Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Consultants, Culture, England, Finance, Government, Money
So I saw this job ad doing the rounds …
Now I appreciate, £66,500 is a lot of money.
Especially at a time when the world is facing economic pressures.
But this is for the Head of Digital Currency.
At the Central Bank of England.
On behalf of the Government’s Treasury Department.
Maybe I’m mad, but shouldn’t this position require someone of such economic and political standing … understanding and experience … that they can command a much, much higher salary than this?
I mean, I earn more than that and I got 2% in Mrs Kirk’s maths class.
Who is going to take this job?
Why are they going to take this job?
Who is going to decide who gets this job?
It’s just laughable.
Laughable … because this is coming from a Tory Government who claim to be the economical responsible party but have put the country into financial oblivion with delusional lies like Brexit.
Laughable … because the government is led by a PM who wants to kill the arts in favour of more maths classes, because he feels that will drive more earning potential for people.
Laughable … because an important financial position is hiring down to a price, rather than paying up to a standard.
As I said, I get almost 70 thousand pounds is a lot of money.
But for what we need, I doubt it’s anywhere near enough.
And here’s the thing … if we get someone who can actively help ensure our kids have a better chance of a better future than their parents – which currently is widely acknowledged as not being the case – then I’d be more than happy to see more of my taxes going to them. Because being fiscally responsible is not about how cheap you go, but how much value they offer.
That said, the bigger question is whether I trust whoever is responsible to hire this person … because not only did they decide what salary to offer, but they may also be as under-qualified as the person they want to hire or – more likely – another blinkered, arrogant and ignorant Tory who helped get us in this mess in the first place.
And politicians wonder why the public don’t trust them anymore …
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, China, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Devious Strategy, Honesty, Relationships, Relevance, Resonance, Respect, Strategy
I’ve been a huge fan of what I call ‘devious strategy’.
It’s the art of giving people what they want but in a way that delivers what is in your best interests.
I first recognised it in China when I saw how the Government dealt with issues they faced.
Rather than simply dictate rules – which are often almost impossible to enforce – they created systems that looked – and often were – generous, but were also self-serving.
Case in point, collecting taxes.
To ensure small business – especially restaurants – declared the full amount of their earnings, they created a scheme where customers were more likely to ask for a receipt. They chose this method because they knew to provide a receipt, the retailer had to put the bill through the till … and the moment that happened, revenue would be registered and they would know what was the right amount of tax to collect.
And how did they get customers to ask for a receipt?
By making it like a mini lottery card.
Basically receipts have a little part at the top you can scratch off and find out if you’ve won money. Because no one is going to say no to the chance of free cash, they increasingly ask for receipts and – voila – the government increases the amount of taxable revenue they get.
Genius.
There’s so many examples of the Chinese Government using psychology to solve problems in ingenious ways, but another example I love is from the actor Daniel Radcliffe.
I wrote about this a few years ago, but in short, Daniel was fed up his photo was being taken – and sold – by the paparazzi every night as he left the theatre where he was performing.
So to counter them, he were the same clothes every night as he left the venue.
After a few days, the paparazzi realised no one would buy their photos given he looked the same in every one and so – despite giving them what they wanted – Daniel got what he wanted, which was the paparazzi leaving him alone.
Brilliant.
It doesn’t take long to see a ton of other examples from this to this … but the reason for this post is because of what’s going on with Twitter.
Since Evil Elon took over, he has increasingly been making the platform a place of hate.
For all his claims of ‘free speech’, it’s obvious he only cares about what he thinks is right.
Which is why I recently used this slide in a talk I was giving to Elon fanboys.
It was worth it, if only to watch their faces try to work out what I was saying …
Which is why sometimes, the best strategy to take on challenges is not facing them head-on … nor finding ways to navigate around them … but becoming their best friend to mess with the natural order of things.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Black Lives Matter, Brand, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creativity, Culture, Disney, Embarrassing Moments, Experience, Inclusion, Individuality, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Packaging, Perspective, Relevance, Resonance, Respect
Good news. Bad news.
