The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Pride Can Come Before A Fall, But It Can Also Make You Stick Things Out To Let The Impossible Happen So A Prick Doesn’t Win…

I have written before that apart from my friend Paul, I owe almost everything in my life to the fact I left the UK and went on an adventure.

Without that, I would not have met my wife … would not have had my son … would not have had my pets … would not be working with rock stars … would not have had all the life experiences and adventures I’ve been fortunate to enjoy and almost certainly would not have the career I currently enjoy.

That’s pretty huge when you think about it and while there’s a whole list of people I need to thank for making it all possible, one of them is an old boss.

Who was a prick.

I had a rather complex relationship with this individual.

Because while they were pompous, petty, condescending and rude, they were also smart, knowledgable and experienced.

On top of that, they gave me a shot on a couple of projects that they probably shouldn’t have. I should point out that wasn’t because they necessarily believed in me – it was more there was no one else to do it – but I appreciated it all the same.

Anyway, when I decided to leave – to go explore opportunities in another country – they were pretty pissed off with me.

While I’d love to say it was because they didn’t want me to go, the reality was they were frustrated I was leaving after they’d agreed to give me a payrise.

That this ‘rise’ was still below market rate and they’d fucked me around for literally 2 years, seemed to have completely slipped their mind … which is maybe why on the day I left, they thought it would be ‘funny’ to write the following comment in my leaving card.

“You’ll be back. Come crawling”.

I remember watching him going around telling people what he had written, laughing hilariously at his own ‘joke’ and while I didn’t take it too much to heart – because everyone knew he was a bit of a prick – it still hurt.

Little did I know then, how those 5 little words would play such an pivotal role in how my career would turn out.

You see, when I ended up in this other country, I initially found it very difficult.

Not just because I didn’t have friends, contacts or a job … but because my Dad was very ill back in the UK.

In all honesty, the temptation to go back was huge but there were 2 reasons I stuck it out.

1. I wanted to show my gratitude to my parents for supporting and encouraging me to go, despite them going through a terribly tough time because of my Dad’s major stroke.
2. Those 5 little words.

While I’d like to think the former was the biggest motivator, I fear it may have been the latter.

That’s pretty pathetic isn’t it … especially as I could have gone back without having to go back to that old job.

But I wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction directly or indirectly.

And so I persevered.

Pushed, prodded, walked the streets, did shitty, temporary roles … anything that kept me from gaving to go back with my tail betweeen my legs.

And it everntually worked out.

Not because of any talent I did or did not have, but because of my perseverence.

And willingness to take any bullshit salary … hahaha.

But for me, getting a break was my main objective … because while I knew I was not the smartest strategst, I knew my work ethic meant I could out-work most.

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that is a toxic trait – but it is my trait – and back then, it was a way for me to prove my worth to agencies/clients who didn’t have to give me a chance or keep me on board.

Of course, over the years, my motivation for continuing to explore the possibilities of the World and my career have evolved.

These days it is far more about wanting to feel I’d be making my parents proud than it is me reacting to 5 little words from a toxic, little manager.

But I also have to acknowledge that without that persons toxic motivation, it is unlikely I would be in the situtation I currently enjoy.

So thank you AC … you were a strange little man, but for all the fucked up shit you did – and there was plenty – you did one thing right, even if it was wrong.

And while I doubt you even remember me – let alone care what I’ve done – it doesn’t matter.

Because I didn’t come back and didn’t come crawling and so for that, I won, so there.

It’s Easter long-weekend that then leads into a big week for me/Colenso – from us hosting Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast to me saying goodbye [for the second time] to someone who is very special to me … so have a great weekend, overeat Chocolate and Hot Cross Buns and I’ll see you Tuesday.

Till then, this is for you AC.

With thanks.

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A Process Is Just A Process Until You Step Into It …

It is pretty obvious I have a major issue with a lot of the ‘best practice’ processes and practices certain members of my industry love to bang on about.

Not just because ‘best practice, is past practice’, but because these individuals position their approach as the legitimisation of the discipline they claim or suggest they are an expert in. Implying that anyone who does not strictly adhere to their process is an imposter and a danger to whatever organisation they’re working with.

