The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Pride Can Come Before A Fall, But It Can Also Make You Stick Things Out To Let The Impossible Happen So A Prick Doesn’t Win…

I have written before that apart from my friend Paul, I owe almost everything in my life to the fact I left the UK and went on an adventure.

Without that, I would not have met my wife … would not have had my son … would not have had my pets … would not be working with rock stars … would not have had all the life experiences and adventures I’ve been fortunate to enjoy and almost certainly would not have the career I currently enjoy.

That’s pretty huge when you think about it and while there’s a whole list of people I need to thank for making it all possible, one of them is an old boss.

Who was a prick.

I had a rather complex relationship with this individual.

Because while they were pompous, petty, condescending and rude, they were also smart, knowledgable and experienced.

On top of that, they gave me a shot on a couple of projects that they probably shouldn’t have. I should point out that wasn’t because they necessarily believed in me – it was more there was no one else to do it – but I appreciated it all the same.

Anyway, when I decided to leave – to go explore opportunities in another country – they were pretty pissed off with me.

While I’d love to say it was because they didn’t want me to go, the reality was they were frustrated I was leaving after they’d agreed to give me a payrise.

That this ‘rise’ was still below market rate and they’d fucked me around for literally 2 years, seemed to have completely slipped their mind … which is maybe why on the day I left, they thought it would be ‘funny’ to write the following comment in my leaving card.

“You’ll be back. Come crawling”.

I remember watching him going around telling people what he had written, laughing hilariously at his own ‘joke’ and while I didn’t take it too much to heart – because everyone knew he was a bit of a prick – it still hurt.

Little did I know then, how those 5 little words would play such an pivotal role in how my career would turn out.

You see, when I ended up in this other country, I initially found it very difficult.

Not just because I didn’t have friends, contacts or a job … but because my Dad was very ill back in the UK.

In all honesty, the temptation to go back was huge but there were 2 reasons I stuck it out.

1. I wanted to show my gratitude to my parents for supporting and encouraging me to go, despite them going through a terribly tough time because of my Dad’s major stroke.
2. Those 5 little words.

While I’d like to think the former was the biggest motivator, I fear it may have been the latter.

That’s pretty pathetic isn’t it … especially as I could have gone back without having to go back to that old job.

But I wasn’t going to let him have the satisfaction directly or indirectly.

And so I persevered.

Pushed, prodded, walked the streets, did shitty, temporary roles … anything that kept me from gaving to go back with my tail betweeen my legs.

And it everntually worked out.

Not because of any talent I did or did not have, but because of my perseverence.

And willingness to take any bullshit salary … hahaha.

But for me, getting a break was my main objective … because while I knew I was not the smartest strategst, I knew my work ethic meant I could out-work most.

Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that is a toxic trait – but it is my trait – and back then, it was a way for me to prove my worth to agencies/clients who didn’t have to give me a chance or keep me on board.

Of course, over the years, my motivation for continuing to explore the possibilities of the World and my career have evolved.

These days it is far more about wanting to feel I’d be making my parents proud than it is me reacting to 5 little words from a toxic, little manager.

But I also have to acknowledge that without that persons toxic motivation, it is unlikely I would be in the situtation I currently enjoy.

So thank you AC … you were a strange little man, but for all the fucked up shit you did – and there was plenty – you did one thing right, even if it was wrong.

And while I doubt you even remember me – let alone care what I’ve done – it doesn’t matter.

Because I didn’t come back and didn’t come crawling and so for that, I won, so there.

It’s Easter long-weekend that then leads into a big week for me/Colenso – from us hosting Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast to me saying goodbye [for the second time] to someone who is very special to me … so have a great weekend, overeat Chocolate and Hot Cross Buns and I’ll see you Tuesday.

Till then, this is for you AC.

With thanks.

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Thank God For Those Who Think The Unnecessary Is Worth It …

Over the last year, I have fallen in love with walking.

What once I considered a waste of TV/Gaming/Eating time, now I prioritise it.

I take client calls on walks.
I do team catch-ups on walks.
I do a lot of my work thinking time on walks.
Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

And the benefits of this approach to life are plentiful.

I’m healthier – physically and mentally.
I have a skin tone that no longer makes me look like an anemic Dracula.
And I have got to connect more to the places I live and work.

I am not suggesting in any way others need to be doing this, just highlighting how it has had a lifechanging effect on me.

But one of the things I have really got to appreciate with walking is seeing the communities and streets around where I live and how – every now and then – you come across something that makes me stop walking and stare.

