The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


When Coffee Leaves A Very, Very, Very Bad Taste In Your Mouth …

It’s been a while since I’ve had a real rant, but this is going to be one.

So if you need a peaceful start to your week, look away – otherwise strap yourself in.

One of my real worries for the future o f our industry is not AI … it’s our lack of seriousness.

Before I go on, there’s a couple of things I need to clarify.

First, I am not advocating we add even more process, systems, data and/or logic in what we do – frankly, they’re increasingly becoming an obstacle to both creativity and commerciality as they increasingly view audiences [or worse, ‘consumers’] as walking wallets and the only aim is to bombard them at the moment of potential transaction.

Neither am I suggesting we should be treating all we do like we’re saving the planet with high-concept art. There may be cases where this approach is the right approach … but when I say a lack of seriousness, I mean it in terms of how we think about what we do, more than what we actually create.

For years, the ad industries ‘piece de resistance’ – The Super Bowl – has been a car crash for advertising and marketing. An endless stream of contrived, unsubtle – and often, unfunny – sponsored jokes that feature a production line of celebrities who are all willing to destroy their legacy for a dump-truck of cash being poured into their retirement pension plan.

It’s so depressing.

Sure, every year there’s one – maybe two – ads that really stand out. This year, for me, it was Manscaped … an ad that didn’t feature a celeb, had an actual idea and was actually related to the product they make. But even then, was it up there with 1984 … or Born of Fire? Probably not, but it was fun, memorable and – while not related to the Super Bowl per se – was made for the Super Bowl audience’s entertainment. As was Coin Base’s ‘karaoke’ spot … which, in terms of understanding the Super Bowl ‘ad break’ context they were in and the typical US audience mindset in that context … was a clever idea.

Look, I get how much pressure is in a Super Bowl spot. I’ve been there. It’s a fucking nightmare. There’s an almost endless amount of pressure placed on the work as every-man-and-their-dog adds more judgement, demands and mandatories … fearing their multi-million-dollar investment will be negatively judged by a global audience. And they’re right to worry about that … except the one thing they all seem to forget is the ad agency knows how to write and craft a spot better than all the C-Suite execs put together, so maybe if they let them get on with it, they’d have a higher chance of their work being loved rather than [at best] ignored or [at worse] openly mocked for how bad, contrived and/or embarrassing it is – thanks to either a terrible story/idea, endless and meaningless product features being crammed into the spot and/or the huge pointers in the script to make sure audiences get the gag, because they think people may be too stupid to get it. [When it’s more because they just won’t care]

All this data. All these systems. All this marketing science. And we’re actually getting worse.

And while I appreciate ad agencies have a lot to answer for, they’re not the only reason for this decline – but we’re not allowed to say that are we? Oh no.

We’re not allowed to talk about the impact of procurement departments.
We’re not allowed to talk about the lack of respect for marketing in companies.
We’re not allowed to talk about the dehumanization of people in the research.

And while you may think my tone is being influenced by it being a Monday morning, you’d be wrong – because it has nothing to do with it being the start of the week and everything to do with this:

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the actual fuck!?

And no, it is absolutely NOT an April Fool joke … which would still be bad, but make some sort of sense.

I thought the Ritz Cracker ad at the Super Bowl was possibly the worst thing I had ever seen [and if you haven’t seen it, I am so envious of you] … but I was wrong.

Who came up with this?

How the hell did it get through the endless committees, hierarchies and research?

And why – given the big PR announcements – are they so bloody proud about it?!!

Hell, even the infamous Kendall Jenner Pepsi ad had the good grace to only be tone-deaf and stupid for 40 seconds … but this? THIS???

It actually makes me angry. Properly angry.

Angry our industry is associated with it – even though it smacks of something an internal group at the client came up with or an outside agency who wanted to pander for more business. Angry they will claim this shows how much they ‘understand their customers’. Angry they think they’re sooooo clever and smart for it. Angry that an agency either came up with this or didn’t speak up about this. And angry this is what marketing has become.

