The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Integrity Is About Actions, Not Words …

First of all a huge thanks to all the people who got in touch about my good eye news yesterday. Given how much your support through the challenge of last year meant to me, you just added the icing on the top.

So back to the post …

A while back, the great playwright, Tom Stoppard, died.

His death affected me because he was someone my family didn’t just respect highly, but knew well.

Especially my Auntie Silvana, who first met him when they worked at the iconic Aldwych theatre, London.

If truth be told, I’d not thought about Tom for years but on hearing he had died, I realized the people in my life who would be the most upset at this news – namely my Mum, Dad and Aunt – had all gone, and somehow that made the news the more potent.

Unsurprisingly, news of Tom’s passing led to many stories about him being told in the international media.

Stories about his talent.
Stories about his stories.
And stories about his integrity.

The word integrity is one that is often overused and incorrectly used.

Too often used to justify a one-off decision and/or a small act of consciousness within a big pattern of complicit acts.

But Tom wasn’t like that.

Even those who would label his decisions as ‘stubborn’ would grudgingly acknowledge – and respect – he was simply being Tom. Doing what he said he would do, regardless of opportunity, pressure, money or fame.

At a time where people and companies will seemingly destroy any relationship, promise or agreement for the ability to squeeze out $1 more than they had before … it’s beautiful Stoppard would never entertain doing such a thing.

Nothing sums this up more than this story of when Spielberg wanted him to write the screenplay for Jaws …

Isn’t that amazing?

It was also smart … because not only did it make Spielberg want to work with him even more, it had the same effect with the people at the BBC.

As I wrote a while back, our industry loves to talk about integrity and relationships but rarely seems to understand what those words actually mean, let alone how deeply entwined and interconnected they are.

As I wrote a while back about a private client of mine – the biggest street fashion investor and most profitable retailer on the planet – powerful, valuable and sustainable relationships aren’t built on convenience, but on inconvenience … and how your actions, honesty, transparency and focus continually demonstrate how you never lose sight of what you’re building together, how you want to build it and what each other is able to do because of it.

Also known as integrity.

Thank you Tom. We need more people like you … or at least acting like you.

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We Are All Complicit To All We’re Complaining About …

OK, I’ve given you a couple of days of niceish posts to help ease you into the new year, so I think it’s time I write some stuff that lets out some of my seemingly endless frustrations – ha.

As we all know, there’s a ton of talk about the longevity of the industry with things like corporate consolidation, AI and processes and systems.

I get that and there should be that … but what bothers me is a lot of the conversations are not focused on what got us here.

Because for all the talk about the obsession with efficiency and the ‘illusion’ of effectiveness, what is rarely discussed is the lack of investment in training.

Don’t get me wrong,’outsourced, for profit’ training programs have their role and value in developing skills – even if many have been devised by people who have often never even worked directly in the industry, let alone made anything of note within it – but so much of this is about creating industry conformity, rather than creation.

Worse, it’s industry conformity often based on an individuals definition of what good work is … which is ALWAYS self-serving for them.

And while – as I said – it still offers some sort of value, it also actively devalues individual talent, potential, craft and creativity.

Or said another way, it allows all the things we are spending so much energy complaining about – to thrive.

Add to that too many people only wanting to develop in a bid to get more money – rather than more ability – and you can see how we got where we’re sitting.

But what bothers me most is how some companies are reacting and responding to this shift.

I don’t mean agencies – who, in the main, are not exactly shining with their ‘strategies’ – but companies.

Because for all the demands they have in terms of expectations and standards, they end up showing nothing really matters as much as cost and time.

Part of this is because – sadly – many companies don’t know the difference between quality and quantity.

Part of this is because – even more sadly – there is a lack of training in their organizations as well, so they’re only empowered to say ‘no’, rather than ‘yes’.

Part of this is – possibly most tragic of all – is that many companies have put themselves in a position where they have allowed procurement to be the ultimate decision maker – despite the fact the only thing most know about other industries is how to ‘compare prices’.

Case in point …

Recently I spoke to a strategist who is not just incredibly experienced, but is pretty incredible.

By that I mean the work they’ve done and the impact they have enabled.

And yet, despite all this, they’re finding it hard to find work … exemplified by recently losing out on a project where – objectively – they would be one of the most qualified people in the entire industry to do this job.

They didn’t lose out because they weren’t known.
They didn’t lose out because they weren’t available.
They lost out because the company thought they could ‘hack the system’ by hiring someone who had worked at the same company as the strategist in question, who was asking for a much lower fee.

Now I get – on face value – that sounds a smart move.

Except that was the only requirement for hiring this person.

They ignored the fact these strategists didn’t work in the same office.
They ignored the fact these strategists didn’t work on the same clients or category.
They ignored the fact they never worked or interacted together.
They ignored the fact one strategist has led work, the other has just supported it.
They ignored the fact one strategist has 16 years of experience, the other has under 5.
They ignored the fact one strategist is at a ‘head of planning’ level, the other is ‘strategist’.

I should point out this does not mean the strategist they chose isn’t good – I know who they are and they have some interesting perspectives – but their experience, context, exposure to senior leaders and overall ability is miles off what the other strategist in question has to offer. There is literally no comparison.

Now this is not their fault … with time, I imagine their abilities [like all of us] will increase dramatically, or it will if they are exposed to people who are willing to develop them, rather than expect them to just execute which sadly – even if they had a full-time job – is increasingly seen as a ‘cost’ rather than an investment … but while I have no desire to deny anyone the ability to make a living [especially young talent who have been forced out of jobs because of costs, workload or mental health] everyone is going to lose here.