Good news: Given I had yesterday off, that means you only have 4 days of this blog to deal with. Seriously, this is the slowest ‘easing you back into my rubbish’ that I may have ever done. What a Saint.
Bad news: There’s no more holidays for ages so prepare for a lot of it. That is if anyone reads this any more. Or if anyone read it, more like. Especially given the lack of comments which was – let’s admit it – the only reason people popped along. Damnit.
Anyway, I thought I had posted this a while back only to discover it was still in my ‘to post file’. The good news is 99.96% of my posts fail to hit the ‘topical sweet spot’ so I can still post it and no one will bat an eyelid.
I have a strange relationship with the Disney organisation.
I appreciate their history.
I appreciate their creativity.
I appreciate their craft and film making.
But they can also be a bunch of assholes.
This is not just based on the 3 years of weird shit – good and bad – I experienced with them when we were launching their park in Shanghai at Wieden [only for them to take the business off us at the last moment and hand it to Ogilvy simply because as the first park in the digital age – we wanted to use digital to bring the story of the characters journey to China to life] but because they have a history of putting their name to anything if they’ll get paid for it.
Now I have to admit they’re very successful at doing that … but it just reinforces there’s two groups the organisation. The craftspeople and the greedy exploiters.
OK, that’s like every company I suppose, but they just don’t even try to hide it … which is almost impressive if it didn’t rob you of the hope of someone good to believe in.
I know … I’m a sentimental idiot.
So you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was with how Disney decided to handle the merchandise for Black Panther Wakanda.
Rather than sell the rights to Kmart to be shoved on as many t-shirts as possible, they partnered with Actively Black.
Actively Black is a community-first, black owned and run company committed to advancing representation of Black creatives, designers, and brands and they actively invest in the health and wellness of Black communities worldwide.
They’re an amazing organisation and so it’s no surprise the merchandise proceeds would be put towards educational programs and resources that promote physical, mental and emotional health, HBCU athletics, social justice initiatives and DEI advocacy.
It was a great move, especially given the importance and significance of Black Panther in the Black and African American community. Not to mention honouring the tragic loss of Chadwick Boseman.
It seemed Disney understood that of all the characters in the Marvel universe, this was one that had an even more significant role and position in culture and should be treated as such.
I say ‘seemed’ because then I saw this …
And to give you more details, there’s this …
What the absolute fuck?
A screwdriver set.
A FUCKING SCREWDRIVER SET!
I know Disney have form pimping their icons out, but a Kmart screwdriver set?
All that good will.
All that consideration.
All that sense they actually understood.
Let’s hope the reason is as my friend John stated:
“Calm down Rob … don’t you get that you need some serious power tools to dismantle the capitalist white supremacist patriarchy”.
We all know it isn’t.
But I wish it was.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Creative Brief, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture
Congrats, you survived my first week back.
OK, so it was only 3 days, but I’m still impressed.
But I don’t want you to heading into the weekend thinking you’ve already mastered the art of dealing with my rubbish, so here’s something to test you.
Good news.
It’s not about Queen.
Or Birkenstocks.
Or Nottingham Forest.
Bad news.
It’s about gadgets and cats.
You see a while back, I had to fly to the US and it just so happened to coincide with Jill and Otis being in Fiji [as you do]
While they were coming back the day after I’d left, it did mean Rosie the Cat would be on her own for a night.
Now she’s been on her own for a night before.
Hell, she was on her own for 15 nights when she had to do her quarantine when we moved to NZ – and that was after a hellish 26 hours in the cargo hold of a plane – but I still felt guilty about it.
So despite leaving more bowls of water and food to keep an army going for a year, I still wanted to know she was doing OK … which is where my love of gadgets comes in.
Putting aside the fact my plane had wifi – which is incredible in itself – I was able to use that wifi to connect to a camera in the house and see this …
There she is.
In NZ.
