The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


When Coffee Leaves A Very, Very, Very Bad Taste In Your Mouth …

It’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant, but this is going to be one.

So if you need a peaceful start to your week, look away – otherwise strap yourself in.

One of my real worries for the future o f our industry is not AI … it’s our lack of seriousness.

Before I go on, there’s a couple of things I need to clarify.

First, I am not advocating we add even more process, systems, data and/or logic in what we do – frankly, they’re increasingly becoming an obstacle to both creativity and commerciality as they increasingly view audiences [or worse, ‘consumers’] as walking wallets and the only aim is to bombard them at the moment of potential transaction.

Neither am I suggesting we should be treating all we do like we’re saving the planet with high-concept art. There may be cases where this approach is the right approach … but when I say a lack of seriousness, I mean it in terms of how we think about what we do, more than what we actually create.

For years, the ad industries ‘piece de resistance’ – The Super Bowl – has been a car crash for advertising and marketing. An endless stream of contrived, unsubtle – and often, unfunny – sponsored jokes that feature a production line of celebrities who are all willing to destroy their legacy for a dump-truck of cash being poured into their retirement pension plan.

It’s so depressing.

Sure, every year there’s one – maybe two – ads that really stand out. This year, for me, it was Manscaped … an ad that didn’t feature a celeb, had an actual idea and was actually related to the product they make. But even then, was it up there with 1984 … or Born of Fire? Probably not, but it was fun, memorable and – while not related to the Super Bowl per se – was made for the Super Bowl audience’s entertainment. As was Coin Base’s ‘karaoke’ spot … which, in terms of understanding the Super Bowl ‘ad break’ context they were in and the typical US audience mindset in that context … was a clever idea.

Look, I get how much pressure is in a Super Bowl spot. I’ve been there. It’s a fucking nightmare. There’s an almost endless amount of pressure placed on the work as every-man-and-their-dog adds more judgement, demands and mandatories … fearing their multi-million-dollar investment will be negatively judged by a global audience. And they’re right to worry about that … except the one thing they all seem to forget is the ad agency knows how to write and craft a spot better than all the C-Suite execs put together, so maybe if they let them get on with it, they’d have a higher chance of their work being loved rather than [at best] ignored or [at worse] openly mocked for how bad, contrived and/or embarrassing it is – thanks to either a terrible story/idea, endless and meaningless product features being crammed into the spot and/or the huge pointers in the script to make sure audiences get the gag, because they think people may be too stupid to get it. [When it’s more because they just won’t care]

All this data. All these systems. All this marketing science. And we’re actually getting worse.

And while I appreciate ad agencies have a lot to answer for, they’re not the only reason for this decline – but we’re not allowed to say that are we? Oh no.

We’re not allowed to talk about the impact of procurement departments.
We’re not allowed to talk about the lack of respect for marketing in companies.
We’re not allowed to talk about the dehumanization of people in the research.

And while you may think my tone is being influenced by it being a Monday morning, you’d be wrong – because it has nothing to do with it being the start of the week and everything to do with this:

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the actual fuck!?

And no, it is absolutely NOT an April Fool joke … which would still be bad, but make some sort of sense.

I thought the Ritz Cracker ad at the Super Bowl was possibly the worst thing I had ever seen [and if you haven’t seen it, I am so envious of you] … but I was wrong.

Who came up with this?

How the hell did it get through the endless committees, hierarchies and research?

And why – given the big PR announcements – are they so bloody proud about it?!!

Hell, even the infamous Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad had the good grace to only be tone-deaf and stupid for 40 seconds … but this? THIS???

It actually makes me angry. Properly angry.

Angry our industry is associated with it – even though it smacks of something an internal group at the client came up with or an outside agency who wanted to pander for more business. Angry they will claim this shows how much they ‘understand their customers’. Angry they think they’re sooooo clever and smart for it. Angry that an agency either came up with this or didn’t speak up about this. And angry this is what marketing has become.

Sure, we’ve all suggested some radical [read: daft] ideas down the years.

Name changes.
New product variants.
New category extensions.

But more often than not, they’ve either been killed or they’ve been done with a lot more care, craft and reality than this.

Maxwell Apartments?!
Maxwell fucking Apartments?!
What I find even more confusing is that the owners of Maxwell House – Kraft Heinz – have been so bloody good with their communication over the past few years – or at least Heinz have – which is why whoever sold this [or mandated this] should be both promoted and fired all within the same meeting.

And while I’m sure there’s some people out there that think I am being a snob … I have 5 things I want to end this post with.

1 I understand there may be reasons for this work only those involved would know and – if made public – may help explain why this approach was undertaken. [see: Mouldy Whopper]

2 I understand good intentions don’t always turn into good work for of a million different reasons. [So while I get my hatred may sting, it’s because I know no one intended this to happen]

3 I understand different cultures/audiences have different tastes and maybe I’m not either of them. [Though I did work on Maxwell House at Wieden, so I am aware of the brand and its audiences]

4 Ideas tend to represent the standard of creativity, company, colleague and agency that you’ve been exposed to in your life, and this one smacks of people blinkered by data, inhibited by corporate politics and/or residing in an echo-chamber bubble.

