The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Problem With Good Customer Service Is You Have To Actually Care About The Customer …

Customer service is a funny thing.

Companies make such a big deal of saying they care about their customers, but more often than not, the emphasis is adhering to their internal processes and protocols.

Now I get the importance of that, but the problem is that in most organisations, they forget to include one of the most critical elements to achieving customer satisfaction …

Empathy.

Empathy doesn’t mean accepting blame when it’s not your fault. Nor does it mean blindly agreeing with whatever you’re being asked. What empathy means is understanding what the customer is really saying.

Not their words.
Not what they write.
But connecting to what has led them to act.

Now it is important to note I am in no way blaming the people on the front line for any issue here. Frankly, they have an awful job, full of mental, emotional, and physical challenges.

No, my issue is with the policies they are mandated to adhere to by their bosses because more often than not, they care more about protecting the company than helping the customer.

Of course I get there are reasons for this.

Let’s be honest, some people are assholes and some ‘complaints’ are more about issues the person is dealing with than the company.

But maybe that’s the problem behind many organisations approach to customer service … that their starting point is ‘the customer is having a bad day’, rather than ‘why have we caused our customer to have a bad day’.

I remember working with a brilliant – but consistently angry – brand consultant, who was once hired by a car manufacturer to stop their customer service people being so generous to complaining customers.

After doing an audit on the business, he told the board the solution was simple:

“Stop making bad cars”.

He was right. They were notorious for building vehicles that failed. Or rusted. But that’s the issue behind many of the reasons ‘customer service departments’ face such a battle to do their job properly, because ultimately many of the issues they have to deal with are from issues company bosses know, but don’t want to acknowledge.

There may be many reasons for this situation, but – as we saw in the deliberate ignorance of the Sackler family in relation to the effects Codine was having on society – I can’t help but feel Upton Sinclair’s quote sums it up best:

“Man has difficulty understanding something if his salary depends on his not understanding”.

Maybe that’s why so many of the ‘customer satisfaction metrics and surveys’ that so many companies bang on on about are driven by systems, processes and data that is vague, loose and questionable.

Allegedly.

But as I said, often it’s not really about money … but empathy and that’s why I was particularly drawn to this tweet I read recently.

How awesome is that?

How loyal is that woman going to be now?

How many people are going to recognise an organisation who see’s customers as humans not just walking wallets?

Now I get it, her interact was not based on a complaint so you could argue it was a whole lot less difficult to deal with.

But here’s the thing, for me, the opposite is true.

That it wasn’t a complaint and yet they went out of their way to do something amazing shows a company who actually understands the importance of meeting and connecting with their customers mindset.

I wrote about the time I emailed Texas Instruments about a calculator I had that had been broken on the move between the US and the UK.

I said how – despite being almost 40 years old – it was very important to me because not only had my Mum given it to me when I was a young kid … she had helped actually design it.

I talked about how they wrote back saying that unfortunately they couldn’t fix it, but then did something that blew me away …

They found one in their vaults and sent it to me.

In its box.

With a case.

In perfect condition.

They could have easily just said they couldn’t help.

Hell, they could have just ignored me altogether.

But instead, they actively went out of their way to try and find a solution that would make some random guy who wrote to them from a random country, feel seen, understood, valued and cared for.

I cannot tell you what that meant to me.

I cannot tell you what that still means to me.

And I feel gratitude towards them every single day, because what that individual at Texas Instruments customer service did was not just give me a calculator that I use every day, they gave me a way to feel close to my Mum every day.

They didn’t have to do that.

There was nothing in it for them.

But they did.

And let’s remember, we’re talking about a calculator company here.

A FUCKING CALCULATOR COMPANY.

More than that, a calculator company who I last got a product from over 40 years ago.

And yet they showed more care and consideration towards me than pretty much any other brand I’ve interacted with in recent years.

Brands I’ve spent a shitload more cash with.

Like Audi. And Apple. And Air New Zealand. And ANZ Bank. And countless fucking more.

And while you could point at me and say, “why should they when you buy their products regardless?” … there’s a simple reason why they should re-evaluate.

Because – despite spending millions telling everyone how much they value their customers – their actions don’t come anywhere close to what a Calculator Company or a Fish Company have shown. In fact the very opposite.

For them, customer service is focused on ‘what’s easy and cheap’ whereas I’ve learned real customer service is when a company embraces inconvenience as a longer-term investment in their relationship.

Which iswhy I now have the same level of loyalty to all the ‘customer service imposters’ as they have for me.

Because service is not about what I get for free, it’s about serving what I need.

Even if that is just an empathetic ear.

So much customer service is designed around cliched archetypes.

