’s impossible to evolve, edit or pivot.
That doesn’t mean we’re a bunch of ‘pleasers’ – truth be told, we’re always a bunch of opinionated buggers – it’s simply that by not taking ourselves too seriously, we stop the ‘process’ of creativity becoming so efficient, it impacts and limits the possibilities of how we solve our clients problems so we can do things people will actually give-a-fuck about.
Or said another way …
Not taking ourselves seriously is most serious way we can be a valuable partner to our clients.
I say all this because I recently had my 5th anniversary at Colenso, and they marked the occasion with some gifts that perfectly capture our ‘seriously unserious’ spirit.
First they got me a bridge climb.
And while that will be a magical and memorable experience, the real reason behind it was to unsubtly tell me they would really like it if I stopped walking 20+kms during the day so I could start doing my work meetings in the office, rather than on the streets.
Secondly they got me a weekly home delivery of sourdough and butter.
Amazing. Except it is not because it’s the food I miss the most – since I got healthy – but because it’s the only guaranteed way to make me have a smile on my face.
And lastly, they organized a personal message from Nottingham Forest legend, Mark Crossley.
Not because I love Forest with all my heart, but because their results affect my mood, and this season I’ve basically been a miserable bastard, bar the last few weeks.
See … piss-taking perfect presents.
But even that doesn’t really capture the tone of how we operate.
But this does …
It’s the card from the CEO of Colenso, Ange …
Whose ‘loving’ words show we share a desk and my health consciousness is not good for her hearing, haha.
So to all the rats of Colenso – past and present, thank you.
You’re not serious. But you are very, very clever. [And a bit kind]
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Comment, Effectiveness, Food, Happiness, Health
Once upon a time, I was very athletic.
I played rugby for the school.
I was one of the fastest 100m runners in the county.
I played football with my mates every single night of the week.
I loved everything, and then – aged 21 – I got a detached retina and everything changed.
The seriousness and fragility of my eye meant anything that could cause trauma was off limits – so apart from not being allowed to do any sport, I wasn’t even allowed to lift anything heavy … and so very quickly, I went from active life, to sedentary life.
Unsurprisingly – yet ironically – the impact of this shift meant that while my eye was OK, the rest of me wasn’t.
And this was my normal for over 30 years.
That doesn’t mean I was happy with what was happening, I wasn’t. In fact, in my darkest days, I really hated it. I hated me.
Who I was. How I looked. How I felt.
And what made things worse was I didn’t know how I could change it.
My eye was still fragile. My work was full-on. And food was one of the only things that gave me momentary joy.
But – as I have documented in the past – things changed 2 years ago when I was convinced to eat well for 3 months.
What’s hilarious is this was not because of my weight, but something else entirely … but something inside of me clicked, and I mentally chose to do it, rather than argue against it.
One of the biggest surprises was how much I relied on food to manage stress. You’d think that would have been obvious but it wasn’t. I remember how one of the things I did was go for a walk every time I found myself going to the fridge outside of breakfast, lunch or dinner.
So I walked a lot.
A hell of a lot.
So much so that it not only was the biggest contributor to me getting healthy again – arguably, healthier than I ever have been – but it got me falling in love with walking and now, running.
That image at the top of the page is a perfect example of that. It is my December result.
That’s right, I walked over 750,000 steps. Over 550 kms.
For someone who used to complain about walking the bin up his drive, that’s pretty amazing.
But then, it was December as I’ve detailed many a time … NZ festive season holidays are brilliantly long.
However, just to prove that was not a fluke, here’s the results of last week.
Yep, proportionally, I walked more than when I was on holiday!
How?
Well, let’s just say I have a lot of walking meetings …
Plus, the more I walk, the more I can eat the bad stuff I bloody love, haha.
But this is just to say, if exercise freaks you out, start with walking … doesn’t matter how far you go … because as long as you do a little bit each day, you’ll not just seamlessly improve on what you can do, but also who you are and who you can become.
Not because weight defines that, but feeling a bit healthier does.
Happy to chat to anyone who wants help with it.
Probably while I’m out walking.
I like food. Actually, that’s wrong, I fucking love food.
Not the fancy stuff, just classic, everyday comfort shit.
It’s why one of the only ways I was able to get healthy was by ridding myself of all temptation and shut it out my life.
So, no ‘cheeky’ bites.
No ‘super small portions’.
