The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


What Business Can Learn From A Green House About Building Better Relationships …

Following on from yesterday’s post, this is about the value of transparency.

Years ago, I wrote a post about a [then] new Police interrogation technique, which basically centered around empathetic transparency.

In essence, rather than use traditional tactics such as intimidation or ‘half-truths’ to obtain the information they wanted, they found transparency – without judgment – achieved much more positive results.

So, for example if someone asked if their actions were going to result in jail time, rather than give them the impression they will be OK if they hand over the information they want, they simply respond with the following:

“It is highly likely you will, but I will ensure the authorities are made aware of how you have helped us in this investigation”.

And then they actually ensure the authorities are made aware of how that person has helped in the investigation.

OK, it’s obviously more nuanced and complex than that … but the heart of this approach is the acknowledgement that people react more positively to truth than harmony.

And yet, despite this, harmony prevails in our lives.

+ We’ll keep your resume on file.
+ We’ll work with you in the future.
+ We like being pushed and challenged.
+ We will issue the payment this week.
+ We will introduce you to other companies.

There’s so many of these ‘daily’ statements of harmony going on in every office and company around the World … and while most are doing it because they want to avoid disappointing or hurting the other party, the problem is when it’s not true, it ends up creating bigger issues because people find out and then resentment cultivates and trust gets destroyed.

It’s why one of the greatest lessons I have ever learned came from the wonderful LTA of Wieden+Kennedy.

He said, “transparency is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give a client”.

That doesn’t mean you are a rude or selfish prick.

Nor does it mean you can act like a sledgehammer.

But it does mean you respect the other person enough to tell them the realities of the situation rather than the fantasy of it.

Not because you want to upset them or hurt them, but because you want to empower them …

To know where they stand.
To enable them to choose what to do next.
To own their situation rather than be owned by it.

And while you may all think this is just basic common-sense, in this age of toxic positivity it’s a pretty radical approach to commercial relationships.

But then, a lot of what we call relationships, aren’t these days are they?

More marriages of financial or outsourcing convenience.

Which may explain – as I wrote a few months ago – why one of my clients is so successful.

Because while relationships are at the heart of his business, not only does he understand they need to be mutually beneficial to encourage longevity, they need to be more than just convenience to be worthy of that label.

Put simply, relationships are built, not bought.

And the foundations of the best ones are always truth over harmony.

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Why Having A Healthy Disrespect For Where You’re Supposed To Be, Can Take You To Places Where You Never Thought You Could Turn Up …

When I started in this business, 10,000 years ago, I was a pain-in-the-ass.

OK, I admit … I still am, but for different reasons these days.

Because back then, my annoying trait was driven my eagerness to learn.

Not just from the people around me, but anyone who I thought had – or was – doing something interesting.

It meant I had no boundary as to who I spoke to.

Not just in the agency, but out of it too.

It resulted in me talking to all manner of different people – regardless of their role or level – the only requirement being they had to doing something I thought was interesting.

Not because I was trying to gain favor.
Not because I wanted to earn ‘social clout’.
But because I was, as my Mum had taught me, interested in what other people were interested in … and I thought who better to look at than the people who had, or were doing, something that interested and intrigued me.

What this meant was I not only built up my context and breadth of knowledge pretty rapidly, it also meant I built connections that I may otherwise not ever get to. Not that, my goal was that, it was just a byproduct of it.

And while I definitely got this trait from my parents, at the time I just thought it was normal … something everyone did. Until I realised it wasn’t.

One day I got called into one of my bosses office and asked what the fuck I was doing.

A client had mentioned to him I’d been in touch [in a nice way] and my boss couldn’t work out for the life of him, how – or why – that had happened.

As he started telling me that I need to spend my time focused on my job rather than interrupting people from doing there’s … I told him that I was doing my job. That I’d not let anything fall through the cracks and it was at that point he inadvertently gave me one of the best lessons I’ve ever had in my career.

You see, when he realised I was meeting/chatting to all these people but still fulfilling my responsibilities, he knew he didn’t have a leg to stand on. Worse, he knew I knew.

And that kind-of liberated me to go after anyone or anything I found interesting.

It’s how I met Paul Britton, the Forensic Profiler who brought the discipline to the UK.
It’s how I met Clotaire Rapaille, the author of The Culture Code – which has had a huge influence on my work.
It’s how I met Lee Hill … who I am incredibly grateful is still in my life as my mentor and friend.

And despite all that being decades ago, I have continued to do it throughout my career – resulting in me getting to learn and understand perspectives from International Football Managers to Sex Workers.

Or said another way …

By following what interests me rather than what is expected of me, I’ve ended up with a wonderful range of wonderful people who continue to inform, educate and advice me on what I do and how I do it.

The reason I say this is that I am pretty surprised how many people only want to engage with people of a similar level to them. Not all, admittedly … but far too many.

