Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Colenso, Collegues, Context, Doctor, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Eye, Family, Friendship, Health, Nurses
Yep, that’s me.
Looking more and more like a pirate.
In fact all I need is a hook and a hat and my metamorphosis will be complete.
Sadly, I don’t look like this because I am going to a fancy dress party, I look like this because I’m going blind.
Good news. Only in one eye.
Bad news. The other eye is fucked from years ago.
I’ve written a bunch this year about my ‘new’ eye problem … how it seemingly came from nowhere when I was holidaying in Penang at Christmas.
I’ve also written how it is part of a rare, auto-immune disease that’s been triggered by the trauma my other eye experienced when I was 21.
I know, it makes little sense … but the upshot is my eye is getting worse – not better – which is humbling, frustrating and terrifying.
What makes it more painful is no one knows what triggered the disease in the first place, nor do they know what is causing it to sustainably resist all the treatment despite all the tests I’ve had, and having.
And boy, have I had a lot.
Injections.
Laser.
Drops.
Photographs.
Scans.
Blood-tests.
So many eye tests, I know all the letters without looking at them. Hahaha.
I’ve been seen by optometrists, surgeons, specialists and – because it is such a ‘unique’ problem – a fuckload of medical students.
Hell, the chief surgeon called me a ‘medical celebrity’ … possibly the best backhanded compliment ever articulated.
And while an operation in November will hopefully dramatically slow down the speed of my vision loss – potentially even restoring some of it – they’ve already told me I will be facing a lifetime of treatment and care.
The problem is my eye is a fucking diva.
The disease – if left untreated – will take away all of my vision.
The medicine for that creates massive pressure that can also take away my vision.
And the pressure meds are causing weird cataracts that are already robbing me of my sight.
[And no Andy, it has nothing to do with the size of font I use on this blog … though now, when I write a post, I have to make it so big that it could easily double as a fucking billboard]
So for the Doctors, it’s like a giant game of whack-a-mole, just with eyes …
Or said another way:
My eye is a perfect storm of fucked-up, pain-in-the-ass, one-in-a-million problems.
Aren’t I lucky, hahaha.
Now, before this gets too depressing, I appreciate that compared to many, I am in an incredibly good position.
I’m not just saying that, I mean it.
I have great doctors and nurses looking out for me, which I’m incredibly grateful for. On top of that, I’ve been brilliantly supported by everyone around me – including my team, everyone at Colenso, all our clients and the artists I work for, which is epic, because it’s definitely made life more difficult for them all.
Plus I’m in the best physical – eye aside – shape of my life.
Annnnnd the operation in November offers me some real hope and positivity about the future [for my eye, at least – ha] albeit it’s not a dead cert by any stretch of the imagination.
However I must admit, even with all this good stuff, the worry of seeing [excuse the pun] the potential loss of my independence is not a great feeling.
Without positive and successful intervention, my eye will be able to fuck me up in ways past bosses and colleagues only dreamed of pulling off:
From robbing me of my ability to drive.
To robbing me being able to travel with ease.
To robbing me of my ability to experience different forms of art.
To, albeit much, much further down the road, robbing me of my ability to work.
And then – worst of all – robbing me of my ability to see my brilliant son growing-up.
I know that’s all worse case scenario … I also know I’ll find a way to adapt if/when I get to this situation … but it doesn’t feel great. Though what’s strange is it’s less about the loss of my vision and more about the loss of my relevance.
By that I don’t mean in terms of my career – though that isn’t exactly awesome either, haha – but more in terms of being able to contribute to life:
My life.
My families life.
My friends lives.
My teams lives.
My colleagues lives.
My clients lives.
Societies life.
Maybe for the first time I’ve realized how important all that is to me.
Not because I see myself as some sort of’saviour’ or any bullshit like that, just I find real joy in helping people find theirs.
And while I am sure many people have experienced or discovered this revelation – be it because of age, gender or health situation – it served as an important reminder to me about what ‘value’ really means.
Because while titles, money, success and popularity are all very nice, feeling you’re connected and contributing to life is maybe even more vital.
How fucking ironic I’ve only been able to see this because I may not be able to see anything in the future.
Life certainly knows how to write the darkest of comedies.
