Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Collegues, Confidence, Creativity, Culture, Professionalism, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Revenge
For some reason, this week is a bunch of posts about professional life.
I get it, I have absolutely no right to write about that in any way or form. But since when has that ever stopped me?
Anyway, the next few days may have some use for anyone wanting a career – be it in a company or on their own. I don’t write it because I have all the answers, but more because I’ve experienced a lot of the problems. Self made and otherwise, ha.
So recently, someone I know told me their career hadn’t turned out as they hoped.
The thing is, they had done well.
Lived and worked around the World.
But despite that, they felt it wasn’t what they hoped it would be.
I get it … we all probably have had moments where we’ve felt that, especially if you see others you don’t think are as good as you, having a better career than you.
But while that can spur you on, it can also bring you down.
Making you focus on what you failed at rather than what you’ve gained, or forget that someone out there is probably looking at what you’ve done with the same jealous eyes as you are looking at someone else.
The reality is everyone has something they wish they were better at.
Or should I say, better than someone else is at.
Might be their career.
Could be their talent.
Hell, could even be their looks.
Even that rich arrogant prick Elon Musk wishes he was funnier than he is. He won’t admit it of course, but you can tell by his actions and behaviours that’s the case. From bringing a sink into Twitter when he bought the company to prancing on stage holding up a chainsaw – he is desperate to be seen as someone he isn’t.
And while he may try to front it out, his actions show a deep insecurity with who he is. That he knows he isn’t all he wants to be.
And while I am not trying to suggest we should all be happy with what we’ve got and who we are … it is a reminder that its worth remembering the bits you’ve done that were good, because it’s amazing how they tend to be the first things we forget.
Throughout my career I’ve had people talk to me about feeling they’ve hit a ‘dead end’ and my response to them is the same every time ..
“Go back and review all the work you’ve done in the past 12 months and then come back to me if you still feel the same way”.
To be honest, most of them do come back … but also most admit that maybe they’ve done more than they had first thought they had.
A career is a big thing to have.
It’s hard to get but also a privilege to be able to have.
Not just because times are always changing and certain prejudices are continually remaining … but because we, as people, tend to continually be judging, comparing and competing.
Some with others.
Some with ourselves.
Some with people in industries we have nothing to do with.
So while having ambition and hunger is a key trait of career progression – as is, to a certain degree, jealousy – so is acknowledging and respecting who you are and what you’ve achieved, even if it is not quite what you hoped.
Because if you only focus on what you’ve not done, how are you going to be of value to those who want your expertise in what you have?
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Colleagues, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Empathy, Football, Fulfillment, Leadership, Management, Nottingham Forest, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance
One of the things I’ve always believed is that the role of a boss is to ensure that when their people leave – and they always will – they are going to a job that they didn’t previously think was possible for them.
A role where it is as much about who they are as what they do.
A position based on what they’ve made not just what they’ve written.
An opportunity created because they want to hire them rather than there’s a hire needing to be filled.
OK, there is one other scenario that makes me happy and that’s when someone leaves for love, family or to explore a personal passion … however in terms of ‘direct’ career moves, I feel I’ve done my job for my team when they leave for what I call, ‘a bigger life’.
Has this always happened?
No. No it hasn’t … however I am extremely proud that in the main, it has.
I should point out here I am in no way trying to take credit for my old colleagues success. The reality is they did it all by themselves … my only role was to ensure I created the conditions, environment and standards that let their talent and ambitions be expressed, pushed and celebrated.
This last bit is important because while the industry sometimes feels it rewards popularity more than experience, a career is built on what you do, not what you say.
Or said another way: What you’re willing to put in, not just what you want to take out.
Let me be clear, I am not suggesting you have to work to the extreme in terms of hours or workload.
Apart from that being completely counter-productive to enabling you to be the best you can be, who – apart from Tom in Succession – wants a career based on ‘being able to take more shit than someone else’?
That doesn’t mean you don’t have to graft – you do – but as I’ve written in the past, graft is very different to working to the bone or engaging in that other evil beast, hustle culture.
So what do I mean by graft?
Well, there are many interpretations, but for me – this quote by Nottingham Forest’s Taiwo Awoniyi, kind of captures it best.
The significant part is this: “I think I can make you who you want to be as a player. But it is your decision to come?”
Your decision to come.
YOUR decision to come.
The acknowledgement that to move forward, you have to choose to do it.
No shortcuts. No handouts. No guarantees. Yet you still have to show up.
But what I also love about that line is the bit that comes before ‘your decision to come’.