It’s the sort of deluded arrogance that people who describe themselves as an ‘evidence based’ strategist embodies … attempting to infer everyone else is simply making things up and don’t give a fuck what happens afterwards.

It’s everywhere. Twitter. Linkedin. Conferences.

You name it and someone is bragging and banging on about it.

But what makes this hilarious is that many of these self-appointed experts have never made any work of any repute whatsoever. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Which means their entire viewpoint is either based on their own post-rationalised evaluation of another persons work or their narrow, naive and/or skewed viewpoint of what constitutes as ‘good’.

Don’t get me wrong, process matters.

In no way am I advocating you just chuck it all out.

However the difference is my processes does not require me to outsource my brain, imagination, curiosity, gut or ambition to fit into a format whose goal is to deliver a standardised, consistent response rather than enable the opportunity for greater possibility.

And that’s the big problem for me …

Because so many of these ‘models’ seem to care more about the process than what the process is meant to help enable. Actually, even that is wrong … because more and more of these models don’t even care about ‘enabling’ anything … they instruct you to simply follow the format and then do whatever the fuck comes out the other end.

No questioning.

No challenging.

No pushing.

Just blind adherence.

Martin and I talked about the folly of this approach in 2019 with our Case For Chaos talk at Cannes for WARC and then – in 2023 – Paula joined us on the same stage for our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative presentation.

But still this approach and attitude goes on … and while I don’t deny it can be effective, it rarely has the impact or influence as work that comes from a process shaped and flavoured by ideas, imagination or ambition.

But then I wonder if that is the goal anyway … because frankly, the obsession with efficiency means more and more companies don’t want to move towards where they could be and just want to optimize where they’re currently at. Adopting an attitude of ‘when we fall behind, we’ll simply catch up’.

Though they will never admit that publicly – oh no – what they is they’re investing in ‘business transformation’.

Hahahahahahahaha.

A while back I met one of these ‘dot-to-dot’ advocates at a conference I was attending.

Early in the discussion, they said their company had pioneered a process that “guaranteed success”. And then proceeded to talk about their system that ‘removed the risk of contaminated thinking’.

They literally said that.

I looked around the room waiting for someone to say something. Anything. But no one did.

Worse, they seemed to be nodding their heads in agreement. Or awe.

So I stuck my hand up.

Eventually I was seen and asked if I had a question, to which I replied:

“I was just wondering if you know what the words ‘guaranteed’ and ‘success’ mean?”

Yes, I know that was a total asshole move.

It alienated me immediately.

And while I regret how I asked my question, I don’t regret asking my question because that sort of declaration is insane. Not just because it’s not true, but because their ‘examples of proof’ are rarely more than a brand doing a bit better than it has before.

Now I appreciate that’s nothing to sneeze at, but it’s hardly Metallica is it?

A band that plays a niche genre of music, has pensioners as members and yet is the 2nd best selling American group in music history. MUSIC HISTORY!

And I can tell you, that didn’t happen blindly adopting the latest best practice process.

Where are their examples of that sort of impact?

Oh I know … in the hands of the fuckers who do shit, not spout it.

Look, I am not dismissing process.

Nor am I devaluing rigour.

But I am redefining what they mean in comparison to how more and more people seem to be interpreting it.

As we said at Cannes, strategy is the first creative act.

A chance to leap not step.

An opportunity to leave the category behind rather than reinforce the category.

But you don’t achieve that by simply ‘filling in the blanks’ with your functional and rational data.

No … if you really want to have a shot at changing where you can go and where you can be, you have to heed the advice of Rob Strasser – the iconic Nike exec – who said this:

“A shoe is just a shoe until someone steps in it”.

By that, I mean don’t just follow a framework, put your whole self into it.

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Nothing Highlights A Brand That Isn’t A Brand Than The Annual Lifecycle Of The Rebrand …

Take a look at this photo of Bjorn Borg and John McEnroe.

How good is it?

Two icons of tennis …

Hell, for people of a certain age, they’re still icons, despite this pic being taken in 1978.

But this isn’t about them, this is about McEnroe’s shirt.

McEnroe’s NIKE shirt.

Notice anything about it? Anything different at all?

