The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Run For Your Life, The 1800’s Are Coming …

This is a long post, because it has been written by a lot of rage. Mine.

So buckle up and read it, because while most of what I spout is utter shite. This is important.

Recently someone I know left the company they had been working at for a few years.

When they announced it on Linkedin, they were flooded with supportive, celebratory messages. As they should be.

But there was one other thing that was common among the comments, and that was people writing “what a good run you had”.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear that, it immediately conveys a company who has a reputation for letting people go … and so ‘what a good run’ really means is that you lasted longer than most. That your achievement was as much about staying in the role as it was about what you did in the role.

And to me, that all feels toxic as fuck.

Not by the people saying it.
Or the person it is being said to.
But the organisation who seemingly doesn’t give a fuck about letting people go.

Of course – like US politicians who ask for ‘thoughts and prayers’ after another mass shooting – their corporate mission statement only talks about their belief in their people …

How they’re trying to build a thriving, collaborative community and culture …

In fact, they say a lot of things except one: ‘when people leave, they will be cushioned by comments saying they ‘had a good run’.

So how do they get away with it?

Cash.

They pay significantly more than market rate and so there’s a steady stream of people who are willing to go work there either because they need a gig, they have fallen for the hype [and not checked it first] or they believe they can be the exception to the rule.

That’s not a judgement on the people, I get it … but it is a judgement on the org.

Especially as – in the big scheme of things – the money they pay comes at a huge cost.

The talent they’ve burned – and burned through – is extraordinary and yet no one, be it past of present employee, says a thing.

On first impression, it can feel like they’ve all agreed to collectively gaslight society, but on closer inspection you soon realise the real reason for that approach is far more due to fear than delusion.

Fear of losing your position.
Fear of never working again.
Fear of inviting more abuse.

One look at Corporate Gaslighting and you see this is not an uncommon – or unjustified – view. What’s even scarier is it is seemingly happening more and more … to the point where I swear some companies think ‘salary’ means they fully own their employees.

OK that’s a ridiculous view … a totally over-exaggerated and overblown view … an over-exaggerated and overblown view that is almost as ridiculous as:

Zero-hour contracts.
No overtime payments.
No training and development.
Expectation you are always ‘on-call’.
Personal social media monitoring.

Yes, I get those ‘work practices’ are still more the exception than the rule … but the fact they are there at all, is madness.

I get companies have to make money.
I get we live in a highly competitive world.
I even appreciate not every person is good for every company.

But come on …

What bothers me more is this is quickly becoming standard work practice.

STANDARD!

It’s like someone read a book on Victorian-era ‘workhouses’ and thought, “That sounds fun”.

And so, they’re trying to create a new set of beliefs for the ‘modern’ workplace.

Culture will not be born from the employees but dictated by the leadership.
Opinions can never be expressed; they must always be silenced.
Growth is not measured by personal development, but corporate conformity.
Success is not defined by personal achievement, but individual survival.
Failure is always – ALWAYS – to be aimed squarely at the shoulders of the employee.

[As an aside, if anyone is visiting Nottingham, they should check out the Workhouse in Southwell and go back to the future]

It’s like an episode of Black Mirror if Black Mirror was a documentary, not satire.

It’s here we’re taking a commercial break, because as much as this post has been about bullshit behavior – at least the people it’s about got paid well. But over the last 6 months, I’ve met many, young, lowly-paid, talented strategists be burned out by the expectations, pressure and demands of their employees.

As we highlighted in our 2024 book, Dream Bigger, too often people of my generation look at the young and say they don’t have the right work ethic … they expect too much … they are lacking in drive and skills … but apart from the fact that’s bullshit, even if it wasn’t, could you blame them given how they’ve seen so many of us invest so much in the promises of ‘hard work’ and then end up with nothing. And at least we had options available to us that could actually help. These poor fuckers don’t have any of that and yet we hold them to even higher expectations.

But that’s different to burnout because burnout is criminal. Actually criminal.

How are companies letting this happen? What are the fucking HR people doing?

What makes it even worse is the 5 people I met all worked at companies who talk big about ‘how their people are their greatest asset’. More like burning asset.

You want to know why we find it hard to attract the young to our industry? Because too many companies treat them like cannon fodder – and then when they’ve been battered, broken or bruised. we turn around and say ‘they couldn’t cut it’. Bastards.

Back in 2021, when we did Dream Small, we highlighted how this was a generation tolerated rather than welcomed. Then a few months later, I wrote how the ‘great resignation’ was actually – for many of the young – the ‘great reset’. But as much as they have pushed for change, this shit is still happening to so many – as demonstrated by the fact I’ve talked to 5 people in the past 6 months who could be great, but have literally been burned and no one seems to give a fuck.