And I certainly know how to write the most depressing post on a Monday. Ever.
Of course, the really bad news is that ‘talk to text’ technology means that even if the worst happens sooner rather than later, I can still rant on this blog. Which may sound terrible to you, but is quite lovely to me.
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As an aside, nothing has shown how much of a previous generation I belong to than trying to use ‘talk to text’. I “ummmmm” and “ahhhh” and take about 10 goes to say the simplest command or sentence … whereas Otis – who uses it a lot because of his dysgraphia – is clear and concise first time, every time. Regardless what he is expressing or trying to make a machine do. Proving I am from the generation where type was power, whereas the future – and kids – are all about voice
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But in all seriousness, while this post is depressing as fuck – I’m OK. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Not for sympathy or a cry for help, but just to get it out …
Because as weird as it may sound, now I own ‘it’ rather than ‘it’ owns me, and that’s helped me remember the one thing I know I’m good at which is being a fucking competitive piece of shit, so now I’m sure I can give it a good fight rather than let it have an easy win.
Even more so if the op in November goes well.
And if things do go south … then I’ll have a good excuse for my bad spelling and dress sense. Plus I’ll officially be more pirate than any person at TBWA will ever be. So they’ll either have to hire me into old age to maintain their agency positioning or I’ll get to Lord it over them for the rest of my days.
Win:Win:Win in every way.
Jesus, is this post ending on a high?
I think it is …
What fucking rollercoaster of a rant … but kinda perfect for a Monday.
So with that, have a good day, normal bullshit returns tomorrow. Promise.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Brands, Cliches, Collegues, Communication Strategy, Complicity, Consultants, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Delusion, Distinction, Effectiveness, Leadership, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Perspective, Planners, Planning, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect, Standards, Success
It’s been a while since I’ve had an all-out rant, but here we go.
So recently, I saw a quote recently I loved.
It was by Arnold Glasgow, the American businessman and satirist who said:
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have trying to change others”.
I say this because too many brands – and agencies – think they can.
Worse, they think they can with an ad … an ad that either tells people specifically what to do/what they should do and/or a list of product attributes that they believe will make someone immediately stop whatever it is they have been doing for decades and change tact because they’ve suddenly been ‘enlightened’.
Of course, this is not entirely the fault of agencies and clients.
Too often, it is backed up by some for-profit research group who has said their findings prove – without any possible doubt – this is what people will do and, even more importantly, want to do.
Now this is not an anti-research stance. Or an anti-agency or client diatribe.
The reality is we need some sort of foundation of information to make choices and decisions and research – when done well, like everything in life – is a universally established way to achieve that BUT … and it’s a big but … the definitive and delusional nature of how our industry talks borders on bonkers.
I get we don’t like risk.
I get what we do is bloody expensive.
I get there are big implications on getting things wrong.
But nothing – and I mean nothing – can be guaranteed and yet so much of the business acts like it can be, conveniently choosing to ignore the landfill of failings from organisations who have researched every part of everything they do for in every aspect of their life.
Sure, it can increase the odds of success … like advertising.
Sure, it is better than not doing anything at all … like advertising.
But everyone acting like whatever they are going to do is ‘a dead cert’ is an act of commercial complicity and co-dependency that borders on Comms Stockholm Syndrome.
A long time ago, when I was maybe a bit more of a menace, a media agency told a client – with me in the room – that they could guarantee they’d HIT their sales target if a particular amount was invested.
I asked, “but you don’t know what the idea is yet and surely that has a role in the level of impact and/or investment that needs to be made?” … to which they said their ‘proprietary data’ gave them the commercial insight that helped their clients achieve their goals.
So back at the office – pissed off – I sent them an email saying this was the work.
Obviously, it did not go down well, but then neither did their ‘strategy’ of just throwing money at the wall until they hit the magic number.
Again, I appreciate we all need information to base choices and decisions on, but we’re getting way too generalistic, simplistic and egotistic in our approaches and methodologies – which is why the sooner we remember how hard it is for us to change any part of who we are, the sooner we may start accepting it takes far more than a business goal … a focus group commentary … a marketing methodology or an ad to get people to even consider doing what you want them to do and so maybe – just maybe – it will encourage us all to start playing up to a new standards rather than down to complicit convenience.