Because in just 14 words, the coach has told Taiwo they:
1. Believe in his ability but won’t make false promises.
2. Are focused on Taiwo’s ambitions and aspiration are, not theirs.
3. Will commit their energy to the pursuit of helping Taiwo achieve his goal/s.
Shared responsibility.
Shared commitment.
Shared effort.
In essence, he removed all the pressure being just on the player by saying to them, that they’re in this journey, together.
What this means is Taiwo knows the focus is on where he wants to be, not just what someone wants him to do.
That his graft will not be in vain.
That there’s a productivity to all he puts in.
And that success won’t simply be measured by what his boss achieves, but what his boss helps him achieve.
But, to have all that, the expectation is he demonstrates it through his actions and behaviours each day.
It won’t be easy.
It definitely isn’t a given.
But if you choose to take this chance – not just theoretically, but with everything you’ve got – then they will commit to helping you get where you hope you can be.
And maybe even beyond that.
Sadly I don’t know if that same attitude is embraced by our industry much these days. Of course it’s there with some people, but it’s unlikely to be the norm.
And why do I say that?
Because we’re seeing less and less training in companies these days … and what there is, is often outsourced to a ‘for profit’ individual/company who often are only doing it for self-serving reasons. And what this is resulting in is less independent thought and/or good people leaving the industry.
This kills me, because I love this industry.
Sure, it can drive me nuts but at its best, it’s something truly special.
Special work.
Special people.
Special possibilities.
It has also given me a life that – in all honesty – I never imagined was possible, however I had some bosses through the years who were like Taiwo’s and for that I am eternally grateful to them. [Just so you know, I also had some utter pricks, but I’m even grateful to them because they showed me who I will never want to be]
This post has gone on for far too long which is why I’ll leave anyone who has got this far with a gift.
If you want to know if you’re working for a company that really cares about your growth or cares more about their own, ask your CFO this simple question:
“What percentage of the companies budget is dedicated to staff training”.
Trust me, their answer will tell you all you need to know.
You’re welcome.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Alcohol, Aspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Beer, Career, Childhood, Comment, Culture, Friendship, Mischief, My Childhood
I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since I was 15.
That means almost 40 bloody years!!!
And yet, over the years, I’ve been arrested for being drunk and disorderly all over the World … even though in reality, I was just being a stupid idiot.
A sober, stupid idiot.
For people who know me, that shouldn’t be too hard to imagine … however the reality is ‘being a stupid idiot’ is why I stopped drinking in the first place.
Not because I ever had a problem with how much I drank – if truth be told, I only ever got properly ‘drunk’ twice in my life and, being so young, meant I never had too much access to alcohol in the first place – but because I had a problem with feeling out-of-control.
I appreciate that may make me sound like a psychopath, but what’s even stranger is that I have a very addictive personality.
Over the years, that’s got me into a bunch of different types of trouble … which is why I am so glad my addictive side is offset by also being in possession of a stubborn-as-a-mule side.
What this means is that if my addictive side goes too far, my stubborn side kicks in and stops me dead.
I don’t just mean ‘stops me’ for that moment, I mean it stops me doing whatever it is I was doing, for good.
It’s like the ultimate flex … showing my addictive side that as influential as it thinks it is, it decides what I do and don’t do. And nothing proves that more by ensuring that when it stops me, it never ever lets me do it again.
It’s why I stopped drinking alcohol.
It’s why I stopped playing fruit machines.
It’s why I – eventually – stopped eating so much shit.
It’s also why I never tried drugs because it’s a given I’d have gone all in on them.
However, I am a bit confused why it hasn’t stepped in to stop me walking around like an idiot. But then, I guess I am choosing to do that rather than because I have a compulsion to – which is, arguably, even scarier.
Or sadder.
Anyway, I am writing all this because I read something recently that triggered all these thoughts.
It was something the actor/host Rob Brydon said this about the best time to be in a movie.
I love that. I love it for the objectivity, the vulnerability and the self-awareness.
Some people dream of being in a movie.
Some people dream of writing a hit song.
Some people – god forbid – dream of working in advertising.
And that’s great, until you let that define who you are.
Because the moment that happens, you’re no longer in control of who you are.
You are at the mercy of those around you.
Desperate for the acclaim. Hurt by any criticism. Doing all you can to stay where you think you are .. and yet, always craving to be something more.
Some companies actively try to cultivate this attitude …
Making you feel you’re special for being where others aren’t.
Letting you enjoy the trapping of industry success and clout.
Feeding your confidence with stories of acclaim and fame.
But while this is going on, they’re slowly changing the dynamic.
Shifting you from a position of strength to dependency.
Turning the screw until they’re the one in control.
Where you’ll be complicit to whatever keeps you in favour.