All their bosses do is throw them some compliments or cash, believing it will ‘shut them up’ when what the person actually needs is to be thrown a fucking life raft of compassion, care and change. But what makes this even worse is that when the bosses discover the cash and compliments no longer have any sort of effect – when they have wrung the person out completely – they get rid of them while doing all they can to make sure the individual feels they have done something wrong to shame them for life and to keep them quiet.

It’s horrific and shows nothing has changed in the 4 years since I was featured in The Guardian about this corporate practice of employee shaming. Or the attempt of it.

What are we going to do when we have no one want to come to our industry?

We don’t pay many fairly.
We don’t train them well.
And then we work them to the point of exhaustion.
Seriously, in terms of analogy, there is no better one for this group than Workhouse attendees.

We can try and claim their attitude sucks all we like, but we’re the fuckers who need to take the long hard look in the mirror.

And with that, I end the commercial break and take us back to ‘regular programming’.

The reality is we’re getting to a point where there’s no bigger red flag about an organisation than when employees get congratulated by ‘the run they’ve had’.

Some may be well paid ‘middle management’.

Some may be poorly paid ‘young talent’.

But all of them are out-on-their-ear … surplus to requirements or drained of all life.

Which is why – and I appreciate the privilege I say this with – if you find yourself in a company like the one my mate has just ‘left’, then maybe the best thing you can do for your future health, well-being and career is to ‘run the fuck away from them’.

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What Business Can Learn From A Green House About Building Better Relationships …

Following on from yesterday’s post, this is about the value of transparency.

Years ago, I wrote a post about a [then] new Police interrogation technique, which basically centered around empathetic transparency.

In essence, rather than use traditional tactics such as intimidation or ‘half-truths’ to obtain the information they wanted, they found transparency – without judgment – achieved much more positive results.

So, for example if someone asked if their actions were going to result in jail time, rather than give them the impression they will be OK if they hand over the information they want, they simply respond with the following:

“It is highly likely you will, but I will ensure the authorities are made aware of how you have helped us in this investigation”.

And then they actually ensure the authorities are made aware of how that person has helped in the investigation.

OK, it’s obviously more nuanced and complex than that … but the heart of this approach is the acknowledgement that people react more positively to truth than harmony.

And yet, despite this, harmony prevails in our lives.

+ We’ll keep your resume on file.
+ We’ll work with you in the future.
+ We like being pushed and challenged.
+ We will issue the payment this week.
+ We will introduce you to other companies.

There’s so many of these ‘daily’ statements of harmony going on in every office and company around the World … and while most are doing it because they want to avoid disappointing or hurting the other party, the problem is when it’s not true, it ends up creating bigger issues because people find out and then resentment cultivates and trust gets destroyed.

It’s why one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned came from the wonderful LTA of Wieden+Kennedy.

He said, “transparency is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give a client”.

That doesn’t mean you are a rude or selfish prick.

Nor does it mean you can act like a sledgehammer.

But it does mean you respect the other person enough to tell them the realities of the situation rather than the fantasy of it.

Not because you want to upset them or hurt them, but because you want to empower them …

To know where they stand.
To enable them to choose what to do next.
To own their situation rather than be owned by it.

And while you may all think this is just basic common-sense, in this age of toxic positivity it’s a pretty radical approach to commercial relationships.

But then, a lot of what we call relationships, aren’t these days are they?

More marriages of financial or outsourcing convenience.

Which may explain – as I wrote a few months ago – why one of my clients is so successful.

Because while relationships are at the heart of his business, not only does he understand they need to be mutually beneficial to encourage longevity, they need to be more than just convenience to be worthy of that label.

Put simply, relationships are built, not bought.

And the foundations of the best ones are always truth over harmony.

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Can We Stop Calling A Spade A F#@$ing Shovel Or A Horticultural Excavation Implement …

This is a post about naming strategies.

Yes, I know I’ve talked about this before.

A lot of times before.

The processes.
The considerations.
The complications.

… but mainly it’s been about how certain branding consultancies charge an absolute fortune to come up with some utter nonsensical bullshit that they back up with 1000’s of pages of self-serving pseudo-science bullshit and still end up creating something pants. Kind of like the explanation of the Pepsi rebrand from 15 years ago. Or most Linkedin ‘guru’ pontification.

But the other side of this is when people choose to put no effort in whatsoever.

Hiding their recommendation behind terms such as ‘colloquial context’ or ‘cultural vernacular’.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times where a stripped back approach can be powerful.

A way to connect to society by taking their cultural references and contexts head-on.

Hell, cynic used to embrace an approach that we literally called, ‘unplanned‘.

