The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Year In Review Which Only I Will Read Or Care About …

So with all the focus on Otis’ 9th birthday, I only just realized this is going to be the last week of this blog for this year. Which means you get a month off and then – when I come back – I will be entering year number 18 of writing my rubbish.

EIGHTEEN YEARS.

An adult.

And will my posts reflect that maturity?

Errrrm, probably not.

In fact a while back, I got called ‘immune to maturity’ by Metallica’s management which they quickly followed up with, “… and I bet you think that’s a compliment.”

That’s why we’re still working together after 7 years … we understand each other so well, ha.

2023 has been an interesting year for me.

Definitely more highs than lows.

In many ways, it has been a standout year for me – both personally and professionally.

I feel almost embarrassed to say that. I totally appreciate how many people are suffering right now. I have friends in tough places and there’s those dealing with everything from mental health challenges through to terrifying conflicts … which just reinforced how privileged and lucky I am.

For the first time in my life, I started this year with a resolution, and it was to say ‘yes’ to everything I was asked to do.

I don’t know why I decided to do that – maybe it is because for all of NZ’s magic [of which there’s tons] it can sometimes feel a pretty isolated, inward-focused place – so to counter that, I decided 2023 was the year of yes and I got to do a lot of that.

Saying yes let me travel literally around the world for work … including some countries/cities I’d never been to in my life. [Not to mention, having the gift of visiting my childhood home again, even though I burst into tears when the lovely new owner opened the door, haha]

I got to speak at a bunch of ace conferences. from Cannes – with my mates Paula and Martin – the magnificent State Of Social in Perth right through to the WWD World Fashion Conference in China [with the incredible Phoebe Philo and, bizarrely, being interviewed by Fashion TV] with a whole bunch in-between.

I was a guest speaker at a bunch of institutions from Cambridge University, the Ecuadorian Advertising Federation right through to the House of Prada.

I got to be part of some incredible creative projects. From the huge: helping design the 72 Seasons world tour stage set for Metallica. The cheeky: offering the All Blacks rugby coach a free curry for a year if he brought home the World Cup, then taking away his naan bread because he didn’t. To the most awarded: watching the wonderful fools at Colenso pick up Gold gongs and Agency of the Year title’s all over the place.

Top that off with seeing 3 members of my team become parents for the first time [and another about 3 months into that magical journey] and to see the 3 newbies from overseas not only fit in with the gang like they were here for years, but make an even bigger difference than I hoped – and you can see why I feel it has been a hugely satisfying year for me professionally.

But it’s the personal side that made it truly memorable.

First of all, we’re all happy and healthy. Like properly happy and healthy.

Then, for the first time in 7 years, we had our first proper family holiday. And while It did not last long in terms of duration, the glow still is with me months later. Yes, I appreciate that sounds more sickly than being force fed 5047389 sticks of candyfloss, it’s true.

Jill started her new company, Tiny Riot … a jewellery company dedicated to say the words women feel, but don’t always want to say out loud. She also felt she had found her peeps … letting her feel she was part of a community she loves and thrives in. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me, especially as we know we’ll no doubt be moving to another country in the not too distant future, hahaha.

Just to be clear, that has not been decided yet, we just know it’s coming … especially as we’ve already lived in NZ longer than we have lived in the last 4 countries we have been in. But I digress …

Which leave Otis …

Brilliant, wonderful, fantastic Otis.

Well, he has flourished and blossomed this year.

From seeing his mates network evolve and develop … with their own codes, games and slang … through to watching him throw himself into new activities, like tennis and swimming, yoyo’s and messing about with Roblox, Reels and video games … to seeing him love his budgie, Sky [which he made me a t-shirt to wear on the Cannes stage to ensure I admitted I cared for it as much as Rosie, ha] and then of course, watching him deal with his dysgraphia diagnosis with positivity, openness and conviction.

Given I have seen adults literally burst into tears when they had to move desks at work – true story – seeing an 8, now 9 year old – embrace a challenge that will affect him for the rest of his life with understanding, openness and a desire to not let it define him or make excuses for him is honestly one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever had the privilege of witnessing.

[I also have to add Forest staying in the Premiership was a highlight, because while Jill and Otis may not like to hear it … that team are family to me, hahaha]

But of course, you can’t have good without bad and there’s been a couple of things that have shaken me deeply.

One in particular made me question everything I thought I knew and could rely on.

The impact it had on me was – and still is – huge. I would say it has been the most emotionally confronting situation I’ve experienced since my parents died. It has been that big.

What makes it even worse is that in reality, I may never really get over it as the impact affects me and my family for the rest of our lives.

And we’re the least affected in this situation.

It has taken me months to try and come to terms with what has happened … to try and accept things I thought I knew and could rely on, have failed.