Sure, we’ve all suggested some radical [read: daft] ideas down the years.

Name changes.
New product variants.
New category extensions.

But more often than not, they’ve either been killed or they’ve been done with a lot more care, craft and reality than this.

Maxwell Apartments?!
Maxwell fucking Apartments?!
What I find even more confusing is that the owners of Maxwell House – Kraft Heinz – have been so bloody good with their communication over the past few years – or at least Heinz have – which is why whoever sold this [or mandated this] should be both promoted and fired all within the same meeting.

And while I’m sure there’s some people out there that think I am being a snob … I have 5 things I want to end this post with.

1 I understand there may be reasons for this work only those involved would know and – if made public – may help explain why this approach was undertaken. [see: Mouldy Whopper]

2 I understand good intentions don’t always turn into good work for of a million different reasons. [So while I get my hatred may sting, it’s because I know no one intended this to happen]

3 I understand different cultures/audiences have different tastes and maybe I’m not either of them. [Though I did work on Maxwell House at Wieden, so I am aware of the brand and its audiences]

4 Ideas tend to represent the standard of creativity, company, colleague and agency that you’ve been exposed to in your life, and this one smacks of people blinkered by data, inhibited by corporate politics and/or residing in an echo-chamber bubble.

5 And finally – if you think I’m being an asshole – maybe if I tell you how I found out about this idea, you’ll realise I’m trying to encourage us to aim higher, because not only does our industry need it, I know we are more than capable of doing it. You see, I learned of this work – which has been in market since Sept 2025 – from watching a ‘news blooper’ … a news blooper where the TV presenters found it so fucking stupid, they couldn’t stop laughing at it. On air. That’s right, people who are paid to keep a neutral face – whether announcing the best or worst of humanity – couldn’t keep a straight face about this. Not because they loved it, but because they were openly mocking it.

Maybe it made sense at the time.

Maybe everyone involved was suffering an unknown illness.

Or maybe they need better people or a better work culture where this sort of thing can be stopped because people can speak up without being put down so you don’t make newsreaders and the World think you’ve left them with the worst possible taste in their mouth.

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If You Want To Increase The Odds Of Creating Something Commercially Iconic, Be Transparent …

Once upon a time, a man – who lived and worked in Newcastle, England – got a phonecall.

When he picked up, he heard a woman with a German accent on the other end, who asked “Are you Brian Johnson?”

He replied in the affirmative, to which the mystery caller said,

“You need to come down to London for an audition next week”.

Now Brian was a singer. In fact he’d once had a hit record with his band Geordie – but now he had his own business fitting car windscreens so it was a pretty left-field call to receive. Still, he was intrigued to which he asked the caller, “Who are you and who is the audition for?

There was a pause before the German voice informed him they worked for a music company – who had to remain nameless, just like the band he was told he had to audition for.

Brian was getting a bit fed-up at this point so pointed out in his thick accent,

“I’m not going all the way down to London for an audition unless you tell me who it is”.

Immediately, they were told that was not possible.

“Can you give me a clue … even if it’s just the initials of the singer or band?”

There was another pause – as if the caller was weighing up which would get them in more trouble: giving them a clue or not having Brian come to the audition – before they said,

“OK … here are the initials of the band, but I can give you no more information whatsoever. The initials are A, C, D, C”

The rest is history.

Brian did go to London and he did audition to replace the recently deceased Bon Scott, as the singer of AC/DC.

He got the gig and the first song he wrote – in fact the first song he EVER wrote – was You Shook Me All Night Long.

Then he wrote his second ever song, Back In Black.

Then his third, Hell’s Bell’s.

And not only did all these songs appear on the first album he recorded with the band, it went on to be the best selling album of the bands career. In fact it get’s even better than that, because the album, Back In Black, sold so many copies it become the best selling album OF ALL TIME [at that time] and even now – 46 years later – still ranks the 2nd best ever seller, with 50 million albums sold.

