The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Give New A Chance To Surprise You …

One of the things I find hilarious about a lot of strategists, agencies and companies is how they talk about their openness towards innovation, but do all they can to maintain the status quo.

Oh, they’ll claim they give things a chance, it’s just their version of doing that is to immediately compare/judge any new approach against ways of working that have literally had decades to evolve and iron out any quirks … and so, generally, it is always going to end up being the unfairest of unfair fights.

However sometimes dismissal is not even about a lack of effectiveness.

Many times, it’s driven more by personal ego … where rejection occurs because a particular individual fears that any new methodology may result in them losing power and control and because of that, they’re openly hostile [and subjective] to anything being presented for consideration.

So what happens is the industry invents terminology that allows them to feel they’re being innovative but actually it’s all about conformity.

It’s why we hear the word ‘transformation’ banded about so much.

Oh when you hear that you think of acceleration … revolution … category redefinition … but what does it tend to really mean?

That’s right … it’s companies who have been left behind by years of ignorance/arrogance/complacently who finally realise they need to get their shit together so spend a fuckton of cash simply to be where everyone else has already been. The irony with this approach is that despite making such a big deal of their ‘transformation’, they still end up behind their competition because while they’ve been trying to play catch up, everyone else has been moving forward. Again.

But just as much as fearing innovation is harmful to your growth and potential, so is blindly accepting whatever new thing is available to you.

Far too often we’ve seen some companies embrace the new, shiny thing for the simple reason they want to be associated with the new, shiny thing.

Worse, they embrace it and then talk about it like it’s the finished article only to quietly move things aside when [1] they realise it may be shiny, but it’s not worthy or [2] there’s a newer, shinier thing that they need to be seen aligning themselves with.

Sadly adland is one of the worst at this. But so are the tech industries. And basically everyone on Linkedin, hahaha.

New is wonderful. It needs embracing, celebrating and championing. But most of all it needs patience and objectivity.

Patience for the idea to evolve, develop and see where it can go or goes.
Objectivity for you to be able to assess without bias, whether you’re dealing with hype or hope … allowing you the clarity to know if you have to protect it or kill it.

The last thing to remember is that sometimes, the thing an idea needs to work is ‘good timing’.

When I was younger, I never believed it when people [read: girlfriends, haha] said it was ‘bad timing’.

I thought it was just their way of getting out of seeing me.

And maybe it was … however as I got older, I’ve realized timing is a thing. Often an intangible, unexplainable, unmovable thing.

It may be driven by coincidence. It may be driven by circumstance. It may be driven by attitudinal shifts. But there are countless examples of ideas that were made or died because of timing, regardless of who was behind it, how much they spent on it or their history in doing it.

One of my favorite examples is the Toyota Prius.

The general view is Toyota launched the car in response to societies increased awareness of the car being a threat to the environment.

It may be true, after all the concept of the electric car had been around well before Toyota launched the Prius, albeit with continual failure.

[As an aside, there’s a documentary entitled ‘Who Killed The Electric Car’ that is well worth a watch]

However, I was told the development of the Prius had nothing to do with environmental concerns and was a byproduct of Toyota experimenting with their engineering capabilities. By pure chance, they developed a viable electric car at a time where society was changing/evolving … both in terms of environmental awareness but also economic situation. In essence, Prius was a happy accident of timing rather than forward planning.

As with most things, history has a million different authors … but given the Prius was so far ahead of other car manufacturers – and very different to Toyota’s traditional approach to car manufacturing – it feels there may be legitimacy as to how and why it succeeded and it had very little to do with being culturally aware.

Whatever the answer, the issue of ‘new’ is a complex one.

Too many people dismiss it.
Too many people fawn over it.

All I know is we should value it and respect it.

That doesn’t mean you can’t challenge or question, but in a world where everyone wants to give their hot take in the blink-of-an-eye, the smart people give ‘new’ the time to surprise and evolve as well as remember that on the occasions something doesn’t work out, they acknowledge it may not be the idea, but the times.

And times are always changing.

Just ask the horse. Or Ed Klein.

