Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Dad, Death, Family, Love, Parents
OK, so we got to the end of the first week of 2026.
Or should I say the 3rd week … but you know what I mean.
Anyway, I started the TWENTIETH year of this blog with a couple of nice posts.
Then I followed it up with a couple of things that were frustrating-the-fuck out of me.
And now I am going to end it with something deeply personal to me.
Today is the 27th anniversary of my dad dying.
That not only means he has been out my life for just under half my life, but in just 5 years – I’ll be the age he was when he died.
As I’ve written before, when I turned 50 I went through a real emotional wobble believing that meant I only had 10 years before I too died … and while I’ve thankfully got past that, it increasingly shocks me how young he was when he passed.
Now I’ve written a lot about how much my Dad meant to me … how much he means to me … so this time I’m going to post something else altogether. Not because I don’t want to celebrate my Dad, but because I think this celebrates him in a way he would both want and respect.
To do that, you need to watch this …
This not only hit me, it made me really think hard.
And I get it and I think my Dad would have loved it.
Don’t get me wrong, I wish my Dad was still alive with all my heart and soul.
I miss him every single day and I hate I haven’t been able to share any of the past 27 years of my life with him.
But while he is still in my life and still relevant in my life, I know he would want me to refer to him as dead rather than ‘passed away’… not just because he wasn’t religious in any way, but because the word ‘death’, honours him and acknowledges him with greater dignity and love than any of the more ambiguous terminology that is often used to soften the reality rather than respect it.
Put simply, ‘passed’ sounds temporary and death represents permanency … and the reason that is so important is – as Labi Siffre so brilliantly articulates – the permanency of death not only justifies, but enables the full expression of grief because ultimately, grief represents the deep love you had for someone and the importance they played in your life.
And my god, did I love him.
So here’s to you Dad.
Dead, missed but absolutely not forgotten.
Filed under: 2025, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Ambition, America, Attitude & Aptitude, Auckland, Augustine, Authenticity, Bassot, Blogosphere, Bonnie, Business, Cannes, China, Clients, Colenso, Colleagues, Comment, Community, Context, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Death, Doctor, Dolly, Dream Bigger, Education, Emotion, Empathy, End of Year, Experience, Family, Friendship, Happiness, Health, Hope, Human Goodness, Imagination, Jill, London, Love, Loyalty, Luck, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Metallica, Miley, Mischief, Music, New Zealand, Nottingham Forest, OnStrategy, Otis, Paula, Perspective, Planes, Planners, Planning, Presenting, Professionalism, Relationships, Relevance, Reputation, Resonance, Ridiculous, Shanghai, Singapore, Standards, Stories, Strategy, Sydney, Tattoo, Wieden+Kennedy
So I know that I’ve only just got back to writing this blog after being away for my eye-op, but today is going to be the last post of this year. Yes, it’s earlier than it normally is. Yes, I will miss reporting on some stuff like the shitshow that was Fuck Off And Pie ’25 [which happened yesterday and was renamed to ‘Fuck Off And Die’ … because the theme was ‘hot spice’] but there’s 2 main reasons why I’m ending this year’s blog today:
1. My eyesight is still pretty bad so typing takes me a bloody age. [Don’t get excited, this blog will be back when I’m back – which is the 19th Jan – over a month away]
2. It’s Otis’ 11th birthday tomorrow and so the rest of this week is all about him.
That said, this will be a long post … not because it needs to make up the 5 weeks or so this blog will be quiet or because I think people want to read what I’m spouting [let’s be honest, does anyone even read this blog anymore?!], but because it serves as a reminder for me of what I’ve done over the past 300+ days.
The reality is, while this years been dominated by my health, it’s been a generally good year.
Yes, there have been some incredibly hard moments … from the tragic passing of 8 people I knew and cared about – that bizarrely all occurred around the same, short period of time – that still deeply affects me to this day through to the individual I once valued and respected highly, who ended up showing me how fragile trust becomes when someone stops meeting you with the same honesty, then denies it, takes no accountability for it, then runs from it.
But even with all that – and it was pretty shit, made more painful by the fact I was contending with my own health dramatics – I feel very fortunate that I still experienced more high points in 2025 than sad. And given how tough this year has been for so many people, I appreciate how fortunate I am to say that.