5 And finally – if you think I’m being an asshole – maybe if I tell you how I found out about this idea, you’ll realise I’m trying to encourage us to aim higher, because not only does our industry need it, I know we are more than capable of doing it. You see, I learned of this work – which has been in market since Sept 2025 – from watching a ‘news blooper’ … a news blooper where the TV presenters found it so fucking stupid, they couldn’t stop laughing at it. On air. That’s right, people who are paid to keep a neutral face – whether announcing the best or worst of humanity – couldn’t keep a straight face about this. Not because they loved it, but because they were openly mocking it.

Maybe it made sense at the time.

Maybe everyone involved was suffering an unknown illness.

Or maybe they need better people or a better work culture where this sort of thing can be stopped because people can speak up without being put down so you don’t make newsreaders and the World think you’ve left them with the worst possible taste in their mouth.

Comments Off on When Coffee Leaves A Very, Very, Very Bad Taste In Your Mouth …


If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

Comments Off on If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …


Making Extra Dough Out Of Bread: The Commercial Value Of Repurposing And Making Old, New Again …

Isn’t it funny we talk so much about the environment, and yet we are producing more stuff that fucks the world than ever before?

That said, while companies aren’t great at living up to what they state – humans tend to be far better.

One of which has been our ability to find ways to make food last longer than intended.

Whether that’s been creating mustard to disguise the taste of potentially ‘off’ ingredients through to making stale bread into bread and butter pudding, we’ve always found ways to stretch things out.

Of course, the ultimate nation for food maximization is China.

Now, part of that is because during the Great Leap Forward, people were starved/starving and so were forced to eat anything they could to survive. However, while that time is well gone, the attitude of ‘waste not, want not’ has remained which is why there’s so many recipes across the region that utilize a nose to tail philosophy.

Literally.

I say this because I recently saw Marks & Spencer’s [M&S] in the UK be a bit smart with their sourdough bread.

It’s this.

Good eh?

Rather than chuck the bread out as it starts to go stale … shove loads of garlic butter in them, place them in a fridge and flog them as mouthwatering garlic bread you just have to heat-up before shoving down your throat.

OK, they could have given it to the needy rather than find another way to take every last penny from their customers, but it’s still devastatingly simple. And smart.

They’ve also launched a range of ‘minimal ingredient’ food … which is clever for a whole host of reasons. The first being the increased awareness and desire for preservative free food. The second being it goes off faster, so there’s a good chance people will end up having to buy more when their best intentions to eat it gets scuppered with life etc. Given it is probably even more expensive than the preservative counterpart – I know, paying a premium for less, classic capitalism – and everyone can kinda win with this.

To be fair, I’ve always been quite impressed how supermarkets innovate – they’ve done far more and in more ways than most organisations – but while ‘pre-packaged’ garlic bread is not a new thing [though garlic sourdough loaves is a whole other level] … as is finding new ways to extend old/ugly food … it’s still a perfect example of creative thinking.

It’s also a lesson to the ad industry on how to sell creative thinking.

Because for all the systems, processes, charts and models we love to bang on about, the key seems to be much simpler.

Solve a real problem. [Opportunity]
Show why people will really pay for your solution. [Benefit]
Make it easy-as-fuck for them to buy [Action]
[including what they have to do at their end to make it happen]

I say this, but I bet there’s still strategists and agencies out there who would still write a 305 page deck to explain this idea …

As I have said before, if the solution feels more complicated than the problem, why the fuck do we expect anyone to do it?

Comments Off on Making Extra Dough Out Of Bread: The Commercial Value Of Repurposing And Making Old, New Again …


We All Are Going In Our Own Directions …

Without wishing to sound like a stalker – or a pervert – but I recently spotted this couple walking down Ponsonby Road …

I don’t know who they are.

I never saw their faces.

I only was behind them for a matter of seconds.

But in that time, they made a huge impression on me.

The togetherness.
The lazy pace of synchronicity.
The fact they were heading somewhere only they knew.

So much of our industry is focused on what we want people to do or think … and so little time is spent on where people are at in life. Everyone has their issues, concerns, hopes and ambitions – and yet, too often, that’s seen as unimportant or inconvenient.

We – and by that, I mean research companies as much as advertising agencies – talk about ‘understanding people’, but what we really mean is we understand what clients want to hear. So we churn out an endless stream of characteristics that both say everything about anyone as well as nothing.

Robots more than humans.

The thing is, one of the greatest things about the creative industry is are ability to emotionally impact millions.

How to make them feel … not just think.

And yet every model, system and process I see being promoted on platforms and websites doesn’t talk about this.

In fact, it actively filters this sort of thing out … instead, it talks about ‘identifying the optimum trigger and moment to drive the purchase decision’.

What. The. Fuck.

We wonder why our industry is not as influential as it once was?
We wonder why influencers can impact audiences more than a multi-million media plan?
We wonder why artists can reach and impact audiences without any marketing budget, knowledge or skills?

There’s a simple reason.

We don’t spend enough time caring about this couple.

Who they are.
What’s important to them.
What they’re working towards.
What people misunderstand about them.
When was the last time they felt happy. Or helpless.