Cliched archetypes that are more about what the brand wants me to like rather than what I actually want.

Because I fly a lot, I am generally in the top tier of many airline frequent flyer programs … and yet, excluding Virgin Atlantic, [which is more to do with my relationship with Lee than the airline having their shit together] none of them show they see me as an individual. Nope, all of them bombard me with ‘deals’ on golf memberships or wine or exclusive restaurants despite the fact I don’t drink, I don’t like fancy food and I fucking hate people who are a member of a golf club.

And this is not a new view, I’ve always had it.

Which is why the next time you meet someone who says their company is ‘customer centric’, ask them 2 questions:

1. What does that mean to them?
2. What are their people empowered and enabled to do?

Because if their definition doesn’t come close to referencing what the people at Texas Instruments – and The North Atlantic Fish Company – do … which, let’s face it, it won’t … then you can inform them they need to rename their customer service department to what it really is, the C-Suite profit protection service.

Comments Off on The Problem With Good Customer Service Is You Have To Actually Care About The Customer …


When Recognition Is An Insult …

We all love recognition.

Whether a compliment from a colleague or an award from your industry … recognition is a wonderful reward for your efforts.

Not that it is always done with that objective or intent, but if feels good and – in certain circumstances – can lead to a whole host of opportunities, from relationships to promotions.

But there are occasions where recognition sucks.

I don’t mean that in terms of the type of recognition Liz Truss achieved when she became the shortest serving [and economy destroying] Prime Minister in the history of the UK, I mean in terms of this …

‘The Most Innovative Leaders Transforming The Future of Energy in 2024’ …

What the fuck???

I’m not saying that simply because of their attempt to associate me with it, I’m saying that because it’s ego-filled bullshit.

“Innovative”.
“Transforming”.
“Future”.

My god … are they trying to play corporate buzzword bingo???

But that aside, why am I getting sent this email?

Yes, I worked with FFI – where we did our Rick and Morty collab – and yes, they are very innovative, but they don’t mention them in the email so I can only assume they have decided to specifically and deliberately ‘target’ me.

But what is even more hilarious is how they’re desperately trying to insinuate I’m connected to ‘the most innovative leaders transforming the future of energy in 2024’ … when in reality, all they’re trying to do is get me to advertise in their magazine.

Except there’s 2 problems.

1. I know I’d never be nominated to be in that group, because …
2. I don’t work in the industry of that group.

Which suggests either their database of information is more flawed than a Tory Politician or they’re just utterly stupid.

And here’s the thing …

While pandering to ego – either overtly or suggestively – can work, you better make sure you have your facts and context right because otherwise the bubble of delusion you’re trying to get people inside will pop and ne replaced with a great big spotlight that shines bright on the bullshit of it all.

Given Sam – the author of the email – has failed to recognise this fact from my continued disregard for his email, I’ve replied to his email with a link to this post.

So Sam … if you’re reading this, 10/10 for persistence. 1/10 for believability.

Comments Off on When Recognition Is An Insult …


How An Ad For Another Aussie ‘Icon’ Showed Qantas Would Not Be Able To Proudly Boast About Their Planes Safety Record If They Had To Include Their Advertising In Their Statistics …

Many years ago – 2009 to be precise – I wrote a take down of Qantas, the Australian Airline.

It wasn’t about their experience or service which – back then – were pretty good, certainly much better than they are today. No, it was about the lyrics to their ‘iconic’ song, ‘Still Call Australia Home‘.

Now I appreciate I’m a Brit.

I appreciate that, at the time, I had an agency called Cynic, so was full of piss and vinegar.

I even appreciate – as my Aussie wife reinforced to me in no uncertain terms – that the song and Qantas’ advertising was pretty special for Aussies so maybe I should shut the fuck up.

And that is good advice. Except 15 years later, I’ve decided to come back with a comeback.

You see recently I saw an ad for another Australian icon …

The difference being this one is worthy of that label annnnnnd – even more significantly – they’ve made a piece of advertising that ignites all the emotion, pride and Australian spirit that Qantas would possibly sacrifice their ‘never had a crash’ reputation, to achieve.

[Please note, this is simply to emphasise the point. I get it’s not a great turn of phrase. And I obviously don’t mean it. So if you prefer, simply replace it with: “… that Qantas would allow themselves to be embroiled in even more financial scandal, to achieve”. Better? Oh god … there’s no pleasing some people is there!]

Anyway, if you’re wondering what I’m talking about, it’s this from the Sydney Opera House for their 50th anniversary.

[Though while it’s being shared a lot at the moment, it actually came out about 8 months ago]

I love it.