Well let me put you out of your misery, because the answer is there’s absolutely nothing different about it whatsoever.

It’s the same logo as you see today.
It’s the same font as you see today.
It’s the same flawed genius athlete as you see today.

It is a demonstration of a brand who has always known who the fuck it is, what/who it stands for and what it believes.

A brand that made that logo ‘an asset’ through the decisions it makes and the athletes it associates with.

For over 50+ years.

No ‘relaunch’.
No ‘brand purpose’ statement.
No ‘one colour’ brand systems.
No ‘system 2’ decision making.

Hell, they’re even OK with making mistakes because they are focused on fighting, challenging, pushing and provoking athletes and sport rather than chasing popularity and convenience.

In fact, the greatest irony is the reason they’re currently in the shit is because certain people decided their 50+ years of pushing who they are, what/who they stand for and what they believe was now out of date. Irrelevant. Not ‘optimising or maximising’ their commercial value enough. So they turned their back on who they are to embrace what many modern marketing guru’s said they should be … ignoring the fact these people have never done – or achieved – anything close to what NIKE has and does.

Now it is very true there are certain things NIKE have been slow to embrace. Some are mindblowingly ridiculous and stupid. However, I would argue that is more because they shed so many people who loved and live for sport while replacing them with people who love and live for marketing processes and practices.

Because while there is – if done correctly – value in those things, it’s important to remember they never MAKE a brand, they – at best – help empower it. A bit.

That we’ve chosen to forget this to enable us to profit from an increasing number of companies who seek to disguise the fact they don’t know who they fuck they are, what/who they stand for and what they believe, highlights how much marketing has become an industry of platitudes, not provocation.

Which is why I will always remember what a friend of my Dad once told me.

He was a lawyer, but his words were very pertinent for marketing.

Especially a lot of what passes – or is celebrated – in marketing today.

He basically said: “Great companies don’t change who they are but always fight to change where they are”

Sadly, it feels too many have got things the wrong way around these days.

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The Inconvenient Truth About Brand Assets …

There’s been a lot written and said about brand assets over the years.

A lot of claims and over-promises.

Hell, careers have been made from being a cheerleader of it … even though it has also been responsible for a whole lot of terrible advertising.

Contrived, complicit and confused advertising.

That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a value – or a role – but as I wrote here, the thing rarely talked about is that brand assets don’t happen by themselves. You can’t buy them off the shelf or make them happen by simply repeating their use ad-nauseum.

No, the only way to turn an attribute into an asset is through creativity.

It’s creativity that gives it meaning.
It’s creativity that gives it a purpose and role.
It’s creativity that imbues it with financial value.

I appreciate that might not fit the narrative of certain people, but that’s the reality of the situation … or it is if you want to do it properly. Unfortunately, it appears more and more people don’t. Preferring to outsource their responsibility – which, let’s not forget, they are paid to do – to generalistic and simplistic solutions that are focused on recognition, not value.

Nothing brought this home more than this ad I saw for a new Nike store in Auckland.

Look at this …

What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck is that?

While they have used a number of NIKE’s ‘brand assets’ – namely the font and swoosh – it’s pretty obvious whoever put this together has no understanding or appreciation of what they represent or how to use them.

Mind you, it also seems they also have no understanding or appreciation of sport, art direction or design.

It’s like they’ve just taken a few pieces and shoved them wherever they like – like a terrible jigsaw puzzle that doesn’t show the picture they need to create.

Which highlights another thing rarely talked about brand assets …

Just because you’ve earned them, doesn’t mean you can’t lose them.

Treat them with distain and you’ll find all that hard work will be for nothing.

Moving from a brand asset to an attribute to a warning sign to stay the fuck away.

Brand assets are made and built over time.
They need nurturing, crafting and supporting.
They’re not something that once earned, can be used any way you choose.

It’s why the people who use them need to understand them.

What they represent.
The context they play in.
Their creative meaning and expression.
How to actually fucking use them in the right way.

Without any of that you don’t just fail to unlock their inherent value and power, you’re killing their credibility and the brand they’re tied to.

