The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Sometimes, Your Biggest Competitor Is Your Blinkered Ego …

On one of my daily walks, I passed this …

For those who don’t know what the car is, it’s a Lotus.

Now once upon a time, this was a car brand whose name was synonymous with power, status, style and flair.

A marque of British engineering excellence.

However, for a whole host of reasons, it has fallen from the highs of being James Bond car of choice [The Spy Who Loved Me], to now being a small player in the Chinese conglomerate, Geely’s, staple of brands.

That said, if anyone is going to help it rise again – it’s them.

The reality is the Chinese car industry is incredible.

Innovative. Progressive. High standards and high quality.

This is not by accident, but design …

The Chinese Government see the car industry – specifically the electric car industry – as not only the pathway to securing China’s next chapter of China’s economic power, but also a way to reinvent how the World see’s China.

That and a powerful way to help address the environmental concerns of the country … which, despite what many Western nations like to say, has been a priority of China for a long time, which helps explain why they have been the biggest investor in green tech for years.

Anyway, all it takes is a notional look at the vast range of brands and models made by Chinese manufacturers and you’ll see how companies like Tesla are nowhere near as innovative as their Chinese competition – acknowledging, Musk’s mob are still innovative.

For example, because BYD makes the batteries that power their cars, it has enabled them to innovate in ways companies who have to buy batteries from other companies cannot hope to compete with … for example their new 5 minute ‘zero to full battery’ that they’ve just announced. Or you could look at Nio who have created a system where someone can drive their car into a change station – located across China – and have their low battery automatically changed for a full one in a matter of minutes.

Add to this that Chinese brands can offer their cars at prices that are often a fraction of the price of their inferior, Western counterparts – thanks to the scale they serve and the way they organize their operations – and the category is far more innovative than certain people would like to admit. [Or at least they could before Trump introduced his insane tariff ‘policy’]

I say all this because when I saw that Lotus – or should I say, Lamborghini Urus wannabe – I couldn’t help but feel that for all the innovation of Chinese car manufacturing, they are making a major mistake with how they are approaching the marketing of this car.

Sure it looks pretty good inside and out.

And sure, Chinese manufactured electric vehicles represent incredible value-for-money – at least in comparison to their Western equivalent counterparts – but I am not sure if painting ‘0% interest’ on the side is the best move for what they are trying to do.

Sure, they have to let people know about it.

Sure, 0% interest is a great selling point, especially in these financially challenging times.

But not only is the car still the equivalent of US$180,000 – which, by anyone’s standards, is a fuck-load of money … driving around with that message on the side basically is saying, “this is a car for people who want to look rich, but aren’t”.

Yes, I know rich people get rich by not spending money so 0% may be initially attractive, but this car isn’t designed for them.

If you’re truly rich, you’ll likely buy a Lamborghini or Ferrari … a brand synonymous for its craft, heritage and performance.

No, this car is aimed at the people who want to look the part without waiting or doing things to actually be the part.

The Andrew Tate brigade … the people who never want to be seen to be making ‘financially responsible’ decisions.

Not because they want to be broke, but because they don’t want to look like they have to worry about the money.

For them, life is all bravado, attitude and overt acts of power …

But what this smacks of is a brand who either doesn’t know who its audience is or doesn’t want to admit who they really are.

We had a similar situation at Wieden when we were working with Alfa Romeo in China.

We got fired when instead of reaffirming who they said their audience was, we told them who they really were.

They didn’t like that at all.

For them, they wanted to be driven by the young, rich and successful who were bursting with flair, style and a glamourous life. So you can imagine how they felt when we told them no one knew who they were and their biggest opportunity was to appeal to the ‘wannabe’s and fakers’ … individuals without the time, money or patience to do the right thing, especially when the illusion of it was available to them at a much lower price.

Of course we weren’t going to overtly position the brand that way, but it did mean our approach was going to attract those who chose to live that way.

Or it would have if they hadn’t dismissed us.

Similar to how the people of China went on to dismiss Alfa Romeo.

Which is a good reminder that in these days of increased competition, the biggest threat isn’t who you face … but the ego you’re constraining yourself by.

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The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …

Over the years, I’ve written a lot about collabs.

