Filed under: Corona Virus, Dad, England, Family, Italy, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Otis
So on Sunday, it would be Mum’s 92nd birthday.
Now of course, she has been gone 9 years … however despite that, I still feel deeply connected to her birthday so for me, that number still feels very real to me.
I often wonder what life would be like if she was still here.
I say that, because had she still been alive, I don’t think we would be in NZ.
When COVID happened, we would have brought her to us in London … so she would be kept safe, cared for and loved.
I would imagine it would have been quite the challenge to get her to agree because she was always fiercely independent … but apart from the fact Otis would have been the major draw card, the fact is that towards the end of her life, she had accepted she needed some help. Not much, but a little. Even if that was just so she had someone to talk to every now and then, despite loving her own company.
And if that was the case there is no way we would have left the UK.
If anything, we would have been more likely to move to Italy … so she could be back in her homeland, near her sister and nieces.
Not that she would have expected us to do that – oh no, she was adamant I had to live my life, not look after hers – but that was a [gentle] tension we endured throughout our time together.
Her wanting to look after me by never demanding anything of me.
Me wanting to look after her by being protective and supportive.
Fortunately, towards the end we had found a calmness in how we dealt with it.
She’d accept what I sent her, and I’d accept she’d do nothing with any of it. Hahaha.
I know that might sound like some weird kind of ‘truce’, but it worked for us and I presume many other families work in a similar way. Acceptance, compromise and convenience … not because it ‘keeps the peace’, but because ultimately, you know the other person is doing it with love, even if it’s not exactly as you wish/hoped they’d act.
My Mum was the master of seeing the love.
Or dealing with challenges with love.
I can’t help but feel we’d all be better off if we followed her way of living rather than the self-serving, myopic, populist, egotism that the world is riddled with these days.
While I’m glad Mum didn’t have to endure the challenges of COVID, I’d have been so happy if it had meant she would be with us. I’ve written before how one of the worst of times was – thanks to my huge privilege – very special for me. By that, I mean in terms of COVID allowing me to be with my family 24/7.
They may have been sick of it, but I utterly loved it. Treasured it even.
But the reality is Mum had died years before, which meant NZ became a real option for us. And what a move it has turned out to be for the family. And while we won’t be here forever, we have valued and enjoyed every minute … which is why on top of thanking Colenso and the country for making it what it is [which is Otis’ FAVE EVER country, hence I’m going to ruin his life again one day in the not too distant, but not close, future] I also need to thank my Mum for kinda making this happen.
Or said another way … thank her for looking after my best interests even when I don’t fully realise that until later.
What a human. What a Mum.
Happy Birthday Mum, I love you.
Big hugs to you and give Dad a big kiss from me.
Filed under: 2023, Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Cannes, China, Colenso, Colleagues, Comment, Context, Corona Virus, Creativity, Culture, Dad, Daddyhood, Death, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fashion, Fatherhood, Holiday, Individuality, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Martin Weigel, Mum, Mum & Dad, Music, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Nottingham, Nottingham Forest, Otis, Paul, Paula, Peace, Prejudice, Relationships, Relevance, Resonance, Revenge, Review, School, Shanghai, Travel, Trust, Truth
So with all the focus on Otis’ 9th birthday, I only just realized this is going to be the last week of this blog for this year. Which means you get a month off and then – when I come back – I will be entering year number 18 of writing my rubbish.
EIGHTEEN YEARS.
An adult.
And will my posts reflect that maturity?
Errrrm, probably not.
In fact a while back, I got called ‘immune to maturity’ by Metallica’s management which they quickly followed up with, “… and I bet you think that’s a compliment.”
That’s why we’re still working together after 7 years … we understand each other so well, ha.
2023 has been an interesting year for me.
Definitely more highs than lows.
In many ways, it has been a standout year for me – both personally and professionally.
I feel almost embarrassed to say that. I totally appreciate how many people are suffering right now. I have friends in tough places and there’s those dealing with everything from mental health challenges through to terrifying conflicts … which just reinforced how privileged and lucky I am.