All this because Brian – through luck and persistence – got a key piece of information that made the difference between him choosing to go down to London or telling some random German female caller to “Fuck Off”.

Now it’s fair to say AC/DC were a known quantity at the time. A relatively successful quantity at the time. But who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t done the audition.

We wouldn’t have those 3 songs for a start … 3 songs that are not just iconic for AC/DC fans, but iconic fullstops.

The point being, one of the most important things you can do, to increase the odds of success is be transparent.

Transparent on where you are.
Transparent on what is needed.
Transparent on who is involved.
Transparent on the facts, timing and money.
Transparent on roles, rules and responsibilities.
Transparent on what the definition of success is.

I say this because there is not enough transparency right now – if anything, we operate in a world of opaqueness, which not only fucks up the potential of what can be created together, but breeds distrust and unhelpfulness.

Sure, things can change.
Sure, not everything may be known at the time.
But the more you hold things back, the more you’re not just fucking others over, you’re fucking yourself.

The greatest demonstration of respect in any partnership is transparency … so if your ego, need for control or fear stops you from doing that, then it doesn’t matter what you claim or who you blame, you’re the problem.

That doesn’t mean everything will fail, but it does mean you’ll never create history.

Or said another way …

If that German woman who rang Brian Johnson way back in ’79 had refused to give him any information on the name of the band she wanted him to audition for – as were their orders – then AC/DC may be a band few people would remember and Brian Johnson would be the graveliest-voiced car windscreen repairer in the North of England.

Of course, there will be some who say if that had happened, we’d never know what we’d lost.

And they’d be right, but they’d also be something else: someone incapable of creating or achieving anything truly significant.

In fact it’s worse than that … they’d be someone incapable of even aspiring to something truly significant and would actively goes out of their way to stop others from achieving it, claiming they’re ‘just looking out for the business’ when really it’s about their fear, ego, power and/or control.

No wonder my dear and clever friend George calls them, ‘commercial assassins and happiness vampires’.

Don’t stop someone finding your Brian Johnson because you think transparency is weakness.

It’s not, it’s rocket fuel.

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Making Extra Dough Out Of Bread: The Commercial Value Of Repurposing And Making Old, New Again …

Isn’t it funny we talk so much about the environment, and yet we are producing more stuff that fucks the world than ever before?

That said, while companies aren’t great at living up to what they state – humans tend to be far better.

One of which has been our ability to find ways to make food last longer than intended.

Whether that’s been creating mustard to disguise the taste of potentially ‘off’ ingredients through to making stale bread into bread and butter pudding, we’ve always found ways to stretch things out.

Of course, the ultimate nation for food maximization is China.

Now, part of that is because during the Great Leap Forward, people were starved/starving and so were forced to eat anything they could to survive. However, while that time is well gone, the attitude of ‘waste not, want not’ has remained which is why there’s so many recipes across the region that utilize a nose to tail philosophy.

Literally.

I say this because I recently saw Marks & Spencer’s [M&S] in the UK be a bit smart with their sourdough bread.

It’s this.

Good eh?

Rather than chuck the bread out as it starts to go stale … shove loads of garlic butter in them, place them in a fridge and flog them as mouthwatering garlic bread you just have to heat-up before shoving down your throat.

OK, they could have given it to the needy rather than find another way to take every last penny from their customers, but it’s still devastatingly simple. And smart.

They’ve also launched a range of ‘minimal ingredient’ food … which is clever for a whole host of reasons. The first being the increased awareness and desire for preservative free food. The second being it goes off faster, so there’s a good chance people will end up having to buy more when their best intentions to eat it gets scuppered with life etc. Given it is probably even more expensive than the preservative counterpart – I know, paying a premium for less, classic capitalism – and everyone can kinda win with this.