And what high points they were …
Getting Bonnie … who has not just added such joy to the family, but has helped Otis in ways we could only dream of.
Watching the family thrive, shine and be happy makes everything worthwhile.
I got some lovely new tattoos.
Finding a brilliant new school for Otis that specialises in kids with his particular contexts and conditions.
Seeing some old friends I’ve not seen for years … topped-off by not just seeing Paula after 2 years away, but speaking with her at Cannes, which was extra-special.
Getting a new car … which I appreciate is as indulgent as hell, but it made me very happy until I had to stop driving it because of my eye. Fucking karma, ha.
My Life Vs Time thing that seemed to touch the nerve of a lot of people all over the place.
Wednesday, September 24th … where I found myself sitting on the steps outside Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai on a very warm night – around midnight – chatting to someone I’d met on that trip that turned into one of the seminal memories and moments of my life, despite the fact all we did was chat for a couple of hours and I’ll never see or talk to that person again. But grateful for that moment.
Talking of Wieden+Kennedy …
I went back to see them after 8 years and not only was it lovely – and surprising – to see some old faces, I got to leave some new stickers all over the place.
Now back to other stuff …
I bought a suit. A good suit. Which surprises me as much as it likely shocks you.
Seeing Ange Postecoglou get fired after 39 days of destruction and arrogance.
Working on some incredible projects for people who are truly wonderful, talented and creative humans.
Being overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity of people and clients in relation to my health and wellbeing … with special thanks and gratitude to Peter, who – on behalf of his clients – organized the surgeon who invented the surgical procedure I was going to have, to be part of the team who took on the drama and trauma of my operation. While we are still waiting to see if it was as successful as we all hope, I know I would not be even in this situation without him, the surgeons, the medical staff, my GP – Stephen Sohn – and the optician at Specsavers in Glenfield Mall … who all contributed to this having a shot of a happy ending.
Hanging out with some of the most famous and talented people in the World. Yep … at various points in the year, I found myself having dinner with a music/fashion superstar, an international model, one of the World’s most famous and iconic humans, a Hollywood screenwriter, the family behind one of the World’s most powerful and desirable Italian luxury brands, some Rock Gods and – on a wild 16 hours in NYC – gatecrashing the birthday party of the wife of one of the music industry’s most famous managers where I spent the evening sat between the wives of 2 different Rockstars who were so welcoming and epic before Taylor Swift entered the restaurant. [Culminating in a gift from one of them which was their way of telling me I was now ‘family’, which still blows my mind]
Having Metallica come to NZ after over a decade away, including a cup of tea at my house for some special guests.
Travelling a lot … including FOUR visits to my beloved China where, on one trip, I got to show some of my Colenso colleagues around for their first time there.
Talking of Colenso ….
We made some properly good work [of which, I’m particularly proud of the Family Roast stuff we did for Medibank for a whole bunch of different reasons and you can see the ad here, and the game here] , launched the brilliant ‘Dream Bigger’ book, won a bunch of international awards [though seeing us not win, we should have, was annoying – ha] and got to host/meet Fergus and his OnStrategy podcast in NZ.
In addition, while it was sad to see Martin and Augustine leave Colenso, I got to see them do great things on their new adventures while also getting to welcome James and Miz – who fitted in like they had been here for years. [Not to mention the wonderfulness of the team at large, who kept me learning, thinking]
As you can see, that’s a lot of good things … more than I probably deserve … but I am grateful for all of them.
Almost as grateful as I am for my son Otis.
Tomorrow, he turns 11. ELEVEN!!!
How the fuck has that happened? And while he has gone through many schools and classes in Shanghai, LA, London, Hundson and Auckland … the fact he is about to end his ‘primary school’ journey seems particularly momentous.
And yet, despite all these changes … and despite his dysgraphia challenges … he has handled it all so brilliantly of which one thing I am very proud of, is his ability to express when it is all getting too much for him.
I appreciate that may sound weird for a parent to be proud of … but I am.
Because if he feels comfortable enough to say when stress and anxiety is beginning to take hold, not only we can help him deal with it – in collaboration with his teachers who have generally been very supportive – it means we have created an environment where he feels safe and seen, and that means the World to us. And hopefully to him too.
He’s such a good kid, surrounded by other good kids.
Cheeky, mischievous, supportive, funny, passionate, compassionate. honorable, curious and independent.
