Filed under: 2024, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, Brands, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Confidence, Consultants, Context, Contribution, Corporate Gaslighting, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Delusion, Differentiation, Distinction, Effectiveness, Egovertising, End of Year, Experience, Fake Attitude, Honesty, Influencers, Leadership, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Only In Adland, Perspective, Planners, Planning, Point Of View, Positioning, Pretentious Rubbish, Professionalism, Provocative, Purpose, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect, Ridiculous, Standards, Status, Status Anxiety, Strategy, Stubborness, Stupid, Success, Talent, Toxic Positivity, Truth
As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.
So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.
How awesome is it?
I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.
The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.
You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.
Of technological advancement.
Of commercial optimisation.
A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.
Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.
Except it wasn’t was it?
Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.
Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.
Not even in Japan.
And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.
Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.
Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?
Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.
An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.
Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.
Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.
Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.
Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]
Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.
Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.
However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.
I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.
We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.
Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.
Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.
Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.
The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.
Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.
Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.
Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, British, Cars, Class System, Egovertising, Emotion, England, Equality, Experience, Fake Attitude, Imposter Syndrome, Individuality, Mediocrity, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Status, Status Anxiety
Years ago, when we had cynic, George did some research on car ownership in the UK.
It focused on how drivers – specifically, British male drivers – saw car heirarchy and how they reacted and responded to it in their daily lives.
I remember us presenting it to clients who were shocked by the spoken and unspoken rules and cues of the road.
I say this for 2 reasons.
1. I recently saw an old BBC program that perfectly encapsulates George’s findings.
2. It’s near the end of the year and I’m running out of things to write about.
[Don’t get too excited, it’s only temporary, and it’s not like it impacts quality, ha]
Ignoring point 2 for a moment, the documentary was fascinating.
An insight into the mind and behaviours of middle England.
The role of the class system.
The quest for materialism.
The importance of status.
And while the way they demonstrate this is equal parts sad, curious, petty and hilarious … it’s all underpinned by a level of transparency, honesty and self-awareness that you can’t help admire and kinda-relate to.
The need to be seen … to be respected … to progress … while all the time, being deeply aware of ‘your place’ in societies pecking order, including knowing how to deal with the expectations of behaviour placed upon you because of it.
While those not from the UK may read this and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, I can assure you, it was not just very real, it was a source of huge personal anxiety, vulnerability and pressure.
Now I don’t know if this ‘company car driver attitude’ remains.
And I don’t know if the ‘company car driver’ attitude was more prevelent in the UK.
Plus I’m not even sure if company car ‘ownership’ is as big in the UK as it once was.
But what I do know is that before we judge those in the program, we should look at how we’re behaving currently as individuals and as a society … because it can be argued we’re more caught up in ‘materialism heirarchy’ than any British company car driver of 1994.
Hell, when status is now defined/judged/awarded as much by how we live as what we own, it could be said we’re more caught up in the rat race than ever before.
So enjoy the show, but remember it’s more a mirror than a moment in history.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, Brands, Colleagues, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Confidence, Context, Culture, Customer Service, Egovertising, Fake Attitude, Finance
Customer service is a funny thing.
Companies make such a big deal of saying they care about their customers, but more often than not, the emphasis is adhering to their internal processes and protocols.
Now I get the importance of that, but the problem is that in most organisations, they forget to include one of the most critical elements to achieving customer satisfaction …
Empathy.
Empathy doesn’t mean accepting blame when it’s not your fault. Nor does it mean blindly agreeing with whatever you’re being asked. What empathy means is understanding what the customer is really saying.
Not their words.
Not what they write.
But connecting to what has led them to act.
Now it is important to note I am in no way blaming the people on the front line for any issue here. Frankly, they have an awful job, full of mental, emotional, and physical challenges.
No, my issue is with the policies they are mandated to adhere to by their bosses because more often than not, they care more about protecting the company than helping the customer.
Of course I get there are reasons for this.
Let’s be honest, some people are assholes and some ‘complaints’ are more about issues the person is dealing with than the company.
But maybe that’s the problem behind many organisations approach to customer service … that their starting point is ‘the customer is having a bad day’, rather than ‘why have we caused our customer to have a bad day’.
I remember working with a brilliant – but consistently angry – brand consultant, who was once hired by a car manufacturer to stop their customer service people being so generous to complaining customers.
After doing an audit on the business, he told the board the solution was simple:
“Stop making bad cars”.
He was right. They were notorious for building vehicles that failed. Or rusted. But that’s the issue behind many of the reasons ‘customer service departments’ face such a battle to do their job properly, because ultimately many of the issues they have to deal with are from issues company bosses know, but don’t want to acknowledge.
