The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


When Coffee Leaves A Very, Very, Very Bad Taste In Your Mouth …

It’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant, but this is going to be one.

So if you need a peaceful start to your week, look away – otherwise strap yourself in.

One of my real worries for the future o f our industry is not AI … it’s our lack of seriousness.

Before I go on, there’s a couple of things I need to clarify.

First, I am not advocating we add even more process, systems, data and/or logic in what we do – frankly, they’re increasingly becoming an obstacle to both creativity and commerciality as they increasingly view audiences [or worse, ‘consumers’] as walking wallets and the only aim is to bombard them at the moment of potential transaction.

Neither am I suggesting we should be treating all we do like we’re saving the planet with high-concept art. There may be cases where this approach is the right approach … but when I say a lack of seriousness, I mean it in terms of how we think about what we do, more than what we actually create.

For years, the ad industries ‘piece de resistance’ – The Super Bowl – has been a car crash for advertising and marketing. An endless stream of contrived, unsubtle – and often, unfunny – sponsored jokes that feature a production line of celebrities who are all willing to destroy their legacy for a dump-truck of cash being poured into their retirement pension plan.

It’s so depressing.

Sure, every year there’s one – maybe two – ads that really stand out. This year, for me, it was Manscaped … an ad that didn’t feature a celeb, had an actual idea and was actually related to the product they make. But even then, was it up there with 1984 … or Born of Fire? Probably not, but it was fun, memorable and – while not related to the Super Bowl per se – was made for the Super Bowl audience’s entertainment. As was Coin Base’s ‘karaoke’ spot … which, in terms of understanding the Super Bowl ‘ad break’ context they were in and the typical US audience mindset in that context … was a clever idea.

Look, I get how much pressure is in a Super Bowl spot. I’ve been there. It’s a fucking nightmare. There’s an almost endless amount of pressure placed on the work as every-man-and-their-dog adds more judgement, demands and mandatories … fearing their multi-million-dollar investment will be negatively judged by a global audience. And they’re right to worry about that … except the one thing they all seem to forget is the ad agency knows how to write and craft a spot better than all the C-Suite execs put together, so maybe if they let them get on with it, they’d have a higher chance of their work being loved rather than [at best] ignored or [at worse] openly mocked for how bad, contrived and/or embarrassing it is – thanks to either a terrible story/idea, endless and meaningless product features being crammed into the spot and/or the huge pointers in the script to make sure audiences get the gag, because they think people may be too stupid to get it. [When it’s more because they just won’t care]

All this data. All these systems. All this marketing science. And we’re actually getting worse.

And while I appreciate ad agencies have a lot to answer for, they’re not the only reason for this decline – but we’re not allowed to say that are we? Oh no.

We’re not allowed to talk about the impact of procurement departments.
We’re not allowed to talk about the lack of respect for marketing in companies.
We’re not allowed to talk about the dehumanization of people in the research.

And while you may think my tone is being influenced by it being a Monday morning, you’d be wrong – because it has nothing to do with it being the start of the week and everything to do with this:

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the actual fuck!?

And no, it is absolutely NOT an April Fool joke … which would still be bad, but make some sort of sense.

I thought the Ritz Cracker ad at the Super Bowl was possibly the worst thing I had ever seen [and if you haven’t seen it, I am so envious of you] … but I was wrong.

Who came up with this?

How the hell did it get through the endless committees, hierarchies and research?

And why – given the big PR announcements – are they so bloody proud about it?!!

Hell, even the infamous Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad had the good grace to only be tone-deaf and stupid for 40 seconds … but this? THIS???

It actually makes me angry. Properly angry.

Angry our industry is associated with it – even though it smacks of something an internal group at the client came up with or an outside agency who wanted to pander for more business. Angry they will claim this shows how much they ‘understand their customers’. Angry they think they’re sooooo clever and smart for it. Angry that an agency either came up with this or didn’t speak up about this. And angry this is what marketing has become.

Sure, we’ve all suggested some radical [read: daft] ideas down the years.

Name changes.
New product variants.
New category extensions.

But more often than not, they’ve either been killed or they’ve been done with a lot more care, craft and reality than this.

Maxwell Apartments?!
Maxwell fucking Apartments?!
What I find even more confusing is that the owners of Maxwell House – Kraft Heinz – have been so bloody good with their communication over the past few years – or at least Heinz have – which is why whoever sold this [or mandated this] should be both promoted and fired all within the same meeting.

And while I’m sure there’s some people out there that think I am being a snob … I have 5 things I want to end this post with.