For the first time in my life, I started this year with a resolution, and it was to say ‘yes’ to everything I was asked to do.
I don’t know why I decided to do that – maybe it is because for all of NZ’s magic [of which there’s tons] it can sometimes feel a pretty isolated, inward-focused place – so to counter that, I decided 2023 was the year of yes and I got to do a lot of that.
Saying yes let me travel literally around the world for work … including some countries/cities I’d never been to in my life. [Not to mention, having the gift of visiting my childhood home again, even though I burst into tears when the lovely new owner opened the door, haha]
I got to speak at a bunch of ace conferences. from Cannes – with my mates Paula and Martin – the magnificent State Of Social in Perth right through to the WWD World Fashion Conference in China [with the incredible Phoebe Philo and, bizarrely, being interviewed by Fashion TV] with a whole bunch in-between.
I was a guest speaker at a bunch of institutions from Cambridge University, the Ecuadorian Advertising Federation right through to the House of Prada.
I got to be part of some incredible creative projects. From the huge: helping design the 72 Seasons world tour stage set for Metallica. The cheeky: offering the All Blacks rugby coach a free curry for a year if he brought home the World Cup, then taking away his naan bread because he didn’t. To the most awarded: watching the wonderful fools at Colenso pick up Gold gongs and Agency of the Year title’s all over the place.
Top that off with seeing 3 members of my team become parents for the first time [and another about 3 months into that magical journey] and to see the 3 newbies from overseas not only fit in with the gang like they were here for years, but make an even bigger difference than I hoped – and you can see why I feel it has been a hugely satisfying year for me professionally.
But it’s the personal side that made it truly memorable.
First of all, we’re all happy and healthy. Like properly happy and healthy.
Then, for the first time in 7 years, we had our first proper family holiday. And while It did not last long in terms of duration, the glow still is with me months later. Yes, I appreciate that sounds more sickly than being force fed 5047389 sticks of candyfloss, it’s true.
Jill started her new company, Tiny Riot … a jewellery company dedicated to say the words women feel, but don’t always want to say out loud. She also felt she had found her peeps … letting her feel she was part of a community she loves and thrives in. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me, especially as we know we’ll no doubt be moving to another country in the not too distant future, hahaha.
Just to be clear, that has not been decided yet, we just know it’s coming … especially as we’ve already lived in NZ longer than we have lived in the last 4 countries we have been in. But I digress …
Which leave Otis …
Brilliant, wonderful, fantastic Otis.
Well, he has flourished and blossomed this year.
From seeing his mates network evolve and develop … with their own codes, games and slang … through to watching him throw himself into new activities, like tennis and swimming, yoyo’s and messing about with Roblox, Reels and video games … to seeing him love his budgie, Sky [which he made me a t-shirt to wear on the Cannes stage to ensure I admitted I cared for it as much as Rosie, ha] and then of course, watching him deal with his dysgraphia diagnosis with positivity, openness and conviction.
Given I have seen adults literally burst into tears when they had to move desks at work – true story – seeing an 8, now 9 year old – embrace a challenge that will affect him for the rest of his life with understanding, openness and a desire to not let it define him or make excuses for him is honestly one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever had the privilege of witnessing.
[I also have to add Forest staying in the Premiership was a highlight, because while Jill and Otis may not like to hear it … that team are family to me, hahaha]
But of course, you can’t have good without bad and there’s been a couple of things that have shaken me deeply.
One in particular made me question everything I thought I knew and could rely on.
The impact it had on me was – and still is – huge. I would say it has been the most emotionally confronting situation I’ve experienced since my parents died. It has been that big.
What makes it even worse is that in reality, I may never really get over it as the impact affects me and my family for the rest of our lives.
And we’re the least affected in this situation.
It has taken me months to try and come to terms with what has happened … to try and accept things I thought I knew and could rely on, have failed.
If truth be told, I’m still working on it … because while I appreciate life can take unexpected turns, it’s why – and how others deal with it – that determines how you feel about it and in this case, they are the things that ended up being disastrously dealt with.