There may be many reasons for this situation, but – as we saw in the deliberate ignorance of the Sackler family in relation to the effects Codine was having on society – I can’t help but feel Upton Sinclair’s quote sums it up best:
“Man has difficulty understanding something if his salary depends on his not understanding”.
Maybe that’s why so many of the ‘customer satisfaction metrics and surveys’ that so many companies bang on on about are driven by systems, processes and data that is vague, loose and questionable.
Allegedly.
But as I said, often it’s not really about money … but empathy and that’s why I was particularly drawn to this tweet I read recently.
How awesome is that?
How loyal is that woman going to be now?
How many people are going to recognise an organisation who see’s customers as humans not just walking wallets?
Now I get it, her interact was not based on a complaint so you could argue it was a whole lot less difficult to deal with.
But here’s the thing, for me, the opposite is true.
That it wasn’t a complaint and yet they went out of their way to do something amazing shows a company who actually understands the importance of meeting and connecting with their customers mindset.
I wrote about the time I emailed Texas Instruments about a calculator I had that had been broken on the move between the US and the UK.
I said how – despite being almost 40 years old – it was very important to me because not only had my Mum given it to me when I was a young kid … she had helped actually design it.
I talked about how they wrote back saying that unfortunately they couldn’t fix it, but then did something that blew me away …
They found one in their vaults and sent it to me.
In its box.
With a case.
In perfect condition.
They could have easily just said they couldn’t help.
Hell, they could have just ignored me altogether.
But instead, they actively went out of their way to try and find a solution that would make some random guy who wrote to them from a random country, feel seen, understood, valued and cared for.
I cannot tell you what that meant to me.
I cannot tell you what that still means to me.
And I feel gratitude towards them every single day, because what that individual at Texas Instruments customer service did was not just give me a calculator that I use every day, they gave me a way to feel close to my Mum every day.
They didn’t have to do that.
There was nothing in it for them.
But they did.
And let’s remember, we’re talking about a calculator company here.
A FUCKING CALCULATOR COMPANY.
More than that, a calculator company who I last got a product from over 40 years ago.
And yet they showed more care and consideration towards me than pretty much any other brand I’ve interacted with in recent years.
Brands I’ve spent a shitload more cash with.
Like Audi. And Apple. And Air New Zealand. And ANZ Bank. And countless fucking more.
And while you could point at me and say, “why should they when you buy their products regardless?” … there’s a simple reason why they should re-evaluate.
Because – despite spending millions telling everyone how much they value their customers – their actions don’t come anywhere close to what a Calculator Company or a Fish Company have shown. In fact the very opposite.
For them, customer service is focused on ‘what’s easy and cheap’ whereas I’ve learned real customer service is when a company embraces inconvenience as a longer-term investment in their relationship.
Which iswhy I now have the same level of loyalty to all the ‘customer service imposters’ as they have for me.
Because service is not about what I get for free, it’s about serving what I need.
Even if that is just an empathetic ear.
So much customer service is designed around cliched archetypes.
Cliched archetypes that are more about what the brand wants me to like rather than what I actually want.
Because I fly a lot, I am generally in the top tier of many airline frequent flyer programs … and yet, excluding Virgin Atlantic, [which is more to do with my relationship with Lee than the airline having their shit together] none of them show they see me as an individual. Nope, all of them bombard me with ‘deals’ on golf memberships or wine or exclusive restaurants despite the fact I don’t drink, I don’t like fancy food and I fucking hate people who are a member of a golf club.
And this is not a new view, I’ve always had it.
Which is why the next time you meet someone who says their company is ‘customer centric’, ask them 2 questions:
1. What does that mean to them?
2. What are their people empowered and enabled to do?
Because if their definition doesn’t come close to referencing what the people at Texas Instruments – and The North Atlantic Fish Company – do … which, let’s face it, it won’t … then you can inform them they need to rename their customer service department to what it really is, the C-Suite profit protection service.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Embarrassing Moments, Fake Attitude, Marketing Fail
We all love recognition.
Whether a compliment from a colleague or an award from your industry … recognition is a wonderful reward for your efforts.
Not that it is always done with that objective or intent, but if feels good and – in certain circumstances – can lead to a whole host of opportunities, from relationships to promotions.
But there are occasions where recognition sucks.
I don’t mean that in terms of the type of recognition Liz Truss achieved when she became the shortest serving [and economy destroying] Prime Minister in the history of the UK, I mean in terms of this …
‘The Most Innovative Leaders Transforming The Future of Energy in 2024’ …
What the fuck???
I’m not saying that simply because of their attempt to associate me with it, I’m saying that because it’s ego-filled bullshit.
“Innovative”.
“Transforming”.
“Future”.
My god … are they trying to play corporate buzzword bingo???
But that aside, why am I getting sent this email?