If truth be told, I’m still working on it … because while I appreciate life can take unexpected turns, it’s why – and how others deal with it – that determines how you feel about it and in this case, they are the things that ended up being disastrously dealt with.

Which is why 2023 can never be seen as a spectacular year for us, merely a very good one.

And as I said, that is still a hugely positive outcome given so many are suffering in ways that make my pain seem insignificant.

Which is why I was so impacted by some graffiti that someone I vaguely know, told me about.

It’s this …

… they’re not wrong.

Which is why, while I know 2024 will face it’s challenges – especially with the US election and the likelihood America will lose its mind and vote for Trump [while acknowledging the Democrats have failed to find and develop a single worthy candidate in 4+ years] – I hope by this time next year, more people can say they had a more positive than challenging year because the World needs it. Because for all the hell that Covid subjected the planet too, the anxiety created by people [read: old, white men] who feel entitled to do and have whatever they want is arguably, even worse. And without wanting to sound like a hippie … some peace would be nice.

I know no one will have read this far, but then this is not for you … but I can assure you the last 3 posts of this week won’t be as indulgent, not for your sanity, but because I can’t be arsed to write so much rubbish again.

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Why Leading A Department Is Part-Time Guard Dog, Part Cat Time Litter Tray …

I hope I’m a decent leader.

While I know there will be some people I’ve worked with, who definitely won’t hold that view … I hope the majority do.

Because – believe it or not – I try hard to be.

Sure, I make some mistakes.
And I can definitely be a pain in the ass.
But I am committed and invested in being the best boss I can be.

I consider myself fortunate because over the years, I’ve had incredible ‘teachers’.

From my parents to mentors to some old bosses … and of course, a few who were so shite, they taught me what not to do, haha.

And while there are many things I believe, adopt and hold dear, one of the most important is: always back your team in public and resolve disputes in private.

It sounds obvious … and it is … but it’s not always followed.

I’ve heard some shocking examples on Corporate Gaslighting … stuff that doesn’t just sound vicious, but the act of megalomaniacs.

But in terms of backing the team, there were few better than football manager legends, Brian Clough and Sir Alex Ferguson.

Yes, I accept they may have had some usual ways of doing this – and demonstrating this – but players knew that unless something exceptionally terrible had happened, their managers would always back them should they face public or managerial scrutiny.

Of course, there was a cost for this …

A cost that was simple but exhaustive.

And it was that the gift of being backed was reciprocated with dedication, focus and effort.

And that – to me – is key.

It’s OK to make mistakes.
It’s alright to sometimes mess things up.
But it can’t be because you were lazy or distracted.

I’ve said it many times, but I believe my job is to ensure that when someone in my team leaves, as they all will at some point, they go because they have a better job than they ever could have imagined.

Chosen for who they are, not just what they do.
Known for what they’ve created, not how well they’re known.
Chased for what they’ve changed, not what they maintained.

OK, there are some exceptions to that – mainly personal reasons, like love or a chance to chase something they’ve always wanted – but I believe I have a responsibility to them to help develop their natural talent, find and release their distinct strategic voice and move things out the way so they can create the most interesting shit of their lives.

It’s why my absolute worst scenario is someone leaving for a sideways move.

Oh my god, I would honestly feel I’d failed them.

And that’s why I place so much importance in backing them and showing my belief in them.

That doesn’t mean it’s blind faith.

We have very honest conversations a lot.

From gentle chats to bi-annual check-in/reviews … but they’re in private and focused on being through the lens of me wanting them to win.

Whether I achieve this is something only they can say. I hope most would agree with it [even those when we’ve parted ways] but if not, then I can assure them I’m working harder to be better.

The reason I say all this is because I saw something recently that I thought was a perfect example of backing the team.

It’s from the British Police.

Now they are getting a lot of stick at the moment. A lot totally deserved.

But this time it’s not them trying to justify an indefensible act … it’s something that resonated with me, because of Otis’ dysgraphia.

It was this.

The British Police – or maybe it’s all Police these days – have a bad reputation.

It’s manifested in mistrust and a lack of people wanting to sign up.

And while I fully appreciate they have a tough job and want to get better [as we saw with West Midland’s Police hiring my mate, Kay, to be their ‘artist in residence’ to better understand and connect to youth culture] … it’s acts like this that are more likely to help the public see the human side of the force as well as the compassionate side.

Anyone who runs a team knows it can be a painful job.

Some days it can feel more like being a cat-litter tray.

But when they know you’ll back them, they’ll back you with their talent, focus and commitment.

Well done Carlisle Police … we need more backing of people with neuro-diversity. Because the more we back those who are different, the more they will show the difference they can make.

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Play Up To Potential, Not Down To Average …

A few weeks ago I wrote about Otis and his love of the Rubik’s cube.

His ability to solve them blindfolded.