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The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …

Over the years, I’ve written a lot about collabs.

The good.
The bad.
The ridiculous.

But recently there has been one that has somehow achieved all three. AT ONCE.

That’s right, the glorious, overpowering flavor of Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Heinz mayo.

It’s the combination no one asked for … no one expected and no one imagined could work.

And it doesn’t, and yet it does.

It’s possible the unhealthiest and most unpleasant thing you could ever put in your mouth and yet – if you’re like me – and love Monster Munch, it’s something you could not possibly resist from trying.

Hell, when we moved to London back in 2018, it was literally the first ‘British’ food item I got Otis to try – literally the morning after we arrived – and the fact he liked them [at least he did, then] made me burst with so much pride, I could overlook his development of an American accent. Just. Check it out below..

But here’s the thing, similar to when the Absolut Disco Ball packaging made me buy alcohol, despite having not drunk anything since I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, this collab made me go to absolute lengths to get it into my hands.

You see you couldn’t buy it in NZ so I had to adopt different means.

I wrote to Heinz.
I joined their ‘fan club/DTC’ service.
I explored supermarkets in both America and Australia.
I contacted courier services about getting it and delivering it to me.

In the end, a plea on social media was answered by the incredible thoughtful Jestyn on Twitter/X … who not only got it for me, but sent it to me as well.

And while I would not get it again … the fact is I was not only more excited about it than 99% of brands out there, but I went to greater lengths to get my hands on it than I would for 99% of brands despite the fact I knew it was overtly bad for you and I’m Mr Healthy these days so I was perfectly aware that I’d only ever taste it once.

While there are many possible lessons we could learn from the creation of this, albeit, novelty product – be if fandom, communities or unexpected relevance – the real lesson is to follow, and then protect, the excitement.

The stuff that captures the imagination.
The stuff that changes the conversation.
The stuff that keeps people on their toes.
The stuff everyone keeps referring back to, even when logic tells them not to.

Because as Paula, Martin and I explained at our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk at Cannes back in 2023 … the greatest strategy doesn’t start from a place of logic, it finds the point of most excitement and works back from there.

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Luxury Threads Made By Potatoes …

When I think of the ads I saw when I was growing up, there are so many for categories I just don’t see – or don’t see much – any more.

Cream Cakes.
Carpet Stores.
Digital Watches.
Stranger Danger Campaigns.

Maybe they’re still happening and I don’t know it because I don’t watch much TV … but given I work in the industry and I don’t hear about them – let alone see them – it does feel they are campaigns of a bygone age.

But of all these category of ads, one that is burned into my mind is Smash.

Smash was a mashed potato brand.

It came in a packet and by adding boiling water and stiring vigourously, you’d get masses of creamy mash.

The original ‘fast food’.

This approach to food prep was space-age technology back in the day … which is why the ads featured alien robots who were so impressed with the technological advancement that Smash represented, they chose not to invade Earth because they felt they couldn’t compete with our innovation, despite the fact the humans they had been secretly watching were – to put it lightly – thick as shit, given their traditional choice for mashing spuds.

I know. I know … sounds bonkers doesn’t it, so have a look at this early ad to see what I mean:

OK, so it was bonkers.

But as you can tell, it was all most definitely tongue in cheek, however – as demonstrated by the fact I am writing about them decades later – the alien robots soon became iconic in British society.

Still are in fact. At least for people of a certain age.

But despite this – and despite being 54 years of age – I’ve never eaten Smash.

Not knowingly, at least.

Not because I don’t like it or don’t like the idea of it … but because my parents never allowed it in the house.

Just to be clear, it wasn’t because they were against such manufactured ‘convenience’ food – we used to eat Angel Delight for fucks sake – but because compared to boiling some spuds and mashing them, it was too expensive.

I say all this because recently I walked past a Prada store and saw this.

Now I am sure they didn’t intend to create the ‘luxury version’ of the Smash alien robots, but they’ve created the luxury version of the Smash alien robots!!!

