The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


We All Are Going In Our Own Directions …

Without wishing to sound like a stalker – or a pervert – but I recently spotted this couple walking down Ponsonby Road …

I don’t know who they are.

I never saw their faces.

I only was behind them for a matter of seconds.

But in that time, they made a huge impression on me.

The togetherness.
The lazy pace of synchronicity.
The fact they were heading somewhere only they knew.

So much of our industry is focused on what we want people to do or think … and so little time is spent on where people are at in life. Everyone has their issues, concerns, hopes and ambitions – and yet, too often, that’s seen as unimportant or inconvenient.

We – and by that, I mean research companies as much as advertising agencies – talk about ‘understanding people’, but what we really mean is we understand what clients want to hear. So we churn out an endless stream of characteristics that both say everything about anyone as well as nothing.

Robots more than humans.

The thing is, one of the greatest things about the creative industry is are ability to emotionally impact millions.

How to make them feel … not just think.

And yet every model, system and process I see being promoted on platforms and websites doesn’t talk about this.

In fact, it actively filters this sort of thing out … instead, it talks about ‘identifying the optimum trigger and moment to drive the purchase decision’.

What. The. Fuck.

We wonder why our industry is not as influential as it once was?
We wonder why influencers can impact audiences more than a multi-million media plan?
We wonder why artists can reach and impact audiences without any marketing budget, knowledge or skills?

There’s a simple reason.

We don’t spend enough time caring about this couple.

Who they are.
What’s important to them.
What they’re working towards.
What people misunderstand about them.
When was the last time they felt happy. Or helpless.

All we care about is how we can reach them with ‘efficient and convenient sales messages that convey the key functional reasons for purchase consideration. Never once realizing the real problem is they don’t give a fuck about what we’re saying because all we’re doing is shouting what we want them to care about rather than understanding what they actually care about.

Or need.

So next time you get a brief – or write one – that describes an audience as, ‘urban dwelling, white collar employees who take what they do seriously but don’t take themselves seriously’ ask yourself one thing.

Are you about humanity or commercial landfill?

Which just leaves me with a message to the people in that photo.

Thank you for being an important reminder of what we’re brilliant at and what we’re here to do.

May you have a brilliant life together. Whoever you are. Wherever you go.

Here’s to you continually walking towards wherever you want to go together.

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Run For Your Life, The 1800’s Are Coming …

This is a long post, because it has been written by a lot of rage. Mine.

So buckle up and read it, because while most of what I spout is utter shite. This is important.

Recently someone I know left the company they had been working at for a few years.

When they announced it on Linkedin, they were flooded with supportive, celebratory messages. As they should be.

But there was one other thing that was common among the comments, and that was people writing “what a good run you had”.

I don’t know about you, but when I hear that, it immediately conveys a company who has a reputation for letting people go … and so ‘what a good run’ really means is that you lasted longer than most. That your achievement was as much about staying in the role as it was about what you did in the role.

And to me, that all feels toxic as fuck.

Not by the people saying it.
Or the person it is being said to.
But the organisation who seemingly doesn’t give a fuck about letting people go.

Of course – like US politicians who ask for ‘thoughts and prayers’ after another mass shooting – their corporate mission statement only talks about their belief in their people …

How they’re trying to build a thriving, collaborative community and culture …

In fact, they say a lot of things except one: ‘when people leave, they will be cushioned by comments saying they ‘had a good run’.

So how do they get away with it?

Cash.

They pay significantly more than market rate and so there’s a steady stream of people who are willing to go work there either because they need a gig, they have fallen for the hype [and not checked it first] or they believe they can be the exception to the rule.

That’s not a judgement on the people, I get it … but it is a judgement on the org.

Especially as – in the big scheme of things – the money they pay comes at a huge cost.

The talent they’ve burned – and burned through – is extraordinary and yet no one, be it past of present employee, says a thing.

On first impression, it can feel like they’ve all agreed to collectively gaslight society, but on closer inspection you soon realise the real reason for that approach is far more due to fear than delusion.

Fear of losing your position.
Fear of never working again.
Fear of inviting more abuse.

One look at Corporate Gaslighting and you see this is not an uncommon – or unjustified – view. What’s even scarier is it is seemingly happening more and more … to the point where I swear some companies think ‘salary’ means they fully own their employees.