I love it so much it made a cynical Brit emotional.

Sure, I have an Aussie wife … a ½ Aussie son … Australian residency and was even a member of the audience in a couple of the historic scenes they show in the film … but I’ve never, ever felt that way about a Qantas ad.

Not once.

Hell, I don’t even like Tim Minchin – the guy who leads every thing in the ad – and yet I still felt connected to the spot.

Part of it could be because The Opera House was to me, a symbol of Australia, decades before I moved there.

I still remember how overawed and overwhelmed I was when I first saw it for real. This incredible place whose image had been burned into my mind from years of seeing it on TV shows, in magazine articles or just everyday imagery.

But it’s more than that, it’s what the place signifies.

The story that underpins the whole film.

A true story.

One where the quest to do something different triumphs over the demands to control and conform. An ode to the majesty of imagination and art rather than the adherence of tradition and regulation.

It all feels – ignoring the fact the Opera House was designed by the Dane, Jørn Utzon – much closer to the ‘Aussie spirit’ than anything Qantas has ever done.

A salute to those who wish to push and challenge rather than seek the comfort of being back ‘where they’re comfortable’.

Now I appreciate that maybe that spirit is more confined to the past than the present.

One look at how the vote for ‘The Voice’ turned out reveals comfort, convenience and control are the words of the day.

But that aside, it’s a very special film.

Helped by the fact the Opera House is a very special place.

Not just for Australia, but for anyone who hopes for something a bit more.

A bit more personal.

A bit more emotional.

A bit more wonderful.

And if you need any more reason why you should love the Opera House far, far more than Qantas … let me tell you, even the Opera House’s cheapest seats offer more leg room than pretty much anything you’ll get on that airline.

Comments Off on How An Ad For Another Aussie ‘Icon’ Showed Qantas Would Not Be Able To Proudly Boast About Their Planes Safety Record If They Had To Include Their Advertising In Their Statistics …


Don’t Drink While Writing Ads …

I have a history of working on clients I don’t really have a right to work on.

Sport.
High Fashion.
Female Haircare.

OK, so I have a real relationship with sport, but I think the reason I have been able to [even though I say it myself] be so successful with the other categories is that I get so into what I am working on. I get kind-of obsessed with learning and understanding everything about it and throw myself into reading all I can about the culture, history and category before I then interview everyone I can meet who is authentically connected to it.

No outsourcing to superficial focus groups … it’s about graft. Working with the people who create and push the category rather than those who simply buy the product.

It’s served me well – underpinned by clients who care about their audience rather than just see them as walking wallets and me being being self-aware enough to know my perspective is from an outsiders point of view, so I need to explore everything while assuming nothing.

I say all this because one of the other categories I’ve worked on that I shouldn’t, is alcohol.

Why shouldn’t I?

Because the last sip of booze that passed my lips was in 1985.

NINETEEN EIGHTY FIVE … so 39 years ago!

And yet over that time, I’ve worked on everything from Heineken, Guinness, Johnnie Walker and the development of Blackened, for Metallica.

Beer advertising in particular is fascinating because there tends to be 2 states:

Sponsored jokes or pretentious bullshit.

Now I get why it falls into these 2 states because client/agencies tend to either want to reaffirm their beer is ‘fun and social’ or ‘important and crafted’.

But for every Guinness Surfer, Carlton Draft Big Ad, John Smiths No Nonsense, DB Export Brewtroleum or going right back, Heineken Refreshes … there’s a whole heap of contrived, lifestyle rubbish.

Lazy headlines placed over generic Getty image photography.

One I saw recently was this from Tiger.

Now I appreciate the photo does not do it justice, but the headline reads:

Tiger Crystal.
Ultra Low Carb.
Extra Refreshing.

The reason this does my head in is two-fold.

First is you have to understand Tiger is very close to my heart.

Not only was it one of the first brands I worked on when I first moved to Asia, I also won the worldwide account – literally on my own – against 4 network agencies back in the early 2000’s.

Apart from that allowing me to work with some brilliant people on some brilliant assignments, it also resulted in Campaign Magazine featuring me on their front page in all my sweary glory, which is obviously a career high, hahaha.

But the other reason is that copy makes no fucking sense.

What the hell does ‘extra refreshing’ mean?

Oh I know how they’ll justify it …

With less carbs, the beer tastes even better to the drinker. Not literally, but emotionally.

And while there may be an element of truth to that … it doesn’t make it EXTRA refreshing. More drinkable maybe, but not extra refreshing. But here’s the thing, if it’s that good, why don’t they make ALL their beer like this?

Why don’t they bring their ‘extra refreshing’ premise to all their products?