How he’s found the cube community to be nurturing and inclusive.

Well recently Otis reminded me of kids endless capacity to be more than just curious … but committed.

You see over the past few weeks, two new things have entered his world.

Yoyo’s and Table Tennis.

I don’t just mean passing interest, I mean a full commitment to see what he can do with it.

Now I appreciate this is a bit easier for him than it was in my day … because he has YouTube to help educate and inspire him.

But my god, his focus and energy has taken my breath away.

In a matter of weeks, his abilities have gone crazy. I appreciate this is the sort of thing you would expect a Dad to say about their kid, but I promise I’m being as objective as I can be.

I’ll have to write about his Yo-Yo chops another day … but it’s unbelievable what he can do [though the innovation of the product is also mind-blowling] however it’s his love of table tennis that is a sight to see.

Part of this is because he’s not really into sports.

He does like tennis, but has no interest in things like football or – that school nemesis – cross country.

But what is great about loving sport that involves hand/eye co-ordination is that it develops his motor skills, which will be permanently affected because of his diagnosis of dysgraphia.

For a while, he’s been hitting a table tennis ball against a window at home with a bat.

So far so good.

But this weekend we took him to the NZ Table Tennis association so he could see what it is like on a full sized table.

And rather than be intimidated or nervous, he loved it.

More amazing, after a bit of getting used to the new dynamics and environment, he was pretty good at it.

Of course I’m talking about the basics of table tennis, but it is his ability to throw himself into things and desire to get better that is fantastic … not so he can beat others, but so he can see how good he could be at something.

I’ve written about this before, but there’s far too many adults who are focused on speed rather than substance.

A desire to take short-cuts to move up than to build a solid layer of ability and experience.

I don’t blame them for doing this – the system is against them – but it also means the people who will be in-charge of the next generations development will be people who may not fully appreciate what development really is. Or can be.

And that’s why I’m proud of Otis. He wants to do it right.

He gets massively frustrated when his ability doesn’t match his ambition … but he works at it till it surpasses it.

His focus and desire is a joy to witness.

His pride of achievement.

His fast-track of growth through the unrelenting focus and commitment of an 8 year old. An 8 year old with dysgraphia.

And while his neurological situation may mean he has to learn in ways that are different to normal approaches, that does not mean his abilities or potential are less.

Not in the slightest.

And that’s what I wish schools and governments understood.

That some kids learn – or have to learn – in personalised ways.

Sure, a lot of schools find that hard because of a lack of resource … but there’s still too many who see teaching about group standardisation than individual potential.

At a time where there is a lot of talk of kids being lazy or under the spell of social media [which is not necessarily true but convenient for older generations to use to mitigate blame] … maybe it’s worth remembering that by not creating and funding a system that recognises, appreciates and encourages individual needs, it’s not their fault they don’t want to follow a path that works against them, its ours.

Add to that the disappointment and disillusionment they see in the adults who blindly followed this ‘one-size-fits-all’ system and ideology, and I’d argue they’re smarter than us.

So while Otis is just doing what he loves, I hope one day he realises he’s a quiet revolutionary … one who shows his focus, dedication and desire to be better can break down barriers.

For him. And the millions of kids who have so much to offer and give, like him.

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Filled By Friendship …

So I’m back.

Did you miss me?

Nope?! Don’t blame you to be honest.

But the past 10 days have been very special for me.

There was a couple of very hard moments, but being able to be there for it, was also special.

Another reminder that while I don’t have many mates, the ones I have are top drawer.

And our presentation appears to have gone down well.

I’m so happy about that … mainly because I got to do it with Paula and Martin and I adored it.

That was a very special feeling. Something I hope we can do a hell of a lot more of, very soon.

It was also so good to catch up with so many old faces I’d not seen in years.

While I actively stay in touch with people, I’m not the most social of humans … so seeing people in the flesh [so to speak] was pretty wonderful.

As I’ve said before, COVID was good to me.

I absolutely loved staying at home with my family and having breakfast, lunch and dinner with them every single day.

Of course, I appreciate we were very privileged in our situation … but that still doesn’t take away the specialness of the times.

At least for me.

But seeing all these people I knew … and hanging out with the people I love … acted a bit like a reset to me.

A reminder of how I feed off the energy of others. That it makes me feel better and happier and hungrier to do good stuff.

To be honest, that was one of the reasons I wanted to come to Colenso.

Yes, part of it was because they are one of the great creative agencies of the times.

And yes, it meant I could finally repay Jill for her generosity in following me around the World by bringing her closer to her Mum after all these years.

But another part was that the idea of being surrounded by a talented team was so enticing.

Put simply, I love it.

I love building a gang.

I love creating our own strategy identify on how we see the world and create for it.