OK that’s a ridiculous view … a totally over-exaggerated and overblown view … an over-exaggerated and overblown view that is almost as ridiculous as:

Zero-hour contracts.
No overtime payments.
No training and development.
Expectation you are always ‘on-call’.
Personal social media monitoring.

Yes, I get those ‘work practices’ are still more the exception than the rule … but the fact they are there at all, is madness.

I get companies have to make money.
I get we live in a highly competitive world.
I even appreciate not every person is good for every company.

But come on …

What bothers me more is this is quickly becoming standard work practice.

STANDARD!

It’s like someone read a book on Victorian-era ‘workhouses’ and thought, “That sounds fun”.

And so, they’re trying to create a new set of beliefs for the ‘modern’ workplace.

Culture will not be born from the employees but dictated by the leadership.
Opinions can never be expressed; they must always be silenced.
Growth is not measured by personal development, but corporate conformity.
Success is not defined by personal achievement, but individual survival.
Failure is always – ALWAYS – to be aimed squarely at the shoulders of the employee.

[As an aside, if anyone is visiting Nottingham, they should check out the Workhouse in Southwell and go back to the future]

It’s like an episode of Black Mirror if Black Mirror was a documentary, not satire.

It’s here we’re taking a commercial break, because as much as this post has been about bullshit behavior – at least the people it’s about got paid well. But over the last 6 months, I’ve met many, young, lowly-paid, talented strategists be burned out by the expectations, pressure and demands of their employees.

As we highlighted in our 2024 book, Dream Bigger, too often people of my generation look at the young and say they don’t have the right work ethic … they expect too much … they are lacking in drive and skills … but apart from the fact that’s bullshit, even if it wasn’t, could you blame them given how they’ve seen so many of us invest so much in the promises of ‘hard work’ and then end up with nothing. And at least we had options available to us that could actually help. These poor fuckers don’t have any of that and yet we hold them to even higher expectations.

But that’s different to burnout because burnout is criminal. Actually criminal.

How are companies letting this happen? What are the fucking HR people doing?

What makes it even worse is the 5 people I met all worked at companies who talk big about ‘how their people are their greatest asset’. More like burning asset.

You want to know why we find it hard to attract the young to our industry? Because too many companies treat them like cannon fodder – and then when they’ve been battered, broken or bruised. we turn around and say ‘they couldn’t cut it’. Bastards.

Back in 2021, when we did Dream Small, we highlighted how this was a generation tolerated rather than welcomed. Then a few months later, I wrote how the ‘great resignation’ was actually – for many of the young – the ‘great reset’. But as much as they have pushed for change, this shit is still happening to so many – as demonstrated by the fact I’ve talked to 5 people in the past 6 months who could be great, but have literally been burned and no one seems to give a fuck.

All their bosses do is throw them some compliments or cash, believing it will ‘shut them up’ when what the person actually needs is to be thrown a fucking life raft of compassion, care and change. But what makes this even worse is that when the bosses discover the cash and compliments no longer have any sort of effect – when they have wrung the person out completely – they get rid of them while doing all they can to make sure the individual feels they have done something wrong to shame them for life and to keep them quiet.

It’s horrific and shows nothing has changed in the 4 years since I was featured in The Guardian about this corporate practice of employee shaming. Or the attempt of it.

What are we going to do when we have no one want to come to our industry?

We don’t pay many fairly.
We don’t train them well.
And then we work them to the point of exhaustion.
Seriously, in terms of analogy, there is no better one for this group than Workhouse attendees.

We can try and claim their attitude sucks all we like, but we’re the fuckers who need to take the long hard look in the mirror.

And with that, I end the commercial break and take us back to ‘regular programming’.

The reality is we’re getting to a point where there’s no bigger red flag about an organisation than when employees get congratulated by ‘the run they’ve had’.

Some may be well paid ‘middle management’.

Some may be poorly paid ‘young talent’.

But all of them are out-on-their-ear … surplus to requirements or drained of all life.

Which is why – and I appreciate the privilege I say this with – if you find yourself in a company like the one my mate has just ‘left’, then maybe the best thing you can do for your future health, well-being and career is to ‘run the fuck away from them’.

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Sometimes The Only Reason Is You Like It More …

We’re surrounded by processes and systems.

Each and everyone proclaiming to be ‘the right way’ to do something.