The good.
The bad.
The ridiculous.

But recently there has been one that has somehow achieved all three. AT ONCE.

That’s right, the glorious, overpowering flavor of Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Heinz mayo.

It’s the combination no one asked for … no one expected and no one imagined could work.

And it doesn’t, and yet it does.

It’s possible the unhealthiest and most unpleasant thing you could ever put in your mouth and yet – if you’re like me – and love Monster Munch, it’s something you could not possibly resist from trying.

Hell, when we moved to London back in 2018, it was literally the first ‘British’ food item I got Otis to try – literally the morning after we arrived – and the fact he liked them [at least he did, then] made me burst with so much pride, I could overlook his development of an American accent. Just. Check it out below..

But here’s the thing, similar to when the Absolut Disco Ball packaging made me buy alcohol, despite having not drunk anything since I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, this collab made me go to absolute lengths to get it into my hands.

You see you couldn’t buy it in NZ so I had to adopt different means.

I wrote to Heinz.
I joined their ‘fan club/DTC’ service.
I explored supermarkets in both America and Australia.
I contacted courier services about getting it and delivering it to me.

In the end, a plea on social media was answered by the incredible thoughtful Jestyn on Twitter/X … who not only got it for me, but sent it to me as well.

And while I would not get it again … the fact is I was not only more excited about it than 99% of brands out there, but I went to greater lengths to get my hands on it than I would for 99% of brands despite the fact I knew it was overtly bad for you and I’m Mr Healthy these days so I was perfectly aware that I’d only ever taste it once.

While there are many possible lessons we could learn from the creation of this, albeit, novelty product – be if fandom, communities or unexpected relevance – the real lesson is to follow, and then protect, the excitement.

The stuff that captures the imagination.
The stuff that changes the conversation.
The stuff that keeps people on their toes.
The stuff everyone keeps referring back to, even when logic tells them not to.

Because as Paula, Martin and I explained at our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk at Cannes back in 2023 … the greatest strategy doesn’t start from a place of logic, it finds the point of most excitement and works back from there.

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If You Want The Work To Lead You Forwards, Learn From Musicians Not Marketing Practice …

So we got through the first week of this blog in 2025.

Congratulations … we all survived and no one died. I think.

That said, the subject matters of the posts have been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster with things such as anger, frustration and loss. So with that in mind, I thought I’d end the week on a more positive tone.

Kinda.

One thing I have always actively rallied against is stringent strategic processes.

That doesn’t mean I don’t care about rigor or standards – obviously I do – however I don’t think that is demonstrated by blindly following a set process that has pre-determined what is or isn’t of value.

There’s 3 main reasons for this.

1. It automatically narrows and filters what can be used.
2. It ignores differing contexts, situations and categories.
3. You are actively stopping the chance for happy accidents and/or better answers.

It’s one of the main reasons I love working with artists, because at the end of the day – they are the creative – so for them, they determine success by what they FEEL is better rather than what the process tells them it is.

Nothing brought this home more to me than a scene in the documentary about the making of Do They Know It’s Christmas back in 1984.

Bob Geldof and Midge Ure had got together to write a song that they hoped would raise money for the starving in Africa. The single – launched in December ’84 – featured many of the up and coming posters of the era, ‘bullied’ into turning up by the irrepressible Geldof.

Over the space of a chaotic 24 hours, singers … duo … bands … all traipsed into SARM studios to record a song that had just been written and no one knew. Amazingly, there were few egos, with everyone focused on what they had to do, but it’s here that we see a brilliant example of letting the process play second fiddle to perfection’.

George Michael was at the mic and told how to sing his line.

He did it, but while sounding good, he felt it did not reflect the power he wanted to put into it.

So he suggested changing the intonation and sang it.

And he was right, it did sound better …

In fact, it became an iconic moment in the song.

But it might not have been if he was working with people obsessed with following the process than valuing what the process is supposed to deliver.

Fortunately, George was being produced by 2 other singers – and the incredible Trevor Horn, who owned SARM – who recognized that what they had suggested was no where near as good as what he had delivered. And so while it had an impact on how the following lines of the song were structured, they embraced it because ultimately, they knew it was better.