And while they will all be going to different schools in the new year, I am confident they will maintain their friendship. Part of that is because of the way New Zealand works … but part of that is because of the bond they have. One built on more than just proximity, but a real connection based on shared interests, values and energy.
It took me a long time to realise how much energy plays into just how much you connect and relate to people.
Maybe that’s because I’m slow and stupid … but energy matching seems to be the real heart of connection. At least deep connection. And while Otis has met kids who share that with him in every country we’ve lived – most notably, his beloved Elodie in LA – he’s met more in NZ.
Of course, part of that is because he’s older and exposed to more … but for a kid that doesn’t really love the ‘outdoor life’ as is celebrated by all Kiwi’s [which, to be fair, is just like his old man] he’s definitely met his ‘peeps’ here. Maybe that’s why he has said that – while he knows we will leave NZ at some point in the future – he will want to come back and live here. And if that’s not the biggest compliment to the people of NZ, I don’t know what is. Which explains why that as much as my heart belongs to China, my gratitude will forever be with NZ.
So to my dear Otis …
Happy birthday my wonderful son.
I can’t put into words how much I love you but I can say how proud I am to be able to call myself ‘your Dad’.
I hope you have a wonderful day playing Geometry Dash and I can’t wait to celebrate your birthday with you and your friends this weekend.
Big love, hugs and laughs from your Dad, Mum and pooch.
Love you.
Rx
I’ve probably missed stuff to celebrate but this post is already too long so let me end it by saying a big thank you to everyone who has played a part in the good parts of my year as well as those who have popped by to read my rubbish on here.
Without wishing to sound too sentimental, but I am more grateful to you than you may ever know and I hope – whatever you are doing or celebrating – it soothes any pain you are feeling and/or elevates any happiness you’re experiencing.
Just don’t have a better time or better presents than I hopefully will receive over this period – hahaha.
And with that, I’ll see you on the 19th Jan 2026, and here’s to it being a better year than the shitstorm it has been for so many.
Hopefully … with almost 6 weeks of blog freedom, I’m starting it off on a positive.
See you on the other side.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Auckland, Community, Context, Culture, Food, Love, Loyalty, Pride, Professionalism, Small Business
This is the last week of blog posts for 2025.
I know … I know … it’s the Christmas gift you’ve all wanted.
And it gets better, because not only is this post relatively short, it’s also relatively harmless.
But like a scammer trying to lull someone into giving them their credit card number, I should warn you … the rest of the posts this week are long.
Like seriously long.
And while I am in no doubt you won’t read them, they’re actually quite good. Or at least one of them is … hahaha.
So with that warning now formally announced, I’ll leave you with a post about Amy and her ‘Fig’ delivery company … and what we can all learn from it.
I appreciate the last couple of posts have been a bit serious, so I thought I would tone it down a bit. Even though, underpinning it all … is a serious point.
If you look hard enough.
So recently, on a walk, I saw this …
Now, I get figs are delicious.
I get restaurants often need and use them.
But an ‘on-demand’ delivery service for them?
It may initially sound bonkers but I love it exists.
So many people only value ideas ‘with scale’ that they ignore the power of servicing niche.
Sure, it may not make them trillions but they know specifically who they are, what they do and who they are for which is more than many companies who spend tens of millions desperately trying to ‘be something for everybody’ and finding out they’re nothing for no one.
I suppose the point of this post is that while there are many definitions of success – scale is, contrary to what many say, only one of them. Which is why if you have an idea for a business … don’t evaluate it simply by ‘how big can it be’, but think in terms of how important it can be to someone and how happy it will make you.
There’s a lot of celebration for big talking, big names … but frankly, Amy at Figs Direct is more inspirational to me than most of them.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Complicity, Confidence, Conformity, Corporate Evil, Humanity, Love, Management
They say you get wiser when you’re older.
I’m not so sure of that.
You just get more efficient at doing the bits you know, over and over again.
The other stuff? Well that hides, waiting to make a grand entrance. To knock you off your feet or grapple you to the floor.
Sometimes you’re aware of what that thing is through the years spent trying to hide or run from it. But some can be a total surprise …triggered by an event or situation you didn’t even know was an event or situation. And then, seemingly without warning, you find yourself suddenly caught between the glaring headlights of others derision and judgement and the bright spotlight of your own despair and mortification.