I don’t know if it is nerves, respect, the fear of looking like a social climber or even the bloody class system but what I can honestly say is that my ‘informants’ [as I called them in Heather Lefevre’s great book, ‘Brain Surfing] still provides me with more insight and creativity than all the frameworks, systems, social listening tools and focus groups – put together.

Which is why when people ask me what they can do to develop their skills, I tell them to not follow the words of the Linkedin pundits and gurus, but wherever their curiosity takes them or intrigues them. Because if you only play where you’re comfortable, you’ll never see everything you want is on the other side of it.

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Why We Need To Treasure Imperfection …

One of the things I have loved about living in so many countries is that I’ve been able to see and experience different ways of living.

I don’t just mean from an economic perspective, but in terms of what a country or city values and how it expresses and encourages that through its architecture, planning, facilities and people.

However, over the decades – as economies have grown – more and more of the individual spirit and character of cities has been replaced with identikit skylines, resulting not just in everything looking familiar, but feeling it as well.

Now I appreciate for some, this is a great thing … the creation and demonstration of social progress and achievement. However when everything increasingly ends up looking, feeling and acting the same – regardless of geography – not only is the magic of discovery being traded for the convenience of familiarity, the soul and history of every individual city is being erased and whitewashed over.

I say this because recently, as I was walking around Auckland, I saw this:

The bit that got me most was that first line …

‘All these upgrades are turning our city grey’.

And they’re right.

Don’t get me wrong, Auckland is a beautiful city and a great place to live … but what is being classified as ‘improvements’ is ironically having the exact opposite effect.

The colour, character and contrasts of Auckland are being wiped out … traded out … and moved out … slowly turning the entire City into a comfortable and convenient prison cell. Except instead of this cell keeping people from getting out, it stops people from wanting to come in. Not because there aren’t things to do, but because they are the exact same things, with the exact same people as everyone else is experiencing.

It’s part of the reason I loved the London Underground on Friday evenings.

Because despite it being packed. Despite it being hot. Despite people not really making eye contact, let alone talking to you … it was like a brilliant zoo. Full of different animals hanging out in each others environments.

People going to the theatre.
People going home from work.
People going out for a big night.
People going to do a night shift.
People going on a first date.
People going for a last meal.
Locals … out-of-towners … tourists.

God I loved it … I loved the variety, the weirdness, the characters and chancers.

Or said another way, the pieces that not only give a place its soul and identity.

But also its individuality.

Brands … specifically those who outsource who they are to a ‘for profit’ marketing practice process, should take careful note. There’s a lot of you. Even though it’s increasingly difficult to tell you from one another given you all look, act and feel the exact same.

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Give New A Chance To Surprise You …

One of the things I find hilarious about a lot of strategists, agencies and companies is how they talk about their openness towards innovation, but do all they can to maintain the status quo.

Oh, they’ll claim they give things a chance, it’s just their version of doing that is to immediately compare/judge any new approach against ways of working that have literally had decades to evolve and iron out any quirks … and so, generally, it is always going to end up being the unfairest of unfair fights.

However sometimes dismissal is not even about a lack of effectiveness.

Many times, it’s driven more by personal ego … where rejection occurs because a particular individual fears that any new methodology may result in them losing power and control and because of that, they’re openly hostile [and subjective] to anything being presented for consideration.

So what happens is the industry invents terminology that allows them to feel they’re being innovative but actually it’s all about conformity.

It’s why we hear the word ‘transformation’ banded about so much.

Oh when you hear that you think of acceleration … revolution … category redefinition … but what does it tend to really mean?

That’s right … it’s companies who have been left behind by years of ignorance/arrogance/complacently who finally realise they need to get their shit together so spend a fuckton of cash simply to be where everyone else has already been. The irony with this approach is that despite making such a big deal of their ‘transformation’, they still end up behind their competition because while they’ve been trying to play catch up, everyone else has been moving forward. Again.

But just as much as fearing innovation is harmful to your growth and potential, so is blindly accepting whatever new thing is available to you.

Far too often we’ve seen some companies embrace the new, shiny thing for the simple reason they want to be associated with the new, shiny thing.

Worse, they embrace it and then talk about it like it’s the finished article only to quietly move things aside when [1] they realise it may be shiny, but it’s not worthy or [2] there’s a newer, shinier thing that they need to be seen aligning themselves with.

Sadly adland is one of the worst at this. But so are the tech industries. And basically everyone on Linkedin, hahaha.

New is wonderful. It needs embracing, celebrating and championing. But most of all it needs patience and objectivity.

Patience for the idea to evolve, develop and see where it can go or goes.
Objectivity for you to be able to assess without bias, whether you’re dealing with hype or hope … allowing you the clarity to know if you have to protect it or kill it.

The last thing to remember is that sometimes, the thing an idea needs to work is ‘good timing’.