This is one of them …

Someone did that.

Someone decided to do that.

To make a little part of the pavement, a jewel.

And I have no idea why … and I have no idea who … but I love someone did.

Not just because they took the time, but they thought is was worth the time.

And that’s the thing I worry about where we’re heading.

Because everything is seemingly evaluated and valued by greatest and fastest ROI.

We’re seeing companies do it with their endless mergers and acquisitions.
We’re seeing tech firms do it with their blinkered focus on optimisation over possibility..
And we’re seeing governments do it with their disregard of the arts in favour of business.

And while, of course, money is hugely important … when the impact and value on how society feels and interacts is disregarded, the economic benefit ends up being even more short-term.

Some people won’t care.

Some people are only focused on what they can get out of something rather than what they can give or enable for someone else.

Which is why I’m so grateful to whoever made this piece of literal street art.

Because it’s far more than just decorating a bit of the pavement, it’s a reminder of the choice we have. Because while the ‘economically functional’ may be easier, cheaper, faster and more convenient, its the stuff that you know is born from someone’s passion that leaves the most lasting impression.

Talking of passion, I’m away next week in one of my favorite places in the World, Vietnam.

[I say that, it all depends on what the doctors say about my eye at today’s check up. Eek]

It’s exciting for 3 reasons.

1. I’ve not been there for years.
2. It’s where I helped create the ‘4×4 on 2 wheels‘.
2. It means that after 3 months of pain, my eye is doing well enough to travel again.

And before you ask, it is for work – even though I get to see friends there at the same time.

So while I’m off experiencing the place with the most infectious spirit, unstoppable energy and relentless optimism in Asia, I hope you have a week finding and celebrating the things that may make no economic sense to an accountant but make so much sense to your soul.

Because in these days of beige and boring, creativity is not so much about art, but an act of rebellion on behalf of the human spirit.

See you in a week.

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The Early Bird Catches The Calm …
June 27, 2024, 7:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Asia, Attitude & Aptitude, China, Comment, Context, Culture

A few weeks ago, I had the most bonkers week of my life.

MY. ENTIRE. LIFE.

Of course, it involved China – where bonkers is a beautiful way of life – but it was at a level I could never imagine, let alone imagine I’d ever get to experience.

But it happened and it is something I will treasure and remember for the rest of my days.

But this post is not actually about any of that, it’s about this …

And this ….

I know … I know … it’s a photo of a man cutting a hedge and an empty road which sounds especially boring given this post started with ‘the most bonkers week of my life’.

But the thing is, of all the bonkers stuff that happened [taster: dinner-for-2 with a global superstar in LA, dinner with editors of GQ and Vogue China, asked to bring another global superstar to China, conversations with the head designers of some of the hottest street culture and luxury brands on the planet] those were 2 of the moments that made the biggest impression on me.

It was on my first morning in Beijing.

I woke up very early because of the time zone change.

And because I’m on a health kick, I got up to go out for a walk.

It was light as it’s summer there and as I left the hotel, I saw the guy cutting the hedge and it kind of stopped me in my tracks.

I know that sounds dramatic and over-the-top but it is true …

Part of it was because it triggered Sunday morning memories, where I would hear Dad – or one of the neighbours – cutting the grass. A sonic symbol of family, safety and happiness. A guarantee that whatever happened later in the day, it was starting in a good way.

But it was more than that …

It was the joy of seeing a city literally prepare itself for the day ahead.

And not just any city, but one that is crazy in terms of scale and volume.

Bustling with kinetic energy and possibility.

There was something exciting and reassuring seeing the city actively create the conditions for people to experience and live up to.

All bathed in the warm golden glow of a summer sun, rising to bake us all in its intense heat within an hour or two.

And yet it would be so easy to do none of it.

Let’s be honest, each day tens – if not hundreds – of thousands of people pass through this area and I’m pretty sure few ever notice it.

And yet they do it.

Every day.

OK, so the area I was in was ‘posh’ – full of luxury brands and retailers – so there is an ‘image’ to maintain, but it felt a real gift to be there at that moment.

To experience pride in a job well done and calm before the story.

To welcome the day rather than fear it.

To see the people who make it possible rather than the people who take it for granted.

And while I appreciate you may be fearing for my sanity at this point … the thing is, for a country that cops so much shit for what it ‘does wrong’ from people/media/politicians who often have never even been to the country, they understand the importance of the environment we live and work in far more than many of the places that like to present themselves as having all their shit together.

I know China has a lot wrong with it.

So does every other nation.

