The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Here’s To Truth In Advertising …

I’m back.

And – as usual – I found my heart in China.

I love that place so much. Literally love it.

It is arguably the only place in the World – and certainly the only place I’ve lived – where I feel I am able to breathe.

Obviously I mean that metaphorically [though they’ve sorted out the air, big time]… but the energy, the craziness, the extremes and the constant change bizarrely makes me feel calm, settled and at peace.

I don’t understand why – I get that’s bonkers – but it does and always has, and while I won’t ever live there again, I will find any excuse under the sun to keep going back.

For me, it’s more than a place I once had the honour and privilege of living … it feels ‘home’.

That does not mean I do like – or am not grateful – for all the other countries I’ve had the incredible opportunity to live in, but there’s something about China that I connected to on a level that is incomparable to anywhere else I’ve been. And while it is getting a bit too smooth, slick and convenient for my liking [haha] the people keep it real.

Amazing. Interesting. Dramatic. Smart-as-fuck.

I met some incredible people on this trip.

Not just old mates [who I kept bumping into on the street, which is something I’ve never done in Auckland, despite being a fraction of the population size and geography – haha] but some brilliant new people who I hope will become long-term new mates. And nothing sums this up more than the fact I was out all night.

ALL NIGHT.

TWICE!!! [Admittedly once was so I could listen to Forest play in Europe with the worst manager since Megson, Ange]

Jesus Christ, I’m 55 … I should be in bed with a Hot Chocolate by 8pm shouldn’t I?

But that’s the effect China has on me. I absofuckinglutely adore every single bit of it.

No doubt that statement will have my NZ/Australia/Singapore/HK residencies revoked, so we better move on … haha.

Not that long ago I wrote about a campaign we’ve just done for Delivereasy that reminds me of my beloved Viz ‘adult’ comic.

Well recently I got sent 2 photos of real-life businesses that seem to have adopted a similar approach …

First the most genuine ‘health and fitness’ ad in the history of health and fitness ads:

Quickly followed up by this masterpiece by a global – yet local – painter and decorator:

I love them.

Their magical and memorable.

Arguably more magical and memorable that many campaigns that have had millions and months of time spent on them.

Way back in 2007, I wrote about the power of ‘unplanned thinking‘.

Unplanned is when you go directly at the truth of a product – or audience perception – rather than play into the marketing hype machine. The point was that so many brands had stuck their head so far up their own pretentiousness arses, that rather than create aspiration with audiences, they were creating revulsion.

Unplanned killed that.

More than that, it killed it in a way that was refreshing, invigorating, distinctive and differentiated which – as a byproduct – meant it became more aspirational than an ad claiming a can of sugary fruit juice was in fact, a statement of discernment in a world of choice. Or some other bollocks.

And while I accept the examples above are one-offs, both are delivered in a way where I not just see the truth in them, I see the human in them as well – and as I’ve written a million times – the idea of interacting with real humans is far more interesting and enticing to me than engaging with yet another corporate monotone of a contrived mission statement.

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Why Parents Understand The Power Of Creativity And Strategy More Than Planners …

One thing I’ve always hated about my discipline was how so many liked to talk about curiosity like we are the only people to embrace it.

Not just in advertising, but across all humanity.

That said, curiosity has seemingly taken a backseat in terms of aspiration …

These days it seems we our desperate to feel/suggest we are the smartest people in the room.

That we can solve any problem given to us – regardless of category, culture or context.

As my old man used to say, ‘people who are desperate to let everyone know how smart they are, aren’t that smart’ … and right now, it feels like we’re drowning in those people.

I’m not saying they’re not clever, but they’re not as smart as they like to think they are.

Believing that because they’re good at one thing, they’re good at everything.

Researchers who think they know how to create great creativity … despite never creating anything. Strategists who think they know what people want … despite never spending any time with people. Creatives who think they can make any business successful … despite never running a business. Sure, I’m exaggerating the point to make the point [especially as there are a few people in each of the examples, who are the exception] but you get the idea …

You see it everywhere, especially on Linkedin.

That doesn’t mean they don’t have valid opinions.
That doesn’t mean their experience doesn’t have value.
But putting aside the people who literally have never achieved anything of note yet speak like they’re God … the moment you think only you have the answer and everyone else is wrong and ‘doesn’t get it’ then that’s when you’re become the beast you were meant to slay.

The reason for this rant is that I saw something recently that is so devilishly brilliant, it serves as a good reminder that just because we are paid to do a specific role in the marketing space, doesn’t mean we have the monopoly on good ideas.

This was it …

Evil? Yep.
Bad parenting? Possibly.
Smart thinking? Absolutely.

Of course, I’ve talked a lot about Chinese ingenuity over the years.

For a culture that often describes itself as practical rather than creative, it’s one of the most creative places I’ve ever lived.

Not just by the typical definitions, but in terms of business, food, innovation and motivation …

Sure, there are many examples where the approach taken is more about exploitation than liberation – which is true all over the world – anyone who has lived there for any period of time will know that far from being ‘behind Western standards’, in many ways they’re far ahead.

And while there are many things that have contributed to its momentum, its belief in ‘cumulative progress rather than the wait for perfect’ is a big part of it.

Back in 2007, I wrote about ‘unplanning‘.

In essence, it was about putting the rigor into ensuring you are removing all the unnecessary bullshit around an issue to identify the heart of the problem that needs solving.

The reason it was called unplanned, is because the solution – while creative as fuck – also felt obvious as hell, even though it only was able to be that because you’d trimmed off all the fluff and fat that often causes distraction and deviation.