To be fair, I’ve always been quite impressed how supermarkets innovate – they’ve done far more and in more ways than most organisations – but while ‘pre-packaged’ garlic bread is not a new thing [though garlic sourdough loaves is a whole other level] … as is finding new ways to extend old/ugly food … it’s still a perfect example of creative thinking.

It’s also a lesson to the ad industry on how to sell creative thinking.

Because for all the systems, processes, charts and models we love to bang on about, the key seems to be much simpler.

Solve a real problem. [Opportunity]
Show why people will really pay for your solution. [Benefit]
Make it easy-as-fuck for them to buy [Action]
[including what they have to do at their end to make it happen]

I say this, but I bet there’s still strategists and agencies out there who would still write a 305 page deck to explain this idea …

As I have said before, if the solution feels more complicated than the problem, why the fuck do we expect anyone to do it?

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Who Is Taking Who For A Ride?

I come from a family of lawyers.

My Italian Uncle was a prosecutor against the Mafia and my Dad was a Human Right’s barrister who specialized in fighting corporations and governments who chose to label certain groups/people as ‘irrelevant’ or ‘unimportant’.

I – on the other hand – am not a lawyer. I neither had the brains or the patience … though I did get a distinction in law at college, albeit because my Dad helped me massively – hahahaha.

But the thing is, you can’t be around that level of legal brain without it having some influence over you and one of the things my Dad and Uncle really shaped for me was how ‘details matter’.

Now I appreciate law and advertising are VERY different, but one of the areas where they are very similar is the ability to make complexity, simple.

Unfortunately, a lot of our industry seems to have forgotten that … preferring to either celebrate complexity or make things embarrassingly simplistic, but when we do things right, we do things really right.

Of course it takes a lot of hard work to make things simple.

You have to read.
You have to explore.
You have to go down rabbit-holes.
You have to chat, challenge, and consider.

But not only does this approach mean you get to the core of issues, problems, understanding and opportunities … you are more likely to put something out that makes a real difference to people and the business. So I find it fascinating how more and more companies are giving less and less time for this hard work to be done.

Wanting the process to be at a ‘sprint’.
Wanting costs and people to be ‘trimmed’.
Wanting the agency to accept what ‘they say’.

But we don’t push back on this to be awkward, we push back on this because we give a shit about their wellbeing. We want to do things that add value to what they do, rather than open the door to challenges or questions. And while I appreciate there is a narrative that ‘the general public don’t really care about advertising’, the reality is a bit more nuanced than that.

1. They don’t care about SHIT advertising, but they do care about, what they care about.
2. They definitely care about not being fucked over by companies who try to fuck them over.

And if there’s one thing companies should know by now … social media often finds the stuff they want to hide. The stuff that challenges the narrative they like to project and profess. And while I appreciate that may have led to many companies making ads that basically say nothing – in the twisted belief that if they bore audiences to death, they’re protected – the reality is there will always be someone out there who delves into the details.

I’m not talking about conspiracy theorists.
I’m not talking about the populists and non-conformists.
I’m talking about individuals who want to make sure the companies who want them to give a shit, give a shit in return.

And you know what should scare companies even more?

AI allows everyone to do this quickly and easily. Suddenly the tool some companies have adopted as a way to ‘slash costs’, is the tool that allows society to work out if they should give them any time, let alone money.

And why am I talking about this?

Because in the last few weeks, there’s been a couple of posts that show the importance of ‘the details’.

A couple of posts that show a company that loves to claim they care about what you need, care more about what they need.

A couple of posts that are fucking breathtaking in their ‘findings’.

Who am I talking about? Uber.

Cars and Food delivery.

Now I appreciate what is detailed below may not be entirely accurate – different markets operate by different needs and requirements – however if you use Uber in any way, and I do, it’s something worth reading.