A way that claims effectiveness … efficiency … accuracy and performance are all but guaranteed.

And while it is true that in many cases, they increase the odds of good things happening … that’s all they do.

Sure, many have a ton amount of data accompanying them to back things what they say … but as we all know about data, when used right [or wrong] you can make it say or prove anything you want it to.

The reality is our industry, pretty much all these systems are less a shortcut to wealth and prosperity, and more an insurance policy against failure and destruction.

Nothing wrong with that other that it does the opposite of what many claim and instead, champions conformity more than liberation. But then what do you expect when many of the people doing the spouting of systems and processes have a vested interest in everyone using those very systems and processes.

Again, I’m not suggesting you ignore all these things. As I said, many play an important role in developing products and brands … however when someone suggests they’re ‘the secret to success’ and must be embraced to the letter – then you need to think about whose success are they really talking about.

It’s why I bloody loved this interview with Marc Andreessen – the businessman, venture capitalist, and [former] software engineer. Specifically the bit about ‘why hyperlinks are blue’.

OK, so he tries to rationalize it at the end, but fundamentally what he says is: “blue is my favorite colour”.

That’s right … the colour of our hyperlinks were chosen.

By a human.

Because he liked that colour.

Kind of reminds me of the ‘wings’ on a Cadillac.

There was absolutely no functional reason for them to exist other than the fact the designers just thought it looked better with them.

That’s it.

And with that, they turned a car into an icon. And here lies a key lesson …

Sometimes, the things we like are simply because we like them.

There may be many alternatives.
There may be other possibilities.
But at the end of the day, some choose things for no other reason than it works for them.

And at a time where everything needs to be justified … rationalised … reviewed and tested … I think those people deserve credit for backing their belief, judgement, vision and preference.

It’s easy to do what a system tells you to do.

It’s easy to follow what others tell you is right.

But it takes confidence to embrace what you believe is the right thing to do. And while I acknowledge some will suggest this approach is an act of ego and arrogance … when you consider how many of these ‘dot-to-dot logic™ systems and ‘researched-to-within-an-inch-of-their-life’ campaigns/brands/products fail to perform [often because the impact or output they create is deemed secondary in importance to the adherence of every step of whatever system or logic process you have committed to using] you could argue the person who backs their judgement is no less an idiot than the person who outsources all their responsibility to someone else?

Whether we like it or not, sometimes the best things are a product of someone doing something they preferred.

They will justify it.

They will rationalize it.

But underpinning it all, is their acknowledgment that before they can think about satisfying others, they need to satisfy themselves … and frankly I find that a pretty honourable act.

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Forget Emperors New Clothes, It’s The Egg Salad Salesmen You Have To Worry About …

As tomorrow is one of those terribly indulgent ‘thank you and goodbye to ’24 post’ [the blog equivalent of boring someone with ‘what they dreamed about last night’], I thought today should be a RobMegaRant™ post … ending the year as I hope to start next year, hahaha.

So with that, take a look at this bloody amazing picture.

How awesome is it?

I have absolutely no idea where it’s from or when it’s from but I can’t stop looking at it.

The browns.
The clothes.
And then – of course – the egg salad machine.

You can imagine that at the time, this was a demonstration of innovation.

Of technological advancement.

Of commercial optimisation.

A glimpse into an automated world of high efficiency and effectiveness.

Removing barriers and friction to provide audiences with consistent, satisfying results.

Except it wasn’t was it?

Not in the long-term … and most likely not in the short-term either.

Oh sure, there’s machines that make industrial amounts of egg salad to shove in cheap and cheerful sandwiches you get at the local petrol station … but in 54 years of being on – and around – this planet, I’ve never once seen any ‘public egg salad maker/dispensers’.

Not even in Japan.

And that’s because it’s a shit idea, for a shit-ton of reasons.

Taste.
Quality.
Consistency.
Health and safety.
The fact no one wants egg salad every single day of their life.
And that’s before we even get to issues such as ‘appetite appeal’.

Looking at the picture and you can’t help but wonder, “what the fuck were they thinking”?

Except our industry does a similar thing ALL. THE. TIME.

An endless production line of ‘proprietary’ systems, processes, models and formats … promising the world and promoted using almost identical language and benefits that was likely used for that bloody egg volcano machine.

Innovation.
Automation.
Optimisation.
Advancement.
Transformation.
Effectiveness.
Efficiency.

