Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Audiences, Business, Childhood, Context, Culture, Food, Food For Thought, Happiness, Mum & Dad, My Childhood
Recently, I saw this article on Linkedin …
While I appreciate their point, it felt like another example of someone who only sees the world through their own perspective.
And while that’s common – which is why I normally ignore it – the slight diss towards strategists made me bite.
Hence I responded with this …
While I hope it didn’t come across too judgmental or condescending, I also hope my point is made …
Not just in terms of planners being the last people in marketing who are deliberately ignorant, but that one persons ‘reliably not shit’ is another persons ‘taste of the good life’.
As I said in the post, when I was growing up, we would only go out for dinner once – a max – twice a year.
Either to Trattoria Antonio – an Italian Restaurant on Trent Bridge.
Or the Berni Inn, which was called – for added attempt at sophistication – ‘The Chateau’.
Here’s a pic of the place that – sadly – is no longer there. Knocked down to be turned into another faceless shopping industrial estate.
In fact, it was The Chateau where I experienced a lot of my ‘firsts’ where certain foods are concerned …
Steak.
Broccoli.
Onion Rings.
Knickerbockerglory.
My god, I thought it was fancy-as-fuck and to a young kid from Nottingham, it was.
Hell, I still remember being confused by how they advertised their ‘2 courses for 5 quid’ promotion … because they made it sound like it was a bargain when for me/my folks, that was still pricey. Strangely though, I never associated it with lower quality food – such was my lack of exposure to what steak cost or was supposed to taste like, hahaha.
Maybe that’s why I still prefer eating the ‘cheaper-end’ of food rather than the fancy stuff I’ve since been exposed to and experienced … and why every marketer, planner, creative or suit needs to remember if you base audiences on who you want them to be or what your personal perspective and context is, then you may find you’re not just talking to yourself, but that might be the only person you’re talking to.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Corporate Evil, Crap Products In History, Culture, Film, Food, Government, Health, Marketing, McDonalds
Oh my god, it’s October 1.
We are in the last quarter of 2026 and this is good news for a heap of reasons.
+ 2026 hasn’t been the best year so we only have 90 days till the fuckers over.
+ It means we’re officially counting down to one of the best places in the World for summer.
+ Which also means we’re approach one of the greatest festive holiday periods in the universe.
Suddenly, there’s so much optimism and happiness in my world – hahaha. Unfortunately for you, that means you still have 3 months of my ranting rubbish to deal with so let’s start getting it over and done with, with this post …
Do you remember the movie Super Size Me?
It was a documentary by Morgan Spurlock about McDonald’s and what happens to the body if that’s all you eat for a month.
It caused a huge stir for a whole host of reasons.
+ It brought the issue of obesity to the forefront of conversation.
+ It revealed the exploitation of those from more humble backgrounds.
+ It talked about the tension between convenience and quality.
+ It showed the power and influence of corporate farming.
Now was the film perfect?
God no … the book Fast Food Nation did a much more balanced and informed job at doing that. And then there’s the fact Morgan Spurlock was later revealed to be a problematic character – which permanently took the shine off his breakthrough film.
But all that aside, the impact of his movie was pretty swift.
McDonald’s launched a range of healthy alternatives.
They ensured the calorie content of their food was easily available.
And they reminded people that a daily diet of Maccas was not great for your health.
Except – as is the case with most corporations – they worked hard to restore things back into their sweet zone through product and marketing promotions, such as the 99 cent burger deals and the – admittedly brilliant – ‘famous orders’ campaign.
Zoom forward to now and the issue of obesity and fast food is widely known and accepted … and yet, rather than things getting better, they are arguably getting even worse.
More fast food companies.
More calories per meal.
More desire for convenience.
Rise of mukbang culture.
Add to this an economic crisis which means people are increasingly choosing food based on price than quality – not to mention, as I have discovered first hand, how much it costs to eat healthily – and Super Size Me looks more like a dark-comedy than a documentary.