But I wouldn’t hold your breath, which is why I finish this rant with a post that I saw recently I also loved – albeit with ‘paraphrased interpretation’.
Thankfully not everyone is like this.
As proven by the fact, they tend to be the ones behind the stuff we all wish we were behind.
Or as my friend said recently, ‘they’re the ones who play to create change, not communicate everything exactly the same’.
Oh, I feel better for that. Thank you for [not] reading, hahaha.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, Collegues, Confidence, Creativity, Culture, Professionalism, Reputation, Resonance, Respect, Revenge
For some reason, this week is a bunch of posts about professional life.
I get it, I have absolutely no right to write about that in any way or form. But since when has that ever stopped me?
Anyway, the next few days may have some use for anyone wanting a career – be it in a company or on their own. I don’t write it because I have all the answers, but more because I’ve experienced a lot of the problems. Self made and otherwise, ha.
So recently, someone I know told me their career hadn’t turned out as they hoped.
The thing is, they had done well.
Lived and worked around the World.
But despite that, they felt it wasn’t what they hoped it would be.
I get it … we all probably have had moments where we’ve felt that, especially if you see others you don’t think are as good as you, having a better career than you.
But while that can spur you on, it can also bring you down.
Making you focus on what you failed at rather than what you’ve gained, or forget that someone out there is probably looking at what you’ve done with the same jealous eyes as you are looking at someone else.
The reality is everyone has something they wish they were better at.
Or should I say, better than someone else is at.
Might be their career.
Could be their talent.
Hell, could even be their looks.
Even that rich arrogant prick Elon Musk wishes he was funnier than he is. He won’t admit it of course, but you can tell by his actions and behaviours that’s the case. From bringing a sink into Twitter when he bought the company to prancing on stage holding up a chainsaw – he is desperate to be seen as someone he isn’t.
And while he may try to front it out, his actions show a deep insecurity with who he is. That he knows he isn’t all he wants to be.
And while I am not trying to suggest we should all be happy with what we’ve got and who we are … it is a reminder that its worth remembering the bits you’ve done that were good, because it’s amazing how they tend to be the first things we forget.
Throughout my career I’ve had people talk to me about feeling they’ve hit a ‘dead end’ and my response to them is the same every time ..
“Go back and review all the work you’ve done in the past 12 months and then come back to me if you still feel the same way”.
To be honest, most of them do come back … but also most admit that maybe they’ve done more than they had first thought they had.
A career is a big thing to have.
It’s hard to get but also a privilege to be able to have.
Not just because times are always changing and certain prejudices are continually remaining … but because we, as people, tend to continually be judging, comparing and competing.
Some with others.
Some with ourselves.
Some with people in industries we have nothing to do with.
So while having ambition and hunger is a key trait of career progression – as is, to a certain degree, jealousy – so is acknowledging and respecting who you are and what you’ve achieved, even if it is not quite what you hoped.
Because if you only focus on what you’ve not done, how are you going to be of value to those who want your expertise in what you have?
Filed under: Collegues, Comment, Context, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Friendship, Honesty, Love, Loyalty, Parents, Perspective, Reputation, Resonance, Respect
Maybe it was because I was in a sentimental mood.
Maybe it was because some feelings were triggered.
But one day, I found myself feeling very emotional.
There were two things that did it …
One was the mother and son rendition of Creep that I wrote about recently the other is what I am writing about today.
In essence, it’s a love story … albeit a tragic one.
A story about friendship rather than romance or family.
And while there are many twists and turns spanning over the 12 years of the story, you never doubt that the driving force behind it is to honour an increasingly complex relationship.
I appreciate it is almost an hour long. I appreciate its a Thursday. But I do hope you watch it.
Because while the film is defined as ‘a crime documentary’, it is so much more than that.
It certainly isn’t as the hyped-up, click-bait, thumbnail suggests.
It’s not bombastic or dramatic.
In many ways, the whole thing feels in slow motion.
I don’t mean that in terms of it how long it takes for the story to be told, but in how gentle and caring the people involved reveal themselves.
In many ways, it’s an important reminder that love, family, friendships and life are made up of beauty, fragility and – more often than we may want to accept or acknowledge – mystery.