Which is why 2023 can never be seen as a spectacular year for us, merely a very good one.
And as I said, that is still a hugely positive outcome given so many are suffering in ways that make my pain seem insignificant.
Which is why I was so impacted by some graffiti that someone I vaguely know, told me about.
It’s this …
… they’re not wrong.
Which is why, while I know 2024 will face it’s challenges – especially with the US election and the likelihood America will lose its mind and vote for Trump [while acknowledging the Democrats have failed to find and develop a single worthy candidate in 4+ years] – I hope by this time next year, more people can say they had a more positive than challenging year because the World needs it. Because for all the hell that Covid subjected the planet too, the anxiety created by people [read: old, white men] who feel entitled to do and have whatever they want is arguably, even worse. And without wanting to sound like a hippie … some peace would be nice.
I know no one will have read this far, but then this is not for you … but I can assure you the last 3 posts of this week won’t be as indulgent, not for your sanity, but because I can’t be arsed to write so much rubbish again.
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, China, Chinese Culture, Comment, Content, Context, Corona Virus, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Design, Differentiation, Distinction, Effectiveness, Emotion, Entertainment, Environment, Fashion, Imagination, Individuality, Innovation, Leadership, Management, Marketing, Metallica, Perspective, Point Of View, Positioning, Resonance, Respect, Shanghai, Strategy, Technology
I appreciate the title of this post sounds dodgy.
Not to mention that photo. Let’s face it, me and fashion are hardly bedfellows.
But that photo [which is real, by the way] is to celebrate that next week I’m in China to attend the WWD World Fashion Summit.
I know … I know … it all sounds like I’m making something up so I don’t have to write any blogposts next week, but it isn’t.
I am an invited guest at one of the fashion industries most important conferences.
Of course it’s not because of how I dress, but for the work I do for one of my clients … the godfather of global street culture and the founder of the most successful, progressive and innovative luxury [contemporary and street culture] retailers on the planet: SKP and SKP-S.
I wish I could talk more specifically about the work I’ve done for him over the past 3+ years … because it has been some of the most creatively rewarding, commercially informing and artistically collaborative times of my career.
Put simply, he is one of the most audacious people I’ve ever had the privilege of working with.
Even François-Henri Pinault – the CEO of Kering – calls him one of fashions greatest pioneers.
And he is …
Hell, when I met him, one of the first things he said to me was:
“I want people to get used to living on another planet, because one day – based on how we keep treating this one – they’re going to have to do just that”.
Sure, it’s the words only a billionaire can say, but who wouldn’t be captivated by that?
But he’s not crazy …
In fact, the more time I spend with him, the more I recognise his genius.
I could write a 1000 blog posts about what I’ve learned from him …
What real entrepreneurship is.
What true conviction in your beliefs means.
What category disruption and innovation really looks like.
What you do to ensure luxury embraces the influence of street culture.
But that’s maybe for another day. What I will say is that despite being one of the most important and influential figures in fashion, he also loves his anonymity – preferring to make statements through the work he does … from pretty much every up-and-coming street culture brand you can point a stick at … to helping build the next-gen of fashion icons like Fenty and Gentle Monster through to building the most brilliantly bonkers [and most profitable luxury store on the planet] SKP and SKP-S.
[To give you an idea of how bonkers, their new offering in China, features a tapestry of gardens – designed by the architects of The High Line, in NYC – that is ¾ of a mile wide. And the reason they were able to do that is because all the infrastructure has been placed beneath ground, so it’s invisible to the naked eye until you are in the place. And if you think that’s bonkers, every location is wildly different in look and theme … but connected by a unifying story that’s more Marvel than BusinessWeek.]
But if that wasn’t enough, I get to go back to China.
The last time I was there, was Jan 3rd 2020 … just before COVID closed the World.
I think everyone knows what China means to me. It is the most special place in my life.
Yes, I know there’s a bunch of fucked up stuff that happens there, but there’s a bunch of fucked up stuff that happens everywhere … and in my 7+ years of living in Shanghai, I can honestly say I was blessed with generosity, friendship and acceptance.