No ‘just a taste’. Nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Instead, I replaced my diet with ridiculous amounts of spinach, mushrooms, chicken, fruit and chili flakes. And while that might sound horrific in comparison to what I used to consume, I’ve developed a bunch of different ways to cook it that – along with regular walking/running – has let me lose weight without feeling I am also losing the enjoyment of eating. [or the will to live]
But since losing over 57kgs and maintaining it, I’ve been slowly re-entering normal life … by which, I mean going to the odd restaurant rather than cooking everything myself. And I’ve generally been able to make good choices – without going over-the-top in terms of quantity – however it has also helped me realize that as good as I have been, there are some foods that I am incapable of offering any form of resistance.
If you’d asked me what I thought that food would be when I started this journey, I’d have answered ‘pasta, butter, cheese and salt’ without a moment’s hesitation.
But I was wrong, because if I see that on the menu, I can skip past it without any effort whatsoever.
But bread?
But sausages and mash?
But a fucking banoffee pie?
Nope. Not at all. The moment I see it, my brain shifts …
It starts by screaming ‘DON’T EVEN LOOK AT IT ROB’
Then, within seconds, it starts love bombing me with thoughts like, ‘Maybe you could have a teeny, little bite?’
And almost immediately after, it metaphorically grabs me by the cheeks, looks me right in the eye and tells me, ‘Eat it. You don’t go out often. Put it in your mouth and enjoy it. You’ve earned this. You deserve this’.
And I do.
And yes, I fucking adore it.
And while it’s true I don’t go out to restaurants very often and I am very, very good at all other times, the fact is I do this EVERYTIME I go to a restaurant.
EVERY. TIME.
And here’s the reality …
If I went to a restaurant every day, I’d do it every day. I am helpless to its power.
I love the taste.
I love the texture.
I love the feeling.
I love every single bit of it.
So, whereas I’ve found a healthy, decent alternative to pasta that satisfies my cravings … I haven’t found anything that comes close to that other stuff.
Sure, there’s plenty that claims it … but there’s nothing that comes close.
Which reveals that the biggest challenge with food is not just the taste, but the texture and context … and if the health food companies spent a bit more time on that, maybe more people would feel able to change their life.
But none of that – none of it at all – has anything to do with this post.
Not really. I wrote all that to justify this …
You see a few weeks ago, I was in the office kitchen when I found that tin of mushy peas.
I have no idea why it was there.
I have no idea how long it was there.
But I do know that if I couldn’t have them on chips and gravy – loaded with salt and vinegar – the next best thing would be to heat them up, put a big dollop of mint sauce all over them and, voila, get transported back to my youth at Nottingham’s Goose Fair where each year, we would eat them out of a stylophone cup and say – semi correctly – we were enjoying a big cup of ‘Culinary Jesus’™.
So I did.
Which means not only is there another ‘food’ I have to now add to the bread … banoffee pie … and sausage, mash and gravy kryptonite list, it’s another reason why my doctor is grateful I don’t live in England anymore … haha!
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Airports, America, Comment, Food, Germany, Planes
I appreciate the title of this post is already off-putting.
I also accept what I am about to write is the height of first world problems.
And while I’m at it, I also accept some may interpret this as an attempt to humble brag.
But putting all that aside, have a look at the food I got at the Lufthansa Lounge at JFK in NYC.
Brown. Lots of shades of brown.
Dark brown.
Brown brown.
Orangey brawn.
The Germans really seem to love their browns!
But you know what’s even scarier?
I chose all these items.
That’s right, all of this was my own personal choice.
Admittedly, it was because the other food on offer – unsurprisingly, also brown – was even less appetizing than the tragic plate above, but also because this was the healthiest food available.
The healthiest!!!
A small piece of pretzel bread.
Some baked pumpkin.
A Coke Zero.
OK, I appreciate the Germans aren’t exactly renown for their healthy eating or healthy food but I tell you what, they know how to make tragic items taste bloody awesome.
I bloody loved it.
Every depressing mouthful of it.
Hell, I’d go to errrrm, war for Pretzel bread … well, I would if there was no more Sourdough in existence.
[I have been told by Germans there’s no such thing as Pretzel ‘bread’ … but just like there’s no such thing as Chicken Tikka Masala in India, the outside world decided to take it, bastardise it and enjoyed it in various forms over the years – and for that I am both very, very sorry and very, very grateful]
And while I’m sure there would be many airport lounge visitors who would be outraged at the rubbishness of the JFK Airport, Lufthansa Lounge food offering [which was still less depressing that the interior design of the lounge] I can tell you, for a bloke from Nottingham trying to stay healthy in a way where his taste buds still have some hope … it was epic.
So here’s to Lufthansa …
Your ads may be rubbish.
Your lounge – at least at JFK – may be depressing.
But your food is perfect … at least if you come from Nottingham and have very low standards of discernment.