The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …

Over the years, I’ve written a lot about collabs.

The good.
The bad.
The ridiculous.

But recently there has been one that has somehow achieved all three. AT ONCE.

That’s right, the glorious, overpowering flavor of Pickled Onion Monster Munch and Heinz mayo.

It’s the combination no one asked for … no one expected and no one imagined could work.

And it doesn’t, and yet it does.

It’s possible the unhealthiest and most unpleasant thing you could ever put in your mouth and yet – if you’re like me – and love Monster Munch, it’s something you could not possibly resist from trying.

Hell, when we moved to London back in 2018, it was literally the first ‘British’ food item I got Otis to try – literally the morning after we arrived – and the fact he liked them [at least he did, then] made me burst with so much pride, I could overlook his development of an American accent. Just. Check it out below..

But here’s the thing, similar to when the Absolut Disco Ball packaging made me buy alcohol, despite having not drunk anything since I was FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, this collab made me go to absolute lengths to get it into my hands.

You see you couldn’t buy it in NZ so I had to adopt different means.

I wrote to Heinz.
I joined their ‘fan club/DTC’ service.
I explored supermarkets in both America and Australia.
I contacted courier services about getting it and delivering it to me.

In the end, a plea on social media was answered by the incredible thoughtful Jestyn on Twitter/X … who not only got it for me, but sent it to me as well.

And while I would not get it again … the fact is I was not only more excited about it than 99% of brands out there, but I went to greater lengths to get my hands on it than I would for 99% of brands despite the fact I knew it was overtly bad for you and I’m Mr Healthy these days so I was perfectly aware that I’d only ever taste it once.

While there are many possible lessons we could learn from the creation of this, albeit, novelty product – be if fandom, communities or unexpected relevance – the real lesson is to follow, and then protect, the excitement.

The stuff that captures the imagination.
The stuff that changes the conversation.
The stuff that keeps people on their toes.
The stuff everyone keeps referring back to, even when logic tells them not to.

Because as Paula, Martin and I explained at our Strategy Is Constipated, Imagination Is The Laxative talk at Cannes back in 2023 … the greatest strategy doesn’t start from a place of logic, it finds the point of most excitement and works back from there.

Comments Off on The Commercial Value Of Protecting The Excitement, However Weird It Sounds …


4 Lessons That Will Help You Build Your Career Rather Than Someone Else’s. [Or Said Another Way: How To Not Be A Muppet]

Every new year, people tend to re-evaluate their plans and ambitions.

What they’re doing.
What they want to do.
How they can achieve it.
How they can stop doing what they don’t want to do.

So given it’s still – just – the first month of 2025, I thought I’d try and help by offering some advice that may or may not be of use to anyone evaluating where they are or where they’re going in their career.

I appreciate this sort of thing can often come across as patronising or condescending as hell, so the way I’m approaching it is to simply give the 4 pieces of advice – out of all the advice I’ve received over the years, whether I asked for it out or not, haha – that I have genuinely found valuable, useful and usable.

1. Be known for being really, really good in up-to 3 specific areas of your job.
That could be the work you create. That could be for the new business you win. That could be for how you can deal with problem clients. In many ways, it doesn’t matter … you just need to build your reputation around some specific things rather than try to be known for everything.

2. Make sure you do things of significance in your current role rather than always having to refer to something you did in the past.
By that I mean don’t think you can sit on your laurels because you achieved something of note at one point in your career. Reputation – at least one with contemporary value and momentum – is forged by repetition rather than singularity.

3. If you want to earn money, focus on being good at one or more of the 3 ‘R’s’.
While it would be nice to think you move up the career and salary ladder by performing well in your job, the reality is companies place disproportionate value on 3 things.
Relevance: your reputation is in areas that are enjoying a period of commercial topicality.
Relationships: you have close connections with people in positions of commercial significance or importance.
Responsibility: you are willing to deal with complex or sensitive issues. Or said another way, you are OK with letting people go.

[Note: As someone who has experienced this from both sides, there are ways to let people go that are far more humane than many approach it. At the heart of that is focusing on transparency and sensitivity … so study how to do it, it makes a difference for the person it relates to. Still won’t be good, but it can be a whole lot less bad]

4. If you wait for perfect, you will wait forever.
This is ultimately about being proactive. Making good things happen rather than hoping they will. That does not mean cheating, manipulating or acting in stupid ways … it’s about using your impatience and/or frustration to actively learn, evolve and engage with those who can help you move forward. Said another way, it’s about taking responsibility for what you want to have happen rather than complain something didn’t – which helps explains why I’ve always adopted the attitude that if you’re open to everything, anything can happen. And I’ve been lucky enough to prove that approach works. Again and again.