And while we may not intend it.
And sometimes, may not even realise it.
The choices, actions and behaviours we make can leave the people we care about with questions they may never get to resolve.
Questions that can turn into scars that will never heal.
Or, like in this story, scars that can finally start to recover.
What is beautiful about this documentary is that it radiates humanity.
Everyone in it comes out of it with your respect and compassion.
You want these people in your life. You want more people like this in all of our lives.
And this is a reminder they’re there.
They’re all around us.
We just have to see them. Before it’s too late.
I hope it touches you as much as it touched me.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Business, Collegues, Comment, Complicity, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Experience, Fulfillment, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Perspective, Process, Professionalism, Reputation
A few weeks ago, my beloved Nottingham Forest imploded.
Despite having the best season we had experienced in decades, I woke up to the news that our manager, Nuno – the best and most successful one we’d had in decades, was potentially going to leave the club after just one game.
One.
A game that we had won and that I’d written about here.
Add to this that Nuno had very recently signed a new contract and the whole thing made no sense.
Until it did.
Because while details were still murky at the time, it appeared that a new, senior executive had joined the club and in a period of just 2 months, they had caused huge rifts with his decisions, stubbornness and ego.
Now I am not denying that the way our manager raised this issue – via an interview – had a lot of room for improvement, however the real issue was that a club bursting with optimism had burst in a matter of weeks because of one, senior, leader.
In many ways, this is not a story of football, but of modern corporate behaviour.
Let’s be honest, we’ve all seen it …
Where someone comes in and thinks they know how to do the job of everyone else better than everyone else – regardless of the fact they’ve never done those jobs or being as successful as those in the job.
And rather than start by listening, learning, discussing and collaborating … they immediately turn it into a ‘big swinging dick contest’ and before you know it, they’ve destroyed everything that made things special before they came.
People.
Culture.
Process.
Standards.
Everything.
But if that wasn’t bad enough, they then blame it on the people they went out of their way to undermine which they’ll then justify using words such as “efficiency”, “consistency”, “modernisation”, “uniformity”, business demands” and/or “unlocking the power of our collective strength”.
I should point out at this stage, this is not always the case.
But I should also point out, it is often the case … as demonstrated by the fact that despite the owner of Nottingham Forest publicly stating he supported Nuno and would be holding ‘clear the air talks’ shortly, he ended up ‘clearing Nuno’s desk’ and firing him.
So why does this keep happening – both in football and in companies?
Is it because companies like hiring psychopaths?
Is it because companies only care about the cash?
Is it because employees are idiots when not controlled?
While it would be tempting to say yes, we all know that’s not the case.
However there is a reason why I think happens more and more – and to that, I point to this brilliant piece by the original manager of Guns n’ Roses – Alan Niven.
Put simply, he highlights how too many companies hire senior leaders from other industries – believing their ‘business knowledge’ will help them achieve greater success. And while that sounds all well and good, they forget that while business may have some steadfast principals … every industry works very differently from one another and if you fail to realise how a specific industry truly operates – or you try to make it work how your previous industry operated – you find many end up tearing things down, rather than building them up.
Pretty much nails it.
And while he writes about the music industry, we don’t have to look too far to see this happening all around us.
Where people who have never made the work, decide and dictate how the work should be made.
Placing more importance on scale, conformity and cost-saving than creativity.
Believing the only thing that motivates is money, rather than acknowledging the importance of standards, craft and respect.
Of course every industry can improve.
Every industry has things they can tighten-up and evolve.
But if you’re not from the industry, you often see the bits you don’t understand as the bits that need to be addressed and then before you know it, you’re killing the very thing that drove and defined your value.
And everyone suffers … except the people who instigated all the change.
Because the way their remuneration is structured, even when they lose, they win.
Experience matters.
Not just in terms of the roles you’ve had, but how you gained them.
Because while outside perspectives are powerful and beneficial, when there’s more people with that context than there those who have the knowledge and understanding of how everything actually works … then you find that many of their strategies end up driving a companies demise rather than their future.
Or as my mentor Lee Hill said:
“The greatest lesson I’ve learned is that when it comes to industry practice, logic is personal rarely universal”.