Have a look at this:

[As an aside, you should watch this fascinating interview where Geldof explains how self-awareness about his career meant he was uniquely positioned to identify the need and opportunity for the Band Aid single]

Now you may think this is obvious and I shouldn’t be making a big deal out of it.

And you’re right, it is … except we live in an age where too many companies focus more on the systems, processes and marketing practices than what they produce.

If you think I’m talking rubbish, ask yourself this.

Is there more conversation, debate and value placed on the process being put forward or the work delvered?

I would hasten a guess it’s the former.

It blows my mind.

As I said, process is important – but often its developed without any consideration to what it needs to create or change … blindly believing that if the process is ‘right’, then whatever comes out the other end must be too.

Which – as history and marketing has continued to prove – is bollocks.

Almost as bollocks as people sticking with whatever is made – even though they know it’s not as good as it could be – because ultimately they can point to ‘a process’ and outsource any responsibility of output to that.

How fucking cowardly.

But musicians don’t do that.

Musicians play for the song. Always.

Which is why they’re open to possibilities because the goal isn’t control, it’s expression.

Here are two other examples of it …

First Rick Rubin with his suggestion to Jay-Z on how to start 99 Problems

And Eddie van Halen, rearranging Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’ so the solo sounded better:

Let’s be clear here, Jay-Z is hardly a shrinking violet. Same for Jackson. And yet they were open to their guests making a suggestion because they [1] knew it was coming from a good place and [2] it was better.

How often does that happen in our line of work?

How often does someone with ZERO experience in a particular discipline tell someone with a track record how to do their job. How to make something better?

It’s why I laugh when people like Mark Ritson comment on what is/isn’t good creativity.

Don’t get me wrong, he knows a huge amount about marketing practice … he offers real value in developing important marketing 101 rules and behaviours, but he knows fuck all about creativity or innovation.

And I wouldn’t care a less if he didn’t bang on like he was God.

As I said, he is very smart and can make a huge difference to certain sorts of companies. But – despite what he likes to think – not all companies. And the reason why I will always value someone like Rubin more than Ritson is that Rubin plays for the work, not for his own ego.

Open to someone being better. Or smarter. Or just making a better idea.

Not because they don’t care about the process, but because they care more about what it’s supposed to deliver.

Musicians often get dismissed as ramshackle and chaotic.

But if you look at some of the approaches adopted by artists such as Bjork, Metallica, Miley, Travis Scott, ABBA, Radiohead, Dolly Parton, The Black Keys, Rihanna, Marillion, Kendrick Lamare, Prince, Queen, Def Leppard, Pharrell and a whole host more – covering everything from crowdsourcing, business models, brand extensions, distribution management, brand assets, copyright investment, differentiation and distinction, gaming, brand experience and overall innovation in communication to name but a few – you will see they have pioneered more business and communication approaches and practice than almost any of the brands and gurus out there. Or at least done it before most of them.

Part of that is because they’re driven by their need to express themselves with total authenticity. Part of that is because they’re very aware of the context they’re entering – rather than blindly thinking what worked before will automatically work again. And part of that is because the process stops when things outside the process offer something better.

Which is why if you want to increase the odds of making something truly special happen … think like a musician, not a marketing practitioner.

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Who We Are Is Not Who We Were …

A few weeks ago, I found myself wandering around Marina Del Ray, in LA.

It’s an area I know well given I both worked and lived relatively near the place a few years ago.

Anyway, as I was strolling around, I was looking at the boats moored along the marina. Be under no illusion, you need a bunch of cash to own a boat in LA and even more to be able to afford to keep it in a shared dock – but that’s the thing about Los Angeles, it’s a place of financial extremes.

There were all manner of boats in all manner of shapes and sizes … but the thing that grabbed my attention was their choice of names.

I love hearing what people call things.

Years ago, with cynic, we did a project with a video rental company [told you it was years ago] which included us exploring the ‘passwords’ people had on their account.

We didn’t know whose account it was – or the details of the recipient – it was just a list of random passwords. Anyway, it was pretty fascinating.

No random letters or numbers.

In fact, nothing approaching any level of security protocol whatsoever.

Instead, it seemed to be words that reflected a family ‘trait’, an individual’s alter-ego or something mischievous that the creator forgot would have to be said out loud to the store assistant every time they rented a film.