1 I understand there may be reasons for this work only those involved would know and – if made public – may help explain why this approach was undertaken. [see: Mouldy Whopper]

2 I understand good intentions don’t always turn into good work for of a million different reasons. [So while I get my hatred may sting, it’s because I know no one intended this to happen]

3 I understand different cultures/audiences have different tastes and maybe I’m not either of them. [Though I did work on Maxwell House at Wieden, so I am aware of the brand and its audiences]

4 Ideas tend to represent the standard of creativity, company, colleague and agency that you’ve been exposed to in your life, and this one smacks of people blinkered by data, inhibited by corporate politics and/or residing in an echo-chamber bubble.

5 And finally – if you think I’m being an asshole – maybe if I tell you how I found out about this idea, you’ll realise I’m trying to encourage us to aim higher, because not only does our industry need it, I know we are more than capable of doing it. You see, I learned of this work – which has been in market since Sept 2025 – from watching a ‘news blooper’ … a news blooper where the TV presenters found it so fucking stupid, they couldn’t stop laughing at it. On air. That’s right, people who are paid to keep a neutral face – whether announcing the best or worst of humanity – couldn’t keep a straight face about this. Not because they loved it, but because they were openly mocking it.

Maybe it made sense at the time.

Maybe everyone involved was suffering an unknown illness.

Or maybe they need better people or a better work culture where this sort of thing can be stopped because people can speak up without being put down so you don’t make newsreaders and the World think you’ve left them with the worst possible taste in their mouth.

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If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

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Run For Your Life, The 1800’s Are Coming …

This is a long post, because it has been written by a lot of rage. Mine.

So buckle up and read it, because while most of what I spout is utter shite. This is important.

Recently someone I know left the company they had been working at for a few years.

When they announced it on Linkedin, they were flooded with supportive, celebratory messages. As they should be.

But there was one other thing that was common among the comments, and that was people writing “what a good run you had”.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear that, it immediately conveys a company who has a reputation for letting people go … and so ‘what a good run’ really means is that you lasted longer than most. That your achievement was as much about staying in the role as it was about what you did in the role.

And to me, that all feels toxic as fuck.

Not by the people saying it.
Or the person it is being said to.
But the organisation who seemingly doesn’t give a fuck about letting people go.

Of course – like US politicians who ask for ‘thoughts and prayers’ after another mass shooting – their corporate mission statement only talks about their belief in their people …

How they’re trying to build a thriving, collaborative community and culture …

In fact, they say a lot of things except one: ‘when people leave, they will be cushioned by comments saying they ‘had a good run’.

So how do they get away with it?

Cash.

They pay significantly more than market rate and so there’s a steady stream of people who are willing to go work there either because they need a gig, they have fallen for the hype [and not checked it first] or they believe they can be the exception to the rule.

That’s not a judgement on the people, I get it … but it is a judgement on the org.

Especially as – in the big scheme of things – the money they pay comes at a huge cost.

The talent they’ve burned – and burned through – is extraordinary and yet no one, be it past of present employee, says a thing.

On first impression, it can feel like they’ve all agreed to collectively gaslight society, but on closer inspection you soon realise the real reason for that approach is far more due to fear than delusion.

Fear of losing your position.
Fear of never working again.
Fear of inviting more abuse.

One look at Corporate Gaslighting and you see this is not an uncommon – or unjustified – view. What’s even scarier is it is seemingly happening more and more … to the point where I swear some companies think ‘salary’ means they fully own their employees.

OK that’s a ridiculous view … a totally over-exaggerated and overblown view … an over-exaggerated and overblown view that is almost as ridiculous as:

Zero-hour contracts.
No overtime payments.
No training and development.
Expectation you are always ‘on-call’.
Personal social media monitoring.

Yes, I get those ‘work practices’ are still more the exception than the rule … but the fact they are there at all, is madness.

I get companies have to make money.
I get we live in a highly competitive world.
I even appreciate not every person is good for every company.

But come on …

What bothers me more is this is quickly becoming standard work practice.

STANDARD!

It’s like someone read a book on Victorian-era ‘workhouses’ and thought, “That sounds fun”.

And so, they’re trying to create a new set of beliefs for the ‘modern’ workplace.

Culture will not be born from the employees but dictated by the leadership.
Opinions can never be expressed; they must always be silenced.
Growth is not measured by personal development, but corporate conformity.
Success is not defined by personal achievement, but individual survival.
Failure is always – ALWAYS – to be aimed squarely at the shoulders of the employee.

[As an aside, if anyone is visiting Nottingham, they should check out the Workhouse in Southwell and go back to the future]

It’s like an episode of Black Mirror if Black Mirror was a documentary, not satire.

It’s here we’re taking a commercial break, because as much as this post has been about bullshit behavior – at least the people it’s about got paid well. But over the last 6 months, I’ve met many, young, lowly-paid, talented strategists be burned out by the expectations, pressure and demands of their employees.

