The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

We were living in Fulham.

Everyone was working from home.

And we suspected Otis may have had COVID.

As it turned out, he didn’t – thankfully.

But I love that photo.

The closeness.

The intimacy.

The caring Mum and the curious kid.

A shared moment ruined by me coming in and taking a pic – as usual, hahaha.

But who can blame me? Those two are everything to me.

And the older I get, the more I realise how much time I didn’t spend with them.

That realisation started with COVID.

While the pandemic was so devastating to so many – it was very good to me.

I got to be with my family for longer than I’d ever been in our time together.

Waking up together.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner together.

Putting Otis to bed and then going to bed with Jill at the same time.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Now I know for so many that’s a regular thing but for me it wasn’t and the experience was wonderful and confronting.

Wonderful for how it made me feel. Confronting for how I had allowed that to happen.

Don’t get me wrong … I love work. Or should I say I love parts of work.

And as much as it may not be cool to say anymore, but I loved the travel.

Not being on a plane for the COVID years – bar, moving to NZ – felt like a genuine loss.

Not at first – initially it felt amazing, given how regularly I had been travelling – but after 2+ years, I was ready to hear those engines whir into life. Just not so regularly as I had before … because flying internationally at least once a week, every week for years was just plain idiotic.

And while I don’t want to let all of it go, I have been changing big parts of how I am choosing to live and it all came from something my Dad once said to me.

You see, my Dad had quite an eclectic early professional life.

Not just changing jobs, but whole industries.

I remember asking him why he had done it and he said this:

“I love you and your Mum. So if I’m going to be away from you both for most of the day, I better like what I’m doing because nothing would be so disrespectful as being away for something I hate”

Now I appreciate the privilege in that statement.

There are many who don’t have the opportunity to chase after things that interest them.

And for my Dad, that was enabled by the stability of my brilliant Mum – similar to what Jill has done for me in allowing me to uproot us every few years for an adventure in some other far distant part of the world.

But while I’ve generally enjoyed what I have done … as I get older, it’s becoming more and more apparent that I want to ensure my family is given even greater prioritisation in what I do. That doesn’t mean they weren’t before … but I realise they could have been prioritised a fuck load more.

In some ways, it’s a perfect time for this to happen.

I’m approaching a point in life where some decisions will have to be made regarding my future.

What do I want to do?

What are the conditions we need to protect what we have?

For me, these are revelation questions.

Previously, I just went with whatever excited/scared me/us the most.

And while this doesn’t mean we’re now happy to settle – because let’s face it, I suck at it, thanks to my only-child inspired, competitive, curious and annoyingly ambitious energy – it does mean these questions ensure my/our decisions are focused on ensuring my family get the best of me, not just what is left of me because the one thing covid taught me is nothing is as important as being together.

It’s pathetic I needed a global pandemic to really drive that home.

But to paraphrase my dad, nothing would be as disrespectful to my family than ignoring what became one of the most precious times of my life with my family.

Thanks to Easter, I get to spend the next 4 days with them … hopefully eating chocolate.

So wherever you are and whoever you’re with, I hope you get to spend it with someone that matters.

Even if that’s just yourself.

Happy holiday … and I apologise for the indulgent, happy-clappy post of today.