I say this because as I looked at the boats, there seemed to be a similar approach to its naming protocol.

Of course a boat name is very different to a password, but for all the choices you have, many seemed to fall into certain groups.

+ Reference to life on ‘the high seas’.
+ An individual persons name.
+ A sea-reference pun.
+ Or a mark of achievement …

… of which, none was better than this.

For those who can’t read it properly, it’s called, ‘Dream Worked’.

I have to say, I bloody love it.

Of all the names I saw, this was arguably the most honest.

A statement that whether through hard work, luck or other means … their ambition to own a boat in LA had come off.

They’d done it.

Hit the goal.

I wanted to meet the owner. To hear their story. To understand their journey.

Was the boat the prize or a byproduct of it?

Maybe my interest in the boat was because we all like a good news story. Or because I like learning how – and why – people do stuff. Or maybe it’s simply because I’m approaching that point in life where you’re running out of time for dreams to work and so you’re questioning what you’ve done or still want to do.

This is not in any way trying to say I’ve suffered.

If I’m being honest, the life I live is beyond anything I could ever have imagined or hoped for. Probably more than my teachers imagined for me too.

But despite being 54, I still have a lot of ambitions.

Things I want to do.
Things I want to try.
Things I want to see.
Things I want to achieve.

However – as I’ve mentioned many times – the older you get, the more you realise not only will you not be able to do all of them, you won’t even be able to pursue all of them. You have to be more focused with your energy and time. You need to prioritize rather than chase down every rabbit hole.

Frankly, that part of growing older is shit especially as I’m someone whose entire bloody life has been chasing the intrigue, the possibility and the creative opportunity. But whether I like it or not, I’m slowly learning how important it is to be more measured in my choices if I want to keep moving forward rather than standing still.

Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working at a different pace than before.
Sure I’ve had to accept I’ll be working from a different place than before.
But it means I don’t have to accept what others expect me to do and frankly, that’s all the motivation I need.

However despite all this, growing older in your career does ask questions of you.

Uncomfortable questions.

You realise your relevance in the industry you work in is reducing.

Your abilities haven’t – quite the opposite – but their desire to hear or work with it has.

And it can feel like you’re being left behind when you’ve got so much still to give.

Like you’re screaming in a vacuum that no one gives a shit about, hahaha.

A while back I saw a quote from an ex-footballer than summed this up perfectly …

I get it. We all will at some point …

It really forces you to question who you are and what you’ve done.

And how you deal with it defines where you can go with it.

So while it was more luck than judgement, I consider myself very fucking lucky that I fell into a new chapter of my life … where I have got to learn, express and discover how my creativity can be used in new ways with incredibly talented new people … the best and most successful of the best and most successful … who, despite all they’ve achieved, value what you do and bring far more than who you are and what you have.

I’m under no illusion it could all end tomorrow, but it’s going great right now and the stuff I’m getting to do and be a part of is not just creatively exciting, it’s allowing my creative ambitions to flex and be pushed.

To be able to do that at any age is awesome, but to do it at 54 – alongside rockstars, fashion gods and creative legends – is fucking incredible.

Which is why I realized – as I walked around those boats in Marina Del Ray – that if I had a boat, I wouldn’t call it ‘Dream Worked’ … it would be ‘The Dreams Working’ … because to be at this point of life and still be able to look forward and see exciting possibilities rather than just look back at what you’ve done, feels like the greatest achievement of all.

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As an aside, today is the 3rd annual ‘Fuck Off And Pie’ Colenso Planner Bake-Off competition.

A time where, contrary to this post, I am reminded I’m the biggest failure of all time.

Or should I say the ‘silver medal’ biggest failure.

I’ll let you know if I maintain this standard or – god forbid – achieve gold loser status.

Given this years theme is ‘birthday cake’ I’m in with a shot and to be honest I like what I’ve done.

Not just in the fact it tastes pretty good – no, seriously – but because I’ve created a design and theme that will never be forgotten. Especially by our HR department. And probably by my colleagues and team mates who run the risk of spending Christmas with gastro. The gift that keeps on giving. Cue: Evil laugh.

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