That’s it.

4 simple pieces of advice that – along with ‘learn from winners, not players’ – have had more influence over how I have approached my career than almost everything else put together.

Whether you find that valuable is dependent on your context and whether you think I have had a career of value … but for a bloke from Nottingham who didn’t go to university and didn’t do very well in his school exams, I think I am doing OK.

[Note, present tense, not past – ha]

The best thing about this advice is that I was given it early enough in my career that I could embrace it and adopt it in my choices and behaviours. But even better than that, I was given it by someone who had truly achieved in theirs.

I should point out they didn’t say it with arrogance or bravado.
They also didn’t say it with an attitude that it would be easy to achieve.
They said it because – for some reason – they believed in me and wanted the best for me.

And while it offers no guarantee for success – and still requires large dollops of luck along the way – it has served me well.

While I’m firmly of the belief that the best advice for your own development is to learn from your our own successes, failures and fucked-up choices, I pass these points on because I’m fed up of reading certain individuals [some who have achieved certain degrees of success, by whatever criteria you wish to allocate to them, and some who have most definitely not] suggest the best way to experience career growth is through the blind adoption of their ‘for-profit’ tools, products, services and training … which begs the question, whose career development are those people really focused on?

As my old man used to say, knowledge may be power … but adherence is conceding control.


Comments Off on 4 Lessons That Will Help You Build Your Career Rather Than Someone Else’s. [Or Said Another Way: How To Not Be A Muppet]


A Reminder Of What Creates Value …

As its the start of a new week, in the first month of a new year … it’s pretty safe to say we can expect another year of endless ego, humble-bragging and self-righteous bullshit … and that’s just the stuff you get from me.

So while I am the last person you’d expect this to come from, I thought I’d use this post to try and remind us what professionalism really is … why we desperately need to treat people as humans rather than ‘consumers’ … and why a job well done doesn’t mean having/creating/using AI driven, friction free, optimised sales funnels, powered by parity brand assets … meaningless marketing practice certificates … grandiose PR statements … and endless statements about all the awards we ‘won’ from increasingly obscure media publishers. [not forgetting all the posts we put on all social media platforms telling everyone about them, while conveniently choosing to ignore how actively we were involved in lobbying for them]

And how will I do that exactly? With this:

You’re welcome.

Here’s to having a good week.

And a less bullshit producing/polluting new year.

Comments Off on A Reminder Of What Creates Value …


It’s All A Matter Of Taste …

Over the years, I’ve introduced a number of behaviours and/or rituals into the places I’ve worked.

Some have been serious … like the cultural research studies and books I’ve done, such as Dream Small or America in the Raw [to name but two] and some have been errrrrrm, less serious, like the pie-making competitions.

I say less serious, but people don’t act that way.

In fact, regardless of whether I’m talking about the teams in Shanghai, LA, London or Auckland … they all reveal they’re as competitive as fuck.

And in some cases, delusional as hell. Hahaha.

At Colenso, I introduced the Fuck Off And Pie.

Basically we define a theme – or an ingredient – and people have to make something that reflects it.

It’s all blind-tested and then we vote on who is best over a number of categories before the overall winner is revealed to great fanfare.

Or some fanfare.

Anyway, last month the Fuck Off And Pie theme was ‘birthday’s’.

Over the space of 2 hours we witnessed – and ate – a glorious celebration of creativity, gastronomy, insanity and revenge. Put it this way, as bakers … we’re great planners.

From a personal point of view, I had a lot to prove.

Despite being my idea, the last 2 occasions had seem my submission come second-to-last. This was devastating, given I had won first place at R/GA with my totally breakthrough [cough cough] ‘Breakfast Pie’.

The good news is my entry – entitled, ‘Give Birth, Day Cake’ came a highly credible 3rd.

The bad news is I probably have another HR violation.

Here’s why … followed by some other pics of the day. A day that will long live in our memory, and our bowels.

[It’s a public holiday in Auckland on Monday – I know, I know – so see you Tuesday]

Comments Off on It’s All A Matter Of Taste …


And So It Begins. For The 19th Bloody Time …

Happy 2025 and welcome to year 19 of my rubbish.

I trust/hope you had a good break … even if that is simply because I didn’t write a blog post for a few weeks.

I had a great one.

Not just – as I’ve written before – because New Zealand does the ‘holiday season’ better than anywhere on the planet, but because this year was so different to the year before.

And just to reinforce how much better it was, the day I landed back in NZ I was rushed to hospital as my ‘good eye’ decided to basically stop working.