All we care about is how we can reach them with ‘efficient and convenient sales messages that convey the key functional reasons for purchase consideration. Never once realizing the real problem is they don’t give a fuck about what we’re saying because all we’re doing is shouting what we want them to care about rather than understanding what they actually care about.

Or need.

So next time you get a brief – or write one – that describes an audience as, ‘urban dwelling, white collar employees who take what they do seriously but don’t take themselves seriously’ ask yourself one thing.

Are you about humanity or commercial landfill?

Which just leaves me with a message to the people in that photo.

Thank you for being an important reminder of what we’re brilliant at and what we’re here to do.

May you have a brilliant life together. Whoever you are. Wherever you go.

Here’s to you continually walking towards wherever you want to go together.

Comments Off on We All Are Going In Our Own Directions …


The Secret Of Success For People Starting Out …

As we approach the end of the first month of 2026 – and I have to be up very, very early – I thought I’d drop this now and end ‘January’ on a rant. Except it’s a rant of hope, rather than pain. Maybe – hahaha.

Life is tough.

It’s demanding, challenging and expensive.

Some are dealt a very good hand, most have to deal with what they’re given.

It’s because of this, we look for things that let us feel we’re doing something right.

It might be putting food on the table.
It might be buying fashion or tech.
It might be progressing your career.

I am not here to judge anyone on that, we’re all dealing with our own shit and what gets us through, gets us through.

However, where it does bother me, is how this is increasingly being presented on platforms like Linkedin.

When I look there, it feels the ambition is to achieve ‘ultimate professional clout’.

Now I get ‘clout’ is old terminology … but it seems to capture the attitude of many, perfectly.

Be THE leader.
Be THE role model.
Be THE most popular.
Be THE judge of what matters.
Be THE most successful person.

To be honest, I find it all a bit repulsive – especially as it seems to be all about celebrating attitude, behaviour and bravado over anything more tangible and meaningful – but again, if it works for them so be it. After all, this need for pedestal posturing is hardly a new phenomenon, as I wrote about it – albeit not related to Linkedin – way back in 2012.

However, where it does become a problem to me is in terms of the message it sends out to the upcoming colleague.

Especially the next gen of marketing/advertising colleague.

In some ways, they’ve got their shit much better worked out than I ever did – as demonstrated by the ‘great resignation’, that was really the ‘great reset‘. However, as I wrote not that long ago, there’s a hell of a lot of people out there who think ‘success’ is far more about acting like a ‘thought leader’ than doing and making stuff that makes people think.

It’s not their fault.

The platforms celebrate it.
The industry champions it.
The companies promote it.

Hell, the only training companies seem to do these days is generic, one-size-fits-all approaches everyone does … so they’re designed to make you fit in, rather than develop you to be able to stand out.

Which is why I want to sound the oldest fuck in the entire universe by leaving anyone thinking of working in my industry with this.

The marketing and advertising industry can be an incredible place. It has given me a life I could never have imagined. I’ve been able to work, collaborate and learn from people all over the World who are unbelievably talented and creative. It has provided me with chances and opportunities that have allowed me to expand who I am, without demanding I change who I am. And while I started in it before many of you were even born, it is still possible. Not easy, but still possible.

But while it is understandable you want to feel you fit in. While it is understandable you want to move up the ladder as quickly as you can. While it is understandable you want to increase the chances of success. While it is understandable you think you have loads of time to do all you want … the way to achieve it is not the way you are being told by everyone else.

Because the secret to this industry is to live the fullest life you can.

Not your work life, but your life. And there’s one major reason for that …

Because creativity – whether we’re talking about strategy, production, media, account management, design – is born, nurtured and crafted through your exposure to experiences.

The people you meet.
The places you go.
The stories you hear.
The concerts you see.
The food you eat.
The books you read.
The museums you visit.
The history you learn.
The lessons you try.
The shit you get up to.

Because all of it – every single bit – somehow comes together and help forge YOUR opinion, rather than mimic everyone else’s.

Basically, the bigger the life, the more you’ll breed your own originality, independence. ideas, craft and voice.

Please note I’m not saying you can just piss about and it will all work out. While openness and spontaneity has a role to play, it’s a deliberate act. You are making a conscious choice. Because whoever you are … growing, learning, expanding and just doing fun and interesting shit takes a lot of hard work.

That doesn’t mean I’m saying you should work all hours in the office, but by the same token, you shouldn’t have the attitude you’re only going to put in effort to better yourself when someone is paying you for it. Sure, companies should absolutely be helping people develop outside of their generic, outsourced, annual training program … but if you don’t want to aid to your own development – by that, I mean exposing yourself to the biggest life you can [as detailed above] – then you’re not denying your potential, you’re undermining it and, without wishing to sounds a total prick, you deserve what you won’t get.

Which is why, if you read only one thing I ever write – and I’ve written a fuckton about this sort of thing over the 19+ years I’ve been churning out this blog – it’s this.

The secret to success is defining it on your terms, not on the Ranters of Linkedin™.

Here is the model on how to get there …


Comments Off on The Secret Of Success For People Starting Out …