And while this decision could open a lot of conversations about a lot of different subjects – from the changing definition of luxury, the influence of nostalgia, generational creativity and the overall decline in the quest for originality – the biggest thing it did for me was prove my parents were right in believing SMASH is an expensive indulgence for people who want to short-cut their way to satisfaction rather than earning it.

Or something like that. Probably without the judgement on the character, motivations and aspirations of those who would bung it on their evening meal plate.

Still would give my left arm to eat some.

Which is why Prada would probably be disappointed to learn that their ‘robots’ have made hungrier to eat SMASH mashed potato than to buy and wear their clothes. Or worse … anyone seen wearing a Prada coat can be called a ‘Jacket Potato’.

In terms of branding disasters, that has to be up there with these classic [bull]shitshows.


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Who We Are Is Not Who We Were …

A few weeks ago, I found myself wandering around Marina Del Ray, in LA.

It’s an area I know well given I both worked and lived relatively near the place a few years ago.

Anyway, as I was strolling around, I was looking at the boats moored along the marina. Be under no illusion, you need a bunch of cash to own a boat in LA and even more to be able to afford to keep it in a shared dock – but that’s the thing about Los Angeles, it’s a place of financial extremes.

There were all manner of boats in all manner of shapes and sizes … but the thing that grabbed my attention was their choice of names.

I love hearing what people call things.

Years ago, with cynic, we did a project with a video rental company [told you it was years ago] which included us exploring the ‘passwords’ people had on their account.

We didn’t know whose account it was – or the details of the recipient – it was just a list of random passwords. Anyway, it was pretty fascinating.

No random letters or numbers.

In fact, nothing approaching any level of security protocol whatsoever.

Instead, it seemed to be words that reflected a family ‘trait’, an individual’s alter-ego or something mischievous that the creator forgot would have to be said out loud to the store assistant every time they rented a film.

I say this because as I looked at the boats, there seemed to be a similar approach to its naming protocol.

Of course a boat name is very different to a password, but for all the choices you have, many seemed to fall into certain groups.

+ Reference to life on ‘the high seas’.
+ An individual persons name.
+ A sea-reference pun.
+ Or a mark of achievement …

… of which, none was better than this.

For those who can’t read it properly, it’s called, ‘Dream Worked’.

I have to say, I bloody love it.

Of all the names I saw, this was arguably the most honest.

A statement that whether through hard work, luck or other means … their ambition to own a boat in LA had come off.

They’d done it.

Hit the goal.

I wanted to meet the owner. To hear their story. To understand their journey.

Was the boat the prize or a byproduct of it?

Maybe my interest in the boat was because we all like a good news story. Or because I like learning how – and why – people do stuff. Or maybe it’s simply because I’m approaching that point in life where you’re running out of time for dreams to work and so you’re questioning what you’ve done or still want to do.

This is not in any way trying to say I’ve suffered.

If I’m being honest, the life I live is beyond anything I could ever have imagined or hoped for. Probably more than my teachers imagined for me too.

But despite being 54, I still have a lot of ambitions.

Things I want to do.
Things I want to try.
Things I want to see.
Things I want to achieve.

However – as I’ve mentioned many times – the older you get, the more you realise not only will you not be able to do all of them, you won’t even be able to pursue all of them. You have to be more focused with your energy and time. You need to prioritize rather than chase down every rabbit hole.

Frankly, that part of growing older is shit especially as I’m someone whose entire bloody life has been chasing the intrigue, the possibility and the creative opportunity. But whether I like it or not, I’m slowly learning how important it is to be more measured in my choices if I want to keep moving forward rather than standing still.

Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working at a different pace than before.
Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working from a different place than before.
But it means I don’t have to accept what others expect me to do and frankly, that’s all the motivation I need.

However despite all this, growing older in your career does ask questions of you.

Uncomfortable questions.

You realise your relevance in the industry you work in is reducing.

Your abilities haven’t – quite the opposite – but their desire to hear or work with it has.

And it can feel like you’re being left behind when you’ve got so much still to give.

Like you’re screaming in a vacuum that no one gives a shit about, hahaha.