Because to be let go by them would feel like you no longer exist.
Until they decide you don’t.
Trust me it happens.
It’s kind-of why I started Corporate Gaslighting.
Because the way they win is creating the conditions of control. And shame.
But this post has taken a bit of a turn …
Because while that quote from Rob Brydon may be about the dangers of getting what you want, it wasn’t the point I was originally using it for this post.
The real reason was that when I read it, it reminded me of something The Chemical Brothers once said.
Something to do with alcohol consumption – which is where this post started, just to connect the dots in case you were as lost as I appear to have been.
You see, they were once asked, “What’s your favourite part of being drunk”.
To which they gave one of the best answers to any question I’ve ever heard:
“The second before you know you’re going to be sick”.
Those are the words of someone who has been there more than once.
Who has learned the lessons of excess the hard way.
Who’s personality is all addiction, and no stubborn.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Comment, Creativity, Culture, Dad, Fulfillment, Linkedin, Loyalty, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Planners, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Standards, Strategy, Stubborness, Success, Talent
Every new year, people tend to re-evaluate their plans and ambitions.
What they’re doing.
What they want to do.
How they can achieve it.
How they can stop doing what they don’t want to do.
So given it’s still – just – the first month of 2025, I thought I’d try and help by offering some advice that may or may not be of use to anyone evaluating where they are or where they’re going in their career.
I appreciate this sort of thing can often come across as patronising or condescending as hell, so the way I’m approaching it is to simply give the 4 pieces of advice – out of all the advice I’ve received over the years, whether I asked for it out or not, haha – that I have genuinely found valuable, useful and usable.
1. Be known for being really, really good in up-to 3 specific areas of your job.
That could be the work you create. That could be for the new business you win. That could be for how you can deal with problem clients. In many ways, it doesn’t matter … you just need to build your reputation around some specific things rather than try to be known for everything.
2. Make sure you do things of significance in your current role rather than always having to refer to something you did in the past.
By that I mean don’t think you can sit on your laurels because you achieved something of note at one point in your career. Reputation – at least one with contemporary value and momentum – is forged by repetition rather than singularity.
3. If you want to earn money, focus on being good at one or more of the 3 ‘R’s’.
While it would be nice to think you move up the career and salary ladder by performing well in your job, the reality is companies place disproportionate value on 3 things.
Relevance: your reputation is in areas that are enjoying a period of commercial topicality.
Relationships: you have close connections with people in positions of commercial significance or importance.
Responsibility: you are willing to deal with complex or sensitive issues. Or said another way, you are OK with letting people go.
[Note: As someone who has experienced this from both sides, there are ways to let people go that are far more humane than many approach it. At the heart of that is focusing on transparency and sensitivity … so study how to do it, it makes a difference for the person it relates to. Still won’t be good, but it can be a whole lot less bad]
4. If you wait for perfect, you will wait forever.
This is ultimately about being proactive. Making good things happen rather than hoping they will. That does not mean cheating, manipulating or acting in stupid ways … it’s about using your impatience and/or frustration to actively learn, evolve and engage with those who can help you move forward. Said another way, it’s about taking responsibility for what you want to have happen rather than complain something didn’t – which helps explains why I’ve always adopted the attitude that if you’re open to everything, anything can happen. And I’ve been lucky enough to prove that approach works. Again and again.
That’s it.
4 simple pieces of advice that – along with ‘learn from winners, not players’ – have had more influence over how I have approached my career than almost everything else put together.
Whether you find that valuable is dependent on your context and whether you think I have had a career of value … but for a bloke from Nottingham who didn’t go to university and didn’t do very well in his school exams, I think I am doing OK.
[Note, present tense, not past – ha]
The best thing about this advice is that I was given it early enough in my career that I could embrace it and adopt it in my choices and behaviours. But even better than that, I was given it by someone who had truly achieved in theirs.
I should point out they didn’t say it with arrogance or bravado.
They also didn’t say it with an attitude that it would be easy to achieve.
They said it because – for some reason – they believed in me and wanted the best for me.
And while it offers no guarantee for success – and still requires large dollops of luck along the way – it has served me well.
While I’m firmly of the belief that the best advice for your own development is to learn from your our own successes, failures and fucked-up choices, I pass these points on because I’m fed up of reading certain individuals [some who have achieved certain degrees of success, by whatever criteria you wish to allocate to them, and some who have most definitely not] suggest the best way to experience career growth is through the blind adoption of their ‘for-profit’ tools, products, services and training … which begs the question, whose career development are those people really focused on?
As my old man used to say, knowledge may be power … but adherence is conceding control.