As we highlighted in our 2024 book, Dream Bigger, too often people of my generation look at the young and say they don’t have the right work ethic … they expect too much … they are lacking in drive and skills … but apart from the fact that’s bullshit, even if it wasn’t, could you blame them given how they’ve seen so many of us invest so much in the promises of ‘hard work’ and then end up with nothing. And at least we had options available to us that could actually help. These poor fuckers don’t have any of that and yet we hold them to even higher expectations.

But that’s different to burnout because burnout is criminal. Actually criminal.

How are companies letting this happen? What are the fucking HR people doing?

What makes it even worse is the 5 people I met all worked at companies who talk big about ‘how their people are their greatest asset’. More like burning asset.

You want to know why we find it hard to attract the young to our industry? Because too many companies treat them like cannon fodder – and then when they’ve been battered, broken or bruised. we turn around and say ‘they couldn’t cut it’. Bastards.

Back in 2021, when we did Dream Small, we highlighted how this was a generation tolerated rather than welcomed. Then a few months later, I wrote how the ‘great resignation’ was actually – for many of the young – the ‘great reset’. But as much as they have pushed for change, this shit is still happening to so many – as demonstrated by the fact I’ve talked to 5 people in the past 6 months who could be great, but have literally been burned and no one seems to give a fuck.

All their bosses do is throw them some compliments or cash, believing it will ‘shut them up’ when what the person actually needs is to be thrown a fucking life raft of compassion, care and change. But what makes this even worse is that when the bosses discover the cash and compliments no longer have any sort of effect – when they have wrung the person out completely – they get rid of them while doing all they can to make sure the individual feels they have done something wrong to shame them for life and to keep them quiet.

It’s horrific and shows nothing has changed in the 4 years since I was featured in The Guardian about this corporate practice of employee shaming. Or the attempt of it.

What are we going to do when we have no one want to come to our industry?

We don’t pay many fairly.
We don’t train them well.
And then we work them to the point of exhaustion.
Seriously, in terms of analogy, there is no better one for this group than Workhouse attendees.

We can try and claim their attitude sucks all we like, but we’re the fuckers who need to take the long hard look in the mirror.

And with that, I end the commercial break and take us back to ‘regular programming’.

The reality is we’re getting to a point where there’s no bigger red flag about an organisation than when employees get congratulated by ‘the run they’ve had’.

Some may be well paid ‘middle management’.

Some may be poorly paid ‘young talent’.

But all of them are out-on-their-ear … surplus to requirements or drained of all life.

Which is why – and I appreciate the privilege I say this with – if you find yourself in a company like the one my mate has just ‘left’, then maybe the best thing you can do for your future health, well-being and career is to ‘run the fuck away from them’.

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When Was The Last Time You Felt Something For The First Time?

Recenty I met someone who had a profound affect on me.

I didn’t know them before we met.
I didn’t even know of them before we met.
But circumstances meant we met – via Zoom – and almost from the moment we talked, I felt a deep connection to them.

An immediate appreciation and understanding of who they were and what they were working towards … helped by their generosity of transparency and honesty.

Now we may like to think everyone we meet is like that, but we know that’s not really the case.

Even with people we know, we often express with a level of guardedness … but not with this individual. Oh no …

Within seconds all barricades were down and we had entered conversation of almost breath-taking honesty and detail.

At least that’s how I felt – hahaha.

Even looking back on it, I don’t know how – let alone why – this happened so quickly with them, but it did.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact the conversation had no agenda?

Maybe it had something to do with the fact we discovered we had some shared contexts?

Maybe it had something to do with both of us being genuinely curious and interested in how the other saw life?

Who knows, but after the call, I was left dealing with a whole range of emotions and feelings.

Confusion.
Exhilaration.
Contemplation.
Elation.

All topped off with a sense of disappointment it was over and a hunger to do it again.

Now, if truth be told, this not the first time something like this has happened …

Sure, the effect they had on me was unique to them, but I’ve definitely had similar experiences that have felt like a seminal moment.

Where I’ve met or talked to someone I would always remember.
Where there have been thoughts and questions raised that I’ll never forget.
Where they’ve felt like we’ve been connected for decades, when sometimes it’s been for less than a day.

Overall, a sense of overwhelming gratitude and amazement of encountering someone who was willing to throw all of who they were into the moment we were interacting.

Call me cynical, but for me, the only people who can do this are either those with supreme confidence, psychopathic tendencies or a comfort in their own vulnerabilities.

And while this person had some traits of the former, they definitely didn’t show any of delusional – something I’m pretty attuned to – which means their openness was born through their acceptance and awareness of their truth, while also feeling they were in a safe environment – and with a safe person – to express themselves without caution or limits.