But the ultimate proof that things are bleak for health is that every company is trying to exploit the high-calorie gravy-train.
Yep, that’s KitKat cereal.
From Nestle … the company who states they are all about ‘good food, good life‘.
Hmmmmmn, sorry to burst their bubble but 24.7 grams of sugar, 10.9 grams of fat and roughly 420 calories per 100 grams is not good for anyone – especially the kids they’re obviously targeting.
“But hang on Rob …”, I hear their lawyers cry. “… we recommend a bowl of 30g for kids, which is only around 126 calories”
And maybe that’s true except …
1. The 126 calorie figure DOESN’T include milk, which puts it to around 170.
2. You know what people think is a 30g portion and what it actually is are wildly different.
3. You openly acknowledge it should only be an occasional breakfast because of its lack of goodness – reinforced by the fact even you’re too embarrassed to mention its real calories on your own official website.
[I should point out I’ve not seen their ads for this product, but the usual approach food companies use for selling ‘high-sugar, children targeted foods’ is to say it provides ‘energy’ for growing kids. Which may be true, but also blatantly gaslighting at the same time]
Look, I believe we all have to take responsibility for our own health … but I also believe it’s very difficult when times are tight, good food costs a fortune and we’re surrounded by a whole host of cheap convenience.
So while it’s ultimately our decision and choice, I can’t help but think the Government have a role to play in all of this.
Because if they are here to ensure the health, happiness and wealth of the nation is sustainable … then surely any food company who undermines that through the distribution of products they know are bad for the health and wellbeing of millions, should be considered a potential threat to the nation.
Is that extreme? Maybe.
But let’s face it, they’ve shown they don’t really care about it.
I mean, on one hand you know what you’re dealing with, with Maccas … but when ‘responsible food companies’ like Nestle prove they don’t give a shit, maybe there is a reset that needs to be set.
And while I’m not suggesting they are kicked out – can you imagine the headlines in The Daily Mail if they did that? – maybe they could find some ways to either make it less economically beneficial to keep pushing bad shit on us or to encourage more ways to make good shit more economically available and accessible to us all.
Jesus Christ … who have I become?!
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Airports, America, Comment, Food, Germany, Planes
I appreciate the title of this post is already off-putting.
I also accept what I am about to write is the height of first world problems.
And while I’m at it, I also accept some may interpret this as an attempt to humble brag.
But putting all that aside, have a look at the food I got at the Lufthansa Lounge at JFK in NYC.
Brown. Lots of shades of brown.
Dark brown.
Brown brown.
Orangey brawn.
The Germans really seem to love their browns!
But you know what’s even scarier?
I chose all these items.
That’s right, all of this was my own personal choice.
Admittedly, it was because the other food on offer – unsurprisingly, also brown – was even less appetizing than the tragic plate above, but also because this was the healthiest food available.
The healthiest!!!
A small piece of pretzel bread.
Some baked pumpkin.
A Coke Zero.
OK, I appreciate the Germans aren’t exactly renown for their healthy eating or healthy food but I tell you what, they know how to make tragic items taste bloody awesome.
I bloody loved it.
Every depressing mouthful of it.
Hell, I’d go to errrrm, war for Pretzel bread … well, I would if there was no more Sourdough in existence.
[I have been told by Germans there’s no such thing as Pretzel ‘bread’ … but just like there’s no such thing as Chicken Tikka Masala in India, the outside world decided to take it, bastardise it and enjoyed it in various forms over the years – and for that I am both very, very sorry and very, very grateful]
And while I’m sure there would be many airport lounge visitors who would be outraged at the rubbishness of the JFK Airport, Lufthansa Lounge food offering [which was still less depressing that the interior design of the lounge] I can tell you, for a bloke from Nottingham trying to stay healthy in a way where his taste buds still have some hope … it was epic.
So here’s to Lufthansa …
Your ads may be rubbish.