It’s why I am proud Otis was born there.
It’s why I will challenge any prejudice or ignorance spoken about there.
It’s why I am so happy that I get continue to work with clients who are based there.
Of course, I know a lot will have changed in the intervening 3 years.
We used to say that the speed of China was so fast, that it was like a new generation was born every six months. And while it’s not anywhere like that now, it’s still more dynamic than most countries … which is why it makes perfect sense to hold one of the most important global fashion conferences there.
For all the ‘superficiality’ people say about fashion, I can honestly say that the more I’ve spent deep in the industry, the more inspiring I’ve found it.
The craft.
The imagination.
The focus on society, art and design.
The openness to different influences and ideas.
The desire to continually explore, imagine and challenge.
Or said another way … the stubborn commitment to allowing creativity to thrive, wherever it may take you.
Like with Metallica, this client has invited me to places I never even knew existed, let alone ever imagined I could be.
Magical people … imaginative ideas … insane possibilities …
But what’s made it even more amazing is they have asked me collaborate with these people and ideas … to find new ways to allow creativity to flourish – be it architecture, robots or writing stories that unite different worlds in different ways.
I appreciate it sounds like I’m bragging.
I guess I am.
But the reality is it’s more shock and gratitude.
I do think I am good at what I do, but to have all this – especially at my stage of career – does feel like I’ve won some sort of creative lottery.
And in some ways I have.
But the prize is not simply the work – or the cash – but the reminder …
Because the ad industry often sees creativity only through the lens of ads.
Oh sure, we’ll talk about craft and design, but it tends to always be in the context of communication.
Hell, we bang on about ‘big ideas’ when all we’re really talk about is big ‘advertising’ ideas.
There’s nothing wrong with that … advertising is creative and important.
But creativity is more than ads.
It has the power to shape and influence.
To create new meaning to old things and ignite deep emotions in the new.
It values culture and imagination far more than media channels and eco-systems … which results in the work being far more than ‘packaging’ for selling stuff, but creating the things that are worth buying.
I love the industry I work in. It has given me a life richer than I could ever have imagined. But somewhere along the line, it seems we love everything but the thing we’re supposed to love. Distracted by terminologies and techniques that – ironically – makes more things the same than different.
But fashion isn’t like that.
My client isn’t like that.
Which is why – you will understand – I’m so happy I won’t be here to write any posts for another week.
For once, your gain … is also mine.
So until the week after next, have fun. I know I will be.
Filed under: America, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Authenticity, China, Content, Context, Corona Virus, Creativity, Culture, England, Environment, Government, Perspective, Social Media, Technology
So I’m back.
I had a lovely time and Croatia is proper beautiful.
I know that’s a big call given I spent 2½ days there, the rest travelling, but it was.
God I miss travelling.
You’d think after almost 20 years of basically living on an airplane, I’d be over it … but there’s something so magical visiting new places and meeting new people.
Of course the environment is even more important – and COVID has shown we can do a lot without having to be in the same room – however being in another country and culture is a powerful and important experience. Especially given all the nationalistic bullshit going on … so having people engage with each other in different environments and geographies – rather than just stay in their own bubble – is probably better for the state of the World than just keeping to your own shores.
Nothing highlights this more than the paranoia regarding TikTok.
All apps are harvesting data, but because the parent company of TikTok is Chinese, governments and business are telling their employees they can’t have the app on their phone.
And yet TikTok, unlike other social media firms, have not – as far as I understand – been caught using the data in illegal ways. And even if they have, I am sure it’s no where near to the level of other companies that have been caught.
But here we go … the classic racism and prejudice towards China.
I know I’m biased.
I also know China has many issues.
But as I’ve said many times, the actions of other governments are equally as bad … they just hide it better, package it better [if that’s what you can call something as sick as Guantanamo Bay] or use the focus on China to distract people more convincingly.