However, while this was about removing any element of pomposity, it still had to elevate how people saw or connected to what we did. Any fool can churn out lowest common denominator stuff … but it takes a certain amount of skill and flair to develop something that not only connects and engages the masses, but does it in a way where the value of the product/brand is increased and improved to all.

We used to call this ‘massperation’ … which still makes me feel sick even today, hahahaha.

I say all this to justify something I saw recently.

Or should I say something Otis saw recently.

You see down the road from us there’s a house being built.

It’s in full-on construction mode and as it is on the way to Otis’ school, he passes it every day.

Anyway, one day he came and told me he’d seen the building site loo and was shocked with its name.

It was this:

That’s right, it’s called the ‘Shitbox’.

To be honest, I’m not sure if Otis should have been more surprised at the name or the fact it proudly states it’s a ‘high viz’ toilet box.

HIGH FUCKING VIZ!

Is the toilet going to be walking along the street late at night? Do builders have such bad eyesight they can’t find a 6 foot high toilet without it being painted bright orange? Are construction workers such bad drivers they need to be warned of where the portaloos are so as not to hit them?

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Anyway, I digress.

The point is that while calling the portaloo a ‘shitbox’ may make sense … I can’t help but feel it is also playing into the builder cliche. Sure, cliches happen because they represent a common behavior or attitude that is played out over a sustained period of time … but often this is only a ‘perceived’ behavior or attitude [usually promoted by an individual or organisation who have found a way to monetise the acceptance of this view] that victimizes anyone who does not live upto the cliche.

I appreciate you may think I’ve gone full-on woke … but apart from the fact I don’t think considering others is a bad thing, I see this behaviour over and over again.

Hell, even Jaguar – with their ‘interesting’ rebrand did it by revealing their new concept cars in pink and blue.

PINK AND FUCKING BLUE.

They made such a big deal about how they ‘delete ordinary’, ‘break moulds’ and ‘copy nothing’ and then they actively, loudly and proudly reinforce the most basic of gender stereotypes. On the World fucking stage!

I totally appreciate you can go over-the-top with this stuff – especially given this whole post was inspired by a building site portaloo. I also get people may think I am suggesting we should name products/brands with words that offer no defining characteristic to avoid any potential stereotype. But neither of those are what I’m trying to say.

All I am attempting to point out is that words matter. And while I fully appreciate naming is a difficult task, I find it fascinating companies spend millions on ‘solutions’ that tend to fall into either pompous, basic or made-up.

Or said another way, names that define, limit or pander rather than celebrate those who use them and the reasons they do.

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Forget Emperors New Clothes, It’s The Egg Salad Salesmen You Have To Worry About …

As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.

So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.

How awesome is it?

I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.

The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.

You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.

Of technological advancement.

Of commercial optimisation.

A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.

Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.

Except it wasn’t was it?

Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.

Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.

Not even in Japan.

And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.

Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.

Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?

Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.

An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.

Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.

Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.

Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.

Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]

Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.

Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.

However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.

I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.

We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.

Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.

Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.

Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.

The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.

Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.

Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.

Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.

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The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same …

Years ago, when we had cynic, George did some research on car ownership in the UK.

It focused on how drivers – specifically, British male drivers – saw car heirarchy and how they reacted and responded to it in their daily lives.

I remember us presenting it to clients who were shocked by the spoken and unspoken rules and cues of the road.

I say this for 2 reasons.

1. I recently saw an old BBC program that perfectly encapsulates George’s findings.

2. It’s near the end of the year and I’m running out of things to write about.

[Don’t get too excited, it’s only temporary, and it’s not like it impacts quality, ha]

Ignoring point 2 for a moment, the documentary was fascinating.

An insight into the mind and behaviours of middle England.

The role of the class system.
The quest for materialism.
The importance of status.

And while the way they demonstrate this is equal parts sad, curious, petty and hilarious … it’s all underpinned by a level of transparency, honesty and self-awareness that you can’t help admire and kinda-relate to.

The need to be seen … to be respected … to progress … while all the time, being deeply aware of ‘your place’ in societies pecking order, including knowing how to deal with the expectations of behaviour placed upon you because of it.

While those not from the UK may read this and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, I can assure you, it was not just very real, it was a source of huge personal anxiety, vulnerability and pressure.

Now I don’t know if this ‘company car driver attitude’ remains.

And I don’t know if the ‘company car driver’ attitude was more prevelent in the UK.

Plus I’m not even sure if company car ‘ownership’ is as big in the UK as it once was.

But what I do know is that before we judge those in the program, we should look at how we’re behaving currently as individuals and as a society … because it can be argued we’re more caught up in ‘materialism heirarchy’ than any British company car driver of 1994.

Hell, when status is now defined/judged/awarded as much by how we live as what we own, it could be said we’re more caught up in the rat race than ever before.

So enjoy the show, but remember it’s more a mirror than a moment in history.

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