A while back I saw a quote from an ex-footballer than summed this up perfectly …

I get it. We all will at some point …

It really forces you to question who you are and what you’ve done.

And how you deal with it defines where you can go with it.

So while it was more luck than judgement, I consider myself very fucking lucky that I fell into a new chapter of my life … where I have got to learn, express and discover how my creativity can be used in new ways with incredibly talented new people … the best and most successful of the best and most successful … who, despite all they’ve achieved, value what you do and bring far more than who you are and what you have.

I’m under no illusion it could all end tomorrow, but it’s going great right now and the stuff I’m getting to do and be a part of is not just creatively exciting, it’s allowing my creative ambitions to flex and be pushed.

To be able to do that at any age is awesome, but to do it at 54 – alongside rockstars, fashion gods and creative legends – is fucking incredible.

Which is why I realized – as I walked around those boats in Marina Del Ray – that if I had a boat, I wouldn’t call it ‘Dream Worked’ … it would be ‘The Dreams Working’ … because to be at this point of life and still be able to look forward and see exciting possibilities rather than just look back at what you’ve done, feels like the greatest achievement of all.

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As an aside, today is the 3rd annual ‘Fuck Off And Pie’ Colenso Planner Bake-Off competition.

A time where, contrary to this post, I am reminded I’m the biggest failure of all time.

Or should I say the ‘silver medal’ biggest failure.

I’ll let you know if I maintain this standard or – god forbid – achieve gold loser status.

Given this years theme is ‘birthday cake’ I’m in with a shot and to be honest I like what I’ve done.

Not just in the fact it tastes pretty good – no, seriously – but because I’ve created a design and theme that will never be forgotten. Especially by our HR department. And probably by my colleagues and team mates who run the risk of spending Christmas with gastro. The gift that keeps on giving. Cue: Evil laugh.

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Nothing Proves Like Inconvenience …

I’ve written a lot about the bullshit of brand purpose.

Or should I say the hijacking of purpose by marketing departments and agencies.

Far too often, we see companies where their ‘purpose’ has no day-to-day impact on the operations or decisions they make beyond pushing their marketing messages and promotions. For these orgs, purpose is positioned simply as ‘something we hope might change’ rather than actively doing stuff that actively pushes it.

As they say in the UK, “the truth of the pudding is in the eating”, and a lot of corporate brand purpose tastes like bullshit.

That doesn’t mean the concept of purpose is entirely wrong.

Oh no.

However the reality is true brand purpose is born rather than manufactured – especially by a marketing department – so for every Patagonia, there’s a Unilever … which is why I find the easiest way to see who is talking truth versus shite is simply by exploring how much inconvenience they’ll accept and embrace.

Recently I saw an interesting example of a brand who not just embraced inconvenience, but demanded it.

An example which I imagine caused all manner of friction and tension throughout the company.

And yet, when you think about who the company were and – more importantly – who they wanted to become, you see it as absolute commitment to their beliefs and ambitions.

Take a look at this …

Now I appreciate some would read that and only see the problems … the costs … the disruptions … the impact on productivity … the C-Suite ‘bullying’. But they’re probably the same people who think purpose is about ‘wrapping paper’ rather than beliefs and actions … which is why I kinda-love this.

I love how much they were pushing it and how they pushed it.

It was important to them.

Not for virtue signaling, not for corporate complicity – though I accept there’s a bit of that – but mainly because a company can’t talk about technology, creativity and the future while asking your very own colleagues to embrace the cheap, the convenient and the conformist.

Just to be clear, this is VERY different to companies who mandate processes.

That’s about control and adherence.

A desire to keep things as they are rather than what they could be.

And to me, that’s the difference between those who ‘talk’ purpose and those whose actions are a byproduct of it.

Every day in every way.

Because as the old trope goes, it’s only a principal if it costs you something and the reality is – like strategy – too many talk a good game but will flip the moment they think they could make/save a bit more cash.

Apple may have a lot of problems, but fundamentally, they mean what they say and show it in their actions – both in the spotlight, but also in the shadows … where very few people will ever see – as exemplified by Jobs famous ‘paint behind the fence‘ quote.

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