Given we are surrounded by models, systems, pundits and egos all proclaiming to have the ultimate answer to every problem known to man – despite the fact many have never done anything of note and brands, creativity and the ad industry are losing their value, relevance and impact at an alarming rate – maybe the best thing we could do for our collective future is to stop looking inwards and start looking out, because there we are reminded creativity starts with how you think and see the world, not which property process you follow.

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The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …

Over the years, I’ve written a lot about collabs.

The good.
The bad.
The ridiculous.

But recently there has been one that has somehow achieved all three. AT ONCE.

That’s right, the glorious, overpowering flavor of Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Heinz mayo.

It’s the combination no one asked for … no one expected and no one imagined could work.

And it doesn’t, and yet it does.

It’s possible the unhealthiest and most unpleasant thing you could ever put in your mouth and yet – if you’re like me – and love Monster Munch, it’s something you could not possibly resist from trying.

Hell, when we moved to London back in 2018, it was literally the first ‘British’ food item I got Otis to try – literally the morning after we arrived – and the fact he liked them [at least he did, then] made me burst with so much pride, I could overlook his development of an American accent. Just. Check it out below..

But here’s the thing, similar to when the Absolut Disco Ball packaging made me buy alcohol, despite having not drunk anything since I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, this collab made me go to absolute lengths to get it into my hands.

You see you couldn’t buy it in NZ so I had to adopt different means.

I wrote to Heinz.
I joined their ‘fan club/DTC’ service.
I explored supermarkets in both America and Australia.
I contacted courier services about getting it and delivering it to me.

In the end, a plea on social media was answered by the incredible thoughtful Jestyn on Twitter/X … who not only got it for me, but sent it to me as well.

And while I would not get it again … the fact is I was not only more excited about it than 99% of brands out there, but I went to greater lengths to get my hands on it than I would for 99% of brands despite the fact I knew it was overtly bad for you and I’m Mr Healthy these days so I was perfectly aware that I’d only ever taste it once.

While there are many possible lessons we could learn from the creation of this, albeit, novelty product – be if fandom, communities or unexpected relevance – the real lesson is to follow, and then protect, the excitement.

The stuff that captures the imagination.
The stuff that changes the conversation.
The stuff that keeps people on their toes.
The stuff everyone keeps referring back to, even when logic tells them not to.

Because as Paula, Martin and I explained at our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk at Cannes back in 2023 … the greatest strategy doesn’t start from a place of logic, it finds the point of most excitement and works back from there.

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Forget Emperors New Clothes, It’s The Egg Salad Salesmen You Have To Worry About …

As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.

So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.

How awesome is it?

I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.

The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.

You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.

Of technological advancement.

Of commercial optimisation.

A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.

Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.

Except it wasn’t was it?

Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.

Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.

Not even in Japan.

And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.

Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.

Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?

Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.

An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.

Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.

Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.

Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.

Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]

Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.

Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.

However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.

I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.

We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.

Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.

Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.

Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.

The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.

Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.

Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.

Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.

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D2C. Direct To Commodity …

When I worked at R/GA, they got very excited about D2C brands.

Part of this is because they got a lot of business from brands who wanted their help to design the infrastructure for their D2C ambitions. Part of it was because they loved to talk about transformation and saw this as a major shift in brand development. And part of it is because a lot of their work – especially with NIKE – revolved around this type of thinking.

[Though I did laugh when a couple of their senior people in NY tried to convince me ‘Fuel Band’ was more valuable and important to NIKE than ‘Just Do It’ … and hated the fact I refused to buy their logic]

Look, I really liked R/GA – specifically the first year I was there – but I always felt the whole D2C approach was flawed. Didn’t have to be, but the way people/brands/companies saw it, made it that way.

When I at Wieden, P&G asked our opinion on the Amazon dash button.

They were massively excited by it as they saw it as a way to drive sales while being able to massively cut their marketing costs.

For those who don’t know what the dash button was, it was a piece of tech – connected to a specific item – that allowed customers to order from Amazon at the press of a button.

So if you spotted you were running out of washing powder, you could press the dash and within a day or so, you would get a new box delivered.

All good in theory except the only real winner would be Amazon.

And we told them that. Because the moment you let your brand become a commodity, your value is destroyed as is all the work you’ve put in to get into that position.

But that didn’t stop every man and their dog seemingly bang on about the virtues of D2C.

Nor did that make companies who had previously talked about the importance of brand, jump on the bandwagon.

And while some went on to achieve great success with this strategy – albeit, having to spend millions on building the brand value of their D2C org – the vast majority crashed and burned after, at best, a small moment in the spotlight.

That’s not to say new ideas are wrong – far from it – it’s to say that too much of the industry, despite what they may claim, are obsessed with the quick wins and short-term gains.

Worse, the reason for this is often less commercial and more egotistical.

A desperate need to look like they’re ‘in the know’ to those around them. A desire to be part of the cultural clique rather than risk being left behind by those who are skeptical, cynical or closed-minded.

I get it … no one wants to look slow or old or out-of-date and everyone wants a shot to elevate themselves up in collapsed time.

But as much as new ideas require a leap of faith – and that leap often takes a degree of courage – when it also requires you to let go of all you know and believe, then it says more about what you want to be than who you are.

Now of course, we all have our egos and ambitions – and that’s natural – but when your strategy to get where you want to go is chasing trends rather than following your values, that’s when you can find yourself in a whole heap of trouble.

Because following the pack without objectivity, values or context doesn’t make you an entrepreneur – it makes you an ambulance chaser – and once you have that reputation, you end up doing to yourself what D2C did to many companies … and that’s a position no one who claims to be ‘an expert in brands and brand building’ should ever find themselves in.

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