You see after I got made redundant from R/GA, … I was fortunate to be given work that immediately made up the salary I had lost. Better yet, I could do that without having to leave the house as the clients funding me were mainly based in China and America.

I was, as they say, sorted.

But working on your own, is hard.

Even more so when you live in a village surrounded by nothing.

And even more so when you live in a village during COVID so you can’t meet anyone even if you wanted to.

Yes, I get compared to the issues many people face, it’s nothing – but it doesn’t mean it’s not real. At least for me.

Of course I could work on my own if I needed to. The reality is I’ve always done side projects through my career, so there’s been lots of times where I’ve done just that. But moments of working on your own is very different to always working on your own … so when Colenso reached out – knowing I’ve always loved them as I almost joined them in 2016 – the idea of being a member of something was immediately appealing.

Trouble was I loved the projects I was doing … working directly with music, gaming and fashion royalty.

Basically, doing stuff I’d never done before that was incredibly exciting, challenging and creative with people who were incredibly exciting, creative and demanding.

So being a greedy bastard/only child, I asked if they’d be open to me doing both.

And they said yes.

There are many reasons for their decision – from knowing there would never be a conflict with the day-to-day work Colenso do through to knowing the timezones I’d be working in, would require my time at night, not during the day – but I am eternally grateful to them for being so open-minded and encouraging, because right now, I feel I have the best of many worlds.

To be honest that’s been a rare feeling for me.

My life seems to have either been great personally or professionally but rarely both at the same time.

And right now, I’m having that.

This is all coming across like I’m a smug-bastard and that’s the last thing I wanted to do.

It was more a reminder that if you want to do something, you should ask rather than assume and being with people – whether friends, family or colleagues – is a special thing.

Yes, I appreciate that should be obvious, but it wasn’t for me … and this past few weeks, similar to the year before … has reminded me of that.

Of course it highlights what an idiot I must be, but I’ll take that for the lesson it’s just given me.

Which is why I both understand and am confused by those who actively don’t want to work in an office again.

I get it from a balanced life or health perspective – especially if you’re spending a lot of time and money on commuting – but I don’t from the benefits of people and connections.

Of course there are a million reasons that can influence this, but while technology does allow us to be close when we’re not … physical space enables happy accidents and incidental conversations to happen which aren’t just sometimes great for the work, but also the soul.

And mine is full for now.

So thanks to all who helped remind me – and refilled me – over the past couple of weeks.

Let’s see how long it lasts before the grumpiness comes back.

Though, sadly, the long posts are definitely going to remain.

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Month Of Many …

So it’s the first of June.

How the hell did that happen?

On this day last year, I wrote about how amazing my May had been, well this year it seems the next 30 days will define how 2023 ends up for me.

I’ve got my birthday.
Jill’s birthday.
Paul’s birthday.

I get to go to the UK and see Paul and Shelly after a year.

I then go to Cannes and get to present ‘Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative’ with the wonderful and brilliant Paula Bloodworth and Martin Weigel.

That’s quite the month of events.

It also means there will not be many posts this month – you lucky sods.

But it is also a reminder of a couple of important things.

The first is that regardless of age, there’s still things that can excite you.

There’s an attitude that once you hit 50, you’re supposed to act like you’ve done it all … and seen it all. But that is plainly bollocks.

Of course, a lot of that is down to attitude and opportunity.

Now I appreciate my privilege in being able to do these things – but as I’ve said many times, as you get older, you realise you have less time to do things and so there’s an urgency to try and cram as much in as you can. But the problem is, the more you do, the more you find you want to do and so you end up in this endless loop that is both fulfilling and frustrating.

You live with it because the alternative is far worse … hence I’ll always throw myself at things that are interesting, exciting or just curious weird.

That said, at the beginning of 2023, I decided this was the year of me saying ‘yes’ … so I’ve accepted a whole lot more things that I normally would do, driven by that fear that time to do this is getting less so I better take advantage while I can.

The other thing is being close to the ones you love should never be underestimated.

By all means go and explore the world.

Have adventures. Mess up and do stuff.

But don’t forget how important the people are who make your life special.

Now for me, it’s Jill and Otis who define that … but I can’t forget Paul and Shelly.

And while we’ve been apart for decades – bar my 2 years in England – the need to be physically closer to them is growing. It’s ironic that this has happened when I’ve never been so far away … but whereas seeing them once or twice a year was fine, it isn’t anymore.

So while I haven’t figured out how I change that yet – but I am working on it – it does mean I’m beside myself that I get to see them soon. Even better, on Paul’s birthday … something I’ve not been able to do since 2020.

Which reinforces 2 things.

One is how lucky I am. The other is how I am trying to fulfil my parents lesson of living a life of fulfilment rather than contentment. It took me till I was about 35 to really understand what that meant, but I do now and I hope I am doing it in a way where they’re looking down and nodding.

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