I’ll tell you why, because it’s bollocks.

It’s lazy marketing … another example of vacuous superlatives being churned out to sound exciting without any thought, consideration or any excitement. An act of arrogance, demonstrating how important the brand thinks it is and how little they think – or understand – the audience they literally serve.

Now I appreciate some may say, ‘why does it matter, no one will pay much attention to it’?

And I get that … except that’s the point really.

Our job is to try and make people pay attention.

To give a shit.

They’re not going to think it changes their life, but they shouldn’t blindly ignore it.

It’s this sort of arrogance that demonstrates the lack of self-awareness that has permeated the industry. A blind belief that everything we do is great simply because we did it … despite the fact in the real world, all we’re doing is adding to the social landfill and social pollution of shit advertising.

Where is the pride in who we are, what we do and the intelligence of who we engage?

Where?

We’re so much better than this. And just to be clear, I’m not solely blaming whoever did this awfulness, it’s also the clients, procurement and ‘for profit’ research companies who created the environment where this ends up being deemed ‘worthy’.

I swear the biggest problem the industry has is every department and discipline has its own agendas and metrics for success.

There’s no alignment.
No agreement on what we want and need to make.
Just distain, distrust and self-interest.

Of course not everyone is like this – thank god – but if clients want to see the potential of their brand and agencies want to push the possibilities of their creativity, there has to be a moment where we stop hiding awfulness under the blanket of marketing justifiable rationales, because for all the NPS, system 1, best-practice approaches we may proudly shout about, there are two questions that trump all.

Is it true and does it make us give a shit?

Comments Off on Don’t Drink While Writing Ads …


Be The Steak, Never The Parsley …

When I first worked in Asia, I was struck by how many people attended meetings.

More than that, I was struck by how many people attended meetings and did/said nothing.

Now I am all for exposing young talent to stuff like this – it’s interesting and valuable and I realise how helpful and beneficial it was to me when I experienced it – however the longer I lived there, the more I realised it had nothing to do with ‘education’ and everything to do with ego and pandering.

Ego in the sense of ‘look how many people I’ve got working for me’.

Pandering in the sense of ‘look how important you are to us’.

And while you may think clients would look at this and question why they are paying for that many people – albeit at that time, talent was very cheap in comparison to other markets – the reality is they were also playing the game, so the inflation rate of ‘meeting attendance’ was worse than Russian currency circa 1984.

Over my time there, I managed to kill this attitude – at least with the meetings I had – reducing the numbers present to just the essential people and maybe one ‘observer’ for exposure and education … which is why you can imagine my surprise when I left Asia and found the West had now also adopted the ‘loads of people in attendance’ protocol for every internal/client meeting.

And for exactly the same reasons.

ARGHHHHHH.

While I appreciate every bit of work takes a village and clarity, communication and collaboration play a vital role in making great things happen … you don’t need everyone to be in every meeting. And yet some people find a way to always be there. To inject themselves into processes without ever actually doing anything … just seemingly looking like they are.

Which is why this piece by George Tannenbaum so good.

Tragic in it’s truth, but so good in its observation.

And while it is on companies for allowing this behaviour – which is madness, given how challenging times are for business right now, and how they could be better supporting/paying those people who are actively contributing to the work rather than hiding behind it – it is also indicative of how some organisations value complicity more than different opinions.

Now I appreciate there will be some people out there who will think the idea of being a piece of parsley sounds great.

You get paid.
You pretend to be important.
You attend the big meetings.

But the reality is – as George points out – everyone knows you’re pointless.

A bit of garnish always left to the side.

Nothing distinctive.
Completely replaceable.
Lacking any taste or value.

Or said another way, a life of complicity, not respectability.

And while George writes it as if parsley is still a necessity, I feel differently which is why I would say if you want a career … one of the best pieces of advice I could give is always look for ways to be the steak.

Doesn’t matter what job you do.

What level you’re at.

Add value, not just garnish.

It may be simply doing what is needed when it’s needed. It may be bringing new ideas to old problems. It may simply be being interested in what others are interested in.

Because while that might sound harder work than being parsley, it’s not as hard as the effort it takes to look busy while producing nothing. Let alone the strength of character it requires to ignore the fact you know your colleagues know exactly what you’re doing and they’re showing you the exact amount of respect that your attitude deserves.

And if you want proof, read Matt Beaumont’s brilliant book, E.

Specifically the actions, behaviour and response of the ‘head of account management’.

It’s supposed to be a comedy, but it’s really a documentary … and a reminder that people may absolutely detest assholes, but they detest imposter assholes most of all.

Comments Off on Be The Steak, Never The Parsley …