Then there’s the fact some of the stuff the Chinese Government do get away with – and they do – is other politicians wet dream. Specifically the Republican and Tory parties.
Anyway, I don’t know what the problem is because as you can see from the photo above, if TikTok thinks I’m 15, then the data they’re harvesting is nothing to worry about.
Oh hang on, unless that’s my mental – not physical – age, and then we have a lot to worry about indeed.
Sorry for the rambling, jet lagged, post.
I wish I could say tomorrow will be better, but we all know it won’t be.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, America, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, China, Corona Virus, Dad, Daddyhood, Emotion, England, Family, Hong Kong, Jill, LaLaLand, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, New Zealand, Nottingham, Otis, Parents
The above photo was taken back in 2020.
We were living in Fulham.
Everyone was working from home.
And we suspected Otis may have had COVID.
As it turned out, he didn’t – thankfully.
But I love that photo.
The closeness.
The intimacy.
The caring Mum and the curious kid.
A shared moment ruined by me coming in and taking a pic – as usual, hahaha.
But who can blame me? Those two are everything to me.
And the older I get, the more I realise how much time I didn’t spend with them.
That realisation started with COVID.
While the pandemic was so devastating to so many – it was very good to me.
I got to be with my family for longer than I’d ever been in our time together.
Waking up together.
Breakfast, lunch and dinner together.
Putting Otis to bed and then going to bed with Jill at the same time.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Now I know for so many that’s a regular thing but for me it wasn’t and the experience was wonderful and confronting.
Wonderful for how it made me feel. Confronting for how I had allowed that to happen.
Don’t get me wrong … I love work. Or should I say I love parts of work.
And as much as it may not be cool to say anymore, but I loved the travel.
Not being on a plane for the COVID years – bar, moving to NZ – felt like a genuine loss.
Not at first – initially it felt amazing, given how regularly I had been travelling – but after 2+ years, I was ready to hear those engines whir into life. Just not so regularly as I had before … because flying internationally at least once a week, every week for years was just plain idiotic.
And while I don’t want to let all of it go, I have been changing big parts of how I am choosing to live and it all came from something my Dad once said to me.
You see, my Dad had quite an eclectic early professional life.
Not just changing jobs, but whole industries.
I remember asking him why he had done it and he said this:
“I love you and your Mum. So if I’m going to be away from you both for most of the day, I better like what I’m doing because nothing would be so disrespectful as being away for something I hate”
Now I appreciate the privilege in that statement.
There are many who don’t have the opportunity to chase after things that interest them.
And for my Dad, that was enabled by the stability of my brilliant Mum – similar to what Jill has done for me in allowing me to uproot us every few years for an adventure in some other far distant part of the world.
But while I’ve generally enjoyed what I have done … as I get older, it’s becoming more and more apparent that I want to ensure my family is given even greater prioritisation in what I do. That doesn’t mean they weren’t before … but I realise they could have been prioritised a fuck load more.
In some ways, it’s a perfect time for this to happen.
I’m approaching a point in life where some decisions will have to be made regarding my future.
What do I want to do?
Who do I want to do it with – and for?
What do I want to explore, experience and achieve?
Where is the best place for us to be located?
What are the conditions we need to protect what we have?
For me, these are revelation questions.
Previously, I just went with whatever excited/scared me/us the most.
And while this doesn’t mean we’re now happy to settle – because let’s face it, I suck at it, thanks to my only-child inspired, competitive, curious and annoyingly ambitious energy – it does mean these questions ensure my/our decisions are focused on ensuring my family get the best of me, not just what is left of me because the one thing covid taught me is nothing is as important as being together.
It’s pathetic I needed a global pandemic to really drive that home.
But to paraphrase my dad, nothing would be as disrespectful to my family than ignoring what became one of the most precious times of my life with my family.
Thanks to Easter, I get to spend the next 4 days with them … hopefully eating chocolate.
So wherever you are and whoever you’re with, I hope you get to spend it with someone that matters.
Even if that’s just yourself.
Happy holiday … and I apologise for the indulgent, happy-clappy post of today.