While I’m 40,000 feet in the air, somewhere over the Pacific Ocean.
But seeing my cat in real time while being so far away, surrounded by nothingness is not even the most impressive bit.
You see the reason her eyes are glowing as she looks directly at the camera is because she’s hearing my voice as I talk to her. TALK TO HER!!! LIKE I’M IN THE BLOODY ROOM. And that’s after I used an app on my phone to lower the blinds so she could feel more comfortable.
Go back just 25 years and doing this shit would be considered witchcraft. But here we are, able to do this wizardry without much effort or expense.
Madness.
Now I appreciate this topic has been discussed before and by people more articulate than I’ll ever be – for example disgraced comic, Louis CK with his ‘simpler times’ speech – however when you experience it, you realise the impact is far more powerful than words can say.
I loved being able to still look out for Rosie while I was far away.
Or at least, feel I was doing that.
Which is why for all my love of tech gadgetry, convenience and weirdness, its real power is realised when it enables your feelings rather than celebrates its function.
I know this is not new, but it’s amazing how few companies get that.
Even Ring – who literally made this happen for me – don’t seem to get it, which gives me the chance to reuse my fave Lucille Ball quote [and Colenso strat team sticker] to kind-of highlight one of the great issues with a lot of people working in marketing. And tech.
And for people who don’t know what the hell I’m trying to say, it’s this:
Listen to your audience more than your ego.
And with that, congrats on surviving this week and have a great weekend. To make things a bit sweeter, there’s no post on Monday because – drumroll please – THERE’S A HOLIDAY IN NZ.
I know. I know. We just had the World’s longest break, but not only is there one this Monday, we had one last Monday as well. Personally that would be my government campaign to attract talent to the country, but maybe that’s just me.
Beter go. Jill and Otis are in Australia, and as much as I miss them, I have countless true crime documentaries to catch up on.
Have fun.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Birthday, Colenso, Colleagues, Creativity, Culture, Cunning, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, England, Family, Happiness, Health, Home, Hope, Jill, Love, Loyalty, Martin Weigel, Mercedes, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents, Paul, Queen, Relationships, Resonance, Rosie, Shelly
So this is it, the last post of 2022.
Again, I want to say a big thank you to everyone and anyone who has read or commented on my ranting rubbish.
I have to say, I miss the comments.
I know it was my choice to stop them, but I do miss them – so maybe I’ll have to bring them back, even though I’ve become waaaaaaay more productive since they’ve been turned off as I don’t have to spend vast amounts of my time checking what insults have been written to me and about me, hahaha.
But lack of comments aside, it’s been a big year … mainly because it has been the first year in a couple of years without any lock-down. And yet I still find it bizarre seeing people not wearing masks and being able to get on a plane again.
To think of the isolation, suffering and pain so many people suffered, the speed of the bounce-back has taken my breath away. Of course there are still people enduring tough times … but given the horror of the pandemic has seemingly been replaced by the threat of nuclear war and economic collapse, maybe COVID wasn’t so bad after all.
That said, I’m so grateful for the ability to travel again as it meant I was able to go on a trip that I’ll never, ever forget.
A trip where I got to see my beloved Martin getting married in Portugal.
A trip where I got to see my beloved Nottingham Forest getting promoted at Wembley.
A trip where I got to see my beloved Queen in concert with a ticket I bought 2 years earlier.
A trip where I got to see my beloved Paul, after the longest time we’ve been apart in 52 years.
It was, without exaggeration, one of the most special times in my life … with stuff I thought I may never see – or see again – so you will understand why I still feel so grateful to be able to have experienced it.
But beyond that, there were many other things that made this year memorable.
We did some fun work including Beyond Binary, Rick and Morty, Phone It In and Give Up On Humans. Our agency Christmas gift was interesting too. I say interesting, but I mean ridiculous, especially compared to last years more sophisticated Restraining Order, haha.
I wrote a pretty decent April Fools post that conned a few people.