Your lounge – at least at JFK – may be depressing.
But your food is perfect … at least if you come from Nottingham and have very low standards of discernment.
There’s a lot of debate about gender at the moment.
Everyone seems to have an opinion … which then triggers more opinion about the people who expressed an opinion.
It’s become an endless loop of people shouting at each other, rather than listening to each other. As usual.
Which may explain why I loved this story I heard recently.
If you like tomatoes, you must be OK with the trans community …
Because how else can you explain liking something that was born a fruit but identifies as a vegetable?
And I like tomatoes.
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Creativity, Culture, Food, Health, Nottingham Forest, Walking
I’ve always subscribed to the view taking what you do seriously, doesn’t mean you have to take yourself seriously.
Not because it justifies my ‘immaturity tendencies’ [though that helps] but because the act of creativity – commercial or otherwise – requires the ability to be silly, stupid and open to the unlikely or ridiculous.
Not because creativity is superficial, but because it enables the possibilities of it.
For new ideas.
For new perspectives.
For new considerations.
For new collaborations.
For new connections.
For new thinking.
Some don’t get this, because they see creativity as a ‘wrapper’ that can be applied at will to whatever they want.
They tend to be the same people who view the creative process as one big ‘inefficiency’, without realising those ‘inefficiencies’ are the very things that can lead to the magic they seek.
This is not entirely their fault, because – let’s be honest – our industry often doesn’t invite them to be a part of it.
But then, by the same token, you can’t blame them when there is often a reluctance to value that process so it ends up being a hinderance.
It’s why I do find Colenso quite the anomaly.
For 5 decades they’ve been pulling off the ridiculous and impossible.
From building a restaurant in a tree to promote the Yellow Pages … to creating a skin cream to encourage women to check their breasts for lumps … to creating a new fuel for cars to sell beer … to developing technology to help dogs get adopted … to getting the public making ads to promote a low-cost telco, Skinny … to getting families to roast each other so they could open up about their mental health. To name very. very few.
Put simply, Colenso has always been about using creativity to solve problems, rather than create advertising to promote the problem – it’s one of the reasons I revered them long before I joined them – and a big reason for how they have been able to do that is their appreciation of the commercial value of happy accidents.
Not holding things so tightly you can’t let other things in.
Not being so precious you won’t share your thoughts with others.
Not being so locked down it’s impossible to evolve, edit or pivot.
That doesn’t mean we’re a bunch of ‘pleasers’ – truth be told, we’re always a bunch of opinionated buggers – it’s simply that by not taking ourselves too seriously, we stop the ‘process’ of creativity becoming so efficient, it impacts and limits the possibilities of how we solve our clients problems so we can do things people will actually give-a-fuck about.
Or said another way …
Not taking ourselves seriously is most serious way we can be a valuable partner to our clients.
I say all this because I recently had my 5th anniversary at Colenso, and they marked the occasion with some gifts that perfectly capture our ‘seriously unserious’ spirit.
First they got me a bridge climb.
And while that will be a magical and memorable experience, the real reason behind it was to unsubtly tell me they would really like it if I stopped walking 20+kms during the day so I could start doing my work meetings in the office, rather than on the streets.
Secondly they got me a weekly home delivery of sourdough and butter.
Amazing. Except it is not because it’s the food I miss the most – since I got healthy – but because it’s the only guaranteed way to make me have a smile on my face.
And lastly, they organized a personal message from Nottingham Forest legend, Mark Crossley.
Not because I love Forest with all my heart, but because their results affect my mood, and this season I’ve basically been a miserable bastard, bar the last few weeks.
See … piss-taking perfect presents.
But even that doesn’t really capture the tone of how we operate.
But this does …
It’s the card from the CEO of Colenso, Ange …
Whose ‘loving’ words show we share a desk and my health consciousness is not good for her hearing, haha.
So to all the rats of Colenso – past and present, thank you.
You’re not serious. But you are very, very clever. [And a bit kind]