We are all fucked up in our own little ways.
The failing is not in our inability to be perfect; it’s the energy we waste pretending we all are.
Someone I met recently admitted to me they were “fucked up” … and said it in a tone that suggested they truly feared the consequences of sharing their secret.
And while they didn’t go into detail regarding the burden they carry, I know some of its impact has been the complete rejection of things that made them feel good and alive. I know, it sounds counter-productive … it IS counter-productive … but when you face this level of pressure, the mind works in mysterious ways and you convince yourself you’re doing the right thing even though you are burning much of what could be good, down to the ground..
There are so many people who are in this situation.
Trying to pretend they’re OK while not dealing with the trauma they probably experienced at some point in their childhood and/or are experiencing right now in their adulthood. Often through – and because of – work.
The amount of young people I met in China recently who are literally exhausted is terrifying.
Sure there are a number of contextual elements that have contributed to it.
The first generation experiencing a slowed-down China economy.
The over-reliance on social media for both identity, community and belonging.
The lack of jobs but with the same high filial expectations.
They are all real reasons and the result is this generation of young, talented kids don’t know how to cope, mainly because they never were taught how to cope – both because they were brought up by parents who never had to deal with things like this as they were economically fortunate – either personally or because of the times – plus they weren’t exposed to technology that made the pressure to achieve even greater. Add to that a schooling system that is far more functionally orientated than emotional and you get this horrible, perfect storm.
Anyway, back to this person I met – who is not from China, but reflects the same mindset.
Since I met them, I’ve discovered just how deeply the impact of their situation has been on them and the people around them – and it has devastated me to be honest. They are a brilliant, talented individual who needs help but feels having that would invite failure into their life. Why? Because platforms like Linkedin tell them – thanks to all the bullshit ‘opinion leader’ pieces – careers and reputations are built on seamless, intellectual perfection, which is obviously bollocks but to young people out there, that is all they know.
Which is each and every one of us is complicit in the situations so many young professionals experience. Which is why if I could relive the moment I met then once again, I would reply with a much more articulate answer.
“We all are”.
I hope they read this post. I hope they reach out. Or I hope they let me reach them.
Look after our young … they’re going to run our future and if we want a good one, we need to give them good habits, good skills and a good understanding of emotion not just function.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Love, Loyalty, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, Respect
Today would have been my Mum’s 93rd birthday.
The only thing more amazing than that is that it means she has been gone a decade.
The irony is that while Mum is always in my life, it’s the anniversaries – specifically birthdays and death – where her absence is more of the focus.
And what an absence it is.
I’ve talked a lot about her generosity, but what was so amazing about it was how she expressed it in a multitude of ways …
Time, patience, open-mindedness, forgiveness, resilience, encouragement … it was all on offer, all of the time.
She had the ability to acknowledge her perspective was always just that – hers – and so disengaging from that allowed her to listen, learn, understand and grow from people expressing their realities.
That didn’t mean she always agreed with what she heard, but she did always give the space, environment and conditions that allowed others to show, share and say what they felt and believed.
It was a superpower to be honest, and one – as I grow older – I feel is even more important than ever before.
She’d be aghast at where the world is right now.
Growing up in Italy during World War 2 – with her family as part of the resistence – her sense of righteousness was cemented early and deeply, but now …
Well, decency has gone out the window.
I don’t just mean in the obvious ways … but the small.
People not bothering to respond to you.
People always having self interest in every action and interaction.
People believing their needs and contexts trump everyone else’s.
But Mum was not like that. If anything, she was too much the other way.
Everyone liked and respected my Mum because she gave them 3 things regardless of situation, context of background.
Time.
Respect.
A desire to understand rather than judge.
This last point is especially important because, as I wrote in 2017, even the military and police have understood the power of nonjudgmental understanding as a potent interview technique.
The point is, we hear all these politicians, businesses, celebrities and Linkedin luminaries bang on about how they have the solution/system to sort everything out … and yet I’ve not heard one of them talk about the importance of time, respect and an environment for understanding rather than judgement.
Which is why I can’t help but feel, one of the key reasons we’re in the state we’re in is because of this decade of absence.
Mum, I love you.
Happy, happy 93rd birthday.
I hope you’re with Dad, holding hands and I hope you’ve never been missed so much and by so many as you are today.
Big kisses and hugs.
Rx