But while there’s a lot they can – and need – to do a lot better in, there’s some things, they do miles better than the so called ‘first world nations’.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Tomorrow we have the day off to celebrate Matariki.

It’s a very important day in New Zealand and if you want to know why, click here.

See you Monday.

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Don’t Drink While Writing Ads …

I have a history of working on clients I don’t really have a right to work on.

Sport.
High Fashion.
Female Haircare.

OK, so I have a real relationship with sport, but I think the reason I have been able to [even though I say it myself] be so successful with the other categories is that I get so into what I am working on. I get kind-of obsessed with learning and understanding everything about it and throw myself into reading all I can about the culture, history and category before I then interview everyone I can meet who is authentically connected to it.

No outsourcing to superficial focus groups … it’s about graft. Working with the people who create and push the category rather than those who simply buy the product.

It’s served me well – underpinned by clients who care about their audience rather than just see them as walking wallets and me being being self-aware enough to know my perspective is from an outsiders point of view, so I need to explore everything while assuming nothing.

I say all this because one of the other categories I’ve worked on that I shouldn’t, is alcohol.

Why shouldn’t I?

Because the last sip of booze that passed my lips was in 1985.

NINETEEN EIGHTY FIVE … so 39 years ago!

And yet over that time, I’ve worked on everything from Heineken, Guinness, Johnnie Walker and the development of Blackened, for Metallica.

Beer advertising in particular is fascinating because there tends to be 2 states:

Sponsored jokes or pretentious bullshit.

Now I get why it falls into these 2 states because client/agencies tend to either want to reaffirm their beer is ‘fun and social’ or ‘important and crafted’.

But for every Guinness Surfer, Carlton Draft Big Ad, John Smiths No Nonsense, DB Export Brewtroleum or going right back, Heineken Refreshes … there’s a whole heap of contrived, lifestyle rubbish.

Lazy headlines placed over generic Getty image photography.

One I saw recently was this from Tiger.

Now I appreciate the photo does not do it justice, but the headline reads:

Tiger Crystal.
Ultra Low Carb.
Extra Refreshing.

The reason this does my head in is two-fold.

First is you have to understand Tiger is very close to my heart.

Not only was it one of the first brands I worked on when I first moved to Asia, I also won the worldwide account – literally on my own – against 4 network agencies back in the early 2000’s.

Apart from that allowing me to work with some brilliant people on some brilliant assignments, it also resulted in Campaign Magazine featuring me on their front page in all my sweary glory, which is obviously a career high, hahaha.

But the other reason is that copy makes no fucking sense.

What the hell does ‘extra refreshing’ mean?

Oh I know how they’ll justify it …

With less carbs, the beer tastes even better to the drinker. Not literally, but emotionally.

And while there may be an element of truth to that … it doesn’t make it EXTRA refreshing. More drinkable maybe, but not extra refreshing. But here’s the thing, if it’s that good, why don’t they make ALL their beer like this?

Why don’t they bring their ‘extra refreshing’ premise to all their products?

I’ll tell you why, because it’s bollocks.

It’s lazy marketing … another example of vacuous superlatives being churned out to sound exciting without any thought, consideration or any excitement. An act of arrogance, demonstrating how important the brand thinks it is and how little they think – or understand – the audience they literally serve.

Now I appreciate some may say, ‘why does it matter, no one will pay much attention to it’?

And I get that … except that’s the point really.

Our job is to try and make people pay attention.

To give a shit.

They’re not going to think it changes their life, but they shouldn’t blindly ignore it.

It’s this sort of arrogance that demonstrates the lack of self-awareness that has permeated the industry. A blind belief that everything we do is great simply because we did it … despite the fact in the real world, all we’re doing is adding to the social landfill and social pollution of shit advertising.

Where is the pride in who we are, what we do and the intelligence of who we engage?

Where?

We’re so much better than this. And just to be clear, I’m not solely blaming whoever did this awfulness, it’s also the clients, procurement and ‘for profit’ research companies who created the environment where this ends up being deemed ‘worthy’.

I swear the biggest problem the industry has is every department and discipline has its own agendas and metrics for success.

There’s no alignment.
No agreement on what we want and need to make.
Just distain, distrust and self-interest.

Of course not everyone is like this – thank god – but if clients want to see the potential of their brand and agencies want to push the possibilities of their creativity, there has to be a moment where we stop hiding awfulness under the blanket of marketing justifiable rationales, because for all the NPS, system 1, best-practice approaches we may proudly shout about, there are two questions that trump all.

Is it true and does it make us give a shit?

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