As compliments go, that is maybe one of the most beautiful anyone can ever receive.

But what makes this even more special is that when this happens, it has the same effect on the other party. And it did … because I found myself being able to express myself in a way that ensured our conversation transcended transactional and became deeply personal.

Or said another way, it was one of those increasingly rare conversations that felt like a gift … a gift wrapped in our focus, curiosity, authenticity and deep compassion.

No judgement.
No expectation.
No agenda.

It was an experience that reaffirmed how lucky I am.

That aged 55, I still get to engage and encounter the new and interesting.

People who are willing to place and share new ideas, new considerations and new perspectives in my life.

Ideas that can trigger, remind or challenge the various beliefs I’ve held on to for – sometimes – all of my life.

Not because of arrogance, but because they are kind and willing to be vulnerable for you.

How incredibly wonderful.

Of course I shouldn’t be so shocked I still get to have this, given how my parents were …

My Dad with his incredible capacity to talk and connect to anyone …

I’ve mentioned how, when I was a teen, Dad would a bring a homeless person to our house – promising them a bath, a feed and a good night sleep in a warm bed – if they promised to talk to me about their life because he wanted to ensure I respected everyone has a story and that life is as much about good fortune as it is effort.

I must admit I hated it at the time, but now I’m older, I’m in awe.

And then there was Mum, the most compassionate and considerate person I have ever met.

Always interested in what others were interested in – regardless of age or background – as she saw them as a way to learn more about life. To get a bigger perspective of the world, which in turn, would allow her to contribute to more in her world.

And while I’m not as good as my Mum or Dad, I am a product of them … so accept I have gained some of their incredible abilities.

I certainly enjoy talking to people.
I definitely love understanding what people care about.
I deeply value learning the perspectives of those who are unlike me.

But while this person answered all of these elements, they were more than that.

Because not only did they let me see more of who they were, they helped me see more of who I was, too.

Stuff I may have not paid much attention to, or thought about or even locked away because of what it signified or triggered.

And while I may never speak to them again – let alone be in a situation where I will be in the same room as them – I will forever be grateful to them.

Because they served as a great reminder that the richness of life is not simply about what you do in it, but what you allow it to bring to you.

And they gave me a lot. Including a fuckload of questions I’m asking myself … hahaha.

At a time where we’re increasingly sitting behind desks and studying humanity through datapoints, let this be an advertisement for human interaction.

Because not only do they reveal the nuances data rarely see, they trigger the emotions, data will never be able to feel, let alone express.

John le Carre once stated, ‘a desk is a dangerous place to view the World’.

He could well have added,

‘Humans let you see the world, but certain individuals will take you to the most exciting corners of the universe’.

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Not Back, Back …

So I was supposed to be back from my trip to Melbourne.

But I’m not.

Because this trip can best be described as a shit show.

It started on the flight over where we had some bad turbulence and then the people next to – and behind – me started vomiting like human fountains.

Then when I went through immigration, I was stopped as they said I didn’t have a visa to enter the country. This, despite the fact I own property here, pay tax here, my wife is Australian, my son has an Australian passport and – oh yes – I have been a permanent resident of Australia for 20+ years.

After they realised they’d made a mistake on their computer, I was allowed to go and met up with my colleagues who were wondering where the fuck I was.

Surely that was the end of the drama?

Well yes … until at 2am, where I woke up in utter agony.

The only way I can describe the level of pain I was in is that I chose to go to hospital.

No making excuses. Or popping some paracetamol and going back to sleep.

I got in a taxi and went straight to A&E.

And thank god I did as I had picked up a bad infection in my kidney’s and appendix.

Apparently it had been developing for weeks – and when I look back on some days over the previous fortnight, I realised I’d done the classic excuses and popping paracetamol – but the time had come for it to make its presence known, and boy did it do that.

To be honest, as bad as I felt, I felt even worse that I had just burdened my colleagues with my work. They already had enough to do and here I was, at the last minute, giving them more.

And they not only took it on and executed it better than I … they stayed concerned about me.

That’s proper colleagues.

Mates even.

And I’m so grateful to them, the clients – who also were worried about me – and the amazing Doctors and Nurses at St Vincent’s Hospital in Melbourne who were compassionate, concerned and efficient.

I’m on the mend and allowed to fly home today, but till then, I’m going to chill and remind myself that your body wants you to be well, so when it hurts or gurgles or aches … it’s trying to make you deal with it before it ends up seeing you in a foreign hospital desperate for help.

So while this trip was a shitshow, it was a shitshow that shined a light on all the good.

Fight for your health service. It’s a gift.

See you Monday.

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