Put aside that in most cases, the only ‘proprietary’ element is the name that’s been given to it.

Put aside that in many cases, the people behind it have never created something of disproportionate value and impact.

Put aside that the vast majority of these ‘innovations’ are more about not being left behind rather than moving you forward. [Read: marketing transformation]

Put aside that in many cases, the real purpose of the product is to reinforce the ego – and/or bank account – of the person claiming to have all the answers.

Put aside that many of the companies who flock to it tend to be those who choose to abdicate and outsource their responsibility for decisions and choices.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good innovations in our industry. There are also far too many people who dismiss change simply because they don’t like it. And we cannot forget that we unfairly expect new ideas to deliver the results of established ideas.

However, when certain parties peddle their products, tools, services, models, formats with the attitude of it not just being the right way, but ‘the only way’ – where they guarantee success regardless of category, country or spend – then frankly, not only should we see their declarations as an admission of [at best] blinkered thinking or [at worst] evidence of being a chancer and/or hustler … we should be asking ourselves why the fuck are we blindly trusting the self-serving voice and opinion of those whose only major commercial achievement is elevating their own name and image.

I am over efficiency and optimisation being peddled as innovation and progress.
I am over process being regarded as more important than output.
I am over loose association being reframed as expertise.
I am over easy being more valued than quality.
I am over people thinking being good in one thing means they’re excellent in all things.

We need to stop thinking of insurance salesmen as pioneers.

Sure, the good ones have a role to play – especially when companies are downgrading training for their employees – but it’s not as a leader of marketing/brand/creative innovation. Even more so when the reality is many are either riding on the efforts and achievements of someone else or simply communicating the 101 of particular disciplines under the guise of it being at the highest academic standard.

Forgive me for my skepticism, but even if it was true – which it isn’t – I don’t see many universities achieving cultural status and influence through their marketing approach. Hell, most universities don’t even know how to differentiate themselves from each other.

Please don’t read this as being anti-education. God no.

The reality is the industry needs more teachers. Or should I say better ones.

Not the self-appointed guru’s who peddle their self-serving blinkered services for profit, but those who have been there and done that. Who have consistently done things at a standard that goes way beyond just basic levels of achievement. Who can talk from the perspective of being at the coalface, not from a pedestal. Watching on with their binoculars. We need to celebrate those with actual experience, not just assoicated opinions.

Or said another way, we need chefs not egg salad salesmen.

Lets hope in 2025, we get back to valuing the ingredients, not just the convenience.

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The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same …

Years ago, when we had cynic, George did some research on car ownership in the UK.

It focused on how drivers – specifically, British male drivers – saw car heirarchy and how they reacted and responded to it in their daily lives.

I remember us presenting it to clients who were shocked by the spoken and unspoken rules and cues of the road.

I say this for 2 reasons.

1. I recently saw an old BBC program that perfectly encapsulates George’s findings.

2. It’s near the end of the year and I’m running out of things to write about.

[Don’t get too excited, it’s only temporary, and it’s not like it impacts quality, ha]

Ignoring point 2 for a moment, the documentary was fascinating.

An insight into the mind and behaviours of middle England.

The role of the class system.
The quest for materialism.
The importance of status.

And while the way they demonstrate this is equal parts sad, curious, petty and hilarious … it’s all underpinned by a level of transparency, honesty and self-awareness that you can’t help admire and kinda-relate to.

The need to be seen … to be respected … to progress … while all the time, being deeply aware of ‘your place’ in societies pecking order, including knowing how to deal with the expectations of behaviour placed upon you because of it.

While those not from the UK may read this and laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, I can assure you, it was not just very real, it was a source of huge personal anxiety, vulnerability and pressure.

Now I don’t know if this ‘company car driver attitude’ remains.

And I don’t know if the ‘company car driver’ attitude was more prevelent in the UK.

Plus I’m not even sure if company car ‘ownership’ is as big in the UK as it once was.

But what I do know is that before we judge those in the program, we should look at how we’re behaving currently as individuals and as a society … because it can be argued we’re more caught up in ‘materialism heirarchy’ than any British company car driver of 1994.

Hell, when status is now defined/judged/awarded as much by how we live as what we own, it could be said we’re more caught up in the rat race than ever before.

So enjoy the show, but remember it’s more a mirror than a moment in history.

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