I say ‘good eye’ because when I was 21, my right eye got a detached retina [from picking up a bag of bloody coal, like some cliched Northerner from the 1800’s ] and while they managed to reattach it – which was touch and go due to some complications – it resulted in it having very bad vision out of it. However, thanks to my left eye being good, I’ve never had to worry about my sight beyond how much it costs to have for lenses that don’t look like I’m wearing beer bottles on my face plus the general protection of my head and eyes.

Even though it has been like this for 33+ years, I’ve never taken my sight – or the protection of my eyes – for granted, so you can imagine how freaked out I was when suddenly my good eye basically stopped working a day before we flew back to NZ from Asia.

Now it’s not totally sorted, but I have been assured it will over the next couple of months [which is handy as you can see from the photo below, I look bloody weird with different sized pupils which means people are even less inclined to look at me] and yet despite all this, I STILL CONSIDER THIS HOLIDAY BETTER THAN LAST YEARS.

Let me explain why …

You see back in December 2023, I started work with a new private client.

They had asked me to do a big project for them with a first check-in date of mid-Jan.

I knew it would take a couple of weeks or so to write things up but stupidly, I decided I’d do it over the holidays rather than before.

There was some rationale for that decision …

+ I had a bunch of stuff to finish before the holidays.
+ I had a bunch of reading to do relating to who this client was as a person/artist.
+ I was exhausted and wanted a break before I got stuck into things.
+ It was the bloody festive season and that’s a time I wanted to spend with family.

But the problem was that even though I had a plan for when to do the work, my brain wouldn’t let me forget about it.

So each day, the thought of the work I had to do would nag and niggle at me.

Slowly upping the volume and pressure.

So as each day ended, all I could think about was how I had even less time to relax before I had to start work, which resulted in me not being able to fully enjoy or relax until – in what felt like the blink of an eye – it was time to get started.

When that happened, the annual break I was so looking forward to, wasn’t just over … but never even had a chance to properly start. So instead of being relaxed and ready, I was tired and anxious.

Add to that, that the holiday season the year before had also been rather a traumatic – with Otis and I both ending up in hospital and my dear friend Chelsea, passing away – I was a shattered, emotionally not just physically.

The result of this was that the first 3 months of 2024 were, in all honesty, one of the most stressful times of my life. Not necessarily because the project was hard – though it was certainly demanding, albeit incredibly exciting – but because I had not allowed myself the break I needed to be ready for a completely new challenge.

The good news – if you can call it that – was the impact of these choices and decisions was very obvious to me and I knew I would never, ever let something like that happen to me again. Which is why before the most recent holidays started, I wrote to all my clients – both my private ones and Colenso’s international ones, who don’t have the same holiday duration as our local clients – telling them I was out.

Not ‘out unless you have an urgent requirement’ … but out.

Nada. Zilch. Gone.

And you know what?

No one minded. Not one.

Now, you could say that’s because they find me an absolute pain-in-the-ass to deal with, but I think – or should I say, hope – I believe it is because they respected my time and respected the efforts I’d put into their business over the past 11 months.

I get not everyone has that opportunity.
I get being able to have a break of this duration is a privilege.
But the reality is a break is the greatest investment you can make in yourself or your people.

It gives them a chance to decompress. To think. To let shit go. To get excited again.

Doesn’t matter if you’re a checkout operator or an old bastard, advertising strategist.

It’s why I hate how some companies treat ‘holidays’ like it’s a gift … something you can only have if it suits the organisations needs, timelines and ego.

Fuck that.

For all the talk companies say about ‘our staff being our greatest asset’, the second best demonstration of that – after being paid fairly – is valuing, encouraging and protecting their rights to a break.

And by that, I mean respecting their people’s right and need to have ‘proper holidays’ rather than attempting to hide their toxicity under the guise of bullshit like unlimited holidays … which not only aren’t ever true, but are something they actively go out of their way to ensure can never be realised.

And don’t get me started on the US attitude to vacations, with their 10 days a year allowance … meaning many people can’t have any break of significance without either years of sacrifice or days of unpaid leave.

It’s why I’m eternally grateful for Colenso’s attitude to holidays.

And why I’m eternally grateful for how NZ values and protects their ‘festive season break’.

[Though one unfortunate side-effect is people often don’t take a break in the rest of the year so they can save it all up for the end of the year, which can also contribute to people feeling and experiencing burnout]

And why I’m eternally grateful to my clients for appreciating and encouraging it for me.

Of course part of the reason for their generosity is because it’s in their interests … because a holiday increases the odds great things will happen for them thanks to your renewed energy, focus and inspiration. But hey, I respect they get this because we all win from it rather one person feeling indebted to the other for having what is their god-damn given right to have.

So hello 2025 … let’s see what you’ve got in store for me.

Or should I say, look out for what I’ve got in store for you.

Comments Off on And So It Begins. For The 19th Bloody Time …