Because at the very least, if the information is not completely right, Uber can then tell us and show us how good they really are. And if the information is correct, then it will force Uber to change or face the consequences.

Details matter.

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Let Musicians Show Us How To Embrace AI …

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a very successful musician.

It was a fascinating chat because – quite frankly – their career is fascinating. However, there were 3 things that made the conversation especially interesting to me ..

1. They’d achieved a highly successful career over decades.
2. They’d witnessed change in almost every are of what they do and how they do it.
3. They’d embraced these changes in ways that only made them more successful.

Now I appreciate the music industry is a fucking basket case, but as Paula and I discussed in our talk at Cannes last year for WARC, there are some artists – of which we’re very fortunate to work with a few of them – who have proven to be better at managing the long term value and relevance of their brand than 99% of companies, consultancies and agencies out there. Add to that, they are able to drive greater greater financial returns and true customer loyalty [contextually speaking] from their audience even though they have neither the budgets, marketing theory or media that we’re increasingly told are the only ways to be effective and efficient in today’s commercial landscape.

But I digress.

The reason why my conversation with this musician was especially interesting to me was because of their view on AI.

Put simply, while they recognized it would have a huge impact on how people did things, his view was that it was not as black and white as many like to portray – to which he used the drum machine to reinforce his point.

Back in the 1980’s, technology had evolved to a point where the ‘electronic drum machine’ was a reality.

Suddenly musicians – whether in bands or in their bedrooms – could create music with even greater freedom and control.

Better yet, drum machines always stayed in time, turned up on time, didn’t need loads of space for their equipment, could play at much quieter volumes and didn’t have opinions.

It was a revelation.

In fact it was more than that, it was in many ways, their first experience of ‘artificial intelligence’.

However …

While these machines helped explode the electronic music genre, it did not kill music.

Or drummers.

Sure, there was a period where this technology was ‘flavor of the month’ as artists of all genres experimented and explored what was possible with this new tech – including drummers – but it didn’t kill all drummers, it didn’t stop kids wanting to be a drummer, it didn’t stop new bands starting and it didn’t make every drum manufacturer go out of business.

Yes, some had to evolve.

Yes, some parts of the industry changed.

But it didn’t signify the end of days for drummers, drumming or music as a whole.

If anything, it elevated it, inviting and encouraging more people to come in.

To try.
Explore.
Create.

What’s also interesting is that it also helped some musicians appreciate the human drummer.

Their ability to create new patterns to music.
To play off the beat rather than perfectly to the bar.
Their unique skill in bringing different energy to songs.
Their contribution to the chemistry of the moment and the creation.

In the case of the musician in question, they absolutely use drum machines – both to demo music and when they perform – but they still also have a ‘human drummer’, for all the reasons I’ve just mentioned.

Or as they put it:

“Technology offers musical consistency. Humans offer musical interactivity.”

We are obsessed with looking at everything in binary terms.

One person wins.
One person must lose.

And while there are cases where that can and will happen – the drum machine is proof there’s a whole lot of other possibilities and outcomes that are available. The key is seeing the technology as something that liberates far more than just ‘commercial efficiency’ … and while companies may be unable to see anything but that, humans can.

Not just because our life depends on it. But because our life depends on being able to express who we are and how we feel.

And while AI may be able to execute at levels we could never previously imagine, it doesn’t have a point of view … it doesn’t see, let alone understand, the invisible energy that can lie between people and it doesn’t know how to feel.

So while the tech companies are telling us we need it, the reality is it needs us.

The best of us. And then maybe we’ll all remember life isn’t binary, it’s filled with possibility.

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Please note:

Believe it or not, it’s another holiday tomorrow, so you’re free from me for 3 whole days.

So here’s to you having a great weekend … maybe playing with AI on your terms, rather than using it as seemingly every influencer and Tiktoker is trying to push you into using it, for cheaper holidays, making your first million or signing up for their ‘course’ to learn how to become a business icon. Ahem.

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