That doesn’t mean you can evolve them. Or expand them. Or play with them in different ways. Nike – of all brands – is very good at doing that. But that only happens because generally they’re embraced by people who have a deep understanding of what they stand for and represent … rather than random ‘colours and logos’ that they treat as a range of stickers they believe they can put wherever they want and whenever they choose.

It’s why I get so frustrated with how certain people talk about them. Acting they’re like ‘parts’ that can be replaced, exchanged, adapted or used however someone chooses … which ultimately demonstrates many of the people who talk like this don’t actually understand what a brand is, what it takes to build one or the difference between post-rationalising and creating.

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Play To Win, Rather Than Not To Lose …

When Tiger and Nike recently ended their relationship after close on 3 decades, there was a lot written about why.

Hot takes.
Wild ideas.
Conspiracy theories.

But among them all was a post by Tom Bassett – a brilliant ex-Wieden strategist who was there when so much of what became Nike folklore was written.

The reason his voice stood out is because it wasn’t WHY the relationship ended, but why it started.

At the heart of his story was the brief Phil Knight gave for NIKE Golf.

He said: “Get NIKE to be #1 in golf or we get out the category all together”.

Having had the errrrm, pleasure(?) to meet and present to Mr Knight a few times, I can literally hear him saying/barking this … and what I love about it is the stubborn, blinkered ambition.

We seem to live in a world where the majority of conversation is around optimization … efficiency … brand assets … and basically how to get the most out of what you’ve got.

There’s nothing wrong with that, except it’s all about not being wrong than being as good as you can be.

Or said another way, being comfortable with what you’ve got as opposed to being impatient for what you want to have.

Get to #1 is a proper goal. One where the evaluation criteria is very fucking simple.

No hiding behind incremental growth or internal metrics … #1 is a criteria that dictates decisions and investment rather than the other way around.

Sure, there are ways #1 could be reframed in an attempt to look like you’re doing better than you are . Let’s face it, we see this sort of shit in the ad industry all the time, especially around award time … but Phil Knight wasn’t about skewing results but going right at them … which is why he didn’t place any additional burdens on how to achieve goal, other than demand it was true to the sport and how NIKE see’s the athlete.

Sounds easy, but it isn’t.

To do that takes a lot of confidence.

Confidence in who you are … confidence in your team … confidence in what your company stands for and confidence your company is full of people who know what that translates to in terms of behaviour, consideration and action.

And that’s why we often undermine the value of confidence and right it off as bravado.

Of course it can be that, but it is also about trust, experience, knowledge and openness.

As a chef once told me when we were doing Tobasco research at W+K, “the more confident the chef, the less ingredients they use”

And that’s why I love the clarity of Phil Knight’s objective.

He could have added a million mandatories, but he knew that would add a million reasons why his objective would then be almost impossible to achieve.

At least in a realistic timeline.

Which is why, as difficult as the objective was, he increased its chances of success by being clear as fuck and – to a certain degree – open as fuck. Enabling the team to not just tackle the project head on – rather than tap-dance around politics and restraint – but to also place responsibility back on the company in terms of what it needed them to do to help make it happen.

Not just in terms of money, but action and change.

It is one of the many reasons why I loved my time in China … why I loved Branson’s brief for the Virgin lounge … why I love working for Metallica and Mr Ji.

Sure, in China’s case, it was often more the ambition and scale than the clarity … but for the others, it is/was the single-minded, stubbornness of their objective, the trust they placed in the people they were asking to help them do it, the commitment of the whole organisation to give it the best chance of making it happen and the willingness to walk away rather than accept a poor substitute of what they wanted to change.

We need more of that.

Creative work would be more amazing for that.

Effectiveness would be more powerful for that.

But sadly we’re in a world where it’s all about hedging bets, outsourcing responsibility and managing internal politics rather than being focused, fierce and open on creating change.

Proper change.

Real change.

Massive change.

It all kind of ties in with the ‘Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative’ talk Martin, Paula and I did in Cannes last year.

The obsession with playing to the process while being continually outsmarted by those who are focused on enabling the possibility.

And while some claimed we were being irresponsible, unrealistic and even unprofessional in what we were saying, the reality is we have – and are – in the incredibly fortunate position of working with brands/people who prove the most responsible way to create powerful and lasting change is not by hedging your bets, but being willing and open to fight for it all.

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