When I was younger, I never believed it when people [read: girlfriends, haha] said it was ‘bad timing’.

I thought it was just their way of getting out of seeing me.

And maybe it was … however as I got older, I’ve realized timing is a thing. Often an intangible, unexplainable, unmovable thing.

It may be driven by coincidence. It may be driven by circumstance. It may be driven by attitudinal shifts. But there are countless examples of ideas that were made or died because of timing, regardless of who was behind it, how much they spent on it or their history in doing it.

One of my favorite examples is the Toyota Prius.

The general view is Toyota launched the car in response to societies increased awareness of the car being a threat to the environment.

It may be true, after all the concept of the electric car had been around well before Toyota launched the Prius, albeit with continual failure.

[As an aside, there’s a documentary entitled ‘Who Killed The Electric Car’ that is well worth a watch]

However, I was told the development of the Prius had nothing to do with environmental concerns and was a byproduct of Toyota experimenting with their engineering capabilities. By pure chance, they developed a viable electric car at a time where society was changing/evolving … both in terms of environmental awareness but also economic situation. In essence, Prius was a happy accident of timing rather than forward planning.

As with most things, history has a million different authors … but given the Prius was so far ahead of other car manufacturers – and very different to Toyota’s traditional approach to car manufacturing – it feels there may be legitimacy as to how and why it succeeded and it had very little to do with being culturally aware.

Whatever the answer, the issue of ‘new’ is a complex one.

Too many people dismiss it.
Too many people fawn over it.

All I know is we should value it and respect it.

That doesn’t mean you can’t challenge or question, but in a world where everyone wants to give their hot take in the blink-of-an-eye, the smart people give ‘new’ the time to surprise and evolve as well as remember that on the occasions something doesn’t work out, they acknowledge it may not be the idea, but the times.

And times are always changing.

Just ask the horse. Or Ed Klein.

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Just Because You Have An Opinion Doesn’t Mean You Have A Choice …

Recently I read a comment on a post Zoe Scaman had written about democracy.

Her point was – with social media companies bending to Trump’s will – we were witnessing the crumbling of established and vital democratic systems. Most people were in violent agreement until someone wrote this comment:

“Can you elaborate on ‘democratic systems are crumbling’ please? My in-laws were born and raised in Russia, and they believe Venezuela is doing great and Cuba is heaven”.

It was not just a good point, but an important point one. Not said to insult or embarrass, but to simply remind us that context is everything and rarely is it experienced equally.

I say this because it reminded me of a similar situation I experienced a few years back… except, unlike Zoe, there was no legitimate reason not to have considered this from the beginning given I’d been living in China for a long time.

You see, back when Trump was running for his first Presidency, I was running The Kennedys at Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai.

Because the election was a hot topic, I set them the challenge of creating a campaign to tell voters Trump was a monster.

For a few days The Kennedys went about researching more about who Trump was until one day they asked if they could have a chat to me.

“We don’t get the assignment” they said with genuinely confused and harassed looks on their faces.

I must admit, my first impression to this was consternation, until they added:

“Maybe Trump is a bad person but America gets to vote who they want to run their country and that seems amazing”

Basically, they couldn’t understand the task because as bad as Trump may be, the brief was still about democracy and democracy is good. Especially when you don’t have it.

[As an aside, a young, brilliant Chinese planner once described the Government as ‘Rock n’ Roll’ and when I asked why, they replied, “you told me Rock n’ Roll is doing what you like and not caring what others think and there’s no better description of the Chinese Governments attitude and behaviour”]

Anyway, when they said that to me, I realized just how badly I had fucked up – not them.

That I’d made the cardinal sin of taking my context for granted. That I’d assumed everyone understood and appreciated the context and situation I was asking them to embrace and communicate.

And I was obviously wrong.

I’d made the most basic of fucking mistakes – albeit one practiced by most companies and marketing departments around the World.

And I hated myself for it ….

But as they say, it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from it and I learned from it. Big time.

A lesson that I remind myself – or remind my colleagues/clients/researchers – literally everytime we talk about people, situations and contexts.

And while Zoe wasn’t as naïve as I was – because for her, it was more about how she phrased her point rather than being ignorant to the wider issue – she has also likely learned from it. A lesson that will make her even better than she already is – which is more than can be said about the people who voted for Trump again, even though I have far more understanding and even respect for why they did it rather than just assuming ignorance and racism.

Anyway, the reason for this post is that I recently saw a tweet that reflected how young Chinese people see Americans – in relation to the most recent election – and I found it fascinating. Because rather than viewing ‘democracy’ as freedom of choice, they now see it as something else … something that not only may be the best take on what modern democracy is, but also explains why all the social media companies have been so desperate to bend to the will of the new administration and why Trump [as much as I hate to admit this] probably understands how modern communication works more than most media and ad agencies.

Have a look at this and remember, what’s normal for you may be abnormal for everyone else.


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