And then, more seriously, I wrote some posts about my dalliance with depression, fulfilment, prejudice and respect that seemed to mean something to people, which made me feel happy it helped in some way.
I worked with Metallica, Miley Cyrus, Muse and Journey, to different degrees of success and enjoyment, hahaha.
We produced Dream Small … which I’m not only very proud of, but has led to conversations and change I never imagined we could have.
The way Otis – and his school – dealt with his dysgraphia diagnosis.
I celebrated my Mum’s 90th.
I got to see the wonderful Maya and Bree again, after years.
I was somehow featured in a book.
My Bohemian Catsody office mural … featuring Rosie amongst others.
I laughed myself stupid about Gi’s shit explosion while also being proud as punch of my wonderful team with our WARC/Cannes Global Grand Prix for effectiveness … followed up with us winning the same achievement at the NZ Effies … followed up by us winning the Global Grand Effie a few weeks later.
Renovating the old Colenso table to give it – and the irrepressible, unmistakeable Kate Maitland – the respect and recognition they deserve.
Lizzie and Amy’s news.
And Paula’s wonderful ray of sunshine.
Then finding the brilliant Briar and Shelly … with Martin and Meg arriving in Jan. [Which in Meg’s case, is almost 2 years in the waiting]
And last – but certainly not least – seeing Boris get pushed out quickly [literally and figuratively] by Liz Truss, even though the evil Tories somehow remain in power.
Of course there was some sad and disappointing stuff.
The loss of the irreplaceable and wonderful Dan Wieden.
Queenie … which hit me far more than I ever imagined it would.
Ben. Who left us too soon.
Mike’s motorcycle accident.
Henry, Liam and Robin left the team.
My first dalliance with COVID. And Jill too.
The bullshit that Simon P was forced to deal with and face.
Not to mention the horrible situation one of our clients was exposed to by the worst of society.
And then too many terrible global events, with the situations in Ukraine and Iran being possibly the worst of them all. What makes these last two even more disturbing is how the media only pay lip service to them. As if they don’t deem the horrors ‘relevant’ enough for their viewers and readers so they hide it on pages 5 and 6 … behind articles on energy bills, political scandal and sports scores.
I know it’s Christmas, but instead of having that one extra drink or buying that one shitty pressie, donating that money to organisations who offer support and help would be amazing. Two of them are this for Ukraine and this for Iran.
2022 has reminded me how privileged and comfortable my life is.
While compared to many, I have only experienced that sort of life, there have been times that have challenged me.
1999 was horrid.
As was 2015.
And last December was arguably, the worst month I’ve ever faced.
But this year, from a purely personal perspective, has generally been pretty special for me and one of the biggest reasons for that is my family.
I know we’re all supposed to say that, but it’s true.
Not just for who they are, but because for some reason, I feel we got even closer.
Emotionally.
Supportively.
Connectively.
To be honest, I thought we were already as close as you can be, but I discovered there’s actually no limit to the level of connection you can feel with loved ones and that has left me feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Maybe it’s because NZ is so far from everyone, we feel closer to each other. Maybe it’s because we don’t see the people we love so often, we have become more reliant on each other. Maybe it’s because we just have gone through some stuff that it reinforced how special we are to each other. Maybe it’s for reasons I’ve not wanted to admit before because it challenges the priorities I’ve lived by before.
Who knows, but what I can say is I love my ramshackle collection of Campbell’s.
Including Rosie, of course.
They’re not perfect.
They can drive me nuts.
But they’re mine and I adore every bit of them.
Which is why I want to sign off by saying to them – and to the rest of you – that whatever you do over this period, I hope it gives you all you want and all you need. I am grateful for everything every one of you put in my life and I hope 2023 – as scary as many are suggesting it will be – will surprise us all with its happiness and fulfilment.
Just as long as mine is happier and more fulfilling than yours.
Hey, I may be getting more tolerant in my old age, but I’m still as only-child demanding as ever.
Have a great one. Back Feb 1. I hope to see you in 2023.