Yes, I worked with FFI – where we did our Rick and Morty collab – and yes, they are very innovative, but they don’t mention them in the email so I can only assume they have decided to specifically and deliberately ‘target’ me.
But what is even more hilarious is how they’re desperately trying to insinuate I’m connected to ‘the most innovative leaders transforming the future of energy in 2024’ … when in reality, all they’re trying to do is get me to advertise in their magazine.
Except there’s 2 problems.
1. I know I’d never be nominated to be in that group, because …
2. I don’t work in the industry of that group.
Which suggests either their database of information is more flawed than a Tory Politician or they’re just utterly stupid.
And here’s the thing …
While pandering to ego – either overtly or suggestively – can work, you better make sure you have your facts and context right because otherwise the bubble of delusion you’re trying to get people inside will pop and ne replaced with a great big spotlight that shines bright on the bullshit of it all.
Given Sam – the author of the email – has failed to recognise this fact from my continued disregard for his email, I’ve replied to his email with a link to this post.
So Sam … if you’re reading this, 10/10 for persistence. 1/10 for believability.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Brand, Brand Suicide, China, Cliches, Clothes, Comment, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Consultants, Context, Craft, Crap Products In History, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Cynic, Delusion, Distinction, Equality, Fake Attitude, Imposter Syndrome, London, Perspective, Planning, Point Of View, Professionalism, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Wieden+Kennedy
This is a post about naming strategies.
Yes, I know I’ve talked about this before.
A lot of times before.
The processes.
The considerations.
The complications.
… but mainly it’s been about how certain branding consultancies charge an absolute fortune to come up with some utter nonsensical bullshit that they back up with 1000’s of pages of self-serving pseudo-science bullshit and still end up creating something pants. Kind of like the explanation of the Pepsi rebrand from 15 years ago. Or most Linkedin ‘guru’ pontification.
But the other side of this is when people choose to put no effort in whatsoever.
Hiding their recommendation behind terms such as ‘colloquial context’ or ‘cultural vernacular’.
Don’t get me wrong, there are times where a stripped back approach can be powerful.
A way to connect to society by taking their cultural references and contexts head-on.
Hell, cynic used to embrace an approach that we literally called, ‘unplanned‘.
However, while this was about removing any element of pomposity, it still had to elevate how people saw or connected to what we did. Any fool can churn out lowest common denominator stuff … but it takes a certain amount of skill and flair to develop something that not only connects and engages the masses, but does it in a way where the value of the product/brand is increased and improved to all.
We used to call this ‘massperation’ … which still makes me feel sick even today, hahahaha.
I say all this to justify something I saw recently.
Or should I say something Otis saw recently.
You see down the road from us there’s a house being built.
It’s in full-on construction mode and as it is on the way to Otis’ school, he passes it every day.
Anyway, one day he came and told me he’d seen the building site loo and was shocked with its name.
It was this:
That’s right, it’s called the ‘Shitbox’.
To be honest, I’m not sure if Otis should have been more surprised at the name or the fact it proudly states it’s a ‘high viz’ toilet box.
HIGH FUCKING VIZ!
Is the toilet going to be walking along the street late at night? Do builders have such bad eyesight they can’t find a 6 foot high toilet without it being painted bright orange? Are construction workers such bad drivers they need to be warned of where the portaloos are so as not to hit them?
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?
Anyway, I digress.
The point is that while calling the portaloo a ‘shitbox’ may make sense … I can’t help but feel it is also playing into the builder cliche. Sure, cliches happen because they represent a common behavior or attitude that is played out over a sustained period of time … but often this is only a ‘perceived’ behavior or attitude [usually promoted by an individual or organisation who have found a way to monetise the acceptance of this view] that victimizes anyone who does not live upto the cliche.
I appreciate you may think I’ve gone full-on woke … but apart from the fact I don’t think considering others is a bad thing, I see this behaviour over and over again.
Hell, even Jaguar – with their ‘interesting’ rebrand did it by revealing their new concept cars in pink and blue.
PINK AND FUCKING BLUE.
They made such a big deal about how they ‘delete ordinary’, ‘break moulds’ and ‘copy nothing’ and then they actively, loudly and proudly reinforce the most basic of gender stereotypes. On the World fucking stage!
I totally appreciate you can go over-the-top with this stuff – especially given this whole post was inspired by a building site portaloo. I also get people may think I am suggesting we should name products/brands with words that offer no defining characteristic to avoid any potential stereotype. But neither of those are what I’m trying to say.
All I am attempting to point out is that words matter. And while I fully appreciate naming is a difficult task, I find it fascinating companies spend millions on ‘solutions’ that tend to fall into either pompous, basic or made-up.
Or said another way, names that define, limit or pander rather than celebrate those who use them and the reasons they do.