Everyone.

The ultra-qualified strategist has to look for another job.
The strategist who has been hired is going to only execute based on their frame-of-reference and standards which, as I pointed out, is not what a job of this magnitude requires. And that’s before we even consider how much this job could hold back their development because they’re not being paid to learn, they’re being paid to do.
The company ends up having a solution that doesn’t liberate the opportunity they have … or the issues they need to contend with.

Of course, where you work has a huge impact on how you grow … and the place both these strategists worked, is excellent.

But there’s a massive difference between being there a few years and many years – not just in terms of the work you do, but the challenges and growth you are exposed to – and so when companies choose to deliberately ignore this … be it for cost, convenience or control reasoning … not only are they undermining their own business, they’re undermining the potential of the person they hired and so we all end up contributing to the situation we’re complaining about while also being blinkered towards.

Train properly.
Pay properly.
Place value on experience, standards and craft.

If you don’t, the position of mayhem that we’re in now will be seen as one of the golden ages of where we’ll end up.

Happy New Year … hahaha.

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Some Years Make You, Some Years Break You … This Year Confused The Hell Out Of Me

So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:

1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]

2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.

That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.

The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.

Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.

But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.

And what high points they were …

Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.

Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.

I got some lovely new tattoos.

Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.

Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.

Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.

My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.

Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.

Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …

I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.

Now back to other stuff …

I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.

Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.

Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.

Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.

Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]

Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.

Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.

Talking of Colenso ….

We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.

In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]

As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.

Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.

Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!

How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.

And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.

I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.

Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.

He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.

Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.

And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.

It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.

Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.

Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.

So to my dear Otis …

Happy birthday my wonderful son.

I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.

I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.

Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.

Love you.

Rx

I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.

Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.

Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.

And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.

Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.

See you on the other side.

Rx

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Think Small To Feel Big …

This is the last week of blog posts for 2025.

I know … I know … it’s the Christmas gift you’ve all wanted.

And it gets better, because not only is this post relatively short, it’s also relatively harmless.

But like a scammer trying to lull someone into giving them their credit card number, I should warn you … the rest of the posts this week are long.

Like seriously long.

And while I am in no doubt you won’t read them, they’re actually quite good. Or at least one of them is … hahaha.

So with that warning now formally announced, I’ll leave you with a post about Amy and her ‘Fig’ delivery company … and what we can all learn from it.

I appreciate the last couple of posts have been a bit serious, so I thought I would tone it down a bit. Even though, underpinning it all … is a serious point.

If you look hard enough.

So recently, on a walk, I saw this …

Now, I get figs are delicious.
I get restaurants often need and use them.
But an ‘on-demand’ delivery service for them?

It may initially sound bonkers but I love it exists.

So many people only value ideas ‘with scale’ that they ignore the power of servicing niche.

Sure, it may not make them trillions but they know specifically who they are, what they do and who they are for which is more than many companies who spend tens of millions desperately trying to ‘be something for everybody’ and finding out they’re nothing for no one.

I suppose the point of this post is that while there are many definitions of success – scale is, contrary to what many say, only one of them. Which is why if you have an idea for a business … don’t evaluate it simply by ‘how big can it be’, but think in terms of how important it can be to someone and how happy it will make you.

There’s a lot of celebration for big talking, big names … but frankly, Amy at Figs Direct is more inspirational to me than most of them.

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A Decade Of Missed Birthdays …
November 3, 2025, 5:00 am
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Respect

Today would have been my Mum’s 93rd birthday.

The only thing more amazing than that is that it means she has been gone a decade.

The irony is that while Mum is always in my life, it’s the anniversaries – specifically birthdays and death – where her absence is more of the focus.

And what an absence it is.

I’ve talked a lot about her generosity, but what was so amazing about it was how she expressed it in a multitude of ways …

Time, patience, open-mindedness, forgiveness, resilience, encouragement … it was all on offer, all of the time.

She had the ability to acknowledge her perspective was always just that – hers – and so disengaging from that allowed her to listen, learn, understand and grow from people expressing their realities.

That didn’t mean she always agreed with what she heard, but she did always give the space, environment and conditions that allowed others to show, share and say what they felt and believed.

It was a superpower to be honest, and one – as I grow older – I feel is even more important than ever before.

She’d be aghast at where the world is right now.

Growing up in Italy during World War 2 – with her family as part of the resistence – her sense of righteousness was cemented early and deeply, but now …

Well, decency has gone out the window.

I don’t just mean in the obvious ways … but the small.

People not bothering to respond to you.
People always having self interest in every action and interaction.
People believing their needs and contexts trump everyone else’s.

But Mum was not like that. If anything, she was too much the other way.

Everyone liked and respected my Mum because she gave them 3 things regardless of situation, context of background.

Time.
Respect.
A desire to understand rather than judge.

This last point is especially important because, as I wrote in 2017, even the military and police have understood the power of nonjudgmental understanding as a potent interview technique.

The point is, we hear all these politicians, businesses, celebrities and Linkedin luminaries bang on about how they have the solution/system to sort everything out … and yet I’ve not heard one of them talk about the importance of time, respect and an environment for understanding rather than judgement.

Which is why I can’t help but feel, one of the key reasons we’re in the state we’re in is because of this decade of absence.

Mum, I love you.

Happy, happy 93rd birthday.

I hope you’re with Dad, holding hands and I hope you’ve never been missed so much and by so many as you are today.

Big kisses and hugs.

Rx

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